Dating non believers

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Fixation On God

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I ain't got much ta say cause I'm a newbie and all....

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14)

“Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet? " (Amos 3:3)

"For the law brings wrath, but where there is no law there is no transgression." (Romans 4:15)

"Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." (Proverbs 4:23)

.............
 
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johnd

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Look at the probabilities of a marriage of faith (both believers) succeeding. And by the way, dating is not the social soiree it has been made into. It is the search for a mate.

Most who wed have no idea what they are getting themselves into. Paul summarized. Celibacy is best, but it requires a spiritual gift not to lust. Most don't have that gift, certainly not I. So it is better to marry and take your chances than lust and fornicate (which covers all forms of sexuality outside the bonds of holy matrimony).

Believers apart from unbelievers have reasons to show restraint and to do the extras needed to make it through the trials and temptations of marriage and making a family. And then there's the fallen world we live in where death disease and dismemberment are possibilities. Few plan to marry someone they will have to nurse maid for or push around in a wheel chair... and be faithful to no matter what.

Do you really think it wise to risk all that and more with one who has no reason like you to show restraint or to do the extras or to remain in the relationship you invested everything into because her view of the vows were "till something better comes along..." or "till I get bored..."

The most beautiful most loving and loveable human being on this earth is still only human... everything good and bad about being one is in there. And that which brings out the best in humans is our salvation through faith in Christ.

Foxy as this one might be, willing as she may seem (to love you or whatever) she and it can turn ugly overnight. Be wise and be truer to yourself and your children to be.

It's not worth the emotional investment. And even if 70 years of marriage goes swimmingly for you both... you cannot imagine the grief you will feel when you realize after growing with and inter your mate that because they aren't a believer they will not be in heaven, they will not be with you or Jesus in eternity. Bad as that is now at this stage today, it will be worse in however many years you grow to love them more.

Puppy love and lust will pass. Beauty fades. She can and will find another that she thinks is funny or interesting as she does you now... (and that's even if you pursue her).

Love is not a feeling it's an act of will. Remember that.
 
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Avolarx

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It's not impossible. But I probably wouldn't want a partner who's not a believer. It would make me sad that they don't know God and his love, which would also lead to the fact that they can't be perfectly spiritually close to me. If the couple shares their faith and if they both genuinely love God, it's a beautiful thing and a blessing and it also keeps them closer together.
 
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Brian90

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Thanks everyone, you all have been very helpful. I am still praying to God about this situation, please continue to uphold me in your prayers. :)

My opinion about my friend, who is an unbeliever, is that she has good moral values, she is a good person, she is very beautiful, she is intelligent, her personality and mine are very matching for each other etc.. She is like the perfect girl for me, the only "hindering" thing is that she is an unbeliever, but from what I know (as in from knowing her), its because she never really heard about Jesus Christ and God before. I mean, in the sense that no one actually really brought her to Church and shared The Good News to her etc. So wouldn't it be fine if I introduced her to God and Jesus Christ?

And, I have known other girls who are Christians, some of them have not so good moral values etc.. even though its not right for me to judge. I am meaning it in the sense that my current friend/girlfriend who is a non believer has better moral values than those who are Christians.

What are your views? Thanks! :)

Please continue to pray for me, and that God would send the right girl for me. Thanks :)
 
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Johnnz

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We do find non believers with higher morals than some Christians.

But also recognise that her moral behaviour is an expression of God's principles already within her, although not recognised by her as such. Where else would good moral values derive from?

John
NZ
 
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Johnnz

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How can any Jesus-rejecter have higher morals than a Christian?

For the reason given in my post. In the gospels we see Jesus commending a pagan, a Roman soldier, for having more faith than the jews were showing.

See also Romans:

Rom 2:12-16

12 All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13 For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. 14 (Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, 15 since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.)
NIV


John
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Brian90

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Thanks everyone!

We do find non believers with higher morals than some Christians.

But also recognise that her moral behaviour is an expression of God's principles already within her, although not recognised by her as such. Where else would good moral values derive from?

John

Thanks, care to expand on that?
 
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Johnnz

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Sure,

God is the creator of all that there is. God is pure Goodness. Whenever we see anything that is a genuine 'good' (beauty, laughter, creativity, compassion etc) that derives from God. Evil is only a spoiled good, something that takes away from the original. This, her high moral standards are a reflection of something of the life of God within her, although she does not recognise their source.

Col 1:16-18
16 For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
NIV

Her body and all its functions are sustained by Jesus in some way - all things doesn't exclude that much!

John 1:9 The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world. NIV. This refers to Jesus.

When we become Christians its like the pattern in the puzzle becomes obvious and from our relationship with Jesus we find a satisfaction that comes from that. She is not as yet a believer, but she does have some of the image bearing qualities she was created with and for.

Does this make sense?

John
NZ
 
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Snyder45

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What does God and The Bible have to say about dating non believers?

Thanks. :)

Please pray for my friend, she is a non believer. Thanks. :)

My wife was raised by "Jehovah Witnesses". (Ohh, that really burns me up, but who understands that... lol. Besides God, of course.)

Anyway, she was an "unbeliever". Or so she claimed. She was not.

Do not judge people by the surface appearance - including the words they say, or seem to be saying - the Lord is beyond such things. He is beyond - well beyond - the semantics of your own context.

Trust God. Anyway, Paul said specifically unbelievers are sanctified because of the believer when speaking of this issue.

Believe it.
 
