DIVORCE in the body of Christ

[berean77]

The Scriptures are very plain when it comes to divorce. If you have two born again believers in a marriage, the ONLY REASON FOR DIVORCE IS FORNICATION (note: there are so many scenarios such as one spouse is saved, the other is not; one spouse marries his/her relative; one spouse is saved and his/her spouse leaves the marriage; physical abuse marriages; homosexuality; lesbianism; these and more scenarios are very delicate situations and must be Scriptually researched for they are all addressed in Scripture... but for the purpose of this post, I am only talking about a marriage where both husband and wife are believers).

First of all we have to understand that God made a covenant with Israel in the Old Testament. This covenant was broken so many times, but the one thing Israel did that caused God to give her a bill of divorce was spiritual fornication. No matter how many times Israel provoked God, spat in his face, complained, murmured, etc. it was not grounds for divorce. But once Israel lusted after false gods and began to sacrifice their children to false gods and were completely given over to abominations like that, then God had reason for divorce and he divorced them.

The same must apply to us. The New Testament teaching of Christ is plain: FORNICATION is the ONLY reason for divorce.

Some people may say Moses allowed otherwise. My comment about that is that regardless of what Moses told the people, the people were going to divorce anyway. Jesus attributed righteousness to Moses saying it was not his fault that the people divorced, or that Moses was preaching/teaching something contrary to God's perfect will... Jesus simply said that it was the "hardness of the people's heart" that Moses gave them the right to divorce. Jesus did not impute sin unto Moses for allowed the people to divorce. If Jesus did not mention one negative thing regarding Moses in light of marriage, why should we? Jesus made it very clear: FORNICATION is the only reason for divorce.

Note: As mentioned before, there are other scenarios in regard to marriage that have not been addressed in my response. I am only talking about a marriage where both husband and wife are believers.

 

[mrhappy3]

Good post.Makes sense.

 

[ProScribe]

I think you may marry 2 times but after the final 2nd divorce you may not re-marry.

Something like that.

 

[Alive_Again]

You wish going into marriage that it would be well understood what it means to go on with God no matter what happens. This includes offences and setbacks.

They say if you want to change another person to start with yourself. If you've done everything you know to do to facilitate a good home life and you are not controlling and overly authoritative, not too passive, and do not consign yourself to life in front of the TV, asked your wife to forgive you of your faults, and put her needs before yours (after submitting to God), etc. Praying in the spirit for your wife, speaking blessing and not cursing (sometimes the obvious and honest assessment), "rendering due benevolence" as the scripture says to do. You can always pray together to receive and ensure that you both have the same Heavenly vision for your lives. Kick the devil out of your home either way.

Sometimes it was never God's intent for even certain believers to be joined together. Often one person is denied the satisfaction of their own ministry. Sometimes lives are shortened when you take the wrong turn and get out of His plan. Only God can say. God has called us to peace. I would commit my soul to Him on the matter and just be willing to do what He asks.

I would say short of fornication as the cause of this divorce, I would be careful about getting into another marriage. Let God put your life back together and not let any loneliness dictate your need to remarry.

It is a covenant promise for you to have the mind of Christ in your life. Be encouraged that He will do that for you and that a life of peace and joy are yours for standing with Him. Rejoice during your trials (it's contrary to what you may feel, but shows your faith) and bless your house, committing to love with all your heart for the rest of your days.

 

[mrhappy3]

that's the idea

 

[now faith]

If we look back at the law. We wonder why men took multiple wives. I wonder what concubines were for. I believe a lot of our views on morality today came when Constantine formed the church in Rome. Moses put away a wife and took another. God afflicted Aaron's wife for criticizing him. Bottom line god knows our hearts and our intent he is the judge of our lives. Through his blood our sins are forgiven. Has any one attempted to check the Greek or Hebrew translations for fornication. One meaning in the Greek word inappropriate contentio can also mean idolatry .

 

[mrhappy3]

No, divorce isn't forbidden, but this is a well documented argument that tends to get fairly emotional. May I suggest a site, www.divorcehope.com- that has a lot of great resources.

Hi there,

Thanks for advising me, I got the BOOK on divorce and read it.

