If you want to talk more, you can pm me if you want. I don't mind. If you want to start another thread, you can too. I am enjoying reading these stories and everyone else's opinions.mrstace said:
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Did God send you your spouse?
- Thread starter Stanfi
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blitzn
God is my Strong Tower
Well Mr. Stace,
Mine is an interesting story and let me start off by saying yes, I do believe with all my heart that the Lord brought my wife and I to each other when the time was right. For the few years before I met my wife I had not been too picky concerning who I dated because I was bored essentially and wanted some companionship. My relationship with the Lord was not where it should have been, but I wouldn't say that I was back-slidden or anything, just not Spiritually awakened at that point. The strange thing was that I would keep meeting single girls who had a child, and they weren't particularly old or anything (mid-twenties or so) where you'd expect that because of divorce and so on. Even when I was travelling domestically for my employer I met a girl in Denver, we went to dinner a couple times and then she told me she had a little boy. The girl I had dated for a while before then also had a little boy. This happened two or three times and I started to say, "Lord what's going on here?, are You trying to tell me something? I don't want the so-called instant-family, I'm really a traditional conservative guy and would like to meet girl, marry girl, THEN become father with of our child, and so on." I guess I was sort of scared to be a dad, but especially so with someone else's child; I really wanted to grow into the role with my own child.
Anyway, I've been attending my current church since about 96' and so has my wife. I had seen her there before, thought that she was pretty hot, but a few years back I'd seen her with another guy at church a lot, so I kind of wrote her off in my mind as not-available. Since then, I'd still see her every once in a while at church (we were apparently attending different services), but by herself, and I didn't think much of it. A couple years ago some friends of mine were led to start a "singles" group at our church mostly so that people who were college-age and above and not married could fellowship and have fun. It happened at one event that they had, a horseback riding event, that I decided to go really just to hang out and help my friends who were running the event with the behind the scenes things. Near the end of the night, it was raining outside pretty steadily and most of the people there were in the lodge, but a few were outside trying to roast marshmallows over a campfire in the rain. I like being in the rain, so I went out there to enjoy the weather. Then I notice the girl I'd seen once in a while at church was out at the fire too. I had occasion to make some funny comments about whatever we were talking about and she laughed at them; we flirted a bit and then soon it was time for a couple people to leave and she said she had to leave too because she hadn't seen her son in a couple days and missed him. "Oh, you have a son?" and in my mind I thought, "Lord, not again, please!". I remember her walking away and I felt something, I watched her leave, but couldn't really see her in the dark walking away. My heart was racing though, you all know that feeling...
A day or two later my mom, who has a full-time position at our church mentions to me that so and so, whom she knows at church mentioned that her best friend met an interesting young man at the recent singles gathering and was wondering if she'd see him at church soon. I said "really?, me?" <heart REALLY racing now>, and my mom casually mentions that she knows where this girl works, which happened to be very close to where I work, in a mall. I decided the next day that I would be bold/stupid and make an appearance at her work place to say hi, and kind of wing-it. I'm pretty shy, so this was a bit tough for me, but hey, ya gotta live right? So I stopped in and you should have seen the surprised look on her face; I asked her if I could give her my phone number, realizing that we didn't really know each other, and I gave it to her. We then began having lunch together whenever possible, then dating, etc... She invited me over for dinner at her apartment with her and her son, we had such a great time. She told me later on, that after I had left that night, she couldn't stop crying because she knew that she knew, that I was the one she had been waiting for. We were engaged a couple months later and made wedding plans for the following year. We both believed that the Lord had brought our lives to this point in order that we should be joined together, for so many reasons. She told me that when she was walking away from the campfire that night we met, that she kept looking back to see if I was looking at her, but couldn't really see...still makes me smile.
There have been may great times since then, but somewhere along the way, we started having pretty serious communication problems, a lot of it having to do with my wife's turbulent past and my insecurities and the ways I responded to her behavior; they played off-of each other like fuel and fire. Things came to a head this past June and my wife decided that she wanted to leave. Very soon after that I learned that she had been seeing someone else that she met right around the time she stopped coming home at night. I never wanted her to leave. It's so obvious that Satan put a person right in front of her when she was at her most needy point because of the pain she felt inside, much of it having nothing to do with me. And so it has been since then until now. It's as if she doesn't have a conscience or something, I just don't understand how she can know the Lord and make the decisions she's made.
