Different "types" of Baptists and what they believe

[Blue Wren]

Thanks everybody for your replies. I'm just in the US for a year staying with family and attending a Baptist church. It is very like the Presbyterian and Methodists churches I attended with other family members on my last stays in the US (I've spent every summer here). I had not known there were so many different beliefs. I think, learning more about Baptists, it is not what God has called me to be. There aren't many Baptist churches in Sweden anyway. I will return to Church of Sweden. I've enjoyed learning here, from each of you. God bless.

I've asked that the thread be closed.

 

[98cwitr]

My church is very liberal in their pronounced theology...so the answer is yes to all but #3. That said, my theology differs a bit more than slightly with the church I attend.

 

[Saricharity]

Evangelical fellowship Baptist Church beliefs

The core of The Fellowship and the reason for our national unity, is our commitment to a set of shared beliefs. The following Belief Statement, or Affirmation of Faith, is a declaration of the truths that unite us in ministry.
As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we affirm the following as a summary of what we believe to be basic truths about God and His works.
THE BIBLE
We believe the Bible to be the complete Word of God; that the sixty-six books, as originally written, comprising the Old and New Testaments were verbally inspired by the Spirit of God and were entirely free from error; that the Bible is the final authority in all matters of faith and practice and the true basis of Christian union.
GOD
We believe in one God, Creator of all, holy, sovereign, eternal, existing in three equal Persons, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
JESUS CHRIST
We believe in the absolute and essential deity of Jesus Christ, in His eternal existence with the Father in pre-incarnate glory, in His virgin birth, sinless life, substitutionary death, bodily resurrection, triumphant ascension, mediatorial ministry and personal return.
THE HOLY SPIRIT
We believe in the absolute and essential deity and personality of the Holy Spirit Who convinces of sin, of righteousness and of judgment; Who regenerates, sanctifies, illuminates and comforts those who believe in Jesus Christ.
SATAN
We believe that Satan exists as an evil personality, the originator of sin, the archenemy of God and man.
MAN
We believe that man was divinely created in the image of God; that he sinned, becoming guilty before God, resulting in total depravity, thereby incurring physical and spiritual death.
SALVATION
We believe that salvation is by the sovereign, electing grace of God; that by the appointment of the Father, Christ voluntarily suffered a vicarious, expiatory and propitiatory death; that justification is by faith alone in the all-sufficient sacrifice and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ and that those whom God has effectually called shall be divinely preserved and finally perfected in the image of the Lord.
FUTURE THINGS
We believe in the personal, bodily and glorious return of the Lord Jesus Christ; in the bodily resurrection of the just and the unjust; in the eternal blessedness of the redeemed and in the judgment and conscious, eternal punishment of the wicked.
THE LOCAL CHURCH
We believe that a church is a company of immersed believers, called out from the world, separated unto the Lord Jesus, voluntarily associated for the ministry of the Word, the mutual edification of its members, the propagation of the faith and the observance of the ordinances. We believe it is a sovereign, independent body, exercising its own divinely awarded gifts, precepts and privileges under the Lordship of Christ, the Great Head of the church. We believe that its officers are pastors and deacons.
ORDINANCES
We believe that there are only two ordinances for the church regularly observed in the New Testament in the following order:
- Baptism, which is the immersion of the believer in water, whereby he obeys Christ’s command and sets forth his identification with Christ in His death, burial and resurrection.
- The Lord’s Supper, which is the memorial wherein the believer partakes of the two elements, bread and wine, which symbolize the Lord’s body and shed blood, proclaiming His death until He comes.
THE CHURCH AND STATE
We believe in the entire separation of church and state.
RELIGIOUS LIBERTY
We believe in religious liberty; that every man has the right to practise and propagate his beliefs.
THE LORD'S DAY
We believe that the first day of the week is the Lord’s day and that, in a special sense, it is the divinely appointed day for worship and spiritual exercise.
CIVIL GOVERNMENT
We believe that civil government is of divine appointment for the interest and good order of society; that magistrates are to be prayed for, conscientiously honoured and obeyed, except only in the things opposed to the will of our Lord Jesus Christ, Who is the only Lord of the conscience and Prince of the kings of the earth.

