Finding love in your 40's....

[wendyr41]

I am just about to turn 41 this month and I have never been so lonely. Sometimes I sit and cry because I realize I may end up alone in my old age, and even though I feel "better as a person" and my relationship with the Lord, Jesus Christ is my mainstay and grown better and fuller, I cant seem to get over the feeling that love is over for me.

I pray and ask the Lord to send me someone to share my life with but, it seems to get harder. I have no children either, because I was in the mindframe "have a career first" also I did not want to have a baby with someone I dont love, now it seems as though I will never find anyone now and forget having a child. This weekend all I did was cry.

I feel as though it is over.

 

[faithful_midlifer]

Please be assured that God never intended for us to be alone forever. Get out there, meet people and keep on trying. It can happen!

My wife left me and our children after 22 years of marriage; I've raised them on my own the last couple years, and was just devastated by her actions. After our divorce, I wasn't sure if it could ever "happen again" for me. But then I met a wonderful woman a few months ago, and we are heading happily down the relationship path together.

I'll be praying for you. Don't give up the hope.

 

[wendyr41]

Thank you for you encouraging support, Gid Bless you and your family and new love!!!

 

[Mela'h]

(((hugs))) to Wendy. I don't know what it is like to be alone at 40 Wendy. But I do know that God loves you and sees you and cares about how you feel. I will add my prayers for you that God will give you peace and a sense of his love for you. I pray too that God would bring someone special into your life and that you would know that you are not alone and it is never too late Keep the faith!

Christ's blessings and peace to you!

I wait for the Lord, my sould waits, and in his word I put my hope. Psalm 130:6

 

[flaglady]

Darling Wendy - I know just how you feel!

I put my career first though not by plan, just sort of happened that way!
When I turned 40, I had a long period off sick after having a hysterectomy (great emotional shock, that). I went into work to visit and found I had no conversation points with my staff and then it hit me - I didn't exist! Only Sister Jo existed and since I had been out of the link for almost three months, she had been put on ice, so to speak. I realised with some shock that my life had little in it except for my work as an operating theatre manager. Even my so-called leisure activities were work orientated.

I found myself sitting at home sobbing brokenly and for the first time in my life I prayed "God, I am so lonely. Please help me!" It was soon after that I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit (in my own operating theatre) and suddenly my life was filled to overbrimming. I had found Jesus!

I still have 'lonesome patches' but somehow they don't seem so oppressive as before. I still work and I'm still committed to my work for I know that although I stumbled into nursing by accident, it was His design that I should be a nurse and I rejoice in that.

Don't know if this helps at all but it's where I'm presently at!

God bless you, sweetheart!

 

[NicelyAged]

Hey Wendy.

Sorry you're so blue. There's really nothing I can say that will eleviate those feelings. :-(

You're certainly not alone. As a guy, I think it's easier for men to be alone than women. There's a sort of ride off in to the sunset alone kind of thing built in to us. But none the less, it gets hard for me too.

At least you're expressing it to us here and not keeping it bottled up. That helps.

 

[angelwannabe]

Wendy,
I Know How You Feel Im 43, And Single. I Love The Way My Life Is Right Now With My Relationship With God And My Family. I Do Have 3 Kids And 5 Grandkids Tho. But Sometimes I Would Love To Have A Man To Share My Life With, But It Seems When I Pick Them I Always Find The Bad Ones, So I Am Waiting On God This Time.

 

[Jenster]

I'm in the same boat, Wendy, so please don't feel like you're alone. Lots of us understand this situation. I too put my career first, because what I do is a *very* important part of who I am. In hindsight would I have focused more on dating in my 20s and 30s? YES. But the past is gone and the present is all we have, right? So let's make the most of it.

As a side note, I'm fully convinced that the Lord has blessed me with a closer relationship to Him because I haven't been focused on someone else. Meaning, in the spare time I've had - that's what's happened; He's drawn me close. Recently He used me to convey a special message to our church, which has resulted in a huge blessing for the whole body. I am so thrilled at that affirmation of His love for me. Whenever I'm tempted to think "I'm not much because I'm not married," I remember that everyone's equally loved and valuable in God's economy. And He uses us whether we're single or married. That's gotta count for something!

Anyway, I hope you'll have faith that God will bless you with someone to share your life with. He is loving and He is able.

As a practical note, are you putting yourself out there so that men are able to meet you? That's one piece of advice that I've found invaluable. Meeting new men each week (not even to date, but just to interact with) is something you can start doing now to improve your attitude and understanding that men ARE out there. Go to other churches' fellowships. Be open and ask for God's guidance.

Blessings, honey.

 

[Imaginosis]

I am just about to turn 41 this month and I have never been so lonely.

