Eating Disorders *Trigger Warning*

[PeculiarTreasure]

I honestly don't know if making this thread is the right thing to do but I'm sorda desperate here.

As most of you know I've struggled with my weight pretty much all my life. Recently though I've come to realize it's much more than that. I've had food issues for most of my life. I've pretty much always dealt with emotional eating. (eating for every reason except hunger). I've always hated my body. I've always hated the way I looked. I've always had low self esteem I think mainly stemming from my weight problems.

I started gaining in around the 3rd grade. Recently I started thinking about why I do what I do. Why I eat like I do. I can't come up with anything. Usually in most people's lives something happens that causes the person to do whatever it is. Nothing happened (that I can remember) in the 3rd grade that made me start emotional eating.


I don't really know the point of this thread. I do know that I'm sorda desperate to find help.

I've seeked out help before but for one reason or another none of them worked out.

I know the Lord can help me and break these chains but honestly y'all I have no idea where to begin.

You don't have to post anything in this thread but if you want to if you've dealt/dealing with this I would love to hear your story. I know out of all the people that grace these boards someone has had to be/been there.

 

[Inkachu]

One thing that's really coming to light these days (and thank God for it) is the fact that compulsive overeating has a psychological cause, and is no different than any other dysfunctional behavior or addiction. And it's finally getting the attention it deserves on that level. Instead of just being something that gets dismissed as "oh, those people just have no self control", which has hurt and infuriated those of us who struggle with it our entire lives. Compulsive overeating affects a person psychologically AND physiologically, and is just as much an addictive disease (not saying it's comparable in every way) as others you might name.

Can it be dealt with through hard work, counseling, and lifestyle changes? Absolutely.

Crystal, I hope you realize that you aren't just some poor little girl who can't control what she eats, cause that is OLD NEWS and not true! Most likely, you've had some trauma in your past, even if it wasn't one big event, it could be something that stretched over years of your life, and you've never really thought about it much. But I encourage you to sit down and really think about it. Realizing what's hurt us, what we lacked, what we may have suffered at the hands of an abuser, etc... can shed so much light on WHY we began turning to food for comfort in the first place.

I don't think it's any coincidence that the breakdown of the family, and the escalation of psychological damage in the newer generations (depression, anxiety, violence, addictions), and the explosive rise in obesity, are all occurring together. Very rarely do you see a HAPPY obese person. And they usually aren't unhappy because they're obese; they're obese because they're unhappy.

/soapbox

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Thanks Vicky.

I totally agree with you. It's not a coincidence at all.

I'm kinda scared to lose weight because It will probably turn into yet another type of eating disorder.

 

[Human Clay]

"I don't think it's any coincidence that the breakdown of the family, and the escalation of psychological damage in the newer generations (depression, anxiety, violence, addictions), and the explosive rise in obesity, are all occurring together. Very rarely do you see a HAPPY obese person. And they usually aren't unhappy because they're obese; they're obese because they're unhappy."

Spot on!! Now if the medical community would get this, than people can actually heal. Pretty much any time you see a break down in love in any relationship, than it is a gateway for all these health issues. It does not have to be a particular incident, could be the result of constant rejection, lack of forgiveness, unloving parents, etc. The church does a good job of telling children to honor and obey their parents, but seems to forget that parents are supposed to show their children the way and path to go and raise them in truth, love and meekness.

You have probably carried a pretty heavy load your whole life. You have probably felt that you are responsible for everything, and have no one to turn to. You may even have a lot of tension from trying to be a people pleaser, and go out of your way to make sure others are happy, and like you. It's probably hard to be open and honest with others as you may fear they would reject you.

The most important thing in this world is to receive love. This world is full of broken hearts. Part of healing is coming into a loving relationship with God, others and yourself. I would recommend you read I am Your Father by Mark Stibbe. Your Father longs to walk with you in the cool of the day and have an intimate relationship with you. He even sent His Son to come to this earth to heal the brokenhearted. If your heart heals, than I believe your want for food may not be as strong.

Spend some time in your prayer closet with God. Got to Him in prayer, and pray without ceasing. Ask Him for His Spirit, His knowledge and wisdom, and He will give it to you. I think sometimes we see God as we see our earthly fathers. He is not distant and far away, He longs for a loving relationship. He longs for us to read His word and let the Word (Jesus) to become part of us. There is no greater love.

Learning to forgive is also key. When we forgive others, it may not set them free, but it sets us free. We may have had trials and tribulations, but the peace of the Lord passes all of our understanding. You do not have to figure out what repressed memory might have caused this or whatever else psychology may teach. You have the Spirit of God to help you. I believe you have to know that you can be healed. If you fail, than know that you can get right back up! Matter of fact, you will probably fail. It's not the failure that causes us to fall, it's believing that we cannot get back up. Satan is a liar and will throw all kinds of lies and thoughts into your mind. We can resist these thoughts with Truth, and He will flee.

 

[IreneAdler]

I know this sounds strange, but I suffer from anorexia and I have emotional eating problems and have for probably forever. I would agree that it's a psychological thing and not at all something that can be put off (like people like to) on weakness.

One for me is born out of the need for control and the other out of insecurity and emotional abandonment. Both leave me feeling awful and worthless.

