Did God send you your spouse?

[charligirl]

charligirl,

Thanks. This pub, was this somewhere that you went to often, or just someplace that you happened to end up. Also, was this the first time that you had seen your spouse to be, or had you seen him before? Also, at the time were you looking and or praying for someone? If so, how long had you been?

It was the first time I had been to that pub, i was new to town and was with a girl friend one friday night.. we had been in and straight out of a couple of places and we decided to stay in this one for a quick beer. It had been recommended by a girl in a shop that I had chatted to in the week.

I had never seen him before and after that night I didn't see him again for 4 months!!

I had been without a partner for 9 years and had actually stopped praying... had basically stopped really looking as well, deciding that if and when God was going to do it He would.

 

[Stanfi]

It was the first time I had been to that pub, i was new to town and was with a girl friend one friday night.. we had been in and straight out of a couple of places and we decided to stay in this one for a quick beer. It had been recommended by a girl in a shop that I had chatted to in the week.

I had never seen him before and after that night I didn't see him again for 4 months!!

I had been without a partner for 9 years and had actually stopped praying... had basically stopped really looking as well, deciding that if and when God was going to do it He would.

That's a great story. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Flipper]

After a string of really bad dating experiences (one lasting 4 years - what was I thinking!), I met mine through a blind date set up by a Christian friend in this singles bible study that I joined a bit too late as most of the members have already married each other. I think he did come from God because we both were ready for each other the moment we met. We were engaged in 6 months and married 11 months after that. Five years next spring.

I also think God allowed me to date the ones who were not right to teach me to know the "one" when I saw him.

 

[Stanfi]

After a string of really bad dating experiences (one lasting 4 years - what was I thinking!), I met mine through a blind date set up by a Christian friend in this singles bible study that I joined a bit too late as most of the members have already married each other. I think he did come from God because we both were ready for each other the moment we met. We were engaged in 6 months and married 11 months after that. Five years next spring.

I also think God allowed me to date the ones who were not right to teach me to know the "one" when I saw him.

Flipper

Thanks for sharing, It's nice to see how you can now look back and see how those bad experiences were used for a greater good. Speaking from my own experiecne, it's not real easy to see the good while going through the bad, but stories like your does give folks like me hope.

 

[Flipper]

You won't see it until you meet the right person. That's hard to understand if you haven't. Trust me, I didn't get it until I did.

 

[dldeskins]

Do you think God sent you your spouse? Meaning did one day the person who became your spouse just showed up in you life? Did you feel that it was God as Work?

If so, how did He do it? Did you just coincidentally meet you spouse? Did it happen through a friend?, or did they just come floating out of the sky with an umbrella?

OK, I let this thread go on for awhile before answering so that someone with experiences similar to mine would answer. But they didn't, so here goes.

I met my wife on the internet. That's right, on the internet. Not only that, but I asked her to marry me before we met face-to-face and she accepted before we met face-to-face. We met in a Christian chat room on TalkCity, before it was like it is now. There were about 12 couples from that room, all of us friends, who ended up married. We have been married 5 years in February.

I went through quite a bit before I got married to my wife. I had to be healed of some real hurts from my past. My thinking had to be adjusted before I could get married. I had some "bad" ideas about what marriage was, etc.

One thing that the Lord taught me before I could get married is a concept that I know will not be accepted by a lot of people on here, and I don't intend to defend it, just put it out there. The Lord taught me that the "man has to love the woman first". Our ideal marriage in the Bible is... Christ and the church... Just as Christ loved the church first, the man also must love the woman first. When the Lord first revealed this to me, I objected... until I realized that ALL of the successful marriages that I knew of were where the man loved (and pursued) the woman first.

Did the Lord put my wife in my path? Yes He did. Not that I was "predestined" to marry her, but he knew we would be a good fit!

 

[charligirl]

One thing that the Lord taught me before I could get married is a concept that I know will not be accepted by a lot of people on here, and I don't intend to defend it, just put it out there. The Lord taught me that the "man has to love the woman first". Our ideal marriage in the Bible is... Christ and the church... Just as Christ loved the church first, the man also must love the woman first. When the Lord first revealed this to me, I objected... until I realized that ALL of the successful marriages that I knew of were where the man loved (and pursued) the woman first.

Did the Lord put my wife in my path? Yes He did. Not that I was "predestined" to marry her, but he knew we would be a good fit!

Well said that man!!

