Desparately losing faith

[ToBeLoved]

very easy to say, try waiting for decades for something that is never a direct promise in the Bible when you have the ability
to do it natures way, and the way God uses for the 99.99%

I agree with you brother to the point that if you are loosing faith and in that dark place where you are feeling spiritually distressed, than those who start quoting Bible verses to you and make you feel guilty for even having these feelings, does not help at all.

I wish myself and other Christians would be much more compassionate and at least acknowledge that someone is human and sometimes feels overwhelmed. We all do, but most will not extend a hand of compassion to anyone.

What I will say again is have you thought that maybe you thought God was calling you to a certain lifestyle and maybe He wasn't? I'm only saying this because I've made in a wierd way the same mistake, but the opposite. I thought that God had picked out a good Christian for my second marriage because I messed up the first one so bad. But after we were married a year, I began to wonder if maybe I just thought that this is what God was telling me, something to think about.

God bless.

Brothers and sisters. I exhort you to use compassion and at least let someone feel the way they feel. Maybe it is right, maybe it is wrong, but it is their feelings and this person is laying his heart out to us. The Bible is wonderful, but sometimes we do not need to lay out Bible verses (I can't believe I said that) to someone who needs acknowledgement. The Bible should be learned with love, the way the Holy Spirit teaches us, not during our most down trodden moments to teach some lesson using scripture.

 

[ClothedInGrace]

very easy to say, try waiting for decades for something that is never a direct promise in the Bible when you have the ability
to do it natures way, and the way God uses for the 99.99%

The only reason that I posted in this thread is because I myself am waiting on God for marriage. I don't care if I die without a wife, because ultimately I want God's will to be done and not my own. He is MORE than capable of bringing a woman into my life, and I've prayed to Him about it, so if no woman comes along then I'm going to accept His will. God may have me married through a dating site or something else, but as of now I don't feel called to any of that. I can't say what God's will for you is, but I can tell you for sure that giving up on Him is not the answer.

 

[sookhedo]

The only reason that I posted in this thread is because I myself am waiting on God for marriage. I don't care if I die without a wife, because ultimately I want God's will to be done and not my own. He is MORE than capable of bringing a woman into my life, and I've prayed to Him about it, so if no woman comes along then I'm going to accept His will. God may have me married through a dating site or something else, but as of now I don't feel called to any of that. I can't say what God's will for you is, but I can tell you for sure that giving up on Him is not the answer.

I hope things work out for you, questions like these become much more philosophical when you've had more time than you can imagine weighing up life. Does God really promise to provide for a spouse for everyone? If not, then will waiting really change that fact? I really hope you get your answer.

 

[sookhedo]

I agree with you brother to the point that if you are loosing faith and in that dark place where you are feeling spiritually distressed, than those who start quoting Bible verses to you and make you feel guilty for even having these feelings, does not help at all.

I wish myself and other Christians would be much more compassionate and at least acknowledge that someone is human and sometimes feels overwhelmed. We all do, but most will not extend a hand of compassion to anyone.

What I will say again is have you thought that maybe you thought God was calling you to a certain lifestyle and maybe He wasn't? I'm only saying this because I've made in a wierd way the same mistake, but the opposite. I thought that God had picked out a good Christian for my second marriage because I messed up the first one so bad. But after we were married a year, I began to wonder if maybe I just thought that this is what God was telling me, something to think about.

God bless.

Brothers and sisters. I exhort you to use compassion and at least let someone feel the way they feel. Maybe it is right, maybe it is wrong, but it is their feelings and this person is laying his heart out to us. The Bible is wonderful, but sometimes we do not need to lay out Bible verses (I can't believe I said that) to someone who needs acknowledgement. The Bible should be learned with love, the way the Holy Spirit teaches us, not during our most down trodden moments to teach some lesson using scripture.

thanks for understanding. people dont understand the pain of feeling the belief you have dying.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

very easy to say, try waiting for decades for something that is never a direct promise in the Bible when you have the ability
to do it natures way, and the way God uses for the 99.99%

i did it that way the first time i married; and i learned that it's better to be single than to be married to the wrong person. there is no such thing as 'nature'; no such entity exists - that's what the devil calls the 'flesh'

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Well maybe some God just doesn't have plans for them to marry. Not to mention wasn't it Sarah who didn't have a child until she was in her 90s? Theres still hope yet you could get married. Just saying.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Well maybe some God just doesn't have plans for them to marry. Not to mention wasn't it Sarah who didn't have a child until she was in her 90s? Theres still hope yet you could get married. Just saying.