 

[Saricharity]

What does your church believe about:
1. Women being ordained. No.
2. Women being "equal" to men in the sense that they are encouraged to have careers if they choose. Most definitely. Why wouldn't they be?
3. Bible inerrancy Yes.
4. Origins of life, Big Bang, evolution Genesis 1-11 is still Gods inerrant word.

 

[Blue Wren]

What does your church believe about:
1. Women being ordained. No.
2. Women being "equal" to men in the sense that they are encouraged to have careers if they choose. Most definitely. Why wouldn't they be?
3. Bible inerrancy Yes.
4. Origins of life, Big Bang, evolution Genesis 1-11 is still Gods inerrant word.

Thank you for your replies, Jennae.

2. I heard that some churches in America believe that women should stay at home with children and men should "bring home the bacon." Such a funny expression, lol. We do not have that in Swedish.

4. To be clear, are you saying you think life was made in six literal days? Do you have a hard time balancing that, with what you learn in your science classes at school?

 

[Bluelion]

Hi Blue.

You will find each baptist church is different. That is because baptist churches are independent, meaning self governing. We do not have one or group of leaders which over see all churches. Now if you were to go to a westbor baptist church you will find them preaching hate, and they do not hold to any other baptist faith. They are not a church of God.

Most the people objecting to women as pastors are Calvinist. They don't believe in free will or that a person chose God which is my major objection to there doctrine. They believe they were chose before creation to be saved and that some were made to go to hell. They seems to ignore that God said He is willing that all be saved. They believe Jesus only died for them and not the world, which again they ignore that Jesus said he did not come into the world to condemn it but that through Him it might be saved. The teaching is based on John Calvin, and they go round and round with people who do not hold there view.

You'll find views different from where in the country you are, like the south or west or northeast.

when I finish schooling I will be ordained, there are women taking these classes with me and to my understand they will be ordained as well if they complete the degree program. I go to the largest, not only baptist, but Christian college in the world. Liberty University.

 

[Blue Wren]

Hi Blue.

You will find each baptist church is different. That is because baptist churches are independent, meaning self governing. We do not have one or group of leaders which over see all churches. Now if you were to go to a westbor baptist church you will find them preaching hate, and they do not hold to any other baptist faith. They are not a church of God.

Most the people objecting to women as pastors are Calvinist. They don't believe in free will or that a person chose God which is my major objection to there doctrine. They believe they were chose before creation to be saved and that some were made to go to hell. They seems to ignore that God said He is willing that all be saved. They believe Jesus only died for them and not the world, which again they ignore that Jesus said he did not come into the world to condemn it but that through Him it might be saved. The teaching is based on John Calvin, and they go round and round with people who do not hold there view.

You'll find views different from where in the country you are, like the south or west or northeast.

when I finish schooling I will be ordained, there are women taking these classes with me and to my understand they will be ordained as well if they complete the degree program. I go to the largest, not only baptist, but Christian college in the world. Liberty University.

Thank you, Bluelion. That was very helpful. Best wishes to you for finishing your degree.

 

[Blue Wren]

My church is very liberal in their pronounced theology...so the answer is yes to all but #3. That said, my theology differs a bit more than slightly with the church I attend.

Thank you for your reply.

 

[Bluelion]

Thank you, Bluelion. That was very helpful. Best wishes to you for finishing your degree.

thank you

 

[98cwitr]

What does your church believe about:
1. Women being ordained. No.
2. Women being "equal" to men in the sense that they are encouraged to have careers if they choose. Most definitely. Why wouldn't they be?
3. Bible inerrancy Yes.
4. Origins of life, Big Bang, evolution Genesis 1-11 is still Gods inerrant word.

I guess that begs the question: Are they really considered "equal" if they cannot be ordained? Pastoral care and ministry is an occupation these days ya know.

 

[abysmul]

Thank you for your replies, Jennae.

2. I heard that some churches in America believe that women should stay at home with children and men should "bring home the bacon." Such a funny expression, lol. We do not have that in Swedish.