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secretshadows618

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Thanks everyone, you all have been very helpful. I am still praying to God about this situation, please continue to uphold me in your prayers. :)

My opinion about my friend, who is an unbeliever, is that she has good moral values, she is a good person, she is very beautiful, she is intelligent, her personality and mine are very matching for each other etc.. She is like the perfect girl for me, the only "hindering" thing is that she is an unbeliever, but from what I know (as in from knowing her), its because she never really heard about Jesus Christ and God before. I mean, in the sense that no one actually really brought her to Church and shared The Good News to her etc. So wouldn't it be fine if I introduced her to God and Jesus Christ?

And, I have known other girls who are Christians, some of them have not so good moral values etc.. even though its not right for me to judge. I am meaning it in the sense that my current friend/girlfriend who is a non believer has better moral values than those who are Christians.

What are your views? Thanks! :)

Please continue to pray for me, and that God would send the right girl for me. Thanks :)

Don't go into a relationship thinking you can change someone. Most of the time when you do that its you who ends up changing. So be her friend and reach out to her but nothing more than a friend. Show her Gods love. When she is right with God and if you still feel the same then pursue a more personal relationship with her.

Best of luck!
secretshadows
 
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wonderwaleye

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Thanks everyone, you all have been very helpful. I am still praying to God about this situation, please continue to uphold me in your prayers. :)

My opinion about my friend, who is an unbeliever, is that she has good moral values, she is a good person, she is very beautiful, she is intelligent, her personality and mine are very matching for each other etc.. She is like the perfect girl for me, the only "hindering" thing is that she is an unbeliever, but from what I know (as in from knowing her), its because she never really heard about Jesus Christ and God before. I mean, in the sense that no one actually really brought her to Church and shared The Good News to her etc. So wouldn't it be fine if I introduced her to God and Jesus Christ?

And, I have known other girls who are Christians, some of them have not so good moral values etc.. even though its not right for me to judge. I am meaning it in the sense that my current friend/girlfriend who is a non believer has better moral values than those who are Christians.

What are your views? Thanks! :)

Please continue to pray for me, and that God would send the right girl for me. Thanks :)



Brian JESUS made it very clear to us as HE ascended up to heaven:




GO FORTH UNTO THE ENTIRE WORLD AND PREACE THE GOSPEL


He did not tell us to judge others for the good or the bad. HE did not tell us to only preach to CHRISTIANS.


Do you not think this is the correct answer to your question?


LOVE



steven :hug:
 
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Snyder45

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Don't go into a relationship thinking you can change someone.<snip>


I disagree. What love does is hope and believe. If one can believe one can "change" someone. One can.

Why is this difficult to believe.

I know, I know. The world says otherwise.

That's why the weeds the Devil get planted are burned up.
 
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Brian90

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Thanks everyone for your replies. I will try to update you on our relationship. :)

Sure,

Does this make sense?

John
NZ

Thanks, its been helpful. :)

My wife was raised by "Jehovah Witnesses". (Ohh, that really burns me up, but who understands that... lol. Besides God, of course.)

Anyway, she was an "unbeliever". Or so she claimed. She was not.

Do not judge people by the surface appearance - including the words they say, or seem to be saying - the Lord is beyond such things. He is beyond - well beyond - the semantics of your own context.

Trust God. Anyway, Paul said specifically unbelievers are sanctified because of the believer when speaking of this issue.

Believe it.

Thanks, could you expand on this point/point out to me where in The Bible did Paul say this?

Thanks for your help!
 
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Brian90

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Brian JESUS made it very clear to us as HE ascended up to heaven:




GO FORTH UNTO THE ENTIRE WORLD AND PREACE THE GOSPEL


He did not tell us to judge others for the good or the bad. HE did not tell us to only preach to CHRISTIANS.


Do you not think this is the correct answer to your question?


LOVE



steven :hug:

I disagree. What love does is hope and believe. If one can believe one can "change" someone. One can.

Why is this difficult to believe.

I know, I know. The world says otherwise.

That's why the weeds the Devil get planted are burned up.


Thanks, I think I will follow these 2 principles? Does it say anywhere in The Bible "one cannot change someone" or something like that? Or is it fine for me to believe that I can change someone? And that I can preach to my girlfriend and try to convert her, as Jesus said "GO FORTH UNTO THE ENTIRE WORLD AND PREACE THE GOSPEL"?

Thanks everyone. :)
 
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Johnnz

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Here is the reference. Paul was dealing with 'mixed marriages' within the new community.

1 Cor 7:12-14
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. NIV

John
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kaykay9.0

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People take part in "missionary dating" which is what you're talking about. 9/10 times it doesn't work and just hurts both people in the relationship. The rare instance where it doesn't work is the unbeliever accepts Christ and the relationship works out. Personally I wouldn't recommend going this route. If you like someone that isn't a christian....be a good friend to them and shine your light in whatever way possible and see if they accept Him into their lives. It would make your relationship that much stronger.

That's my 2 cents coming from someone who has dated multiple non christian girls and having all of them end badly. Hope it helps :)
Tend to agree here. I remember some years back I was working in a certain place and I knew a young man who was really on fire for the Lord. He began dating a girl who was not a believer (whom I also worked closely with) and I was glad. I naively thought that he was so on fire that he was bound to influence her with his faith. Regrettably, it turned out right the opposite. She seemed to influence him instead to the point he was not living for the Lord at all. They married and their marriage failed as well. They divorced within about 2 years. I don't know if he ever got back on track with the Lord or not.

Frankly, as skysthelimit said, "missionary dating" is just not a good idea.
 
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