God showed me this too... being quite a confident young woman I had often made the first move.. God showed me that Christ loved us first, and the relatinoship between man and wife is like Christ and the church so it figured that the man should love first! When I look that on board I met a man who earnestly pursued me, in fact told me we would marry when we were still just friends and I had NO idea, absolutely NO idea that we would end up married. I nearly fell over when he told me he would marry me....... because what he didn't know was that I had finally got fed up with praying and 9 years of being single and had asked God for a man who would be with me like my Father was with my Mother (he KNEW and told her on second date they would marry... 35 years of marriage later and they know it was a good choice!! )

So be careful what you pray for... you might just get it !

 

[Stanfi]

OK, I let this thread go on for awhile before answering so that someone with experiences similar to mine would answer. But they didn't, so here goes.

I met my wife on the internet. That's right, on the internet. Not only that, but I asked her to marry me before we met face-to-face and she accepted before we met face-to-face. We met in a Christian chat room on TalkCity, before it was like it is now. There were about 12 couples from that room, all of us friends, who ended up married. We have been married 5 years in February.

I went through quite a bit before I got married to my wife. I had to be healed of some real hurts from my past. My thinking had to be adjusted before I could get married. I had some "bad" ideas about what marriage was, etc.

One thing that the Lord taught me before I could get married is a concept that I know will not be accepted by a lot of people on here, and I don't intend to defend it, just put it out there. The Lord taught me that the "man has to love the woman first". Our ideal marriage in the Bible is... Christ and the church... Just as Christ loved the church first, the man also must love the woman first. When the Lord first revealed this to me, I objected... until I realized that ALL of the successful marriages that I knew of were where the man loved (and pursued) the woman first.

Did the Lord put my wife in my path? Yes He did. Not that I was "predestined" to marry her, but he knew we would be a good fit!

This is amazing. I think it God did have a huge hand in this one, and a lot of faith from the both of you. I agree, the man should love the woman first, but the problem comes when the man reaches out to love a woman, but she does not reciprocate this. One has to be careful, and guard their heart.

 

[dldeskins]

Well said that man!!

God showed me this too... being quite a confident young woman I had often made the first move.. God showed me that Christ loved us first, and the relatinoship between man and wife is like Christ and the church so it figured that the man should love first! When I look that on board I met a man who earnestly pursued me, in fact told me we would marry when we were still just friends and I had NO idea, absolutely NO idea that we would end up married. I nearly fell over when he told me he would marry me....... because what he didn't know was that I had finally got fed up with praying and 9 years of being single and had asked God for a man who would be with me like my Father was with my Mother (he KNEW and told her on second date they would marry... 35 years of marriage later and they know it was a good choice!! )

So be careful what you pray for... you might just get it !

I really didn't expect that response! I expected objections. Thank you charligirl for sharing!

 

[dldeskins]

One has to be careful, and guard their heart.

Do you supposed Jesus was "careful"? Do you suppose that God the Father told Jesus, "Now you go out there and find a wife... but you be careful! Don't you get hurt!" I don't mean to sound cheeky*, but I think we, as men, have to pursue with ALL our hearts... we have to risk getting hurt.

*I forgot to mention, my wife is Canadian... from the West Coast of Canada. I am a country boy from West Virginia(US). Tell me that God doesn't have a long arm!

 

[mamaneenie]

One thing that the Lord taught me before I could get married is a concept that I know will not be accepted by a lot of people on here, and I don't intend to defend it, just put it out there. The Lord taught me that the "man has to love the woman first". Our ideal marriage in the Bible is... Christ and the church... Just as Christ loved the church first, the man also must love the woman first. When the Lord first revealed this to me, I objected... until I realized that ALL of the successful marriages that I knew of were where the man loved (and pursued) the woman first.

Did the Lord put my wife in my path? Yes He did. Not that I was "predestined" to marry her, but he knew we would be a good fit!

That is so cool, I knew someone who married someone they met on the internet, last i heard, they had a baby boy.

I think you may be right about this statement. All the guys I have fallen for, haven't been right for me. My husband certainly did pursue me. I even remember one day (I am quite independent) where I was at a party and I couldn't find my shoes, not only did he help me to find my shoes, well actually he made me sit down while he found my shoes. Then he made me stay sitting while he put the shoe on my foot. Now if that isn't going overboard to show affection, I don't know what is. It didn't take him long to win me over though.

 

[mamaneenie]

Do you supposed Jesus was "careful"? Do you suppose that God the Father told Jesus, "Now you go out there and find a wife... but you be careful! Don't you get hurt!" I don't mean to sound cheeky*, but I think we, as men, have to pursue with ALL our hearts... we have to risk getting hurt.