This entire time, even through the horrible pain she has put me through, I have this strong feeling that I have been placed in her life to be the one to "stand in the gap" for my wife, and end the cycle of hurt and pain that has plagued her family for so long. If this is what the Lord wants, I can do it through His strength and give my wife grace as He's given it to me. The Lord has revealed to me (I believe) that there is a veil over her eyes right now...the more time that passes in this physical realm, the more I wonder if I'm just wrong and there's no chance. I know these could be lies from the enemy, but man I almost feel schizo with all of these thoughts. I know that I have gifts in the areas of mercy and empathy and although they allow me to help others effectively, which is what I love to do, they are very hard to bear in situations like this. So I'm an analytical, laid-back, passionate Italian with empathy and mercy gifts - God broke the mold, I'll tell ya.
>>I just took a break from writing this to go pick up some lunch, and like an idiot I decided to go to the mall where my wife works; guess who I ran into when I was on my way out?, sheesh. Do you know how it feels to see and talk to the woman you love, to whom you promised yourself and she, you, and to have her talk to you as if you're a stranger and of no importance to her? I just can't write anymore right now.
Mine is an interesting story and let me start off by saying yes, I do believe with all my heart that the Lord brought my wife and I to each other when the time was right. For the few years before I met my wife I had not been too picky concerning who I dated because I was bored essentially and wanted some companionship. My relationship with the Lord was not where it should have been, but I wouldn't say that I was back-slidden or anything, just not Spiritually awakened at that point. The strange thing was that I would keep meeting single girls who had a child, and they weren't particularly old or anything (mid-twenties or so) where you'd expect that because of divorce and so on. Even when I was travelling domestically for my employer I met a girl in Denver, we went to dinner a couple times and then she told me she had a little boy. The girl I had dated for a while before then also had a little boy. This happened two or three times and I started to say, "Lord what's going on here?, are You trying to tell me something? I don't want the so-called instant-family, I'm really a traditional conservative guy and would like to meet girl, marry girl, THEN become father with of our child, and so on." I guess I was sort of scared to be a dad, but especially so with someone else's child; I really wanted to grow into the role with my own child.
Anyway, I've been attending my current church since about 96' and so has my wife. I had seen her there before, thought that she was pretty hot, but a few years back I'd seen her with another guy at church a lot, so I kind of wrote her off in my mind as not-available. Since then, I'd still see her every once in a while at church (we were apparently attending different services), but by herself, and I didn't think much of it. A couple years ago some friends of mine were led to start a "singles" group at our church mostly so that people who were college-age and above and not married could fellowship and have fun. It happened at one event that they had, a horseback riding event, that I decided to go really just to hang out and help my friends who were running the event with the behind the scenes things. Near the end of the night, it was raining outside pretty steadily and most of the people there were in the lodge, but a few were outside trying to roast marshmallows over a campfire in the rain. I like being in the rain, so I went out there to enjoy the weather. Then I notice the girl I'd seen once in a while at church was out at the fire too. I had occasion to make some funny comments about whatever we were talking about and she laughed at them; we flirted a bit and then soon it was time for a couple people to leave and she said she had to leave too because she hadn't seen her son in a couple days and missed him. "Oh, you have a son?" and in my mind I thought, "Lord, not again, please!". I remember her walking away and I felt something, I watched her leave, but couldn't really see her in the dark walking away. My heart was racing though, you all know that feeling...