That is true. And even have children. The guy from the Odd Couple, the tidy one, had a child when he was like 60 yo.

Men are able to still have children much later in life than women.

 

[miss-a]

This is an excellent teaching on your very type of situation. Here are links to the first part. Please let me know if you want the rest and I will find it.: http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...29F327B7791D5252BBDB29F327B7791D525&FORM=VIRE

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...1D32A3A5298D52ED95D71D32A3A5298D52E&FORM=VIRE

 

[insurchoftruth]

Dear;

God is always faithful, and if we completely trust him and his Word, then he will definitely help us.
God by his grace, will give us enough grace, to pass through the problem, or will deliver us out of it.

God loves you very much and cares for you, every single day, regardless of, if you feel it or not, because he said that he does!

The Bible tells us, that no temptation comes to us, that we can not bear, but what is common to men, and that God will give us a way out of temptation!

Happiness and satisfaction in this life, are a gift from God, and they come down from heaven. God gives them to those who love him, and trust and obey him. The happiness and satisfaction in life, which come from God, are not dependent and can not be changed by what is happening in our life, and in our circumstances, because they come from God, and not from circumstances.

When you worry about the future, which you do not know, it prevents you to function and
enjoy living in the present, which you know.

We all have reasons, to be troubled, but the Word of God, gave us a greater reason, not to be
troubled.

Isaiah 61:1-3, Psalm 68:19, 2 Corinthians 1:3-11, Psalm 115:3-8, Psalm 107:41, Psalm 116:6-
9, Psalm 22:24, Psalm 94:17-19, Psalm119:92,93, Psalm 142:2,3, Romans 15:13, Psalm
121:1,3,7, Psalm 50:15, Psalm 34:6,17,18,19, Psalm 69, Psalm 37:24,39, Psalm 46:1, Psalm
30:11, 31:6-10, Psalm 62, Psalm 6, Psalm 147:3, 4:16-18, 7:6, 12:8,9,10, Lamentations 3:1-
66, Psalm 138:7, Psalm 43:5, Psalm 12:5, Psalm 22:24, Psalm 18:27,28, Psalm 20:1, Psalm
9:9,12,18, Psalm 119:50

 

[Faithless2]

i wonder if there's some books out there for people who are dealing with this?

I kind of figure that the bible would be the best book to deal with what you are going through, I am probably the least qualified to give advice on your predicament as I met my wife at a local fete, she was standing between the wishing well and the lucky dip but our eyes met and that was it ..... we have been married for 25 years, I think what I am trying to say is that the right person can appear at any time and in any location ..... my wife asked God for a "bent" christian because of her past..... if you now think that it was a mistaken idea you had then don't give up on someone coming into your life...... change church which I know will not be that easy both for your friends sake and making new friends isn't easy the older we get but God is love and doesn't deny us the same thing.

 

[sookhedo]

i did it that way the first time i married; and i learned that it's better to be single than to be married to the wrong person. there is no such thing as 'nature'; no such entity exists - that's what the devil calls the 'flesh'

What you want to label as 'flesh' is what keeps us breathing, eating, reproducing. there's no need to spiritualise what is the natural order. Its when religion interferes with this that problems occur, ask a catholic.

you dont ask God for food when you feel hungry if you have food in the fridge? is that the 'flesh' tempting you? of course gluttony is a sin, and extra-martial relations are also a sin, but following natural desires shouldnt be super-spiritual.

