Gentlemen, what things were you initially most attracted to with women you've dated?

[IveBeenThinking]

We better be fair and make one for the fellas, too.


We know that things get revealed and attraction changes as people are together for a while, but Spill the beans fellas, what is it that led you to date the girls you've dated in the past? Yes, it's a singles forum, but maybe some folks who aren't single will chime in, and those of you who are single will spill the beans about past relationships.


So, was it:

Her looks?

Her attitude?

Her security?

Her trust?

Her independence?

Her values?


Or was it how she made you feel?

 

[IveBeenThinking]

So I'll start.



The last serious relationship I had, I had because of her gentle spirit. Yes, I had an initial physical attraction to her, but not anything crazy like she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

For me, I hate drama (as do most guys), and this girl was very simple. She was honest, happy, and kind.


But the one thing I liked most was how she looked at me. How she valued time with me. How she thought so highly of me and respected me. She looked at me like I was a hero in a sense, like I really was the only guy she wanted to be with. I could see it in how she talked to me, looked me in the eye, smiled, and always wanted to spend time with me.

As we dated, other things revealed themselves, but that was initially it. No superficial attitude toward life, a true desire to be with me (not just with someone), and a gentle and kind spirit.

 

[broken_one]

I think the first thing guys usually look for is looks, consciously or not. Otherwise it's usually first someone thinks "wow, she is so sweet" "she is so kind to other people around her" or like "she is really into things that I like, we can talk about anything", and then after you see what she looks like, the deal is sealed.

Guys really don't work the same as women do (sadly).

 

[IveBeenThinking]

I think the first thing guys usually look for is looks, consciously or not. Otherwise it's usually first someone thinks "wow, she is so sweet" "she is so kind to other people around her" or like "she is really into things that I like, we can talk about anything", and then after you see what she looks like, the deal is sealed.

Guys really don't work the same as women do (sadly).

Yeah those things are obvious.



And it's not sadly, God made us different on purpose. It's not like being visual is a flaw.


Plus, ladies want to hear personal examples, not philosophies.


So, spill the beans!

 

[broken_one]

Yeah those things are obvious.



And it's not sadly, God made us different on purpose. It's not like being visual is a flaw.


Plus, ladies want to hear personal examples, not philosophies.


So, spill the beans!

It makes me sound like a jerk. Often.

Um....story, story....one time I saw this girl, she was kinda pretty, hung out with her, found out she was pretty cool, and then we were dating. And that's the story.

 

[IveBeenThinking]

It makes me sound like a jerk. Often.

Um....story, story....one time I saw this girl, she was kinda pretty, hung out with her, found out she was pretty cool, and then we were dating. And that's the story.

You're not a jerk for being visual anymore than a dog is a jerk for wanting to bark or a woman is a jerk for being emotional.


God make you on purpose, my friend. Not that everything you do is good or okay, but your DNA was intentional.


BTW Cool story. Most of my relationships were like that too, I just wanted to give the ladies some details!

 

[tapi]

I don't usually crush on people who I don't know quite well, so while good looks might initially make me curious about a person, their attitude, disposition towards other people, intelligence and values are most important.

In the past, one genuinely was/is the most beatiful girl I've ever seen. She also had a nice personality, but hidden behind a mask of indifference. It sort of added to the mystique. I was younger then though.. and more naive. Sadly some events alienated us and even mutual efforts couldn't fix it.

Last girl I dated has a very nice personality, but ultimately we were just interested in too different things, didnt share all that much in common.

 

[justaguy78]

When I first saw my last g/f I didn't really find her physically appealing. What got me into her was her personality and only after that did I start to dig her physically.

This woman I would like to possibly date or at least get to know is stunning and has what to me is a perfect face. With her, it is easily her face that made me have an interest but I just have this feeling she is probably also a good person. Usually when I look at physically attractive women I think they probably have a 'lame' personality but with this woman it was like I saw her and just had that gut feeling her personality is as beautiful as her physical appearance.

 

[ivan872007]

attitude

 

[Isambard]

hawtness

 

[Nom De Guerre]

Well then, ha, of course it was Stephanie's body and beauty that caught my attention first; but it was the promise of a simpler life together which stole my heart, sure she sold me on her needs of me, on her past, but it was definitely the fact that with her I didn't have to deal with a lot of drama. I've dealt with a lot, I don't want it to be there when I get home as well.

With Alice, Falon, Heather, and Claritza, it was our bond together; each of them had something very unique, and all of them (and I of course) worked hard at keeping our relationship strong.

With Alice, I could always feel when there was something wrong with her; I would rush to find out if she was okay... she's gone as far as to literally save my life, and I hers.

Falon was my first love, and I would go to almost no end to be with her; alas, God had other plans at the time.

Heather, Heather was extremely caring and hyper-sensitive to my needs/wants/desires; and she would go to extreme lengths to make sure I knew it too.

Claritza was just plain adorable, she and I bonded together well as well; I knew her better than anybody else she knew.

I think that's driving the point home enough, sure beauty is wonderful and I definitely adore curves and such in all the right places; but it's the natural bond which takes you above and beyond in my opinion.

 

[SullivanZ]

Looks, initially. I know it sounds kind of shallow, but it is the truth. I first notice things like her smile, her face, if she's pretty or not, her figure, if she is thin, if she has nice breasts, etc. But what keeps me interested is her positive energy, her sense of humour, her kindness and her love for people and God.

 

[Andrew12]

In answer to OP:

1. how she is dressed.

2. Her hair.

 

[MacFall]

I've never dated, but the things that made me fall in love with the women I have loved (unrequitedly) were, in all three cases, their intelligence and goofy senses of humor; and in the latter two, their insuppressible, joyous spirits.

 

[explodingboy]

Only thing I can think of is the DD's,



Damsel in Distress, too many Arthurian legends as a child.

 

[stan1472]

Her face, her body, her spiritual fervor, her leadership/impression among her friends/family.