Dad Arrested for Taking Tween Daughter's Phone

[Cearbhall]

Not all parents live in a situation where they have exes trying to contact kids. Also, some kids are told from the very first time they use any kind of device that connects to the internet to beware evil. When parents trust and respect their kids, and speak to them honestly and openly about the risks without scare tactics or hysteria, the kids tend to return that trust and respect in spades. Even adolescents/teens will trust their parents and tell them about their private lives.

Exactly. "Tell us if anything weird happens" was enough for me.

 

[Hammster]

We are all up in our kids' business. But we've been upfront with them that it's how we plan to parent. Trust but verify. And we told them that we would be that way because we love them and it's our job to protect them while teaching them to be adults. We like them and enjoy being with them, but we are not their friends.

It's hard to relate that to this situation because my wife and I are not divorced. But if I'm going to err, it will be on the side of caution.

 

[Hetta]

Exactly. "Tell us if anything weird happens" was enough for me.

And that was the best parental advice long before the advent of the internet. There were scary things/people long before the internet - try since the beginning of time. My parents were very good at letting me figure a lot of things out, but I also knew I could talk to them if I was worried by someone's behavior towards me. I always wanted to parent my kids as they parented me, and my kids have said they want to parent their kids the same way.

 

[Ada Lovelace]

They don't "need" a phone.

We somehow managed to make it through our tweens and teens without them.

There are people who've shot up their brows and stood upon their soapboxes to pontificate that teens do not "need" a car, too. For millennia humanity survived without cars, smartphones, the internet, or indoor plumbing, so it's true that they are not literally needed for basic human function. Throughout history tools have been invented and gradually become implemented into the fabric of everyday life in civilizations, and with their inclusions they've altered the way we interact and function. One of the adaptions is that the phone booths and land lines that were once prevalent are now virtually extinct because they have been replaced with the ubiquitousness of cell phones. In your childhood you likely had ready access to them but in mine I did not. I remember how the lack of pay phones complicated matters during Hurricane Sandy when cell phone towers were knocked down and internet connectivity was lost, and people had no way of communicating with the outside world. The majority of pay phones had long been removed from cities. That prompted them to reinstall pay phones so that people could have access to them in the event of an emergency.

Your kids likely utilize the internet even though it didn't exist as it does today in your youth, and they conduct their lives differently than you did at their age because of it. You've stated that you bought your son a car as a teenager, and that's your prerogative. My parents bought one for me when I was sixteen, not because I wouldn't be able to live without one, but because it provides clear benefit. They do not have to justify their parenting choices, and nor do you, or the many parents who buy smartphones for their preteen children. You do not have insight into their reasons. My younger sisters are 8 and 10 and already have phones, as do the majority of their friends. The phones are not merely a toy for them; they are valuable for communication, a safety measure, and an educational and productivity tool. A few examples - they can log in to their school's page where their teachers post helpful homework tips and information, class reminders, and other tips; they have apps for the Khan Academy; ones to help learn the state and country capitals; math worksheets; flashcards; apps that have helped them to learn Spanish; flashcards; unit converters; metronomes; apps for dance moves. They also use it to help gain more self-regulation such as with time management. They would survive without all that; they'd continue to breathe and have their hearts beat without all that, but it's about equipping them with something that has helped them to thrive.

IJWTS that neither you nor anyone else is the expert on which kids do or don't "need" phones. Some kids have after school events that necessitate communication between child and parent, including sports. I supplied my kids with a good phone by the time they were 12, and it was nobody's business whether my kid had a phone. It was between us as parents and the kid.

As for the rest of it - a parent who would give up contact with a kid isn't much of a parent. I have been really (for good reason) furious with each of my kids at different times, but as for cutting off contact forever - that would never happen. And I say that as a mother of an adult kid who is a Republican.

All true. In my family the kids have smartphones for the sake of our parents as much as for our own. They provide peace of mind and ease of convenience. My mom was an attorney for the FBI for years and knew that cell phones had been incredibly valuable in locating missing children. As soon as iPhones hit the market, she bought them for us. People did scoff, and she ignored them and kept doing her own thing as a parent. They used them to track our locations during the ages when we were old enough to be out of their sight and gaining some independence but young enough to still be vulnerable in the world. Knowing that our locations can be tracked has helped keep us honest in our teens about our whereabouts. We're trustworthy kids but fall prey to temptation like everyone else. They've used them several times in emergencies. When I was in a surfing accident my friend called my dad immediately and put him on the phone with the responders to explain what to do, and then he bolted over to us. (I have a very rare endocrine disease, and it's normally manageable but can be fatal if I'm not given immediate medical care in an adrenal crisis.) When my brother got his jaw broken in a baseball accident, his friend immediately called my parents and they rushed in. And then of course there are all the times when plans have changed, something has been forgotten, information needs to be relayed, or we simply want to say to one another than us having phones have been very handy.

