I worked at this Christian store awhile ago, the owner of the shop is a Christian herself and she visits the church regularly, yet she doesn't act like a Christian and she would frequently belittle me all the time.
She almost causes me to lose faith in my religion. Humans always let me down, even my fellow Christians had also let me down.
I guess I should start avoiding all humans and God is the only one I can place my faith in right now.
Yes.
We were once in a really dire financial position, and the worship leader at church (it was a little Pentecostal church) offered me a job. I thought it was an answer to prayer.
I ended up feeling obligated to and responsible for the children I worked with, and she started forgetting to pay me, having emergencies, supposedly mailing checks then blaming me that I never received them, etc. It was costing me money to drive to work everyday, and if I hadn't lived on a farm, with a wood burning fireplace, we literally would not be eating or keeping warm.
There was a three-day ice storm coming up (we were going to be locked in unable to drive for maybe five days), I was out of feed for the animals, and I called and begged her for some of my money so I could feed them so they wouldn't starve. She didn't bother to return my call.
It was a really hard winter that year.
There was a lot more, but that's enough to give an idea.
And I admit, I had a hard time bringing myself to church, having her lead the singing praises to God, knowing she was buying things for herself and for gifts, while we could barely eat and keep warm while she refused to pay me and lied about it.
It was bad for my spirit. I had to go to other churches, or stay home.
I've been treated worse by other people - to be honest, in her case, I don't think it was malicious at all - maybe just really bad management and selfishness. But I've had people maliciously try to hurt me. But they weren't leading worship in my church. It was a whole different lesson, and in some ways a harder one, to forgive less malicious bad treatment just BECAUSE it came from a Christian.
It made me think though, about how people see our mistakes too. If we are outspoken about our faith, we are held to a higher standard by the world, or else we bring reproach on the name of Christ.
I did forgive her. But it was pretty difficult. I had to struggle, pray for her, give it over to God MANY times (I kept taking it back!), and I really think the wound had to be a little less fresh. It wasn't easy for me, I confess.
As in everything that happens, there were great lessons. She recently lost her father, who was a dear Christian man, a preacher. I loved him.
And I know she lost a son to an incurable disease just as he was almost grown. To be honest, now my heart breaks for her. I know how suffering can cause a person to kind of duck out of certain realities, and make a mess of their lives. I think maybe that's what happened to her. I can relate to that, and have compassion on her for it.
It taught me something. But I did learn that, for me, it was so much harder to forgive her at first because I felt she "should know better". But if I will extend mercy and forgiveness to a non-believer, because God wants me to be forgiving and merciful, how much more should I not be so with a sister in Christ? But in truth, it was not at all easy!