4. To be clear, are you saying you think life was made in six literal days? Do you have a hard time balancing that, with what you learn in your science classes at school?

(I do not belong to a Baptist church, but I was raised around many friends and family who were Baptists, live in an area with LOTS of Baptist churches, and have attended services in various Baptist churches over the years.)

2. To the best of my knowledge, it would be very difficult to find many churches that actually taught this or expected this. I'm not saying there are not male chauvinists out there, just saying I think this would be a rare position of churches.

4. Some people do think literal, six modern 24 hour days... there have been "polls" and surveys done on the topic, and with varying results. From my personal observations, the majority of Christians I encounter don't really think about it or discuss it, and when they do they tend to be old earth creationists.

 

[Saricharity]

Thank you for your replies, Jennae.

2. I heard that some churches in America believe that women should stay at home with children and men should "bring home the bacon." Such a funny expression, lol. We do not have that in Swedish.

4. To be clear, are you saying you think life was made in six literal days? Do you have a hard time balancing that, with what you learn in your science classes at school?

Women should have a choice to stay home. Unfortunately society makes it next to impossible to survive well on one income. One of the downsides of so called Feminism (equal rights) is that most women don't have that choice anymore. It's sad because I hope I can be a Keeper of the home one day. However, I feel pressured to go to college when I don't feel the least bit called to do it. I have full scholarship to college yet my heart yearns to marry my boyfriend and stay home and raise a family. Waste of a scholarship? I'm very undecided. My calling to stay home is every bit as valuable as doing anything else. Isn't it?

I have no problem balancing a six literal day creation. I believe Gods Word over mans wisdom. I don't choose to join in debates about evolution. It's useless and most evolutionists are wise in their own eyes and extremely insulting and condescending. The things taught in most high schools are outdated and have already been discredited. The debate regarding creation vs evolution is convoluted and mind numbing.

 

[Saricharity]

I guess that begs the question: Are they really considered "equal" if they cannot be ordained? Pastoral care and ministry is an occupation these days ya know.

Most definitely

The problem lies in people's understanding of equal. Men and women are equal in every way in Gods eyes. That doesn't mean we aren't different with different roles. Men cannot give birth to children. Does that make men less equal to women because of it? No.
There are occupations in the church for leadership positions for women. Women can be in ministry. We have females in charge of women's ministries and children's ministries and even youth ministries. We just don't call them pastors. They are not ordained.

 

[th1bill]

1. Women being ordained.

Nope, they are never the head of the family and cannot be the Husband of one wife. (1Tim. 3)

2. Women being "equal" to men in the sense that they are encouraged to have careers if they choose.

In Proverbs 30 we learn that a woman has her family to care for but if she can pull both her responsibilities as a wife/mother and work, so be it.

3. Bible inerrancy

2Tim. 3:16, yes.

4. Origins of life, Big Bang, evolution Meaning - do you believe in "creationism"?

Absolutely, God spoke and BANG, it was. And every time God spoke creation, BANG, it was also. That usually shakes and tickles the theorists and eases them into a conversational approach with a little less chance of debates that make no sense. But, yep, God made all of htis and we have, since, tried to mess it up.

How different do you think your church is to other Protestant churches?

 

[JLR1300]

