I'm wondering if anyone has ever really fought for their marriage when it was so difficult and the partner literally was ready to leave.
For the past 7 months, my wife has been contemplating divorce and the issue is that there's very little I can do other than unconditional love and support. We have been going to counseling but it's mostly my initiative (actually always). My wife has been very dissatisfied with me, but the counselor thinks that it's about things that are absolutely normal for me and part of my personality. It's something where she should not asking me for change but accept me for who I am. It's mostly about social situations, I've always been a very free thinker and the way I respond is sometimes not to her liking.
It seems like the grass is greener to her, and she is about to move out for separation for a few months. She's stated she is not ready to divorce but needs time to consider. The weird thing is that she is not hugging, kissing, sex -- nothing. For months.. And since the counselor has confirmed that the issues she is having with me, are really things she needs to accept, (and my wife admits she does not want to control my behavior). But she is so dissatisfied.
What can I say, I believe she doesn't have the teaching and "gene" from her broken childhood that once you marry someone, you have to become unconditional and accept the person for who they are. She grew up under tragic circumstances with many affairs and brokenness between her parents. But she doesn't really think she is having an issue. She's been so disconnected from me that she is a completely different person.
I kind of took the stance that I will do what I can, and until my last moment (divorce), work for our marriage (without being overbearing). I chose to fight just as I promised and love her in this certainly bad time. But the disconnect is really hurtful and it seems like I have lost her. One thing we agreed on during the separation is being exclusive (that was my condition) which she agreed to, so I don't think she is having an affair.
In summary, I feel really powerless and I believe only Jesus can shake her up. Unfortunately she is not proactive about getting professional help as there is a lot of work-related stress on her. She seems to be mostly obsessing about me. I'd like to hear from people who were in a similar position.
For the past 7 months, my wife has been contemplating divorce and the issue is that there's very little I can do other than unconditional love and support. We have been going to counseling but it's mostly my initiative (actually always). My wife has been very dissatisfied with me, but the counselor thinks that it's about things that are absolutely normal for me and part of my personality. It's something where she should not asking me for change but accept me for who I am. It's mostly about social situations, I've always been a very free thinker and the way I respond is sometimes not to her liking.
It seems like the grass is greener to her, and she is about to move out for separation for a few months. She's stated she is not ready to divorce but needs time to consider. The weird thing is that she is not hugging, kissing, sex -- nothing. For months.. And since the counselor has confirmed that the issues she is having with me, are really things she needs to accept, (and my wife admits she does not want to control my behavior). But she is so dissatisfied.
What can I say, I believe she doesn't have the teaching and "gene" from her broken childhood that once you marry someone, you have to become unconditional and accept the person for who they are. She grew up under tragic circumstances with many affairs and brokenness between her parents. But she doesn't really think she is having an issue. She's been so disconnected from me that she is a completely different person.
I kind of took the stance that I will do what I can, and until my last moment (divorce), work for our marriage (without being overbearing). I chose to fight just as I promised and love her in this certainly bad time. But the disconnect is really hurtful and it seems like I have lost her. One thing we agreed on during the separation is being exclusive (that was my condition) which she agreed to, so I don't think she is having an affair.
In summary, I feel really powerless and I believe only Jesus can shake her up. Unfortunately she is not proactive about getting professional help as there is a lot of work-related stress on her. She seems to be mostly obsessing about me. I'd like to hear from people who were in a similar position.
