Friend telling me I dont need to be at every social thing she does

[Ashleyjo877]

I am so upset, this girl from my church who I thought was my friend had a ladies night get together and posted pictures on FB, and when I asked what it was for and if it was dress shopping she said "No. We were hanging out. And you dont need to be at every social thing I do, ok? Im sorry, but no." What the heck? She hasnt ever invited me to a single social thing shes done, ever. And then I said well sorry for asking I just felt excluded. She said theres no reason you should have felt excluded. But isnt that what you just did? And then to follow it up with an exclusive remark of I dont need to be at every social event you do. Wth?

 

[Thir7ySev3n]

She's right. Friendships need their proper boundaries or they become obnoxious to many people. Find a man and cling to him; marriage is the one relationship in which lifelong commitment and comprehensive involvement is to be properly expected, accepted and enjoyed. When people get older, their relationship priority generally shifts to this life-long kind, and friendships often interfere with that and can potentially carry traces of jealousy that are disruptive to the couple. It's why many people remove their friends from their social scenes if they are seeking a relationship of this sort, because they know they will likely stifle their efforts. In an earlier post of yours, you demonstrated this perfectly in your intense frustration at a friend who wanted to leave town and be with her future husband.

As I said, if you want a relationship in which this kind of attachment plus some is healthy, find a Christian man who you can settle down with and who won't find it burdensome to have your company all the time.

 

[John Davidson]

How old are you? All of your posts have been major drama over minor things.

 

[jacksknight]

How old are you? All of your posts have been major drama over minor things.

Yeah it seems pretty odd. It seems everyone around you is treating you in this way, at least that's how you portray it. Maybe the fault is on your perception of these situations. Maybe these people just don't want to be friends with you. There are tons of people that i have a relationship with, but very few that i have a friendship with.

 

[John Davidson]

My Mother goes out for lunch every week with my sister. I could be angry that I'm not invited but I have the sense to realize that they want this time to spend together. I don't have to be involved in every thing they do.

It's the same with the girl at church. She's right, you don't have to be invited to every function. So give it a rest. If they desire your company you'll be invited. Not everyone wants to be your friend. Maybe she doesn't like you for some reason. Could it be because you cause major drama over minor issues?

Sorry for my bluntness here but I felt that it was needed in order to correct your behavior.

 

[seashale76]

I am so upset, this girl from my church who I thought was my friend had a ladies night get together and posted pictures on FB, and when I asked what it was for and if it was dress shopping she said "No. We were hanging out. And you dont need to be at every social thing I do, ok? Im sorry, but no." What the heck? She hasnt ever invited me to a single social thing shes done, ever. And then I said well sorry for asking I just felt excluded. She said theres no reason you should have felt excluded. But isnt that what you just did? And then to follow it up with an exclusive remark of I dont need to be at every social event you do. Wth?

You're the sushi girl, right? After reading your posts, I don't think there's any way you're over eighteen. I think jacksknight was on to something when he said it is likely your perception that is the issue here. If you go through life thinking everyone is intentionally trying to be mean to you and exclude you from everything then that is a skewed perception. I'm going to clue you in on something. Most people aren't thinking about you that much. That may sound callous, but the majority of people on this planet are too self-involved and worried about their own issues to expend that much energy to intentionally make your life miserable.

 

[AGTG]

It's sickening what passes for "ministry" on these forums. You people should be ashamed of yourselves, but it's likely you're not.

I'd like to remind you Ashley is posting in the "advice" sub-forum under the "edification" heading. She came here for counsel related to issues she's facing while trying to connect meaningfully in church. Anyone with an ounce of sense can see that modern churchianity (which is rampant in our nation) defies Jesus' plain commandments and would rather wallow in shallow, vacuous interactions that mimic the worldly sensibilities of social cliques and popularity contests.

But that's not Father God's heart! His heart is with the oppressed, the outcasts, the forgotten ones, the least of these.

Do you all mind if I scribble in the sand a bit?

 

[John Davidson]

It's sickening what passes for "ministry" on these forums. You people should be ashamed of yourselves, but it's likely you're not.

No I'm not ashamed in the least bit. I gave the proper advice that was needed in the current situation.

I'd like to remind you Ashley is posting in the "advice" sub-forum under the "edification" heading.

And I gave her the proper advice which is to stop being a drama queen.

Maybe you should check her post history and see what else she has had to say here before you run your mouth.

 

[John Davidson]

You're the sushi girl, right?

Bingo.

 

[jacksknight]

It's sickening what passes for "ministry" on these forums. You people should be ashamed of yourselves, but it's likely you're not.

I'd like to remind you Ashley is posting in the "advice" sub-forum under the "edification" heading. She came here for counsel related to issues she's facing while trying to connect meaningfully in church. Anyone with an ounce of sense can see that modern churchianity (which is rampant in our nation) defies Jesus' plain commandments and would rather wallow in shallow, vacuous interactions that mimic the worldly sensibilities of social cliques and popularity contests.

But that's not Father God's heart! His heart is with the oppressed, the outcasts, the forgotten ones, the least of these.

Do you all mind if I scribble in the sand a bit?

I'm not really interested in your opinions or your speculation. I'm interested in the truth and in facts.

Exactly how did your rant help her again?

 

[John Davidson]

It's sickening what passes for "ministry" on these forums. You people should be ashamed of yourselves, but it's likely you're not.

I'd like to remind you Ashley is posting in the "advice" sub-forum under the "edification" heading. She came here for counsel related to issues she's facing while trying to connect meaningfully in church. Anyone with an ounce of sense can see that modern churchianity (which is rampant in our nation) defies Jesus' plain commandments and would rather wallow in shallow, vacuous interactions that mimic the worldly sensibilities of social cliques and popularity contests.

But that's not Father God's heart! His heart is with the oppressed, the outcasts, the forgotten ones, the least of these.

Do you all mind if I scribble in the sand a bit?

Also, you are not supposed to be questioning the advice of others.

That is part of the rules of the forum.