Basically when we replace the word DIVORCE with seperation we get a whole new slant on things.

I found it enlightening, but am struggling to answer 3 questions.

1) In Matthew 19 - the Pharisees ask Jesus why did Moses issue a certificate of divorce AND to release and separate from her.

I get the first bit, but I do not see anywhere where Moses allowed for separation to take place without a bill of divorcement ?

It is not mentioned in Deaut 24 1-4. on page 150 at the bottom Stephen Gola the author makes this point by Jesus, with Jesus saying MOSES because of your hardness of heart permitted to release and separate. If that is what Jesus is referring to, where is it found.?

2) Why would the disciples question Jesus on his teaching in the same Chapter Matthew 19 - if it was simply about supplying a bill of divorcement ? That does not seem a big deal as they are making out ?

3) Can Matthew 5v31/32 be addressed, as it is not brought out in the book. It would seem Jesus is against the whole idea of separation or divorce full stop (this one has stumped me).


Apart from the above - the book reads well and is common sense all round.

God certainly endorsed divorce back in the day, even seperation for those who married outside the fold (see Ezra). I suppose that grace has been extended to us, if we indeed marry unbelievers. But one thing is clear, if I am not mistaken. God would sooner us be happy and whole than stay in a marriage that is destroying us. This includes marriage between believers.I am not denying this is one of the harder doctrines to un-ravel.

 

[HIM_In_Me_In_HIM]

If we look back at the law. Carefull, dont go to MJ "room" talking law. it'll stir up a shark frenzy.
We wonder why men took multiple wives. I wonder what concubines were for. For many reasons. Wives were "baby machines" to men of old and a both mother & child were symbols of wealth in the eyes of family & foriegner alike. conchs were either sex slaves where men could do to them what they wouldnt/couldnt do to their wives (ouch?!) or just outright work-slaves for the Man
and his "Queen(s)" (simplified i know but, succinctly true tho')
I believe a lot of our views on morality today came when Constantine formed the church in Rome. Moses put away a wife and took another. Ummm, where's this from...refresh my memory pls? God afflicted Aaron's wife for criticizing him Again, refresh please?. Bottom line GOD a capitalized "G" at least pls! knows our hearts and our intent HE is the judge of our lives. Through His blood our sins are forgiven. Has any one attempted to check the Greek or Hebrew translations for fornication. One meaning in the Greek word inappropriate contentio can also mean idolatry u must quote specifically which scripture in order for accuracy in chking greek or hebrew....tks!

Shalom.

 

[HIM_In_Me_In_HIM]

Well the latest figures still suggest 50% of Christian's are getting divorced, and it hits 66% of those that are separated with no reconciliation in sight. That seems massive.

Going through this situation myself,it does seem strange that we who have the Spirit are apparently no better off than those in the world.

In my case, even though I am willing to have further counselling etc, my wife has dug her heels in and unfortunately, refuses to.

How long this goes on for only God knows.

Life has to go on , and we are getting no younger.

So is DIVORCE really forbidden in scripture, or does the Lord really understand and accept in some cases, people are treading water and ALLOWS for it.

I suppose we can walk in Agape, and deny ourselves, but it ain't much fun, and that's reality, when your miserable.

Cheers

Its been revealed to me [lesson(s) still in session(s) tho' & ]
that man's idea of marriage/weddings/covenants aren't necessarily what God had in mind in the garden of Eden.

The serpent really did a monkey-wrench job of stopping
(stalling, really) God's initial plans from running smoothly as planned (or so serpent thought). From the serpents mind to his tongue to Eve's "ears" or "hearing/understanding" and then on down to her "womb" did "he" transgress, eventually infecting/affecting Ha'Adam (thru Eve? thru homosex? God only knows ) In short, Cain was not Adams "seed". (But...thats
another thread)

Theres a whole lotta prophetic symbolisim taking place in the
creation of Eve. A lot of details only H>S> can clue u in on and convince u (key!) of the truth/facts as well, not me. HIS job that only HE, Ruach Ha'Kodesh, can do as perfectly as He does.

