Facebook is pure poision

[sylverpiano]

One of my professors has talked about how discretion in vocalizing political and religious views used to be a social etiquette. Those with social graces would consider their setting and how the people they're talking with and those within earshot around them might react before launching the contentious topic, and then make a judgement call as to whether it would be likely to create a thoughtful discussion or a heated debate that would accomplish nothing of value. It wasn't about censorship but courtesy.

^^This is what I was taught.^^

He said that we've gone from considering it poorly mannered to continuously air polarizing personal views about politics and religion in social gatherings to feeling like we need to publicize all of them on social media where we're even less able to assess the audience and how they'll react. I don't think Facebook is poison at all. I think that instead of people getting into heated disagreements at pubs they duke it out in comments. It's the same old same old, just with new technology.

I agree. This is not only true for social media, but it is the case in mainstream conversation as well. The really sad part about our society today is that many hold such contempt for those with whom they disagree politically, and have no qualms at all about making almost any conversation a nasty political argument.

 

[twob4me]

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[Sumwear]

Because consent.

well.

http://www.allthingscrimeblog.com/2...n-the-same-states-that-ban-same-sex-marriage/

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articl...behavior with animals-problem-it-s-legal.html

then there is the problem that each country waivers with their age of consent. then that variable of marriage lowers the age of consent.

 

[Hetta]

well.

http://www.allthingscrimeblog.com/2...n-the-same-states-that-ban-same-sex-marriage/

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articl...behavior with animals-problem-it-s-legal.html

then there is the problem that each country waivers with their age of consent. then that variable of marriage lowers the age of consent.

Well surprise me that some states don't care. But you still can't marry anyone or anything without it's consent.

 

[Sumwear]

Well surprise me that some states don't care. But you still can't marry anyone or anything without it's consent.

in time. you already have people doing ceremonious marriages with inanimate things, even themselves, and people leaving their property and wealth to their pets. if states and countries bat a blind eye with regards to sex then marriage doesn't really have a barrier.

 

[Hetta]

in time. you already have people doing ceremonious marriages with inanimate things, even themselves, and people leaving their property and wealth to their pets. if states and countries bat a blind eye with regards to sex then marriage doesn't really have a barrier.

There's nothing wrong with leaving money to your pet. Why is that your business? It's their money to do with whatever they want. Marriage does have a barrier in the law regarding consent. Fantasize all you want, you really won't be able to marry your car.

 

[Sumwear]

There's nothing wrong with leaving money to your pet. Why is that your business? It's their money to do with whatever they want. Marriage does have a barrier in the law regarding consent. Fantasize all you want, you really won't be able to marry your car.

why the snark? actually, it proves my point. material wealth. property can be left over to an animal. also, what's the criteria needed to engage in legal sex? so if the criteria is met with sex, how is it not applicable to marriage?

 

[Hetta]

What is the criteria? LOL. You think that leaving someone money is the same as having sex with them? I can leave money to my kids, to my dog, to whomever or whatever I want. I can leave it all to charity too. I wouldn't need to be married to my kids, my dog or the charity. I wouldn't need to have sex with any of them either.

 

[Sumwear]

What is the criteria? LOL. You think that leaving someone money is the same as having sex with them? I can leave money to my kids, to my dog, to whomever or whatever I want. I can leave it all to charity too. I wouldn't need to be married to my kids, my dog or the charity. I wouldn't need to have sex with any of them either.

we can leave wealth, property to our animals. some places allow sex with animals. you go and say that consent is needed in a marriage. well, here's the point that you missed. in order to engage in legal sex, you need some kind of consent. if places can allow sex with animals, even though it's an impossibility for them to consent, how is marriage now a barrier?

 

[Hetta]

we can leave wealth, property to our animals. some places allow sex with animals. you go and say that consent is needed in a marriage. well, here's the point that you missed. in order to engage in legal sex, you need some kind of consent. if places can allow sex with animals, even though it's an impossibility for them to consent, how is marriage now a barrier?

Because marriage isn't sex and sex isn't marriage.