A day or two later my mom, who has a full-time position at our church mentions to me that so and so, whom she knows at church mentioned that her best friend met an interesting young man at the recent singles gathering and was wondering if she'd see him at church soon. I said "really?, me?" <heart REALLY racing now>, and my mom casually mentions that she knows where this girl works, which happened to be very close to where I work, in a mall. I decided the next day that I would be bold/stupid and make an appearance at her work place to say hi, and kind of wing-it. I'm pretty shy, so this was a bit tough for me, but hey, ya gotta live right? So I stopped in and you should have seen the surprised look on her face; I asked her if I could give her my phone number, realizing that we didn't really know each other, and I gave it to her. We then began having lunch together whenever possible, then dating, etc... She invited me over for dinner at her apartment with her and her son, we had such a great time. She told me later on, that after I had left that night, she couldn't stop crying because she knew that she knew, that I was the one she had been waiting for. We were engaged a couple months later and made wedding plans for the following year. We both believed that the Lord had brought our lives to this point in order that we should be joined together, for so many reasons. She told me that when she was walking away from the campfire that night we met, that she kept looking back to see if I was looking at her, but couldn't really see...still makes me smile.
There have been may great times since then, but somewhere along the way, we started having pretty serious communication problems, a lot of it having to do with my wife's turbulent past and my insecurities and the ways I responded to her behavior; they played off-of each other like fuel and fire. Things came to a head this past June and my wife decided that she wanted to leave. Very soon after that I learned that she had been seeing someone else that she met right around the time she stopped coming home at night. I never wanted her to leave. It's so obvious that Satan put a person right in front of her when she was at her most needy point because of the pain she felt inside, much of it having nothing to do with me. And so it has been since then until now. It's as if she doesn't have a conscience or something, I just don't understand how she can know the Lord and make the decisions she's made.
This entire time, even through the horrible pain she has put me through, I have this strong feeling that I have been placed in her life to be the one to "stand in the gap" for my wife, and end the cycle of hurt and pain that has plagued her family for so long. If this is what the Lord wants, I can do it through His strength and give my wife grace as He's given it to me. The Lord has revealed to me (I believe) that there is a veil over her eyes right now...the more time that passes in this physical realm, the more I wonder if I'm just wrong and there's no chance. I know these could be lies from the enemy, but man I almost feel schizo with all of these thoughts. I know that I have gifts in the areas of mercy and empathy and although they allow me to help others effectively, which is what I love to do, they are very hard to bear in situations like this. So I'm an analytical, laid-back, passionate Italian with empathy and mercy gifts - God broke the mold, I'll tell ya.
>>I just took a break from writing this to go pick up some lunch, and like an idiot I decided to go to the mall where my wife works; guess who I ran into when I was on my way out?, sheesh. Do you know how it feels to see and talk to the woman you love, to whom you promised yourself and she, you, and to have her talk to you as if you're a stranger and of no importance to her? I just can't write anymore right now.
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blitzn,
Your story is very beatiful. I also believe that God put you and your wife together. It's not a coincidence that you end up at the right place at the right time with someone who moves you so much instantly. I want to say thank you for sharing. I know that it took a lot of time for you to write so much, but this is exactly the kind of stuff I was interested in when I started this thread.
I also want to say that I am sorry to hear that you that you are in such a painfull state right now in your relationship. I will not say you are at the end of it, because I do not believe that you are.
I have never been married but I can relate to how you are feeling right now. About a year and a half ago, I met a great lady. I really enjoyed her company, she mad me smile, and I cared deeply about her. However we had some commuciation problems. She had been hurt in the past, and was overly cautious about men. She started seeing someone else, who she had met a few months before me. By the time I found out about this, and explained to her exacltly how I felt, it was to late.
It is amazing how someone that brought you so much joy, can cause so much pain.
I can tell that your wife is a very special woman to you. I truly hope and pray that your marriage is restored.
Again thanks for sharing.
Your story is very beatiful. I also believe that God put you and your wife together. It's not a coincidence that you end up at the right place at the right time with someone who moves you so much instantly. I want to say thank you for sharing. I know that it took a lot of time for you to write so much, but this is exactly the kind of stuff I was interested in when I started this thread.
I also want to say that I am sorry to hear that you that you are in such a painfull state right now in your relationship. I will not say you are at the end of it, because I do not believe that you are.
