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feeling disconnected with reality

Discussion in 'Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' started by RobertZ, May 20, 2009.

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  1. RobertZ

    RobertZ New Member

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    Whats up with this feeling? I used to not be this way, I used to feel one with Gods creation but its as if I have somehow been plucked outside of the living world and separated from all of my feelings and emotions.

    Everything seems dead.........This is hard to explain and this is the best way that I know how to put it.

    Is this an indication that the Spirit of the Lord departed from me? Maybe I am right and God really did abandon me to myself because this is exactly the way I would imagine it to feel if his Holy Spirit did cease to strive with a person.
     
  2. annrobert

    annrobert Jesus is my Shelter my Refuge my Fortress

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    Robert,
    I know those type feelings all too well ,I felt disconected,damned and without hope , an empty shell and everything seemed dark,dark dark and my memories of that whole time,seem dark.I thought I had died the second death,even while my empty shell of a body was still walking.I thought Jesus was furious with me and would never have mercy on me again or ever help me again.
    This was all so totally totally wrong,it was all terror and ocd.It was not the truth.
    I was in the palm of Jesus hand being protected by Him the whole time.
    I was decieved and since I thought Jesus was furious with me and always would be for eternity,and I was helpless and hopeless and alone in the world, with the wrath of God on me,naturally my brain could not hold up under all this terror ,so things in the natural were reflecting what was going on in my brain, feeling dead and an empty shell,extreme darkness,disconnected and feeling unreal,this all seemed to confirm my terror,But But Robert I was wrong , I was deceived.
    In truth Jesus had not cast me out,instead He was protecting me.Even my body was not holding up under the weight of it all.But I was wrong, and you are wrong.Jesus was with me .He had not cast me out.
    My flesh was in terror , my brain was in terror,but my spirit was safe.
    My mind had to be renewed.The ocd had deceived me.
    I posted this in another thread for you Robert but I will post it here as well because I really want it to help you,I want you to know that I went through hell, living hell and came out of it and you will too Robert,God is going to bring you out of this.Just keep hold of the tiniest hope that you are wrong,hold onto that hope.The bible says now abideth faith hope and love ,but the greatest of these is love.So hope abides,so keep hoping, and healing will come.
    Robert,
    I know that feeling unforgivable every day is horrible, I think it is the worst thing a person can go through.The feelings seem insurmountable.
    However God can and will heal you from those feelings.
    Even though the feelings made the scripture verses so hard to understand and ocd tried to find reasons why the verses did not apply,yet the verse Jesus said that all that the Father gives to Me will come to Me and He that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out stands true without conditions and will never pass away or become null and void.
    The tormenting feelings are horrible and excruitating I know but they will pass away.
    Also Jesus said all things are possible with God and come to Me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
    Jesus also said He that believeth in Me hath everlasting life, no conditions, and Jesus is Truth, Jesus said I am the Way and the truth and the life.
    Jesus can and will heal your feelings and emotions and your memories and your heart,Jesus makes all things new and Jesus heals the broken hearted and Jesus sets at liberty them who are bruised and Jesus sets the captives free and Jesus promised to give good things to those who ask Him.
    My heart goes out to you Robert ,I suffered with terror and torment for over two years and it nearly totally wiped me out and was ruining and destroying me and I thought I was ruined and destroyed forever, but Jesus is healing me, putting me back together and making all things new.
    I was not halfway in hell and fighting to keep myself out like some people had told me , and which had me so scared becuase I thought I did not have the ability ,or strength ,or faith to keep myself out,nor did I have the abilty to fight this on my own,or to make the terror and suffering end nor to get back up on my own ,nor to restore my own soul, or give myself faith.The truth was Jesus had already died for me and was holding me in the palm of His hand and protecting me the whole time,I was not halfway to hell,I was in the loving hands of Jesus.
    I was holding on to the the teeniest tiniest hope that I was wrong and Jesus would restore me, I would just weep and say Jesus help me,Jesus please heal me,or Jesus please help my unbelief.
    But Jesus was holding me in the palm of His hand all along.
    Jesus takes us under His wings and protects us.
    Jesus restores our soul and heals the broken hearted.
    Jesus never crushes a bruised reed or snuffs out a smoking flax.
    Jesus makes all things new.
    Only Jesus
    Jesus invites all to come and promises rest.
    Jesus will never let you go Robert ,never cast you out,never never never.
    Jesus blessyou
    annrobert
     
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  3. Jesuslovesme29

    Jesuslovesme29 Newbie

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    Feelings is not Faith.