 

[ToBeLoved]

What you want to label as 'flesh' is what keeps us breathing, eating, reproducing. there's no need to spiritualise what is the natural order. Its when religion interferes with this that problems occur, ask a catholic.

you dont ask God for food when you feel hungry if you have food in the fridge? is that the 'flesh' tempting you? of course gluttony is a sin, and extra-martial relations are also a sin, but following natural desires shouldnt be super-spiritual.

The flesh is usually referred to as 'what sinful man wants to do' which is to satisfy the flesh. It is used in the Bible in several examples and is why it is used as a term by Christians. It is considered our natural sinful state as would exist without the spiritual.

Galatians 5:24
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.


Galatians 5:19-21
Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Ephesians 2:3
Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.

Romans 13:14
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.

Galatians 6:12-13
Those who desire to make a good showing in the flesh try to compel you to be circumcised, simply so that they will not be persecuted for the cross of Christ. For those who are circumcised do not even keep the Law themselves, but they desire to have you circumcised so that they may boast in your flesh.

Galatians 5:17
For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Romans 8:5-9
For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, read more.

Galatians 6:8
For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

Romans 7:5
For while we were in the flesh, the sinful passions, which were aroused by the Law, were at work in the members of our body to bear fruit for death.

Does that make sense?

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hi,

I am sorry that this happened to you, and you feel loss. But you will have your reward in heaven. God knows you did this for Him, he will reward you for those years of struggle.

That does not mean you can not have the physical here on earth now. Seek the LORD as to how he would meet your need. Everything we give to God must be of our free will, it is not like God will hold you to the initial decision you made forever.

Will pray for you to find fulfilment in this situation.

 

[ToBeLoved]

The flesh is usually referred to as 'what sinful man wants to do' which is to satisfy the flesh. It is used in the Bible in several examples and is why it is used as a term by Christians. It is considered our natural sinful state as would exist without the spiritual.

Galatians 5:24
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.


Galatians 5:19-21
Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Ephesians 2:3
Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.

Romans 13:14
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.

Galatians 6:12-13
Those who desire to make a good showing in the flesh try to compel you to be circumcised, simply so that they will not be persecuted for the cross of Christ. For those who are circumcised do not even keep the Law themselves, but they desire to have you circumcised so that they may boast in your flesh.

Galatians 5:17
For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Romans 8:5-9
For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, read more.

Galatians 6:8
For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

Romans 7:5
For while we were in the flesh, the sinful passions, which were aroused by the Law, were at work in the members of our body to bear fruit for death.

Does that make sense?

How then are you saying it keeps us breathing and eating? There is a disconnect here. Taking care of ones body to live is not sin or of the flesh.

 

[sookhedo]

How then are you saying it keeps us breathing and eating? There is a disconnect here. Taking care of ones body to live is not sin or of the flesh.

Doesnt hunger come from the flesh? Doesnt the desire to reproduce come from the same place? So being a Christian doesnt remove those appetites, just the mastery of them.

In other words, i dont need a special dispensation to satisfy them within the bounds of other sinful laws like adultery, gluttony etc.

 

[sookhedo]

Hi,

I am sorry that this happened to you, and you feel loss. But you will have your reward in heaven. God knows you did this for Him, he will reward you for those years of struggle.

That does not mean you can not have the physical here on earth now. Seek the LORD as to how he would meet your need. Everything we give to God must be of our free will, it is not like God will hold you to the initial decision you made forever.

Will pray for you to find fulfilment in this situation.

thank you

 

[Razare]

I believed in my early 30s that God wanted me single. It crushed me, but having been through painful relationship breakups, i had to go with it and trust God.
In the decade that followed, i gave up relationships believing God had a bigger and better plan for me, some relationships that everyone around knew were right for me, but i still didnt pursue them.

Its now not long until i hit 50, and nothing happened, nothing to show for my singleness, and i've slowly lost faith in God to either help or even to speak to me about it. I feel abandoned, and that if I got it wrong those years ago, or not, God has given up helping me and I'm left old, alone and useless.