 

[Sumwear]

Because marriage isn't sex and sex isn't marriage.

both require consent.

 

[WarriorAngel]

Well surprise me that some states don't care. But you still can't marry anyone or anything without it's consent.

Many arent looking to marry someone so young... and many groom the youth [even hetero's believing they can convert them] by acting like a father figure and gaining trust.
One way they do this is by destroying the trust they have in their parents.
I have seen this happen and i know of at least 3 victims of one man who maintained a 'friendship' with his victims into adulthood. Altho they were all hetero. Had he had the chance to marry them [but he wouldnt have because he had a predisposition to taking in as many as he could] he could have persuaded the courts this was what they wanted.
The most susceptible of them was the one who was most abused by his step mom. He had for many years lived as a bisexual - and remained very close to his abuser.
That being said - he was coerced into believing this man would take care of him in his will. This is also true for all his victims - because he did have money. Thus they kept quiet for the most part and stayed his friend and possibly lover into adulthood.
IN the end - after his death - they all loathed him and spoke out about him.
And frankly - even if i tried to get them to forgive him - they refused and i lost one friendship from the man who lived as a bisexual for suggesting such a thing. The hate ran deep in spite of the faux friendship they all maintained.
When he died - [of AIDS which led to his heart attack] he died broke. He was always into drugs which helped placate his victims into being able to accept the abuse. All of them abused drugs and alcohol into adulthood. Loathing and despising themselves for that friendship.
Being he died broke - they spit on his memory.
They all live broken, desperate and painfully lonely lives now...being unable to maintain a normal relationship. One has continued to find hetero relationships with abusive women because being 100% hetero - still unable to accept love - has become bitter and angry in his life and is unable to understand why he continues to find abusers [who took the place of his homosexual groomer] Children become completely brainwashed because they are so young and more susceptible to trusting. Homosexual pedophiles [and they have no real age limits] take painstaking steps to ensure complete trust from their victims before making their move into a sexual intimate situation. It takes them months til the child becomes trusting - which is only done when they destroy the bond to the parents thru manipulations and lies.
All of these mens lives they have become broken and see things only as painful.
BUT none - zero - were happy with what they were dealt as a child.
If you ever want to see despising someone in action - see a victim of a pedophile. They kept his secret til death - you would have believed they were accepting of him - if you didnt know the truth.
They long missed their innocence and wished they knew what it could have been like for them had they never met their abuser.
To get consent - as an example - what if they had been raised by homosexuals - and found this is all they knew - the consent would have been given easily by all outward appearances.
BUT children dont understand the point of marriage - or what it would pertain to on their part. They would never be able to break free from an abuser... so asking a child if they wanted to marry an abuser would be akin to asking a goat.
Children dont understand the mechanisms of relationships - or what all contracts entail.

PLUS being brainwashed - they wouldnt have the 'experience' to understand they were being abused.

 

[WarriorAngel]

And on that subject - being i was friends with these guys - i ran into a clinical mental illness stemming from being molested as a child...
It's called borderline personality disorder and it remains a painful if not suicidal situation for them at least until middle age when things begin to slow down.
There are no drugs to help them - there is psychotherapy - but having a victim remain trusting of their therapist has been a problem with many who incurred this illness.
There is hope tho - with encouragement and consistency.


An individual diagnosed with borderline personality disorder needs to show at least 5 of the following criteria:

• Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior here.)
  
• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
  
• Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
  
• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, Substance Abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior here.)
  
• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
  
• Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
  
• Chronic feelings of emptiness.
  
• Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
  
• transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
• This enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior must deviate markedly from the expectations of the individual's culture.
  
• This enduring pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and social situations.
  
• This enduring pattern leads to clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

This fits all of their personalities.