IT is no accident that Jesus makes mention of men's weddings in the last days, as well as referring to spiritual acct of making "them M & F, made He them.." Is H>S> speaking to u yet in these matters or have u already heard but rejected them?"

Marriage is a learning experience to put it mildly. All its lessons
are NOT grand, up to & including divorce. The MJ's dont like to discuss or admit as much but, they too were "divorced" over n over from God, mostly by their own choices/actions but also God seemed angry enough to do likewise unto them as a consequence but not as a "forever" thing. (are they still in a divorce limbo today? dunno as its too complicated to say
especially as pertains to acceptance of Yeshua as Ha'Meshiach...but again, its NOT "forever" even if so, presently)

Main thing to learn/understand is this: We have been "divorced" from a full rel'shp with ABBA based on the fall that took place in Eden. Full meaning = powers, rights, privileges, knowledge, health-healings, total peace n prosperity, etc etc.

When accepting Yeshua as our savior, our Spirits are quickened and seated with Him on the right hand of ABBA. This marriage is rock solid (is my understanding) based upon the righteous work Yeshua did upto and after the cross with His ressurection as "proof" of ABBA's acceptance of His only begotten Son's sacrifice. IT would seem that His work continues upto & including yer last breath on this earth.

Praise be to God and HIS Lamb who is MORE than WORTHY to be Praised!!!

It cannot be said enuff that before "our" marriages, during them, and after them (be it death or divorce) "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all else shall be added unto you" rings truer & truer the more u live, and the more u learn about God, who is Love in its best (& only?) form we'll ever, ever, know.

Selah.

 

[HIM_In_Me_In_HIM]

....I am presently experiencing a situation where my christian husband of 41 years has decided unilaterally to leave the relationship. We are getting counselling but I think he is only trying to justify himself not actually see the relationship restored. Would appreciate prayer by the way. GG

________________________________________


I know u are spiritual GG so, just reminding u.....when u've done/battled all u can do/battle, and the fight still rages on, take a pause reflect & say ''hey this work/battle is The Lords' (& His victory is already won/done!)!" then...u shall rest in His Shalom.

Shalom aleichem GG, Shalom Elohim.

 

[mrhappy3]

Hi there,

Thanks for advising me, I got the BOOK on divorce and read it.

Basically when we replace the word DIVORCE with seperation we get a whole new slant on things.

I found it enlightening, but am struggling to answer 3 questions.

1) In Matthew 19 - the Pharisees ask Jesus why did Moses issue a certificate of divorce AND to release and separate from her.

I get the first bit, but I do not see anywhere where Moses allowed for separation to take place without a bill of divorcement ?

It is not mentioned in Deaut 24 1-4. on page 150 at the bottom Stephen Gola the author makes this point by Jesus, with Jesus saying MOSES because of your hardness of heart permitted to release and separate. If that is what Jesus is referring to, where is it found.?

2) Why would the disciples question Jesus on his teaching in the same Chapter Matthew 19 - if it was simply about supplying a bill of divorcement ? That does not seem a big deal as they are making out ?

3) Can Matthew 5v31/32 be addressed, as it is not brought out in the book. It would seem Jesus is against the whole idea of separation or divorce full stop (this one has stumped me).


Apart from the above - the book reads well and is common sense all round.

God certainly endorsed divorce back in the day, even seperation for those who married outside the fold (see Ezra). I suppose that grace has been extended to us, if we indeed marry unbelievers. But one thing is clear, if I am not mistaken. God would sooner us be happy and whole than stay in a marriage that is destroying us. This includes marriage between believers.I am not denying this is one of the harder doctrines to un-ravel.

 

[mrhappy3]

Hi there,

Thanks for advising me, I got the BOOK on divorce and read it.

Basically when we replace the word DIVORCE with seperation we get a whole new slant on things.

I found it enlightening, but am struggling to answer 3 questions.

1) In Matthew 19 - the Pharisees ask Jesus why did Moses issue a certificate of divorce AND to release and separate from her.

I get the first bit, but I do not see anywhere where Moses allowed for separation to take place without a bill of divorcement ?

It is not mentioned in Deaut 24 1-4. on page 150 at the bottom Stephen Gola the author makes this point by Jesus, with Jesus saying MOSES because of your hardness of heart permitted to release and separate. If that is what Jesus is referring to, where is it found.?