I grew up in a faith church, so i believed that God was always good enough, faithful enough, loving enough to help anyone who asked. Now, i've got nowhere to go with my belief. I've always just wanted a win-win, for God to show himself as my provider, to be the restorer of things lost. I always wanted to keep my faith, and i feel God has decided my faith was disposable. All i wanted was to see Him vindicated in my life, when others including a previous pastor, mocked me for believing in a God that works miracles today. My ex pastor told me to look at my life, and say that God always responds to faith - we were discussing healing by faith. I hate it that he is the one who will come out right.

Now my choices are much more limited, and worse, I dont know how to trust God. I started praying the other day for something quite small and it hit me that why would God be so interested in something trivial, when the biggest problem is left unanswered.

My choice to keep on believing and waiting, maybe for another 10 years, is unthinkable now.

Or if i just go out and settle for anyone, then i've lost nearly 20 years of meaningless pain, and lost my faith and trust in God. I cant win unless God answers my prayers.

I have an anti-testimony, and i have no idea how to trust God anymore. I wish I had never believed in any of this now.

Can anyone help me go forward.

Edit: I was too wind-baggy in my original post.

- Think about getting a wife. My dad got remarried at 50+ to someone 20 years younger than him.

- It's not a sin to marry, especially if you want to. If you want to marry, really scripture teaches it is better to marry if we want to.

- The main reason for not getting married was ministry. If you are so busy in ministry that you can't be a good husband, then it's bad to marry, really because it's not loving your wife properly.

So I would suggest if you're not going to marry, then to have an active community life with Christians as a family, as it was in the Early church. If you don't have that, you need to make a family or go find a family that needs a husband.

I don't think it's good to live your life alone, and it sounds like you might be lonely.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Doesnt hunger come from the flesh? Doesnt the desire to reproduce come from the same place? So being a Christian doesnt remove those appetites, just the mastery of them.

In other words, i dont need a special dispensation to satisfy them within the bounds of other sinful laws like adultery, gluttony etc.

The body needs food to survive. A body does not need to over eat to survive. Nor does a body need intercourse to survive.

Somehow your understanding of survival vs. desire is all messed up.

 

[aiki]

believed in my early 30s that God wanted me single. It crushed me, but having been through painful relationship breakups, i had to go with it and trust God.
In the decade that followed, i gave up relationships believing God had a bigger and better plan for me, some relationships that everyone around knew were right for me, but i still didnt pursue them.

Its now not long until i hit 50, and nothing happened, nothing to show for my singleness, and i've slowly lost faith in God to either help or even to speak to me about it. I feel abandoned, and that if I got it wrong those years ago, or not, God has given up helping me and I'm left old, alone and useless.

If you've taken the wrong end of the stick concerning God's will for you, is it God's fault? No. So, walking away from Him is not an appropriate response to your mistake. It seems to me the right response would be to learn how to better perceive His will.

God has not left you alone. In fact, your present loneliness may be part of God teaching you to be satisfied simply with Him. Why is He not by Himself enough? If you have Him, what more do you really need? Why must you be used for some "bigger and better plan"? How is fellowship with God, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, not the biggest and best thing possible? Maybe this is what God is intending for you to consider.

My ex pastor told me to look at my life, and say that God always responds to faith - we were discussing healing by faith. I hate it that he is the one who will come out right.

Do you hate it because you were wrong? Isn't that just pride? If he is right and speaks the truth, isn't that truth more important than your pride?

Now my choices are much more limited, and worse, I dont know how to trust God. I started praying the other day for something quite small and it hit me that why would God be so interested in something trivial, when the biggest problem is left unanswered.

What "biggest problem" are you talking about?

I don't think it is that you don't know how to trust God but rather that, since God has not responded positively to your exercise of faith, you refuse to trust Him any longer. You don't have a problem, it seems, with the ability to exercise faith but with the desire to do so in God. But where does God say that every time we trust Him to do something for us He is obliged to act?

Or if i just go out and settle for anyone, then i've lost nearly 20 years of meaningless pain, and lost my faith and trust in God. I cant win unless God answers my prayers.