 

[MikeK]

Many arent looking to marry someone so young... and many groom the youth [even hetero's believing they can convert them] by acting like a father figure and gaining trust.
One way they do this is by destroying the trust they have in their parents.
I have seen this happen and i know of at least 3 victims of one man who maintained a 'friendship' with his victims into adulthood. Altho they were all hetero. Had he had the chance to marry them [but he wouldnt have because he had a predisposition to taking in as many as he could] he could have persuaded the courts this was what they wanted.
The most susceptible of them was the one who was most abused by his step mom. He had for many years lived as a bisexual - and remained very close to his abuser.
That being said - he was coerced into believing this man would take care of him in his will. This is also true for all his victims - because he did have money. Thus they kept quiet for the most part and stayed his friend and possibly lover into adulthood.
IN the end - after his death - they all loathed him and spoke out about him.
And frankly - even if i tried to get them to forgive him - they refused and i lost one friendship from the man who lived as a bisexual for suggesting such a thing. The hate ran deep in spite of the faux friendship they all maintained.
When he died - [of AIDS which led to his heart attack] he died broke. He was always into drugs which helped placate his victims into being able to accept the abuse. All of them abused drugs and alcohol into adulthood. Loathing and despising themselves for that friendship.
Being he died broke - they spit on his memory.
They all live broken, desperate and painfully lonely lives now...being unable to maintain a normal relationship. One has continued to find hetero relationships with abusive women because being 100% hetero - still unable to accept love - has become bitter and angry in his life and is unable to understand why he continues to find abusers [who took the place of his homosexual groomer] Children become completely brainwashed because they are so young and more susceptible to trusting. Homosexual pedophiles [and they have no real age limits] take painstaking steps to ensure complete trust from their victims before making their move into a sexual intimate situation. It takes them months til the child becomes trusting - which is only done when they destroy the bond to the parents thru manipulations and lies.
All of these mens lives they have become broken and see things only as painful.
BUT none - zero - were happy with what they were dealt as a child.
If you ever want to see despising someone in action - see a victim of a pedophile. They kept his secret til death - you would have believed they were accepting of him - if you didnt know the truth.
They long missed their innocence and wished they knew what it could have been like for them had they never met their abuser.
To get consent - as an example - what if they had been raised by homosexuals - and found this is all they knew - the consent would have been given easily by all outward appearances.
BUT children dont understand the point of marriage - or what it would pertain to on their part. They would never be able to break free from an abuser... so asking a child if they wanted to marry an abuser would be akin to asking a goat.
Children dont understand the mechanisms of relationships - or what all contracts entail.

PLUS being brainwashed - they wouldnt have the 'experience' to understand they were being abused.

We have so much work to do when it comes to removing the stigma from being a victim of sexual assault. Children and adults alike grossly under report sexual assault out of shame or fear, empowering the criminal. These people need to understand that no matter what, it is not their fault and no matter what, we as a society will protect them from their attackers. We need to stand ready to help the victims to heal as long as they live. We need to be even more overt from a very young age with children. As early as they start school, they must be taught that their body is their own and that nobody has a right to touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable. They need to know with absolute certainty that our society is willing and able to care for them and help them out of the tragic situation they find themselves in.

 

[WarriorAngel]

We have so much work to do when it comes to removing the stigma from being a victim of sexual assault. Children and adults alike grossly under report sexual assault out of shame or fear, empowering the criminal. These people need to understand that no matter what, it is not their fault and no matter what, we as a society will protect them from their attackers. We need to stand ready to help the victims to heal as long as they live. We need to be even more overt from a very young age with children. As early as they start school, they must be taught that their body is their own and that nobody has a right to touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable. They need to know with absolute certainty that our society is willing and able to care for them and help them out of the tragic situation they find themselves in.

It's amazing how it happens.
Its slow - very slow. Abusers have to groom the person with being suave and kind.
Being i went thru this myself - i gained clarity and lots of it.
Since my break down - i have been looking into mental disorders because they say a break down of my magnitude is a psychotic episode and so i as i always do delved into the subject to see why i lost it.
Mine was a total break down - not the typical.
I was broke down emotionally [my emotions over took me they were so heightened], physically [i couldnt always control the shaking for months even when i tried and eventually it got out of hand] and mentally [my fears led me to a dissociative trauma event].
So looking into this - i discovered borderline personality disorder which comes thru molestation - which wasnt my issue - but it dawned on me regarding my male friends who suffered at the hands of an abuser [molester]
He started grooming them at age 5 - and he destroyed their lives.
But these men were born in the 50's and 60's and only thru seeing the outcome do we understand children need protected from these aggressors. They are not old enough in most instances to comprehend the way abuse starts.