2) Why would the disciples question Jesus on his teaching in the same Chapter Matthew 19 - if it was simply about supplying a bill of divorcement ? That does not seem a big deal as they are making out ?

3) Can Matthew 5v31/32 be addressed, as it is not brought out in the book. It would seem Jesus is against the whole idea of separation or divorce full stop (this one has stumped me).


Apart from the above - the book reads well and is common sense all round.

God certainly endorsed divorce back in the day, even seperation for those who married outside the fold (see Ezra). I suppose that grace has been extended to us, if we indeed marry unbelievers. But one thing is clear, if I am not mistaken. God would sooner us be happy and whole than stay in a marriage that is destroying us. This includes marriage between believers.I am not denying this is one of the harder doctrines to un-ravel.

 

[mrhappy3]

OK I give up - I have been a berean, but can't come to a definite conclusion on this, unless anyone can answer the above.

Shalom !

 

[HIM_In_Me_In_HIM]

we are inundated with posts here, both in CF total, as well as here/above yers.

pls be specific with yer question(s) but not too overwhelmingly bombastic.

i.e. the k.i.s.s. rule always applies best, & should be approach most often used....dont u agree?

 

[Svt4Him]

1) In Matthew 19 - the Pharisees ask Jesus why did Moses issue a certificate of divorce AND to release and separate from her.

I get the first bit, but I do not see anywhere where Moses allowed for separation to take place without a bill of divorcement ?

It is not mentioned in Deaut 24 1-4. on page 150 at the bottom Stephen Gola the author makes this point by Jesus, with Jesus saying MOSES because of your hardness of heart permitted to release and separate. If that is what Jesus is referring to, where is it found.?

Sorry, don't know what the question is here.

And there came unto him Pharisees, trying him, and saying, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

4 And he answered and said, Have ye not read, that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?
6 So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why then did Moses command to give a bill of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses for your hardness of heart suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it hath not been so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery.

They asked him why it was commanded to put away and divorce, Deut 24 talks about all steps that were required. So again I don't know what the issue is.

2) Why would the disciples question Jesus on his teaching in the same Chapter Matthew 19 - if it was simply about supplying a bill of divorcement ? That does not seem a big deal as they are making out ?

Marriage, putting away, following God are all big deals. Paul said that if he had it his way, no man would marry since you then can focus on God totally, but for most of us, that's not a path we want to choose.

3) Can Matthew 5v31/32 be addressed, as it is not brought out in the book. It would seem Jesus is against the whole idea of separation or divorce full stop (this one has stumped me).

It was said also, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 but I say unto you, that every one that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery.

A put away woman was not divorced, therefore if she got remarried, she was in adultery. Fornication made the mariage void, therefore a bill of divorce was not needed. Similar to if you marry your sister, you don't need to divorce her, the marriage is not legal therefore it's void.

 

[mrhappy3]

OK thanks gang, maybe I was over egging it.

I'll keep it to two things then.

Either DIVORCE mean't DIVORCE (as we know it) or it mean't SEPERATION, as in the putting away that is mentioned.

either way, a Bill of divorcement is REQUIRED.

I'll leave it at that.

Thanks again !

 

[Svt4Him]

That is true, unless it was voided (adultery). The reason it was required was it allowed the woman to move on. Jewish women are being put away today and not divorced, which is a horrible place for them.

 

[now faith]

The timing of Moses' marriage to the Ethiopian woman can be determined by Numbers 33:1-49,17 and 11:35 with 12:16 which "surrounds" the story about Moses marrying the Ethiopian woman in Numbers 12:1-15. This is clearly much later than the time when Moses married Zipporah in Exodus 2:15,22. I realize my approach is pragmatic but used to illustrate a point. I stand corrected on it was arrons sister that was afflicted. You will find that the women that were with Moses came from different family trees. Thank you him in him for the help

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

We have to look at the context of Jesus' instructions about divorce. If you look carefully at the context, you will see that Jesus brought up the subject only because the Pharisees asked Him about it. He would not have mentioned it at all otherwise. So, His comments about divorce were directed at the Pharisees and no one else.