    Feelings are twisted and decieved in many different ways, earthly and Spiritual (warfare).

    Noone as a Christian should ever go by their feelings ever, OCD or not.

    A person will find themselves trapped and decieved very easy.

    Many people go by their feelings, no where in His Inspired Word does He say go by feelings, instead it was clear that we shouldnt.

    Trust in Him not your emotions. Emotions are a part of our hurt and pain many times.
     
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  4. RobertZ

    RobertZ New Member

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    Ok but please explain to me why when I was living in so much sin I did not experience any of this? I wasnt depressed, I didnt feel disconnected...etc.

    Im not saying I was better off because I know that I wasnt but I always thought when someone gets saved things get better not worse.
     
  5. SoldierOfSoul

    SoldierOfSoul Senior Veteran

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    I have a few sriptures on God's forgivness Robert that I think will help you.

    Neh. 9:17 (NKJV)
    They refused to obey,
    And they were not mindful of Your wonders
    That You did among them.
    But they hardened their necks,
    And in their rebellion
    They appointed a leader
    To return to their bondage.
    But You are God,
    Ready to pardon,
    Gracious and merciful,
    Slow to anger,
    Abundant in kindness,
    And did not forsake them.

    Psalm 25:11 (NKJV)
    For Your name's sake, O Lord,
    Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.

    Psalm 130:4 (NKJV)
    But there is forgiveness with You,
    That You may be feared.

    Isaiah 55:7 (NKJV)
    Let the wicked forsake his way,
    And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
    Let him return to the Lord,
    And He will have mercy on him;
    And to our God,
    For He will abundantly pardon.

    Jeremiah 33:8 (NKJV)
    I will cleanse them from all their iniquity by which they have sinned against Me, and I will pardon all their iniquities by which they have sinned and by which they have transgressed against Me.

    Luke 23:34 (NKJV)
    Then Jesus said,"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." And they divided His garments and cast lots.

    Ephes. 1:7 (NKJV)
    In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace

    1 John 1:9 (NKJV)
    If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

    Acts 26:18 (NKJV)
    to open their eyes, in order to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Me.'

    Jesus loves you Robert, He longs to forgive and save you, God be with you Robert.



     
  6. annrobert

    annrobert Jesus is my Shelter my Refuge my Fortress

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    Whether our emotions are strong and healthy and joyful or whether they are tormenting, we put our trust in Jesus who invites us all to come to Him.
    blessings
    annrobert
     
  7. SoldierOfSoul

    SoldierOfSoul Senior Veteran

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    Not exactly, when you come to the Lord the devil is going to do all he can to get you to doubt in the saving power of Jesus, and he will win if you let him tell you what the Bible says. When I came back to the Lord a few months ago, I was a drug addict, addicted to porn, and all kinds of sin, but you know what? God has delivered me from all of it, I'm not saying that I'm not struggling in the battle over sin, we all are! But thank God that our forgiveness is not based on our battle with sin, it is based on the righteousness of Christ that has been imputed on all who believe on Him for salvation!

    James 1:12 "Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him"

    The temptation you are facing now is to disbelieve in the power of Christ to save all who come to Him, do not believe this lie!

    Someone once told me that when the devil tries to throw condemnation my way, just say "smile this is harmless temptation, temptation is attempted deception. The attempted deception is to disbelieve that Jesus died for the sins of the world. And "the sins of the world" must include my every sin. So I will not be tricked. Through Jesus' death, God forgives my every sin.

    The only goal and purpose you have in this life Robert is to be saved by Christ, if you have already asked Christ in you life you are saved, but now you must believe in the power of Christs forgiveness, give no room to the devil, give it all to God, for He will abundantly pardon.
     