Most women cannot see they are being abused.
I know this for sure - as i blamed myself constantly because before i married him he was Mr Nice guy - and all his friends told me he would take care of me. Still i felt unable to truly know him or love him. I didnt recognize i was raped. ...because society told me he was a nice guy.
So when he changed - i felt it was my fault i wasnt good enough for such a nice guy and even felt i ruined him from being nice because surely i was to blame...
Then the abuse gets worse - and they always make it your fault.

So what happens is - and i read this - the mind's natural occurring chemicals become rewired and or change completely such as the brain and the creation of serotonin stops functioning and the more the victim believes they have no self worth... the more they believe it is their fault. They become depressed and its a vicious cycle the victim cannot understand.
AND they just cant see it.

I am wondering what i can do be an advocate and help women see it.
Its not easy - it really isnt.
I was helping an abused woman get out of her situation - she lives down the road and she said to me [i wont forget] "Why should i get out of it if you put up with the same crap?"
But i felt trapped because i was financially abused. I wasnt allowed money and if i worked he used to make me spend down my money til i was broke - i wasnt allowed to save. I either handed over the money for a bill [altho he made $3- $4000 a month] or i had to buy all the food and kids clothes and soaps etc.
So no matter how hard i tried to save - he found ways to take my money. Leaving me constantly broke even tho he spent untold thousands on himself. He left me to shop for my kids at yard sales - he didnt even care.
He made me feel we were always broke - mean while he had a lot of money saved up somewhere.

Nobody - i dont care who it is - can see the truth of being abused when they are groomed slowly.
Its quite different if they are abusive when you meet them. As i experienced for 6 months prior to meeting him.
But the ones who dont show you are the ones who are truly dangerous.
This goes for pedophiles who know the routine and are very experienced in it.

 

[WarriorAngel]

One other thing - adult men who were abused [and women too who were molested as well] do not understand why they have a hard time controlling their impulsive behaviors and anger.

I think flyers need sent out to everyone on this subject - such as 'Have you been molested as a child?' so ppl can see what happened to them and get help before they live such painful lives.
Because 'knowledge' is power.

 

[MikeK]

That is nothing sort of tragic WA and I regret deeply that you were hurt and had to edure such treatment.

I hope you know how much good you're doing by being willing to talk about your experience openly and being willing to look into the psychological effects of these crimes. Your story will help others to be able to recognize what is happening to them and that it isn't their fault. Further, you're going to heal yourself much more quickly because you know what to expect from yourself and from anyone you might happen to have a relationship with in the future. I'm proud of you.

 

[WarriorAngel]

That is nothing sort of tragic WA and I regret deeply that you were hurt and had to edure such treatment.

I hope you know how much good you're doing by being willing to talk about your experience openly and being willing to look into the psychological effects of these crimes. Your story will help others to be able to recognize what is happening to them and that it isn't their fault. Further, you're going to heal yourself much more quickly because you know what to expect from yourself and from anyone you might happen to have a relationship with in the future. I'm proud of you.

I'm frankly terrified of trusting again.
Although i still love that one person - im not certain if it would go anywhere...if he found someone [etc]
I'm fighting myself from becoming so distrustful.
You may finally come to realize what you have been thru - but you no longer believe you are capable of discerning who would abuse you or not because they come on quite kind and nice at first.

So can we really see it? I dont think so.
But now i'm going to have to rely on intuition only - and that's not concrete when you fear everyone because of your experiences.
Which is why molested children find themselves in such awful relationships all their lives unless or until they see the signs of their own track records.

Seeing is a lot harder than it seems.