What we have to remember is that we are saved by grace through faith. It is the gift of God. All who have accepted Christ know that.

But what some don't accept is that continuance in the Christian life after conversion is also by grace and that holiness is a gift of God. It is the endowment of the righteousness of Christ on a believer. All a believer then has to do is to rest in and depend on Christ.

Divorce is a great topic for "performance-based" religious people to bandy around. They cannot believe that a divorced and remarried person can be a successful Christian.

In reality, Jesus doesn't care about it. He is quite capable to causing believers to live successful Christian lives. He does not need the assistance of judgmental, performance-based leaders and disciplers to legislate what they believe is right or wrong for a Christian to do or not to do.

Basing Christian living on personal performance leads to independence from Christ and self righteousness. Would it be possible to Christians to strive all their lives to be the best Christians they can through their own self efforts and end up going to Hell? What a tragedy; to be a church goer all their lives and not make it because they forgot that Christian living is just as based on grace as the work of salvation is.

So, in my opinion, a divorced/remarried Christian is no better or worse than one who isn't. But a Christian who is totally dependent on Christ and who knows that he is who he is by God's grace alone, is much better off than one who is more concerned about his own performance than his trust in Christ.

The worse off of all is the religious person who thinks he is superior to all and who is judgmental in his approach to those whom he thinks falls below his standard of "spirituality".

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

The Scriptures are very plain when it comes to divorce. If you have two born again believers in a marriage, the ONLY REASON FOR DIVORCE IS FORNICATION (note: there are so many scenarios such as one spouse is saved, the other is not; one spouse marries his/her relative; one spouse is saved and his/her spouse leaves the marriage; physical abuse marriages; homosexuality; lesbianism; these and more scenarios are very delicate situations and must be Scriptually researched for they are all addressed in Scripture... but for the purpose of this post, I am only talking about a marriage where both husband and wife are believers).

First of all we have to understand that God made a covenant with Israel in the Old Testament. This covenant was broken so many times, but the one thing Israel did that caused God to give her a bill of divorce was spiritual fornication. No matter how many times Israel provoked God, spat in his face, complained, murmured, etc. it was not grounds for divorce. But once Israel lusted after false gods and began to sacrifice their children to false gods and were completely given over to abominations like that, then God had reason for divorce and he divorced them.

The same must apply to us. The New Testament teaching of Christ is plain: FORNICATION is the ONLY reason for divorce.

Some people may say Moses allowed otherwise. My comment about that is that regardless of what Moses told the people, the people were going to divorce anyway. Jesus attributed righteousness to Moses saying it was not his fault that the people divorced, or that Moses was preaching/teaching something contrary to God's perfect will... Jesus simply said that it was the "hardness of the people's heart" that Moses gave them the right to divorce. Jesus did not impute sin unto Moses for allowed the people to divorce. If Jesus did not mention one negative thing regarding Moses in light of marriage, why should we? Jesus made it very clear: FORNICATION is the only reason for divorce.

Note: As mentioned before, there are other scenarios in regard to marriage that have not been addressed in my response. I am only talking about a marriage where both husband and wife are believers.

I don't think that Jesus made such a big deal of it. He only mentioned it because it was brought up by a Pharisee.

A lot of hurt and suffering has been experienced by good believers coming under cruel and unfair judgment from others because they are divorced and remarried, especially if they were the innocent parties.

Jesus would be much more concerned about those who pass judgment on divorced and remarried people than about the divorced people themselves. People who pass judgment on others because they do not conduct themselves according to their standard of "spirituality" are ignoring that the Christian life is also on the basis of the free grace of God through the endowment of the righteousness of Christ.

So maybe the judgmental ones may have the trauma of seeing divorced/remarried Christians entering into the joy of the Lord in heaven, while they are put with the condemned because they put unfair burdens on others when Jesus would have treated them with mercy and grace.

What Jesus was really showing His disciples through His answers to the question is that we are sinful in ourselves and totally helpless to achieve holiness. It is only by His grace that we can achieve holiness, and therefore only comes through coming to Jesus and being totally dependent on Him.