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Do you also spank on the bare bottom?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Beccysmommy, May 2, 2006.

  1. lw49033

    lw49033 Guest

    Proverbs 23:13-14 couldn't be more clear. Obviously every reference to a rod does not involve hitting, but that one does!
     
  2. lw49033

    lw49033 Guest

    It's not supposed to feel like a trip to Disneyland, it's a punishment! I was spanked that way and believe me, I made my mind up to behave better because of it!
     
  3. katautumn

    katautumn Wandering, not lost.

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    The shebet, or rod, was the staff a shepherd used to keep his flock together. Sheep are very skittish animals. If the shepherd had used the shebet to strike the sheep, rather than gently move them back into the herd, the sheep would have run off, or possibly died. Shepherds were known for their gentle demeanor, as that would be necessary for the sheep to trust them.

    I'm sorry you endured such abuse as a child. We should never be obedient out of fear of being humiliated and have physical violence used against us. That isn't how God treats us, so why should we treat others that way? Physical pain serves no purpose other than for one person who is bigger to exact control and instill fear in someone smaller. I believe when that occurs between two children we call it bullying. For some reason, however, bullying is okay when it occurs in the parent/child dynamic.

    Please check out the websites below. They really helped me to understand just how damaging physical punishment can be, and why there are far more beneficial "tools" that can be implemented that make both the parents and children feel better about discipline.

    Arms of Love Family Fellowship
    Why Not Train a Child
     
  4. akmom

    akmom Newbie

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    Lw49033,

    You mentioned Proverbs 23:13-14 as a biblical endorsement of striking a child with a rod. (Below is the NIV translation.)

    I think you have to look at the context. I feel like Proverbs 23 is about how serious sin is, and how we should do whatever it takes to avoid it. I don't think it's intended to be a how-to guide.

    Look at verses 1-3.

    If someone came on this forum struggling with compulsive eating, would anyone suggest the poster should slit his throat to put an end to the problem? Would you use that one verse to tell him that is the biblical answer to his problem? Of course not. It's not practical advice. I believe it is just Solomon's way of saying that even something as dire as slitting your own throat is better than the sin of gluttony. Likewise, striking your child with a rod (which probably won't kill him) is better than letting him succumb to sin (many of which will kill him).

    I don't know if "punish them with the rod" translates to "literally beat them with a rod" or "guide them with a rod" (as a shepherd would), but I do think that Solomon was referring to the importance of discipline more than the method. I don't think we should take that singular verse to mean that the Bible tells us to use corporal punishment specifically. Other references to the rod (Psalm 23) and raising children (Ephesians 6) suggest otherwise.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2013
  5. CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN

    CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN ..

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    I have family members that were spanked. I just made them more sneaking, so they wouldn't get caught.
     
  6. katautumn

    katautumn Wandering, not lost.

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    Exactly. I also find it interesting when people try and justify spanking by emphatically proclaiming, "I was spanked and I turned out alright!" Statistically speaking, most people were spanked at some point as children and most people turn out "alright" in the sense that they aren't jailbird sociopaths. With that said, there are adults who turned out alright in spite of being horribly abused as children. If an adult says, "hey, I was molested repeatedly by a relative as a child and my parents didn't do anything about it, and I turned out alright", we don't hold their childhood up as something to aspire to with our own children! Someone being able to pass as a normal, functioning adult isn't the only way to determine if their parents' choice of disciplinary methods was beneficial.
     
  7. CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN

    CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN ..

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    Yes. I had a horrible childhood and turn out fine.
     
  8. beaverpond

    beaverpond Member

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    While growing we as kids were subjected to spankings, can't say what my brother and sister do with their kids. I can say that over the last 10 years, I think we have only spanked our daughters maybe twice each. It was not done in anger and to be sure of this we sent them to their room, never removed any clothes, and used an open hand, but never hit hard enough to leave a mark physically only as a memory. After those times, it became being grounded and taking things away. Not everybody would agree with this, but I can also say that all the teachers at school say my daughters are very respectful and wish they could teach others to be more like them.

    I believe that if you set the example with your kids, you may have fewer problems.
     
  9. Ministrymama

    Ministrymama Newbie

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    We spanked both our kids when they were young, it was done rarely and only after a discussion as to why and what to expect. I don't have a problem with corporal punishment as a tool in the arsenal of parenting techniques but I do think it is sometimes used to much and without thought or in anger.