But thanks for the encouragement. I have to relearn to trust my judgment.

 

[RileyG]

I forgot that about you Riley. Yes, human bodies are beautiful but you are right to be cautious if that is how it affects you.

Yes, I agree. I do not deny my attractions. They simply just are. I chose to remain celibate since the age of 12.

Thank you, Hetta. God Bless you.

 

[E. Mortimer]

Calling someone's actions evil does NOT make them intrinsically evil. Thanks to the Fall, we ALL sin! We all commit evil acts or thoughts each day whether it is coveting my neighbor's new Dodge Challenger, sneaking a peek at a hot chick at the gym, lying to my boss about sick leave, having thoughts of despair, stealing money, giving a stamp of approval to something immoral to keep friends, looking at inappropriate content, lying to the wife, you name it! Sin IS evil!

But because we are concupiscent we carry the baggage of sin while also carrying the divine spark and original love and yearning for God from the Creation! We Catholics and Orthodox DO NOT believe man is basically bad as do many other denominations. We're not a pile of manure in a wedding dress, but rather basically GOOD with a propensity toward ego and sin.

If two men are orally copulating and having anal intercourse and locking lips, yes, by the metric of Mother Church, the Scriptures, the Fathers, and the Natural Law they are committing an evil act. They are putting themselves in harm's way salvation-wise, warping the use of sexuality, deforming the intention of God, and hurting one another....

When Blessed St. Peter told Jesus that he would help the Lord escape crucifixion and flee His passion fate, Jesus said, "Get thee behind me, Satan!" He told Peter that Satan was using him as a temptation mouthpiece. We ALL can be vessels and ambassadors of things diabolical, even when we're good men like Peter!!

Your posts saying evil-doers can't be good and must be evil oversimplifies the situation and seems to ignore the theology of The Fall?

It is a difficult thing to grow in theosis!! Adam and Eve tried to take the easy route, but salvation doesn't work that way. We were made to walk with God, steadily staying in the great marathon. We stumble and fall. Men with same sex attraction fail just like regular folks. A man who has gay sex, regrets his sin, goes and repents confessing his great sin will probably attain a higher mansion of heaven than I!! Same-sex attraction is a great cross to bear...heavy and painful, difficult to conquer. But there IS victory in the cross!!!

We ARE our brother's keeper as Scripture tells us! We can call out evil behavior because we know what acts are sin. What we MAY NOT do is judge someone's salvation!!!!!

Concupiscence and The Fall are what your posts are neglecting. From your vantage point anyone calling someone's gay sex evil is akin to calling them Hitler. It's the behavior condemned and admonished for the salvation of that sinner, NOT a condemnation of their soul or very essence....

Good response.

However, you failed to note that I very clearly said that I was offering them a reason from a different perspective (that of their friends or at least as best as I can as I do not personally know them). You see, they were baffled as to why this person or these people might be upset with them or unfriend them.

What I pointed out to the OP and WarriorAngel had nothing to do with their beliefs. It had to do with friendship and respecting their friends' opposing beliefs. They were confused as to why their friends would get upset over being condemned for their lifestyles and being told that their actions are evil. I very clearly explained to them why that might be. And then suddenly when they became defensive, it was implied that I was the one being antagonistic and disrespectful when I have been anything but.

If you are told by someone with whom you are friends that you are committing some great evil despite believing in your heart that you are not, can you really sit there and tell me that it would not bother you in the slightest? You admit to sin. Will you also not admit that the opinion of a friend is important to you? Even if only a little?

I never attempted to "correct" anyone or tell them that their beliefs are wrong. I was only trying to explain to them why their friends may get upset when they are told that they are leading an immoral lifestyle.

I will, however, commend you for this response for it is a leveled explanation and the first time you have responded to me in a non-accusatory manner. But as I said earlier, none of my responses ever had anything to do with their beliefs. They are the ones who made my responses about them. If you go back and read my very first post (#53), I believe you will see this to be true.

I only told them how they may be making their friends feel by making such accusations. I cannot help it if they did not like the answer.