THIS 100% LIFE CHANGING NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE happened to me nearly 40 years ago. I thought that I would share it with you.
At the age of 20 I was in the gutters and fast going down the drain. Due to a very terrible and painful childhood, especially the very early years, I had gotten into drink, drugs of every kind, major crime and the final straw …prostitution. As a dealer too, I had at that time plenty of bluies (amphetamine based) This particular day I was out of my head on drink and drugs as usual. I had been hurt again by a guy and my best friend said to me.. “JULIE YOU CAN’T GO ROUND WITH YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE; YOU WILL HAVE TO LEARN TO LOCK IT AWAY OR YOU WILL JUST KEEP ON GETTING HURT.”
I left her flat and those words kept going round and round and round in my head. I remember going home to my empty flat and realising that I couldn’t lock my heart away. I figured that if we all locked our hearts away, then there would be no love coming out from our hearts and going into the world. I saw that with out us putting out love, everywhere would go cold and dark. Everyone would slowly become hard and cruel and selfish. The image was terrifying; I took more drugs to make me feel better, but I just got worse and worse. I NEEDED HELP, SERIOUS HELP. I had no idea where I could get the help that I needed. I couldn’t turn to God as I was a staunch atheist; during my traumatic childhood I had decided that there couldn’t be a God. In total panic I wanted my best friend Hillary, even though it was her that had said those fateful words. I remember that night with crystal clarity. It was a freezing cold night as I got on my bike. The roads were icy but I didn’t care. I got to Hillary’s place but as I stood outside of her door I saw that she didn’t have the HELP that I needed. I didn’t know what the help was, but I knew what it wasn’t. I got back on my bike and went to another friend’s door, a guy, the same thing happened. He didn’t have the HELP!
I spent hours going round the town. I never knocked on one door. I felt devastated when I realised that all my friends could offer me was more booze, drugs or a shag. It was all these that had got me into this panic stricken state. I couldn’t remember getting back to my flat. I do however remember making the decision that seeing as I couldn’t lock my heart away and I couldn’t stand being hurt by men anymore, I had to end my miserable existence. I put my favourite album on by Supertramp and started washing down vast amounts of bluies with my favourite drink; half a pint of cheap port or sherry mixed with half a pint of strong cider. As I started to feel that I was about to slip away, something in me rose and screamed out loud.. “IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT PUT ME ON THIS GOD FORSAKEN EARTH, YOU HAD BETTER HELP ME NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.” Nothing happened so I necked another handful of pills. The last thing that I remember was Supertramp singing…“DON’T ARRANGE TO HAVE ME SENT TO NO ASYLUM.”
The next thing that I was conscious of. Was that I was kind of floating inside a type of white light cloud. As I became more aware I started to sense that this white LOVED ME. IT REALLY REALLY LOVED ME. IT NEVER SPOKE BUT I FELT IT FORGIVE ME AND IT WASHED ME CLEAN OF ALL THE BAD THINGS THAT I HAD DONE. I don’t think I had any form because I didn’t see myself. Then a beautiful being of light came and indicated with its wing that I should follow. I was taken to a garden where there was the most awesome and beautiful tree. It was laden with all different shaped and coloured fruits of light. At the foot of this magnificent tree there was a tiny chair and the angelic being pointed for me to sit in it. I remember thinking that there was no way that I would fit in it, but I did. I was told to GIVE ALL MY LOVE TO THE TREE AND THAT THE TREE WOULD GIVE ME EVERYTHING THAT I NEEDED.
I don’t know how long I stayed there because I became totally absorbed by the beauty and the divine nature of this TREE. I was brought back and separated from this tree by the voice of the angelic being. It said that it was not my time to die and that I had to go back and tell people that the answer was LOVE. I remember seeing my body laid on the floor and slipping back into it. The being told me to have FAITH and to WAIT. As I pulled myself round and up of the floor an amazing thing happened. I didn’t want to die. I WANTED TO LIVE. BY GOD DID I WANT TO LIVE. It was about 12 hours since I had taken a seriously lethal overdose. I shouldn’t have been alive, never mind feeling ecstatic. I couldn’t wait to go out. I was so full of LOVE THAT I WENT OUT AND SMILED AT EVERYONE.
But here is the BIG PROOF. I had no withdrawal symptoms from all the serious drugs and booze that I had consumed every single day for over 4 years. I had lost friends to drink and drugs. I will write more soon about the very unusual path that my life took after this, Most Enlightening Experience. By the way, I DO SPEAK THE TRUTH. I DARE NOT DO OTHERWISE. Thank you for reading
I have now started to keep all the parts of my N.D.E. posts and other special things on my group page, which is entitled, My NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE. All are welcome to view there and join the group.
I hope my story will inspire and strengthen your Faith in Love…. LOVE, CARE, SHARE. Blessings to ALL." (Julie Carter)