Since my parents have been divorced since I was a baby, phones have helped us to remain in steady connection with one another. Each parent had steady, direct access to me, and that helped our relationships to flourish. We built routines into our days surrounding the phone. My mom still sends me a "you are my sunshine" text every morning as a nod to my early childhood years when she'd wake me up by singing the song. I'm off at college now and still text or chat with my parents (all four of them) on a near daily basis, not because that is expected of me but because we treasure being able to share our lives with one another. I've also maintained cherished relationships with my grandparents and extended family members, some of whom live abroad, thanks to us having smartphones.

When I was younger my parents did monitor my phone, iPad, and internet usage because that was responsible parenting, but they only looked for behavior that was destructive in nature to myself or to another child. They perfectly understand that children have feelings that need to be expressed, and that authority figures are frequently the source of a need to vent. I've written far worse over the years about my parents in texts than what this poor girl wrote about her stepmom, despite revering and adoring them more than anybody else. They read some of the texts I sent in my middle school years unleashing my temporary fury about them to my friends, calling them names, and declaring I'd never talk to them ever again and other childishness. Because they're mature adults with sturdy egos not swayed by the rantings of children they let it go. The only time I remember it being held onto was when my mom was actually amused by an insult about her I'd written to a friend. She didn't ground me, or take away my phone; she broke the tension through laughing and telling me she loved me. In their youth kids used diaries to vent out frustrations, but in ours we've used our phones. It's actually healthy, and is far better for relationship dynamics than letting emotions fester and then be vomited out all over the person you're upset with. I actually vent out many of my frustrations to them now. I just unloaded a tirade about one of my professors to my stepmom. They've respected our feelings and as much as possible have respected our entitlement to them and our privacy. They did confiscate my smartphone at times, but only temporarily. As with Cimorene, they'd take it away when it was causing a distraction to my school work, or because of using it late at night instead of sleeping. Their objective was never to inflict punitive damages but to teach us how to conduct and take care of ourselves.

And....haha about the Republican comment. If he votes for Trump you might want to reconsider. Jk. It actually delights my parents that my brothers and I have developed our own religious, political, and personal views and beliefs instead of merely adopting all of theirs as our own. They want us to be independent thinkers who evaluate and formulate opinions and convictions that are meaningful to us. My older brother and I still frequently go to our parents for guidance and advice because we value them, and we have no fear of them judging or severing ties with us, but I think it gives them joy that we can now self-navigate for the most part.

Btw - sorry this is long, haha. I needed a study break in between psets and massive papers.

 

[Ada Lovelace]

We are all up in our kids' business. But we've been upfront with them that it's how we plan to parent. Trust but verify. And we told them that we would be that way because we love them and it's our job to protect them while teaching them to be adults. We like them and enjoy being with them, but we are not their friends.

It's hard to relate that to this situation because my wife and I are not divorced. But if I'm going to err, it will be on the side of caution.

If your 12-year-old wrote a text to a friend, presumably because she was upset at that moment and it was cathartic to vent her frustrations, in which she expressed that she didn't like you or your wife and called you a name that was perhaps offensive but not profane, would you confiscate her phone for two years? When you were that age, did you or your friends ever say to another either verbally or through writing a note or in a diary entry that you didn't like a teacher or a parent or some other authority figure, and perhaps use a mild descriptive pejorative? In your youth, kids (and girls in particular) more frequently used diaries to unfurl their feelings, and good parents respected their privacy and only read them if truly necessary. Today more kids use their phones for the same cathartic venting as what diaries once provided. Because of the potential dangers and pratfalls kids can have due to the internet, children's phones require monitoring, but I still think parents should still have some respect for their kids' feelings. I also think that any discipline should be proportional to the offense and for the sake of cultivating moral development rather than merely being punitive. This thread is about a 12-year-old who wrote a text to her friend in which she stated, "I don't like his ratchet girlfriend or her kids." We don't know what events precipitated that text. As I wrote before, a friend wrote a similar text to a friend about her dad's girlfriend who was chronically bullying and degrading her, kicking down her self-esteem and causing much anxiety and turmoil.

 

[NightHawkeye]

This thread is about a 12-year-old who wrote a text to her friend in which she stated, "I don't like his ratchet girlfriend or her kids." We don't know what events precipitated that text. As I wrote before, a friend wrote a similar text to a friend about her dad's girlfriend who was chronically bullying and degrading her, kicking down her self-esteem and causing much anxiety and turmoil.