I have never been married but I can relate to how you are feeling right now. About a year and a half ago, I met a great lady. I really enjoyed her company, she mad me smile, and I cared deeply about her. However we had some commuciation problems. She had been hurt in the past, and was overly cautious about men. She started seeing someone else, who she had met a few months before me. By the time I found out about this, and explained to her exacltly how I felt, it was to late.
It is amazing how someone that brought you so much joy, can cause so much pain.
I can tell that your wife is a very special woman to you. I truly hope and pray that your marriage is restored.
Again thanks for sharing.
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blitzn
God is my Strong Tower
that's not the half of the story...when my wife came to the singles get-together (horseback riding), she didn't come until it was almost over and almost left because she knew her former fiance was supposed to be there too (she called it off with him before then). She told me she actually drove up to the driveway, started to drive away, then stopped and went back because something told her she should go back. Thank you blessed Holy Spirit.mrstace said:
- blitzn
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That's amazing. It is really good the hear testimonies of the Holy Spirit working in other people like this. Many times I feel other people just don't listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.blitzn said:
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Blitz'n I pray that God will restore your relationship with your wife. It is a beautiful story. I am a true romantic and I love your story.
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I think maybe , yes. My spouse was a non-believer in Christ. She now believes but I am working on her heart. She is definitely more open than she would have been marrying other. I think God wanted me for works with her and our children. My children will grow to know all about Jesus and hopefully accept him into their hearts. It is tough at times with the in-laws. They are great and very good people, but they and the grandparents lack serious knowledge and open-ness when it comes to Jesus. I can only try. They are the kind of folks that think they are too smart to truely believe. My IQ has been measured at 127-132. I am no idiot and I believe. It may have been a tough journey but mine is founded upon solid ground as result.
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sioleabha
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I think that God sent me my husband, and I wasn't even saved at the time.
I was engaged to another man, living together in sin, and all that. I wasn't a Christian at all, and I lived in a lot of sexual immorality. Not the least of which was being a cast member of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Now, I don't think a movie in and of itself can be evil. But the atmosphere of a Rocky Horror cast is incredibly detrimental to the soul. It's a place of lust, drugs, drunkenness, lying, treachery, and worse. This is where I met my husband.
He was saved, but not walking with God. His marriage had fallen apart when his wife abandoned him with two small kids. He'd sort of fallen into a drunken stupor of a lifestyle, and one day some of his friends invited him to Rocky. (He'd been a cast member way back when, and these friends were current cast members.)
When I met him, his hair was pink, he had a giant pink plastic plug in his ear, a labret piercing, and tattoos everywhere. After the show, at breakfast, he entertained us all by sticking his pinky finger through the hole in his earlobe.
And within a few weeks we were having an affair behind my fiance's back.
Why do I think God sent him into my life? Because we went from that place, where I was sleeping with anyone that moved and he was drinking himself into a stupor every night, we brought each other out of that into lives completely devoted to God. We've created a Godly family for our children, and made room for the Lord in our every day.
How could two sinners end up this way without God's intervention?
I was engaged to another man, living together in sin, and all that. I wasn't a Christian at all, and I lived in a lot of sexual immorality. Not the least of which was being a cast member of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Now, I don't think a movie in and of itself can be evil. But the atmosphere of a Rocky Horror cast is incredibly detrimental to the soul. It's a place of lust, drugs, drunkenness, lying, treachery, and worse. This is where I met my husband.
He was saved, but not walking with God. His marriage had fallen apart when his wife abandoned him with two small kids. He'd sort of fallen into a drunken stupor of a lifestyle, and one day some of his friends invited him to Rocky. (He'd been a cast member way back when, and these friends were current cast members.)
When I met him, his hair was pink, he had a giant pink plastic plug in his ear, a labret piercing, and tattoos everywhere. After the show, at breakfast, he entertained us all by sticking his pinky finger through the hole in his earlobe.
And within a few weeks we were having an affair behind my fiance's back.
Why do I think God sent him into my life? Because we went from that place, where I was sleeping with anyone that moved and he was drinking himself into a stupor every night, we brought each other out of that into lives completely devoted to God. We've created a Godly family for our children, and made room for the Lord in our every day.
How could two sinners end up this way without God's intervention?
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