Evangelical fellowship Baptist Church beliefs

The core of The Fellowship and the reason for our national unity, is our commitment to a set of shared beliefs. The following Belief Statement, or Affirmation of Faith, is a declaration of the truths that unite us in ministry.
As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we affirm the following as a summary of what we believe to be basic truths about God and His works.
THE BIBLE
We believe the Bible to be the complete Word of God; that the sixty-six books, as originally written, comprising the Old and New Testaments were verbally inspired by the Spirit of God and were entirely free from error; that the Bible is the final authority in all matters of faith and practice and the true basis of Christian union.
GOD
We believe in one God, Creator of all, holy, sovereign, eternal, existing in three equal Persons, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
JESUS CHRIST
We believe in the absolute and essential deity of Jesus Christ, in His eternal existence with the Father in pre-incarnate glory, in His virgin birth, sinless life, substitutionary death, bodily resurrection, triumphant ascension, mediatorial ministry and personal return.
THE HOLY SPIRIT
We believe in the absolute and essential deity and personality of the Holy Spirit Who convinces of sin, of righteousness and of judgment; Who regenerates, sanctifies, illuminates and comforts those who believe in Jesus Christ.
SATAN
We believe that Satan exists as an evil personality, the originator of sin, the archenemy of God and man.
MAN
We believe that man was divinely created in the image of God; that he sinned, becoming guilty before God, resulting in total depravity, thereby incurring physical and spiritual death.
SALVATION
We believe that salvation is by the sovereign, electing grace of God; that by the appointment of the Father, Christ voluntarily suffered a vicarious, expiatory and propitiatory death; that justification is by faith alone in the all-sufficient sacrifice and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ and that those whom God has effectually called shall be divinely preserved and finally perfected in the image of the Lord.
FUTURE THINGS
We believe in the personal, bodily and glorious return of the Lord Jesus Christ; in the bodily resurrection of the just and the unjust; in the eternal blessedness of the redeemed and in the judgment and conscious, eternal punishment of the wicked.
THE LOCAL CHURCH
We believe that a church is a company of immersed believers, called out from the world, separated unto the Lord Jesus, voluntarily associated for the ministry of the Word, the mutual edification of its members, the propagation of the faith and the observance of the ordinances. We believe it is a sovereign, independent body, exercising its own divinely awarded gifts, precepts and privileges under the Lordship of Christ, the Great Head of the church. We believe that its officers are pastors and deacons.
ORDINANCES
We believe that there are only two ordinances for the church regularly observed in the New Testament in the following order:
- Baptism, which is the immersion of the believer in water, whereby he obeys Christ’s command and sets forth his identification with Christ in His death, burial and resurrection.
- The Lord’s Supper, which is the memorial wherein the believer partakes of the two elements, bread and wine, which symbolize the Lord’s body and shed blood, proclaiming His death until He comes.
THE CHURCH AND STATE
We believe in the entire separation of church and state.
RELIGIOUS LIBERTY
We believe in religious liberty; that every man has the right to practise and propagate his beliefs.
THE LORD'S DAY
We believe that the first day of the week is the Lord’s day and that, in a special sense, it is the divinely appointed day for worship and spiritual exercise.
CIVIL GOVERNMENT
We believe that civil government is of divine appointment for the interest and good order of society; that magistrates are to be prayed for, conscientiously honoured and obeyed, except only in the things opposed to the will of our Lord Jesus Christ, Who is the only Lord of the conscience and Prince of the kings of the earth.

Jennae.... I really like your denominations statement of faith (as long as it isn't over the churches in an authoritative way) I think I agree with all of it. I think it's humorous that bluelion attacked Calvinism right after you posted this statement of your denominations beliefs since it is a Calvinistic statement. LOL Anyway that is his right to do so. What I am wondering is where are most of the churches in your denomination located? Are there any in the Oklahoma City area... If there are I might attend one sometime. Of course I really like my chruch too. Thanks...JLR1300

 

[Blue Wren]

Women should have a choice to stay home. Unfortunately society makes it next to impossible to survive well on one income. One of the downsides of so called Feminism (equal rights) is that most women don't have that choice anymore. It's sad because I hope I can be a Keeper of the home one day.

Yes, of course you are correct that it is economically unfeasible for most families to have a one-income home. Societies also benefit from having more adults who are working, contributing and paying taxes. Feminism is not the reason most women do not have that choice anymore. Reality is. Stockholm, where I am from, is one of the most expensive cities in the world. Ranked in the top 10. For most families it is necessary for both parents to work. We do have some of the best maternity benefits. New mothers, they take a long time off with their babies. Either parent (father or mother) can apply to stay at home for longer if they wish. Of course once the children are in school, women need something to do with their days, yes? Also it is necessary for a woman to be able to support herself financially in between the time when she moves out of the family home and gets married. There is usually a gap of time in between when she gets married and when she has her first child. It would be sensible for her to work then. I just looked up the median age of marriage for Canada because I thought, maybe it is normal to get married very young there. The common age was 30.1 in 2008. So between 18 and 30 you must have a job and support yourself, mustn't you? Why could you not be the "keeper" of the home and have a job?

