1. Saying Goodbye to a Great Staffer: Edial
    Please help me wish Edial a wonderful blessed journey as he steps down from CF staff.
    His footprint on our ministry will always remain but his presence will be greatly missed. I'm sure he will come around as a member to all his favorite forums but for now please join me at his profile page to wish him many thanks for the years of service he has brought to us all.
    All of us on CF staff will miss him dearly!!
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice

Welcome to Christian Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
  • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
  • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting after you have posted 20 posts and have received 5 likes.
  • Access to private conversations with other members.

We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

does god bring people into your life for a reason? or is it chance?

Discussion in 'Non-denominational' started by laceyintulsa, Mar 4, 2012.

  1. laceyintulsa

    laceyintulsa Newbie

    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Marital Status:
    In Relationship
    Faith:
    Non-Denominational
    I was recently in a relationship and I believed as well as him that god brought us together...i had prayed for years to meet a man like him...but we clashed on a lot of things....so i wont point the finger at him..or myself.......now since our break up he is questioning whether god really put us on each others path....he says because he met me on a dating site...and not by random out in the world.....that meeting me was his choice...and not from god.....so can god bring people into our lifes? does that mean everyone who comes on our path through life....doesnt have to be a relationship.....are they there by chance....??? im so confused....i am so worried...idk why i had to meet him.....and i dont know what my life plan is....what my purpose is....god knows....but i wish i knew...:confused:
     
  2. Sapphire Dragon

    Sapphire Dragon Truly Loved... as are you.

    Messages:
    1,855
    Likes Received:
    73
    Marital Status:
    Engaged
    Politics:
    US-Green
    Faith:
    Non-Denominational
    :( Sorry to hear that you two broke up... And yes, God puts people into your life for a reason. Every experience you have with every person you meet, on sites or otherwise, is meant to bring you closer to God and bring you more into a relationship with Him. On dating sites you can choose from many, many people to contact. The fact that you signed up for one, actively searched for someone, and contacted your best match was all known beforehand- God knew you two would meet. Personally, I'm not sure if dating sites are the best idea, but this is between you and God.

    You probably had to meet him so that you could understand more about how people come into our lives. Pray to God and ask Him to help you understand more about why this had to happen.
     
    TheProject likes this.
  3. nicedream

    nicedream Senior Veteran

    Messages:
    2,176
    Likes Received:
    59
    Marital Status:
    Private
    Faith:
    Non-Denominational
    i agree with the above...when i look back on my single life, i learned something valuable from every relationship. there are some choices i regret, such as dating people who did not believe. i got hurt, emotionally. but God was able to turn even bad experiences around and make them into something good.

    however, you do sometimes have to let certain people go out of your life, in order to allow them, and you, to meet new people. it doesn't mean the relationship wasn't meaningful or that God cannot use that experience to positively benefit you. "all things work together for the good of those who love Him." :)

    now, God can redeem even a negative experience. but that doesn't mean you should date someone who is a bad influence or actively pursue a sinful relationship because God can "fix it later." sin is destructive, and you should try to avoid it. but if you do sin, God doesn't want you to be stuck in regret and remorse. He wants you to heal, and most of all, grow closer to Him.
     
  4. Sapphire Dragon

    Sapphire Dragon Truly Loved... as are you.

    Messages:
    1,855
    Likes Received:
    73
    Marital Status:
    Engaged
    Politics:
    US-Green
    Faith:
    Non-Denominational
    True, but there can be some times where you are meant to sanctify the other person. I don't mean anything like if they abuse you or are not faithful to you, then you should stay- of course not. I just mean people with issues like addiction, mental problems (non aggressive), and unbelieving. It is most certainly not for everyone, but if you're meant to be with a person, you may be the one God wants to use to help them. I'm also not saying to go into the relationship looking to change them- whether or not they change is between them and God. It's definitely something you should have a conversation with God about if you encounter it. But love can be found in the places you least expect it.
     
  5. TheProject

    TheProject If it lives in water, I don't eat it...

    Messages:
    9,225
    Likes Received:
    261
    Marital Status:
    Married
    Politics:
    US-Others
    Faith:
    Christian
    Very much agreed. Exactly what I was thinking. :thumbsup:
     
  6. nicedream

    nicedream Senior Veteran

    Messages:
    2,176
    Likes Received:
    59
    Marital Status:
    Private
    Faith:
    Non-Denominational
    "I don't mean anything like if they abuse you or are not faithful to you, then you should stay- of course not. I just mean people with issues like addiction, mental problems (non aggressive), and unbelieving."

    addiction and abuse usually go hand in hand...i'm not saying all addicts are abusers, but almost all abusers are addicts. and as someone who used to be attracted to "bad boys" and try to change them, i have to warn you, you're almost always going to get hurt. yes, you might be of some help to them. but you're going to get hurt in the process and that isn't something God wants.

    when i finally decided that there was something sinful or "broken" in my attraction to bad behavior, i was able to settle down and marry someone who truly loves me.

    however, God changed me, and these changes take time...that is why, yes, i agree, God puts people in your life for a time, but they are maybe not the person God wants you to stay with or marry.
     
  7. Andres1986

    Andres1986 Newbie

    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    1
    Marital Status:
    Private
    Faith:
    Christian
    The title you gave this is what brought me. I see you ask based on dating and what I will share has nothing to do dating, but it most defiantly addresses your title.

    I had a talk with someone years ago. He was having problems. To me they seemed simple. From the outside they always do. I talked with this person for weeks on this issue. Then the contact between us seemed to stop. . Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? The questions added up. Life though did not pause for the answers though.