 

[pinkstars86]

I agree that I'm glad compulsive eating is finally coming to light as a real disorder and not just 'oh she's just lazy and undisciplined'. That drives me crazy. It's hardly ever just that. I think eating issues are so common because sometimes it's a legal and socially acceptable form of addiction. Food has been proven to release feelings of happiness and comfort in the brain; not to mention the kind of food we eat is addictive. Sugar is completely addictive and it's hidden in SO much of our food that we can't stop coming back to it. Ok, getting off track here because I have a big soapbox for that topic lol..

I struggled with bulimia for 7 years. I still struggle from time to time and I don't see that ever completely being NOT a part of my life in my mind at least. No I may not act on the behaviors but I still 'romance' if you will about how the b/p made me feel a release and a comfort that I couldn't get from anything else; kinda like how a recovering drug addict will romance about their drug induced hazes. God was not a huge part of my life when I recovered. Oh, except if you count the million times I prayed that I wouldn't die after I purged and my heart would skip beats and I'd feel loopy and weak. I suppose there were a few times where I asked him to please deliver me from it and of course I credit the Lord with doing that, but it was more of a 'please don't let me die' thing than a real giving my problem to the Lord.

My advice would be to try and get to the root of the problem. You sound like you have a lot of self hatred and that has to come from somewhere. Find out where. Try to make peace with that part of yourself. Start loving yourself for who you are, flaws and all. This is so much easier said than done, trust me I know. I've seen you do this here with some threads you've made in this forum where you say we need to accept ourselves for who we are. We are not perfect; no one is. Striving for perfection only leads to failure and disappointment. Which leads to more self hatred which leads back to the issue at hand. Find things that help you to at least feel a bit of that comfort that emotional eating does. Writing, arts/crafts, hobbies, organizing, creative thinking, etc.

Another thing that helped me was meal planning. Instead of just browsing the shelves for something to eat and then end up binging I wrote down what I was going to be eating. I also recorded my caloric intake to see what I was really taking in. Sometimes that can be difficult when you've had a bad day but it kinda pays off in the long run because before a binge you can look at what's happened in the past and how you felt afterwards seeing it on paper and remembering the feelings afterwards. Get your emotions down on paper or an online journal more often. Emotional eating is, surprise! a product of too many emotions that you are trying to cover up. Get them out! No one else has to see what you're writing - just you. Sometimes my online journaling is just a bunch of jibber jabber that only makes sense in my head and looks like a hot mess when I get it out.

I feel your pain and know where you're coming from. I hope that you're able to work through this and overcome - I know you can!

ETA: I don't know you that well but do you exercise regularly? When you are emotionally eating, I assume you are usually depressed or in a bad mood, no? Exercise is proven to release seratonin which is the 'happy stuff' in your brain. Regular exercise is a natural antidepressant. Plus, when you're exercising you're more likely to make better food choices/binge less due to a better mood, which will lead to more confidence.

 

[Oddish]

I have issues with food. I can talk in private about it if any of you in this thread want to discuss it.

 

[Sapphyre]

Very rarely do you see a HAPPY obese person. And they usually aren't unhappy because they're obese; they're obese because they're unhappy.

Interesting insight. I'd never thought of it that way... but considering it now, I do believe you're right.

 

[Inkachu]

Thanks Vicky.

I totally agree with you. It's not a coincidence at all.

I'm kinda scared to lose weight because It will probably turn into yet another type of eating disorder.

No, no, no, don't you DARE start defeating yourself without even trying!

Interesting insight. I'd never thought of it that way... but considering it now, I do believe you're right.

Thanks, lol. It kinda just clicked in my head as I was thinking about it. People think "Oh they were fine before, then they just "got fat" and now they're miserable". Nope. Something was wrong in the beginning, and the weight is the symptom.

I've also been watching the show "Addicted To Food" which follows people at a treatment facility called Shades Of Hope. They have ALL kinds of food-related disorders (bulimia, anorexia, overeating) living and in therapy together, because as the woman in charge of the place says, they all have the same disease, it's just manifesting in different ways.

 

[HazelWings]

One thing that's really coming to light these days (and thank God for it) is the fact that compulsive overeating has a psychological cause, and is no different than any other dysfunctional behavior or addiction. And it's finally getting the attention it deserves on that level. Instead of just being something that gets dismissed as "oh, those people just have no self control", which has hurt and infuriated those of us who struggle with it our entire lives. Compulsive overeating affects a person psychologically AND physiologically, and is just as much an addictive disease (not saying it's comparable in every way) as others you might name.

Can it be dealt with through hard work, counseling, and lifestyle changes? Absolutely.

Crystal, I hope you realize that you aren't just some poor little girl who can't control what she eats, cause that is OLD NEWS and not true! Most likely, you've had some trauma in your past, even if it wasn't one big event, it could be something that stretched over years of your life, and you've never really thought about it much. But I encourage you to sit down and really think about it. Realizing what's hurt us, what we lacked, what we may have suffered at the hands of an abuser, etc... can shed so much light on WHY we began turning to food for comfort in the first place.

I don't think it's any coincidence that the breakdown of the family, and the escalation of psychological damage in the newer generations (depression, anxiety, violence, addictions), and the explosive rise in obesity, are all occurring together. Very rarely do you see a HAPPY obese person. And they usually aren't unhappy because they're obese; they're obese because they're unhappy.

/soapbox

In my family it's also a learned behavior as well as a coping skill. I've seen my mom and my grandma struggle with their weight, and then after my son was dx with autism that was the loaded gun for me. You can overcome it! I've lost just shy of 60 lbs so far and I'm almost to the point where I was before my son was dx. It's a long hard journey, but you can do it if you surround yourself with positive people! My prayers are with you