However, I feel pressured to go to college when I don't feel the least bit called to do it. I have full scholarship to college yet my heart yearns to marry my boyfriend and stay home and raise a family. Waste of a scholarship? I'm very undecided.

You have a full scholarship to college and you want to give it up to marry your boyfriend? You are 17-18, correct? Your parents, they would stand behind such a decision? This is alarming to me. I do not mean to be harsh to you, but I will regret it if I'm not honest. Of course it would be a shameful waste of a scholarship. I am in shock you'd be smart enough to get a scholarship but foolish enough to throw it away. You could marry him after college. Why be so impatient? I know what it is like to be madly in love but that is not a good enough reason to give up on a scholarship. God has given you this opportunity. Honour him by making the most of it. To me, it would be ungrateful to not take it. I'm shocked at how much it costs to go to university in America. I don't know about Canada, it's probably expensive too. Many people work so hard to get a scholarship and then don't get one.

My calling to stay home is every bit as valuable as doing anything else. Isn't it?

No. It's lacking the value to society both in what you provide and in taxes. You could be a mother and still have a job, most do. Even if you do decide to stay at home with children having the qualifications to get a job will be useful. What would happen if your future-husband got sick and couldn't work, if the marriage did not work out, if God forbid he died and you had to provide for your family yourself? My best friend's father was killed when he slipped on ice and hit his head on the pavement. Things like that, they can happen anytime. Even if you have life insurance it doesn't last forever.

I have no problem balancing a six literal day creation. I believe Gods Word over mans wisdom. I don't choose to join in debates about evolution. It's useless and most evolutionists are wise in their own eyes and extremely insulting and condescending. The things taught in most high schools are outdated and have already been discredited. The debate regarding creation vs evolution is convoluted and mind numbing.

You do not think it's extremely insulting and condescending to insist that your interpretation of Genesis is the only one that could be true? You don't realise how condescending what you just wrote is? We view Genesis as a very sacred parable. It's very important to us. We do not believe it's taking "man's wisdom" over God's word. It's just reading God's word differently than you do. I do not know as much about what is taught in US / Canadian high schools about science. In Sweden it is very up to date, the standards of education are high. What we are taught about evolution is not outdated. It has not been discredited. I have a hard time believing that what's taught in most high schools has been. Is what you are taught about science in your classes now, out of date to you?

Most definitely

The problem lies in people's understanding of equal. Men and women are equal in every way in Gods eyes. That doesn't mean we aren't different with different roles. Men cannot give birth to children. Does that make men less equal to women because of it? No.
There are occupations in the church for leadership positions for women. Women can be in ministry. We have females in charge of women's ministries and children's ministries and even youth ministries. We just don't call them pastors. They are not ordained.

God created men and women equally, but men and women do not have equal opportunity to serve Him?

 

[Blue Wren]

Nope, they are never the head of the family and cannot be the Husband of one wife. (1Tim. 3)

In Proverbs 30 we learn that a woman has her family to care for but if she can pull both her responsibilities as a wife/mother and work, so be it.
2Tim. 3:16, yes.
Absolutely, God spoke and BANG, it was. And every time God spoke creation, BANG, it was also. That usually shakes and tickles the theorists and eases them into a conversational approach with a little less chance of debates that make no sense. But, yep, God made all of htis and we have, since, tried to mess it up.

How different do you think your church is to other Protestant churches?

LOL. What you wrote about the Big Bang made me laugh.

The church I go to now is Baptist. It has similar beliefs to the Methodist and Presbyterian ones I went to with family I lived with during previous stays in the US when I was becoming a Christian myself. They all believe in ordaining women and in Genesis being a sacred parable (not literal). I had not known that there was such a difference between American Protestant churches until recently.