I can - to a degree - relate to your loneliness. When I'm feeling lonely, I just start thinking about my high priest Jesus who's been there and done it, experiencing all facets of human misery. Can you imagine the crushing loneliness he felt on the cross? Jesus is not an Ivory Tower High Priest. He's somebody I can identify with, which is more than I can say for Buddha, Muhammad, Confusion, etc. When feeling lonely, go to the cross.

 

[osx]

happy birthday! Hey, I feel your pain. Im 41 and in the same boat.

Dr Henry cloud wrote a book called "how to get a date worth keeping"... which may help.

never read it, but I hear it's great. lots of single people love it.

 

[worldwatcher]

Dear wendy please don't feel like its over, my mom just found love at 65. God is good and he knows when the time is right, I will pray that he will send someone special into your life. Chin up girlie I'm sending many hugs x x x x x x x

Good thinking angelwannabe, I was a bad picker too,so I waited on God and wow he sent me an angel.

 

[worldwatcher]

Wendy, have you ever watched the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun"? I just watched it last night, I thought of you....you might want to watch it.
I prayed for you last night. be happy.

 

[boooya]

i don't know if this is good advice.....but try and be attractive. me for instance......i'm working on my body and making sure that i am clean and appealing. that goes a long way. if you allready are attractive just hook up with people and have a good time. good time with good friends and maybe their friends might bring a friend. have your friends hook you up too.

 

[Jenster]

i don't know if this is good advice.....but try and be attractive. me for instance......i'm working on my body and making sure that i am clean and appealing. that goes a long way. if you allready are attractive just hook up with people and have a good time. good time with good friends and maybe their friends might bring a friend. have your friends hook you up too.

Actually, that seems like very good advice to me! I love a clean man. And friends will be more likely to recommend someone they feel is undeniably appealing and open to love.

I have had some friends set me up on blind dates, bless their hearts. Even though the dates didn't result in anything, that was okay with me. At least my friends tried. Some people don't want to risk setting you up if they think you may not be open to it. So a person's attitude goes a long way, imho. (I confess my own attitude hasn't always been as open as it could be, so I know from experience.)

 

[Joy]

I can - to a degree - relate to your loneliness. When I'm feeling lonely, I just start thinking about my high priest Jesus who's been there and done it, experiencing all facets of human misery. Can you imagine the crushing loneliness he felt on the cross? Jesus is not an Ivory Tower High Priest. He's somebody I can identify with, which is more than I can say for Buddha, Muhammad, Confusion, etc. When feeling lonely, go to the cross. QUOTe]

Thank you so much for this great encouragement. I'm 44, single and physically disabled. In the past few I have struggled with temptations like never before and have almost fell. But I Praise God for bringing me back to the Cross and having a new and growing revelation of Jesus dying for me and shedding His blood for my forgiveness.

You all sound lovely here and I want to encourage and support anyone in prayer and I'd be grateful for your prayers and encouragement to keep our eyes on our Risen and ascended Saviour

May God bless you all

Karen

 

[nick garai]

It know how hard it is to be alone. My wife recently left me (about five years ago) and I am forty now. I get discouraged thinking that I will never find someone special to get together with but I have to take some initiative to meet women. Go out to some local arenas and watch some sporting events, the women there may notice you in the bleachers if you go regularly enough. Get involved with a church group that caters to forty-year-olds. Don't get stuck feeling sorry for yourself and end up staying at home alone which just exasperates the problem.

 

[Bridgit]

You're never too old to find love. In the meantime, love others.

 

[JoeFries]

Ya - Me too, helping others helps.

 

[steve bp]

I'll be praying for you I am 47 and realizing similar things and tried for a long time to find some one and wouldn't work I also know how it feels to be married and divorced and that pain is so much worse than just being single. so I have left in the Lord's hands and started doing youth ministry and other things to keep my self busy. I can't say that it doesn't hurt at times but if you jump in to a bad relationship like I did in hopes that I would be the happiest person forever found out I was wrong. I have met several guys that are in the same boat. If I could pray for one thing the Lord would help each of us put him first and help us be totally satisfied with him and then when the Lord brings the right person we won't carry any baggage into the relationship. I hope this makes sense

 

[If Not For Grace]

I had buried my soulmate of 16 years Bf I was 40-..the next relationship turned abusive...Kissed a few frogs...
I was alone despised the "new" dating game-and felt alot like the OP...Cried to God, pretty much made a fool of myself..then picked myself up and moved on..

Went through alot, but will spare you the details to move ahead to age 44 when I met and a yr later married my wonderful husband.. Love is possible in later life, we have been together 10 yrs and look forward to many more. It ain't over--IJS