"You can't win"? Is not knowing and being loved by God enough of a "win"? If you can't be satisfied with the God of all Creation, why do you think a lesser, human relationship will ultimately satisfy? I can tell you that it won't. We have a God-shaped void within that no human person can fill.

It sounds like you're letting your pride get the best of you. Apparently, you've mistaken God's will for you. Okay. Why would a person who has taken the wrong path in a forest and finally, after a long wandering, realizes it, continue to go down the same path, or worse, step off the path entirely into the dark and tangled woods? The sensible thing to do is admit the mistake of taking the wrong path, go back and take the right one. It sounds, though, like you think the only option for you is to leave the path and take to the darkness and confusion of the woods. Does this really seem like it is necessary or wise?

Selah.

 

[dhh712]

I believed in my early 30s that God wanted me single. It crushed me, but having been through painful relationship breakups, i had to go with it and trust God.
In the decade that followed, i gave up relationships believing God had a bigger and better plan for me, some relationships that everyone around knew were right for me, but i still didnt pursue them.

Its now not long until i hit 50, and nothing happened, nothing to show for my singleness, and i've slowly lost faith in God to either help or even to speak to me about it. I feel abandoned, and that if I got it wrong those years ago, or not, God has given up helping me and I'm left old, alone and useless.

I grew up in a faith church, so i believed that God was always good enough, faithful enough, loving enough to help anyone who asked. Now, i've got nowhere to go with my belief. I've always just wanted a win-win, for God to show himself as my provider, to be the restorer of things lost. I always wanted to keep my faith, and i feel God has decided my faith was disposable. All i wanted was to see Him vindicated in my life, when others including a previous pastor, mocked me for believing in a God that works miracles today. My ex pastor told me to look at my life, and say that God always responds to faith - we were discussing healing by faith. I hate it that he is the one who will come out right.

Now my choices are much more limited, and worse, I dont know how to trust God. I started praying the other day for something quite small and it hit me that why would God be so interested in something trivial, when the biggest problem is left unanswered.

My choice to keep on believing and waiting, maybe for another 10 years, is unthinkable now.

Or if i just go out and settle for anyone, then i've lost nearly 20 years of meaningless pain, and lost my faith and trust in God. I cant win unless God answers my prayers.

I have an anti-testimony, and i have no idea how to trust God anymore. I wish I had never believed in any of this now.

Can anyone help me go forward.

What you may have to stop doing is making your faith determinate upon the circumstances of your life. I don't understand your rationalization of how settling for anyone will make you lose your faith and trust in God. Marrying someone who is not a believer is not encouraged, and will likely bring you some problems, but it's not the unforgivable sin by any means. What I'm reading from your post here, it sounds as though you're telling God, "You're going to have to put someone I can marry into my life, or I'll stop believing in you."

God is always good enough, faithful enough, loving enough to help anyone who asked. The thing is, you don't know what's best for you. You may think you do, but you don't. For some reason, God has wanted you to be single for this long. I have no idea why. It seems like a mistake; it would to anyone. For some reason, God wanted my fiancé to be single until he was almost 60, when he wanted to get married just as much as you did. He'd given up on it. He'd figured he'd die alone. He figured the only woman he would be able to meet would be someone divorced, with children or something, so he gave up dreams of getting married. God still enabled him to have faith through it.

You have to understand that this is a fallen world and this is not our home, not a place where we can find lasting happiness. Whatever happiness we do have is a gift from God. Some he has, in his infinite wisdom, given many blessings; to some he has given few. There may be some of his children to whom he has only given the gift of knowing Christ. Really, that should be the greatest gift of all and should satisfy all our needs. Yet it doesn't, does it. We still have sin in us. We don't think that knowing Jesus is the son of God and has covered all our sins is enough to make us happy. The thing is, it won't to our sinful flesh; that can only bring us the fullest satisfaction and lasting happiness in a perfect world where we don't live yet.

I'm not sure how you can maintain your faith. I would pray and read God's word and try to surround yourself with believers. That's about the only advice I can give.