 

[Saricharity]

They all believe in ordaining women and in Genesis being a sacred parable (not literal). I had not known that there was such a difference between American Protestant churches until recently.

I can't fathom how churches believe that Genesis is a parable. That makes no logical sense to me at all. I also find it so discouraging and causes me to loose faith in the leadership of churches. Sigh. I have only recently become aware of Theistic Evolution and frankly, I find it the most discouraging of all.

Yes, of course you are correct that it is economically unfeasible for most families to have a one-income home. Societies also benefit from having more adults who are working, contributing and paying taxes. Feminism is not the reason most women do not have that choice anymore. Reality is. Stockholm, where I am from, is one of the most expensive cities in the world. Ranked in the top 10. For most families it is necessary for both parents to work. We do have some of the best maternity benefits. New mothers, they take a long time off with their babies. Either parent (father or mother) can apply to stay at home for longer if they wish. Of course once the children are in school, women need something to do with their days, yes? Also it is necessary for a woman to be able to support herself financially in between the time when she moves out of the family home and gets married. There is usually a gap of time in between when she gets married and when she has her first child. It would be sensible for her to work then. I just looked up the median age of marriage for Canada because I thought, maybe it is normal to get married very young there. The common age was 30.1 in 2008. So between 18 and 30 you must have a job and support yourself, mustn't you? Why could you not be the "keeper" of the home and have a job?

Being a keeper of the home is a full time job. A woman who stays home does not need to find something to do with her days. The day is full of things in a home to do. You should see my mother and how busy she is. Plus she homeschools six children currently. My mom chooses to teach part time as well but it is her choice. For years she choose to stay home. My parents were married and had children by the time they were twenty. My oldest brother is married and he just turned 20. Most people I know marry WAY before they are 30. Choosing to stay at home is very undervalued and I find that sad and disheartening. I wonder if people have stopped to think how messed up this generation of kids is and maybe it might be because so many moms are working full time and they are spread so thin and so tired that they have NO IDEA what their children are doing or who their friends are. I might be young but I have ears and I hear what adults are saying. I have heard moms saying they are stressed out and tired and wish they could stay home. I also do not believe society benefits by having more adults working. That is simply not true. Society would benefit more if more women stayed home (by choice) and could raise their children . Families would be healthier and marriages would be healthier.

.





God created men and women equally, but men and women do not have equal opportunity to serve Him?

I have only had a few minutes while waiting for piano lessons to reply. My life is crazy busy with school, chores and music. Sorry I can't respond to all you have written. Hopefully I can have more time later

 

[Saricharity]

Jennae.... I really like your denominations statement of faith (as long as it isn't over the churches in an authoritative way) I think I agree with all of it. I think it's humorous that bluelion attacked Calvinism right after you posted this statement of your denominations beliefs since it is a Calvinistic statement. LOL Anyway that is his right to do so. What I am wondering is where are most of the churches in your denomination located? Are there any in the Oklahoma City area... If there are I might attend one sometime. Of course I really like my chruch too. Thanks...JLR1300

I'm sorry I don't know if there are any FEB churches in the USA. I have just begun to realize how different baptist churches are by reading this forum. I plan to have some conversations with my parents haha. This has been an eye opening thread to say the least. There are FEB churches all across Canada. It is not a small denomination. And our church is a large one. We currently have three services and are looking at church planting.

 

[Blue Wren]

I can't fathom how churches believe that Genesis is a parable. That makes no logical sense to me at all. I also find it so discouraging and causes me to loose faith in the leadership of churches. Sigh. I have only recently become aware of Theistic Evolution and frankly, I find it the most discouraging of all.

Have you tried to understand why many Christians believe it's a parable? There are many wonderful books theologians have written to explain it, I have read a few. I do understand why people used to believe that it was literal, like the devotion the ancient Greeks had to mythology. I hadn't realised people still had that belief. That's not what the Baptist church I attend now believes, I sent an e-mail with questions to the pastor there this morning to check.

