Is it possible to love God and be rejected by God? lol, "Just Happened" I'll go further and say it was my fault all the way, but I didn't force myself on the girl by any means. The female posters here think even though the woman asked for sex that somhow it was never the womans fault. In their minds I am a wolf and that women only have pre marital sex because of love. But yea I had sex, it was my fault and I liked it. Sex feels good and everyone knows that.
I feel like I need to be open and respond here... sigh. I had struggled horribly with sex addiction. I was "saved" when i was about 14 or so, had my first boyfriend when i was 15 lost my virginity, and even since then up until 7 months ago, was considering myself as a "freebird" a sexual hippy, and open spirit, believed in sexual freedom, free love etc.
I basically still believed there was a God, but i did not search after him. i prayed, but did not live to please him.
I honestly did not think i had a problem, i just thought i was very open minded and this is what the new day and age is bringing to be acceptable.
so i lived for about 14 years, doing as i pleased. until last sept. i broke down, and was not aware of what i was doign anymore.
i remember crying and praying to God, telling Him how i thought about sex, and asked him "am i really wrong" this is the only thing i knew about myself. the only thing i really cared to explore.
since then, my views have changed immensly. I never thought about waiting until marriage before, but now, it is the biggest thing on my mind.
i know that i want a Godly husband to please, i want to know what it is like to KNOW that someone loves me, and not my body, or sexual appetite etc.
and i did fall, but i got right back up. when i fell, it was almost the most non gratifying thing i had experienced.
i want to be looked at and loved for myself, and my relatinship with God, he still continues to help me.
Just 2 weeks ago i was tempted, someone called me and wanted to go out after a meeting. then the conversation got more detailed, and this person talked about some things that he would like to do. i was uncomfortable, and i told him, "we have discussed where i am at in my focus on God right now, i dont find it appropriate for me"
he then told me the desires are a NEED, they are not purely a WANT. that my soul NEEDS THIS.
after hanging up i felt so awkward and didnt even want to pray about it, but later that evening i did. told God all my feelings, and how i almost even came to justify even possibly going this route.
then i turned in my bible, and opened to galations. started reading, and it was incredible. who was i trying to please? man or God? i knew my answer.
and even then i looked up and thanked him, and said I know now that I will not be going to this after party... but what about before hand? i dont know what to do... and he provided a way out... my best friend just so happened to need me to be with her.
when we are tempted there is always a way out. He says so.