  8. annrobert

    annrobert Jesus is my Shelter my Refuge my Fortress

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    Robert,Jesus is protecting you and holding onto you , no matter how horrible or tormenting your feelings or how brokenhearted you are.Jesus is keeping you safe and will continue to keep you safe no matter how painful your feelings are.
    blessings
    annrobert
     
  9. RobertZ

    RobertZ New Member

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    You know thats a keyword, brokenhearted. I did not have a broken heart when I came to christ and perhaps thats why im not healed.

    I dont think you can even get saved or forgiven unless you have a broken and contrite heart. The Bible even says that its a broken contrite heart that Jesus heals.

    Through the decietfullness of sin I hardened my heart to the point of Stone. All the years went by and damage was being done that I didnt even notice until it was too late.
     
  10. SoldierOfSoul

    SoldierOfSoul Senior Veteran

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    Ask Jesus to take that heart of stone out of you and give you a heart of flesh, He said He would do this for all who come to Him. Do not believe those lies from the pit of hell that say you are unforgivable, Jesus said He would save all who came to Him, just give it all to Christ He will not disappoint. Study those scriptures I gave you up above, those are for you Robert.
     
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  11. RobertZ

    RobertZ New Member

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    I have, I asked him to do that when I came for salvation. It makes no sense, its been 6 months and instead of a tender heart I am left feeling utterly and completely emotionless, this is killing me to say this but I cant even feel anything for my wife and that is really killing me.

    Its as though all of my emotions are completely cutt off.


    SoldierofSoul Im sure you would agree that the Holy Spirit has to draw someone first before they can get saved correct? What if I resisted so much that he stopped calling?

    I have been told that this is really what the unpardonable sin is and it makes sense because once the Holy Spirit stops drawing and calling you are cut off! you cant recieve forgiveness and salvation any other way but through the drawing of the Holy Spirit.


    I can ask Jesus to forgive me and save me till im blue in the face but if the Holy Spirit isnt behind it then its of no use.
     
  12. annrobert

    annrobert Jesus is my Shelter my Refuge my Fortress

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    SoldierofSoul is right,Jesus promises to give us a heart of flesh , to everyone who comes to Him.
    Jesus did say a broken and contrite heart He will not despise.
    Yet when Jesus said He came to heal the broken hearted and set at liberty them who are bruised there is no conditions on why or how we became brokenhearted or why we are bruised.
    Jesus said a bruised reed He will not crush and a smoking flax He will not snuff out.Robert look how long it took me before I even began to heal.Jesus was still protecting me through all the years of torment.
    Jesus will never cast you out Robert ,never ever .Sea joy made a breat point when she said in another post ,about the bible saying being still and know that I am God,this is very very hard to those of us with ocd but may help us if we can try to be still sometimes and know that Jesus is God, despite our pain and that he that believeth on Jesus has everlasting life.
    blessings
    annrobert
     
  13. RobertZ

    RobertZ New Member

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    Thats my probem. My heart wasnt broken and contrite when I came to him last November. I was terrified that I was going to get left behind in the rapture, that isnt a broken and contrite heart.

    As I explained I had a broken contrite heart 4yrs ago when I got divorced and I should have stayed on the right path with God and let him heal me. Instead I met another lady, got remarried and turned my back on God as I went right back to my sins that cost me my marriage the first time.

    4yrs later I find my heart is now worse off and as hard as stone and its my fault. Never ever turn your back on God, EVER.
     
  14. SoldierOfSoul

    SoldierOfSoul Senior Veteran

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    Yes, I do believe that the Holy Spirit must initiate the need for salvation in our lives first before we will can be saved, but we do have a part in it as well, we must receive it! I also believe that the Holy Spirit uses many different methods to bring us to the Cross, sometimes He even uses fear, if that is the only thing that will stop us from running from Him, I believe that He will use fear and warnings in the Bible to get our attention and snap us out of the complacent state we are in. Take this scripture for example: "And on some have compassion, making a distinction; But others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh." (Jude 1:22,23)

    Christ is the author of our salvation not us, "and having been perfected He became the Author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him"(Hebrews 5:9) So since He is the Author of our salvation that yearning you have in your heart to be saved must be the Holy Spirit initiating the call to repentance and salvation. Since we can not save ourselves then it is impossible for us to desire salvation without the Father implanting in us the need for His salvation.