Absolutely. Women want a man who will risk getting hurt for their affection. I would suggest Mrstace, to pray that if the right woman comes along, that God will let you know. My husband told me that when he met me and decided he was interested in me romantically, he prayed that God would take away the feelings if it wasn't right. We were friends for a few weeks and when the feelings didn't go away he told me how he felt about me. I was so shocked and a bit freaked out. But when it occured to me that this man had become my best friend and I saw how much he cared for me, I knew he was the right one. I rejected him at first, and told him there was no way I wanted to go out with him (nicely of course) but then I turned around and we were going out for six weeks when we became engaged. That was a bit of a shock to some people.

I think what won me over in the end was the fact that he really did risk getting hurt. From that I could see how important I was to him and that he was genuine in wanting to marry me.

 

[dldeskins]

Thanks for sharing, mamaneenie. Would you like another concept?

But when it occured to me that this man had become my best friend and I saw how much he cared for me, I knew he was the right one. ...I turned around and we were going out for six weeks when we became engaged.

The Bible says, (Eph 5:28 NIV) "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

A woman responds to the man's love, even as the church responds to the love of Christ for her. In other words, a man who loves his wife a lot will be loved by his wife a lot. That is the reason the Bible says, "He who loves his wife loves himself."

 

[katelyn]

I feel that God did send me my spouse. We met at college orientation. A handful of people received incorrect directions to the orientation...he and I were part of that handful. Once I realized I was in the wrong place, I walked up to a boy sitting nearby to ask if he was there for orientation...guess who? My future husband! Because of that chance meeting, we sought each other out when school started, and I ended up transferring into his calculus class, which meant we spent every morning together 5 days a week!

The funniest thing is that we met because we were both in the computer science program. Well, now I am returning to my original interest - writing. But if I had pursued writing in college, I would have ended up at a different school and would not have met my husband!

So yeah, I think God had that one planned out.

 

[mamaneenie]

Thanks for sharing, mamaneenie. Would you like another concept?



The Bible says, (Eph 5:28 NIV) "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

A woman responds to the man's love, even as the church responds to the love of Christ for her. In other words, a man who loves his wife a lot will be loved by his wife a lot. That is the reason the Bible says, "He who loves his wife loves himself."

That is so true. I was trying to make that point but couldn't get the words right.

 

[SnowOwlMoon]

Do you think God sent you your spouse? Meaning did one day the person who became your spouse just showed up in you life? Did you feel that it was God as Work?

If so, how did He do it? Did you just coincidentally meet you spouse? Did it happen through a friend?, or did they just come floating out of the sky with an umbrella?

Well, I'm pretty sure God sent my spouse to me. He (my spouse) didn't just turn up one day; he showed up in a writing class I was taking, and I wasn't too wild about him at first. So I never considered it was God at work.

Well, he (future spouse) called me at home one day to talk about a story I'd written for the class, and so we talked about it some, and it struck me as a very odd sort of conversation--not really critiquing the story, but not really talking about anything else. The next day, he called me again, and said, "I'd like to talk to you, but I want to talk to you in person, not over the phone. Can I come over?" I said okay, we hung up, and I sort of shook the phone to see if any weirdness would fall out of it. He came over, and apologized for the phone call about the story the day before, and then said, "I'd rather have a conversation with you than do anything else." Since I've always regarded myself as the human equivalent of gooseberry ripple ice cream (some people may like it, but it'll never be popular), I was more or less gobsmacked by this revelation.

Add to this, I was unemployed at the time, looking for jobs in 2 different states, didn't know if I'd be moving out of the state in 2 weeks or 2 months, and knew I would have to take whatever job was offered where ever it was.

I had a dog at the time, a Harrier hound with a delicate digestive tract. This dog was a rescue, shy around people, especially men. But he adored this guy, and the guy was good to him. The delicate digestive tract is important, because every so often, the dog would just barf for no apparent reason. First time future spouse came over to my house, the dog threw up on his feet. I knew this guy was a keeper when he just thanked the dog for the present, took off his shoes, located the paper towels in the kitchen, and cleaned the shoes off himself, without hysterics. He even came back, and still treated the dog kindly, though he did learn to take the pre-barf "herks" seriously, and got out of the way.

I did end up with a great job in the same city, so we dated for 5 years, then got married. We still have dogs, too.

 

[wonder111]

Well, I'm pretty sure God sent my spouse to me. He (my spouse) didn't just turn up one day; he showed up in a writing class I was taking, and I wasn't too wild about him at first. So I never considered it was God at work.