    LOL I will say that when my son was 16 and acting like a smart alec, know it all, unbearable brat, and lied to his dad and I, my husband had had enough and actually spanked his butt! My DS was mortified and we all laughed about it later, but DS said in a way it reminded him that we still loved him and cared about his actions when he was acting out.
     
  10. beaverpond

    beaverpond Member

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    I remember the days when my sister and I were at our worst for behavior my mother would threaten us with "you wait until your father comes home". We knew this was an empty threat because this is the father that did not get home from work until 2am and sometimes 3am. Like he is really going to haul us out of bed and give us the beating that we so rightfully deserved hours earlier.

    Then it happened. One night he came home at 2am it was a Saturday morning at this point and my sister and I were dragged out of bed. We both were scared out of our minds because he grabbed us one by one by the back of our PJs and dragged us down the stairs and threw us on the couch and yelled at us until he was blue in the face. Thinking back on it that was far worse than any spanking could have been because he did something he had never done before and it scared the living daylights out of us. It was a rude awakening for us because it told us that if he would do it once, he would do it again...not that he ever did and our attitudes did change for awhile.
     
  11. CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN

    CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN ..

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    Nobody ever deserve a beating, But this is the reason some kids were terrified of their fathers. Some people ended up hatting their fathers because they would get this spanking or beat down.
     
  12. beaverpond

    beaverpond Member

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    We never were really afraid of our father...it is hard to be afraid of somebody who is only seen on weekends by his kids and even then his kids are treated like manual labor. I remember my weekends as going out with my sister and brother and clearing wood lots for people and keeping the trees we wanted and hauling these trees back to our house. My Dad would cut them to stove length at the wood lot and we would split them if necessary at home. We did go on month long camping trips during the summer, this is something I truly enjoyed. It was a blast.
     
  13. ciaomamma

    ciaomamma Newbie

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    I haven't read all the replies but I read OP's original message and honestly I'm shocked anyone would smack a bared bottomed child! I see it as a abuse, borderline sexual abuse. I was smacked as a child and I don't have a stance on smacking, I think it depends on the child and on the situation but I would urge OP to rethink your smacking procedure, there's no need for the child to be bare bottom... not trying to make you feel bad just felt I had to voice my concern.
     
  14. CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN

    CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN ..

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    I'm noticed Beckys, the daughter is 8 years older. Since OP's original question was 8 years ago.
     
  15. ciaomamma

    ciaomamma Newbie

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    Oh wow! lol where did this get dug up from?
     
  16. hedrick

    hedrick Senior Veteran CF Ambassador

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    Postings have a date in the upper left. The initial posting is from 2006. A child who was old enough to spank in 2006 would now be old enough that most parents would no longer do so, and certainly not with a bare bottom. Of course parents differ a lot. It seems to be based on what they experienced as kids, and also regional culture. I do actually know a teenager (from the South, not surprisingly) who was regularly spanked bare-bottom at 16.

    The discussions on spanking here seem to me to be more black and white than they should be. The point isn’t the spanking turns kids instantly into unfeeling monsters. Plenty of fine adults were punished in ways that would be considered abusive today. Rather, most experts feel that there are better ways to help them learn to manage their behavior, and it does cause bad effects in enough cases to be a concern.

    I’ve often thought that the emphasis should be on helping parents develop effective discipline, rather than telling them not to spank. I’ve read a couple of the studies on spanking, and in the narrative the description of typical behavior by parents who spank is pretty unsettling. I can’t help thinking that if those parents were somehow stopped from spanking, they probably wouldn’t know how to use any other kind of discipline.

    Now and then very old threads get revived, often by new members who see a posting and don't look at the date. Some of us refer to threads that are revived after a few years of being dead as zombie threads.

    You can also look at the profile for the user who initially asked the question. Often you'll find that they haven't logged in for years. In this case the original poster last logged in November 2012. She probably won't see any answers.
     
  17. Inkachu

    Inkachu Bursting with fruit flavor!

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    Old thread is old!

    For the sake of the discussion - I've never spanked my son. He is now 13. I think he may have gotten a handful of quick swats on the seat of his pants when he was very little, but I could probably count those on one hand.

    I was spanked as a kid. A lot. It was such a horrible experience (humiliating, heart-breaking) that I determined I would never use it on my own children if I could help it. I'm glad to say I've been able to keep that promise to myself.
     
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