    That is why you hear many people say including me that if you still desire to be saved all hope is not yet lost, God is still working on your heart. All of us live in rebellion until we come to Christ, there is no exceptions but when you receive Him as your Saviour, as your propitiation for your sins, that is when the Holy Spirit seals the deal, He is the author and finisher of our faith Robert, the faith we have is not ours it was given to us, God says that He has given us a small measure of faith. Now it is up to you and the Holy Spirit to make your faith bigger, believe in the power of Christ to save you from all sin. He did not die for some sins of the world, but for all the sins of the world and that includes all that you have ever committed or will ever commit but you must believe on Him for salvation, the offer is there all you must do is receive it into your heart. Believe on Him for salvation, do not believe what your feelings are telling you, or that condemning conscious, believe on the Jesus in the Bible and He says all who call upon Him will be saved!
     
  15. annrobert

    annrobert Jesus is my Shelter my Refuge my Fortress

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    Robert,
    maybe you feel numb because to feel the terror of thinking you are abandoned would be to terrible to feel, so supressing it is causing you to feel numb among other distressing feelings.
    Jesus invites ,come to me.
    Jesus says he that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out, therefore if we come to Him we are not cast out and that means we are being drawn by the Holy Spirit even if our terror filled mind and bodies tell us otherwise.
    Jesus said nothing is impossible with God.
    Jesus also said nothing is impossible to Him that believeth.
    Jesus also said , he that believeth on Me hath everlasting life.
    Robert I wonder why I suffered such enormous torment for over two years and I still have much more healing needed.I have a long ways to go to overcome all the confusion and hopelessness.Yet the healing has definately began.
    If these feelings of terror nad darkness etc, were proof that Jesus had left me, why am I beginning to heal now after almost two years?
    Why did it take so long before the terror let up enough for me to begin healing?Why did I suffer despite hours in prayer for months before I noticed a healing beginning,I say noticed because Jesus was holding me the whole time.
    Am I lost because I went through years of terror?
    You are safe Robert, even though you do not feel safe.
    Jesus is with you
    annrobert
     
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  16. annrobert

    annrobert Jesus is my Shelter my Refuge my Fortress

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    Since God can do anything we know that He can give us a soft and contrite heart.When Jesus said He came to heal the broken hearted , He did not say unless.Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and bruised.Jesus came to seek and to save that which is lost.Jesus is love and love hopes all things bears all things believes all things and love never fails.Mercy triumphs over justice.
    God's mercy endureth forever. You have no proof Robert that God's Spirit has left you.You do have proof that Jesus said he that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out.Can you just imagine people when they get to heaven , and Jesus says to them oh ye of little faith , why did you doubt? Did I not say to you ? he that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out and that he that believeth on Me has everlasting life.You had no proof that I left you, but you did have My Word that if you come to Me I will in no wise cast you out and that if you confess your sins I am faithful and just to forgive you your sins and to cleanse you from ALL unrighteousness.You could have trusted Me because I am truth and I said I would not cast you out.
    blessings
    annrobert
     
  17. Caty

    Caty Guest

    Robert the fact that you are on here showing an interest in Jesus is proof enough that the Spirit is in you. Even if someone has the slightest interest in learning about God or anything like that then I believe that God is working w/them. I know it is hard, but try to rest easy you are safe with Jesus.
     
  18. keryakos

    keryakos New Member

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    its youre meds dude and if you are not careful they might kill you
     
  19. RobertZ

    RobertZ New Member

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    Actually I started feeling this way long before I got on the meds.
     
  20. Jesuslovesme29

    Jesuslovesme29 Newbie

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    We should start a poll on how many Christians go through this as they accept Christ. The Lies, the evil thoughts, suggestions they would never have about God or someone else, I find it extremly fascinating how most occur before or shortly after..

    Spiritual Warfare, your feelings are decieved,manipulated and being lied to through many different suggestions.

    What is really sad Robert is that you are letting the enemy win, His goal is to keep us away from Christ. Lies that condemn us make us feel unforgiven and one I KNOW oh so well
    "it is too late for me, I went too far"

    Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
     
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