HazelWings
There is no one like our God
Like so many of the other threads that pop up here, I think it all boils down to who the two individuals are and what's comfortable for them.
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Like so many of the other threads that pop up here, I think it all boils down to who the two individuals are and what's comfortable for them.
It shows your being the man in terms of provider, financial stability. Thats what I mean. If you can't afford a first date that means that your not able to assumer responsibilities yet...FINANCIALLY. It doesn't mean your not a man. It just means in terms of FINANCIAL STABILITY and MATURITY that you are able to be a PROVIDER. I know that in this bad economy guys might have it bad, but If you want to share your life with someone that means you going to want to show the girl that she is special and important enought that you would like to show her that you can pay for the first date. I mean thats just an opinion. I'm not saying thats the be all and end all. I'm just saying that If I was a guy I would feel embarrased to not be able to pay for the first date thats basically what I mean. Paying doesn't conquer the girl it just shows me something about you. Great.. Watch me get completely bulldozed by all the CF MEN!> AAAHHHHH RUNS AWAY
There is a happy medium, and there's many lovely levels housing very many different people who can all happily placate each others feelings on this matter.
Thank You!! lol I feel the male Lynch mob on me! lol I take it me and revive would have a horrible date. lol Revive I'm Sorrryyyyyyyyyyyy... lol
Guys that insist on paying usually are just setting themselves up for frustration and feeling used down the road. It gets old and expensive to pick up the tab every time you go out. There are certainly guys that will do it because they believe it's traditional, or somehow living up to a divine roll in which God demands they pay for dinner. But reality has a way of sinking in and when you can't do something you want to do, go out with friends, or buy yourself something because all your spare money goes to paying for dates it gets really frustrating. I've seen it over and over, and I've seen guys dump girls because they're tried of paying for dates and want other stuff. If they can't resolve that maybe the solution is for her to pick up her own stuff they're going to end the relationship. Then there's a lot of guys end up feeling used when they get dumped, even if that wasn't the case. If you're stuck paying for everything all the time and get dumped it's going to feel like a huge waste of money, and it kind of is a huge waste of money. So my philosophy comes down to keep early dates free, or very cheap. There's lots of stuff you can do like go to the park, or out for a cup of coffee that cost nothing or very little. If a girl comes out demanding being taken out to dinner then there's more than a fair chance she's just looking for a free meal, and should be avoided. Later on if you want to invite someone to something they normally wouldn't do, or is beyond their means, then you should pay for it. If you want to take your girl to a football game and she doesn't really like football all that much it's not really fair to ask her to dump that much money on tickets for something you primarily want to do. Or if you want to go to some big fancy restaurant and you know she can't really afford it then it also wouldn't be fair to ask her to pick up half. Normal kinds of activities you can take turns paying, or split the check. It keeps things fun and far less expensive. Women that simply refuse to pay for anything IMO should be avoided. You can pretty well be sure they're going to go for the fattest wallet, and as soon as that ain't you, they're gone.
It shows your being the man in terms of provider, financial stability. Thats what I mean. If you can't afford a first date that means that your not able to assumer responsibilities yet...FINANCIALLY. It doesn't mean your not a man. It just means in terms of FINANCIAL STABILITY and MATURITY that you are able to be a PROVIDER. I know that in this bad economy guys might have it bad, but If you want to share your life with someone that means you going to want to show the girl that she is special and important enought that you would like to show her that you can pay for the first date. I mean thats just an opinion. I'm not saying thats the be all and end all. I'm just saying that If I was a guy I would feel embarrased to not be able to pay for the first date thats basically what I mean. Paying doesn't conquer the girl it just shows me something about you. Great.. Watch me get completely bulldozed by all the CF MEN!> AAAHHHHH RUNS AWAY
Ability really has nothing to do with it. Is it fundamentally fair, in your opinion, that a guy should have to spend all his extra money on dates while you get to spend your extra money on just things you want?
Us women spend a heckuva lot more on undies, clothes, cosmetics and skincare for the man's enjoyment while dating, while the guys just shower and show up. Consider it an even trade.
Since everyone has varying views on this, it's best for a couple to discuss it BEFORE the date. If you can't come to an easy consensus, that's probably a good sign you shouldn't start dating to begin with lol.
I believe the man should pay. Not because I'm a gold-digger, or selfish, or lazy, or any other ridiculous thing. I think it's what a gentleman does, and I think it's the way God designed us (for the man to initiate and provide). A woman who comes into a date with a long list of "don't do THIS or THIS or you will OFFEND me" is a woman who needs to be avoided IMHO. Let the man be the man; it's a man's nature to want to provide for and protect someone he cares for. Let him do it, for heaven's sake. And no, you don't have to be married in order to understand and operate by the rules of men & women.
Bottom line: find someone who believes the same way you do, and establish it BEFORE you start dating.
IMO a guy is always suppose to pay for a date, whether it's coffee or a seven course meal. If he expects me to pay, or has a problem with paying then that tells me a lot about him, and tells me he isn't my type.
Ok,
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EDIT: One of my friends also told me that if a guy asks you out and you don't let him pay it's emasculating. That it hurts their feelings. Is that true?
I'll end it with this.
If I go on a date and we get the check what I've done is take out my purse and say... how much for what I ordered? If the guy tells me don't worry about it. I'd take that as a good gesture and a good part of the date. thats basically what I mean. well for me. thats it. end of story. RUNS AWAY FROM THE MALE LYNCH MOB YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!! HAHAHAH
If you "expect" me to pay, then you're right!
Look, I fully realize I'm a bit jaded when it comes to this subject. Please accept my apologizes if any of what I've written is construed as shortsighed or insensitive.
Us women spend a heckuva lot more on undies, clothes, cosmetics and skincare for the man's enjoyment while dating, while the guys just shower and show up. Consider it an even trade.