I can't fathom how you could take it as being anything but a beautiful and powerful parable. It's totally illogical to me to believe the world was created in six literal days. If it was literal, it would not be contradicted by an overwhelming amount of physical evidence. There would also be actual evidence of it being true. The terms "theistic evolution" and "atheistic evolution" are very new to me, too. I was confused, when I was filling out my information that they were the origins of life choice. To us, it's just evolution. Though I must say now that I'm a Christian of course I think God is involved in the process of all things. You must have known, before recently that most Christians accept evolution, yes? I think this is a positive sign of leadership, of no longer making religion and science oil and water. They are at peace. It would have been impossible, inconceivable to have read the Bible and gotten to know Christ as my personal Saviour if the church I had attended when I was becoming a Christian had said that Genesis was all literal. I would not have had trust, to accept anything else as true. All credibility would have been lost, to me. I do not think Christianity would survive in Sweden if "creationism" was still preached there. I don't think it would anywhere in Europe. It is literally a foreign concept. Even the Pope, he accepts evolution. There is no need, to have this conflict.

Being a keeper of the home is a full time job. A woman who stays home does not need to find something to do with her days. The day is full of things in a home to do. You should see my mother and how busy she is. Plus she homeschools six children currently. My mom chooses to teach part time as well but it is her choice. For years she choose to stay home. My parents were married and had children by the time they were twenty. My oldest brother is married and he just turned 20. Most people I know marry WAY before they are 30. Choosing to stay at home is very undervalued and I find that sad and disheartening. I wonder if people have stopped to think how messed up this generation of kids is and maybe it might be because so many moms are working full time and they are spread so thin and so tired that they have NO IDEA what their children are doing or who their friends are. I might be young but I have ears and I hear what adults are saying. I have heard moms saying they are stressed out and tired and wish they could stay home. I also do not believe society benefits by having more adults working. That is simply not true. Society would benefit more if more women stayed home (by choice) and could raise their children . Families would be healthier and marriages would be healthier.

I think, from all that you have written, there are enormous cultural differences between where you come from and where I grew up and where I am living now. Even for Canada, most families are not as huge as yours and they do not marry so young, I do not think. It's unheard of, to get married by 20 and have such a big family in Sweden. Why rush into marriage?! Yes if you had that many children and you home schooled them instead of sending them to a proper school your days would be very busy! This I am sure.

In Sweden parents (either gender) can apply to stay at home with their children for much longer than is the norm in other countries. Most people, they cherish that experience but they are ready to return to the working world when their children reach school age. It is healthy, for adults to be around other adults, to have a balance. There have been studies about this, about the mental health benefits of mothers working. You think it's sad and discouraging that being a stay at home mother isn't as valued as much anymore. I see it as sad and discouraging that a young woman with a scholarship to college to marry unnecessarily young. Of course, all mothers and fathers, they want a holiday from their work, they get stressed at times. Most sincerely enjoy their jobs.

To say that families and marriages would be healthier if more women stayed at home with children doesn't reflect reality. The number 1 cause of stress in most marriages is financial strain. A wife pulling her weight in regards of earning an income lessens that strain immensely. There are huge benefits to society to having educated women in the workforce. There are benefits to family, as well. More means to provide for them, for one. If you compared the 1 on 1 time / involvement of a working mother with two children to a stay at home mother with 6+ children I don't know that they'd be so different. Parents need to know about what their children are doing, but being overly attentive isn't healthy either. It's why there is such criticism for "helicopter parenting." A big problem with the generation of today is they've been so coddled they cannot make major decisions for themselves. This is not good.

Again. If you decide in your future to stay at home and your husband has the ability to give you that luxury that will be your choice. You should make sure you get the qualifications to have a job yourself, should anything ever happen to him God forbid.

Finally. For your statement about the generation of kids today. Teen pregnancy rates are at an all-time low, teen crime rates are down, more kids are going onto university and training.

I have only had a few minutes while waiting for piano lessons to reply. My life is crazy busy with school, chores and music. Sorry I can't respond to all you have written. Hopefully I can have more time later

That is okay. I am home more this week, because school has finished for me now. You still have school this week, if you are in high school, no? Thank you for what you have written.