    Years later I talked with this person to find things I said with his own process of thought led him in a direction. The one he took was one that I myself could not do. In fact I do not even talk about it that much… Well lately it comes to mind.

    I had to pause and think of that recently. To talk and invest in a person, to show love. And then for years, remember a shadow. Even wonder if you made a mistake. Only to reconnect and find out you changed this person’s life. This person that has changed so many more people’s life then I could ever do. And to know why we met, to be told by him “you got me over that hump”.

    You see we spent time together, but in the end it was a micro cosmism. It mattered but it didn’t change my life….. Or did it? Is it possible to change someone’s life without changing your own?

    This person served on a mission’s trip in Africa. It was two weeks. He spent 4 ½ years there.
     
  8. Laura Phillips

    Laura Phillips Laura Phillips

    Messages:
    359
    Likes Received:
    1
    Marital Status:
    In Relationship
    Politics:
    US-Green
    Faith:
    Christian
    You can enjoy any kind of intimacy you like with this person, what you are feeling is natural, healthy attraction, and it doesn't have to get sexual. just see where it takes you honoestly
     
  9. Laura Phillips

    Laura Phillips Laura Phillips

    Messages:
    359
    Likes Received:
    1
    Marital Status:
    In Relationship
    Politics:
    US-Green
    Faith:
    Christian
    he could be the one to introduce you to mr right if hes not the one and you know it
     
  10. Sapphire Dragon

    Sapphire Dragon Truly Loved... as are you.

    Messages:
    1,855
    Likes Received:
    73
    Marital Status:
    Engaged
    Politics:
    US-Green
    Faith:
    Non-Denominational
    It also depends on which kind of addiction they are suffering from, from drug addiction to alcohol addiction to material addiction to food addiction... there are many. And yes, trying to change someone is usually going to result in getting hurt- it takes only the kind of person who is willing to live with the problem even if it is not resolved to be able to live with them. Sometimes getting hurt is the only way we can learn... it also gives God a chance to speak to you even more clearly and comfort and guide you when you are lost. Such has been my experience.

    It's true that God brings the people into your life that you can help, and also very true that they may not be people He wants you to marry. But for those that can live with a person that has issues, and truly love them, truly pray for them, and understand that they may stay the same, the relationship can be dynamic and amazing just as so many do turn out to be. It's certainly not for most people, but a true test of acceptance in God's ways for those who can.
     
  11. 7angel

    7angel Regular Member

    Messages:
    1,204
    Likes Received:
    22
    Faith:
    Christian
    God asks us to follow his teachings written in the Gospel - then we must decide, by the road we will find good and bad - that's when we apply what we learned - think about the decisions that we shall take - is essential

    Otherwise we act in blindness

    The truth will set you free
     
  12. Laura Phillips

    Laura Phillips Laura Phillips

    Messages:
    359
    Likes Received:
    1
    Marital Status:
    In Relationship
    Politics:
    US-Green
    Faith:
    Christian
    be courageous
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  13. Darth Bagel

    Darth Bagel ๏_๏

    Messages:
    16,115
    Likes Received:
    1,090
    Gender:
    Male
    Marital Status:
    Single
    Faith:
    Presbyterian
    A few years ago I dated a girl that—while we were dating—I thought God had brought us together. We didn't date long, and then broke up. I started questioning whether or not God had brought us together because I had begun to regret dating her and feeling like it was a mistake. Fast-forward nearly four years later and now I'm married, and over the last couple of years I've had two friends who went through the exact same scenario I did. Their ex's treated them the exact same way, their relationships went down the exact same road and ended nearly identically.

    It was in those moments that I saw why God took me down that road: to be able to relate to my friends, to tell them (honestly) that I understood how they felt and they knew it was true.

    I know this may sound hollow and perhaps even a bit cynical, because your relationship not working out is unfortunate and it hurts, but this is something God can and likely will use in the future to help someone else and possibly yourself in the process, ya know?

    It's never fun to work through this stuff and I'm sorry that you have to, but it will all work out for the good (my paraphrase of Rom. 8:28).
     
  14. tackattack

    tackattack Non-Denominational Church of God, Anderson

    Messages:
    490
    Likes Received:
    11
    Marital Status:
    Married
    Faith:
    Non-Denominational
    I believe everyone in your life is there exhort/uplift/prophesy to you, is a challgenge for you to build your faith patience or knowledge, or has a need to be closer to God that you have the gifts/talents to help get closer towards God. That's been my experience, but I'm a little introverted, picky about friends, and don't really do small talk.
     
  15. All4HISglory

    All4HISglory Guest

    I personally don't believe that things happen by chance.

    I also don't believe that every single person in our lives, God directed them to us. But I do believe that God uses every situation and individual for our good, even if it doesn't seem good. He may not orchestrate it but I believe that He allows it. Does that make sense?

    There are many lessons, character building and strengthening in Christ, that is done through relationships and situations. Even those that don't end in marriage.

    I have learned to look at the message and lesson in it and glean the good from it so that I don't 1. Repeat the same thing over and over again. 2. Grow in that area to become the person that God created me to.

    In your situation, it doesn't mean that God didn't bring you two together. But perhaps He brought you together for a season and a specific purpose. Maybe that season is over, maybe it isn't. The best thing is to seek God and get some clarity as to what He wants you to take from this situation.

    ~For Your glory Lord {iPad}
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 13, 2012
Loading...