Yes. Many/most here seem to agree that both parents did some really stupid things in this situation. Maybe one parent is mostly to blame, maybe both parents share in the unfortunate situation. None of us really know for sure.

In any case the lessons seem clear enough. Parents shouldn't do stupid petty and vindictive things when kids are involved. Thing is, parents aren't always greatly different when kids are involved than when not. It's unfortunate, but true. Some people simply can't see much further than the nose in front of their face and react in knee-jerk vitriolic fashion whenever anything doesn't go the way they want.

God and morality can help with that ... but kids don't/can't generally teach their parents about such.

 

[Hetta]

There are are people who've shot up their brows and stood upon their soapboxes to pontificate that teens do not "need" a car, too. For millennia humanity survived without cars, smartphones, the internet, or indoor plumbing, so it's true that they are not literally needed for basic human function. Throughout history tools have been invented and gradually become implemented into the fabric of everyday life in civilizations, and with their inclusions they've altered the way we interact and function. One of the adaptions is that the phone booths and land lines that were once prevalent are now virtually extinct because they have been replaced with the ubiquitousness of cell phones. In your childhood you likely had ready access to them but in mine I did not. I remember how the lack of pay phones complicated matters during Hurricane Sandy when cell phone towers were knocked down and internet connectivity was lost, and people had no way of communicating with the outside world. The majority of pay phones had long been removed from cities. That prompted them to reinstall pay phones so that people could have access to them in the event of an emergency.

Your kids likely utilize the internet even though it didn't exist as it does today in your youth, and they conduct their lives differently than you did at their age because of it. You've stated that you bought your son a car as a teenager, and that's your prerogative. My parents bought one for me when I was sixteen, not because I wouldn't be able to live without one, but because it provides clear benefit. They do not have to justify their parenting choices, and nor do you, or the many parents who buy smartphones for their preteen children. You do not have insight into their reasons. My younger sisters are 8 and 10 and already have phones, as do the majority of their friends. The phones are not merely a toy for them; they are valuable for communication, a safety measure, and an educational and productivity tool. A few examples - they can log in to their school's page where their teachers post helpful homework tips and information, class reminders, and other tips; they have apps for the Khan Academy; ones to help learn the state and country capitals; math worksheets; flashcards; apps that have helped them to learn Spanish; flashcards; unit converters; metronomes; apps for dance moves. They also use it to help gain more self-regulation such as with time management. They would survive without all that; they'd continue to breathe and have their hearts beat without all that, but it's about equipping them with something that has helped them to thrive.



All true. In my family the kids have smartphones for the sake of our parents as much as for our own. They provide peace of mind and ease of convenience. My mom was an attorney for the FBI for years and knew that cell phones had been incredibly valuable in locating missing children. As soon as iPhones hit the market, she bought them for us. People did scoff, and she ignored them and kept doing her own thing as a parent. They used them to track our locations during the ages when we were old enough to be out of their sight and gaining some independence but young enough to still be vulnerable in the world. Knowing that our locations can be tracked has helped keep us honest in our teens about our whereabouts. We're trustworthy kids but fall prey to temptation like everyone else. They've used them several times in emergencies. When I was in a surfing accident my friend called my dad immediately and put him on the phone with the responders to explain what to do, and then he bolted over to us. (I have a very rare endocrine disease, and it's normally manageable but can be fatal if I'm not given immediate medical care in an adrenal crisis.) When my brother got his jaw broken in a baseball accident, his friend immediately called my parents and they rushed in. And then of course there are all the times when plans have changed, something has been forgotten, information needs to be relayed, or we simply want to say to one another than us having phones have been very handy.

Since my parents have been divorced since I was a baby, phones have helped us to remain in steady connection with one another. Each parent had steady, direct access to me, and that helped our relationships to flourish. We built routines into our days surrounding the phone. My mom still sends me a "you are my sunshine" text every morning as a nod to my early childhood years when she'd wake me up by singing the song. I'm off at college now and still text or chat with my parents (all four of them) on a near daily basis, not because that is expected of me but because we treasure being able to share our lives with one another. I've also maintained cherished relationships with my grandparents and extended family members, some of whom live abroad, thanks to us having smartphones.