Well, he (future spouse) called me at home one day to talk about a story I'd written for the class, and so we talked about it some, and it struck me as a very odd sort of conversation--not really critiquing the story, but not really talking about anything else. The next day, he called me again, and said, "I'd like to talk to you, but I want to talk to you in person, not over the phone. Can I come over?" I said okay, we hung up, and I sort of shook the phone to see if any weirdness would fall out of it. He came over, and apologized for the phone call about the story the day before, and then said, "I'd rather have a conversation with you than do anything else." Since I've always regarded myself as the human equivalent of gooseberry ripple ice cream (some people may like it, but it'll never be popular), I was more or less gobsmacked by this revelation.

Add to this, I was unemployed at the time, looking for jobs in 2 different states, didn't know if I'd be moving out of the state in 2 weeks or 2 months, and knew I would have to take whatever job was offered where ever it was.

I had a dog at the time, a Harrier hound with a delicate digestive tract. This dog was a rescue, shy around people, especially men. But he adored this guy, and the guy was good to him. The delicate digestive tract is important, because every so often, the dog would just barf for no apparent reason. First time future spouse came over to my house, the dog threw up on his feet. I knew this guy was a keeper when he just thanked the dog for the present, took off his shoes, located the paper towels in the kitchen, and cleaned the shoes off himself, without hysterics. He even came back, and still treated the dog kindly, though he did learn to take the pre-barf "herks" seriously, and got out of the way.

I did end up with a great job in the same city, so we dated for 5 years, then got married. We still have dogs, too.

haha! that's great!

 

[Stanfi]

Well, I'm pretty sure God sent my spouse to me. He (my spouse) didn't just turn up one day; he showed up in a writing class I was taking, and I wasn't too wild about him at first. So I never considered it was God at work.

Well, he (future spouse) called me at home one day to talk about a story I'd written for the class, and so we talked about it some, and it struck me as a very odd sort of conversation--not really critiquing the story, but not really talking about anything else. The next day, he called me again, and said, "I'd like to talk to you, but I want to talk to you in person, not over the phone. Can I come over?" I said okay, we hung up, and I sort of shook the phone to see if any weirdness would fall out of it. He came over, and apologized for the phone call about the story the day before, and then said, "I'd rather have a conversation with you than do anything else." Since I've always regarded myself as the human equivalent of gooseberry ripple ice cream (some people may like it, but it'll never be popular), I was more or less gobsmacked by this revelation.

Add to this, I was unemployed at the time, looking for jobs in 2 different states, didn't know if I'd be moving out of the state in 2 weeks or 2 months, and knew I would have to take whatever job was offered where ever it was.

I had a dog at the time, a Harrier hound with a delicate digestive tract. This dog was a rescue, shy around people, especially men. But he adored this guy, and the guy was good to him. The delicate digestive tract is important, because every so often, the dog would just barf for no apparent reason. First time future spouse came over to my house, the dog threw up on his feet. I knew this guy was a keeper when he just thanked the dog for the present, took off his shoes, located the paper towels in the kitchen, and cleaned the shoes off himself, without hysterics. He even came back, and still treated the dog kindly, though he did learn to take the pre-barf "herks" seriously, and got out of the way.

I did end up with a great job in the same city, so we dated for 5 years, then got married. We still have dogs, too.

That is a great story. Thank you for sharing!!!

 

[Flipper]

Since I've always regarded myself as the human equivalent of gooseberry ripple ice cream (some people may like it, but it'll never be popular),

Your story is awsome, but I love that saying because I think that explains me as well. I hope you don't mind if I copy that saying in the future. Thank you!

 

[Stanfi]

Absolutely. Women want a man who will risk getting hurt for their affection. I would suggest Mrstace, to pray that if the right woman comes along, that God will let you know. My husband told me that when he met me and decided he was interested in me romantically, he prayed that God would take away the feelings if it wasn't right. We were friends for a few weeks and when the feelings didn't go away he told me how he felt about me. I was so shocked and a bit freaked out. But when it occured to me that this man had become my best friend and I saw how much he cared for me, I knew he was the right one. I rejected him at first, and told him there was no way I wanted to go out with him (nicely of course) but then I turned around and we were going out for six weeks when we became engaged. That was a bit of a shock to some people.

I think what won me over in the end was the fact that he really did risk getting hurt. From that I could see how important I was to him and that he was genuine in wanting to marry me.

This is a wise piece of advice. I also think that was a wise thing for your husband to do.

I was in a situation where I had feelings for a girl. The girl started dating someone else. I asked God to take away the feelings or bring her back in my life, but neither of them ever really happened (as of this writing anyway). Sometimes I really don't understand things. I know this is off subject for this thread, but I just thought i would mention it.