When I was younger my parents did monitor my phone, iPad, and internet usage because that was responsible parenting, but they only looked for behavior that was destructive in nature to myself or to another child. They perfectly understand that children have feelings that need to be expressed, and that authority figures are frequently the source of a need to vent. I've written far worse over the years about my parents in texts than what this poor girl wrote about her stepmom, despite revering and adoring them more than anybody else. They read some of the texts I sent in my middle school years unleashing my temporary fury about them to my friends, calling them names, and declaring I'd never talk to them ever again and other childishness. Because they're mature adults with sturdy egos not swayed by the rantings of children they let it go. The only time I remember it being held onto was when my mom was actually amused by an insult about her I'd written to a friend. She didn't ground me, or take away my phone; she broke the tension through laughing and telling me she loved me. In their youth kids used diaries to vent out frustrations, but in ours we've used our phones. It's actually healthy, and is far better for relationship dynamics than letting emotions fester and then be vomited out all over the person you're upset with. I actually vent out many of my frustrations to them now. I just unloaded a tirade about one of my professors to my stepmom. They've respected our feelings and as much as possible have respected our entitlement to them and our privacy. They did confiscate my smartphone at times, but only temporarily. As with Cimorene, they'd take it away when it was causing a distraction to my school work, or because of using it late at night instead of sleeping. Their objective was never to inflict punitive damages but to teach us how to conduct and take care of ourselves.

And....haha about the Republican comment. If he votes for Trump you might want to reconsider. Jk. It actually delights my parents that my brothers and I have developed our own religious, political, and personal views and beliefs instead of merely adopting all of theirs as our own. They want us to be independent thinkers who evaluate and formulate opinions and convictions that are meaningful to us. My older brother and I still frequently go to our parents for guidance and advice because we value them, and we have no fear of them judging or severing ties with us, but I think it gives them joy that we can now self-navigate for the most part.

So much truth in this Ella. I agree with your parents and laughed when you said that your mom saw a comment about her and dealt with it in a positive way. That's really the only way to parent - with humor and understanding. It seems odd to me when parents forget entirely how it is to be young and passionate and full of angst. I was just one of those teens, and had a good humored mom who got it. I've tried to always hold her in my mind as an example of how to parent. I bet you take forward the parenting you've experienced one day and become a great mom yourself.

 

[Hammster]

If your 12-year-old wrote a text to a friend, presumably because she was upset at that moment and it was cathartic to vent her frustrations, in which she expressed that she didn't like you or your wife and called you a name that was perhaps offensive but not profane, would you confiscate her phone for two years? When you were that age, did you or your friends ever say to another either verbally or through writing a note or in a diary entry that you didn't like a teacher or a parent or some other authority figure, and perhaps use a mild descriptive pejorative? In your youth, kids (and girls in particular) more frequently used diaries to unfurl their feelings, and good parents respected their privacy and only read them if truly necessary. Today more kids use their phones for the same cathartic venting as what diaries once provided. Because of the potential dangers and pratfalls kids can have due to the internet, children's phones require monitoring, but I still think parents should still have some respect for their kids' feelings. I also think that any discipline should be proportional to the offense and for the sake of cultivating moral development rather than merely being punitive. This thread is about a 12-year-old who wrote a text to her friend in which she stated, "I don't like his ratchet girlfriend or her kids." We don't know what events precipitated that text. As I wrote before, a friend wrote a similar text to a friend about her dad's girlfriend who was chronically bullying and degrading her, kicking down her self-esteem and causing much anxiety and turmoil.

For two years? No. But it's hard to say if it would have been this long if the mom would not have intervened.

And I'm not defending the dad, necessarily. My point was more along the lines that we have different styles of parenting, and for different reasons. If some folks want to raise their kids and deliberately not be aware of what they are in to, that's their business. But some of the comments implied that if you didn't raise your kids that way, you were an overbearing parent. Which isn't true.

 

[Butterfly99]

I have taken away phones or computer access for kids for the same thing - not doing school work. Education rules in my home! You do your school work, you can do whatever you want (obviously within reason) afterwards. Of course, I only have one left that isn't an adult now, because I don't supervise my adult/college kids and their work/study. But yeah, if someone buys something it belongs to them. That's just like so basic, I don't know why it's even an issue.

If I grounded my kids for venting via text, oh my .... they would probably never have been ungrounded (and I would be grounded too!) But why was the dad spying on her texts anyway? Do parents actually do this?

Maybe it wasn't the dad who spied on the texts but his gf like w Ella's friend. She might have dropped a stink bomb about it & he took the phone away to please her. Kinda pathetic tbh cause a grown woman should be able to get over it. Bet she's said way worse about the girl than what that girl wrote in the text. Adult bullies are worse than kid bullies. No way, no how was it all actually about teaching his daughter right from wrong. Cause that man did a whole series of wrongs for her 1 "wrong" text.

 

[Butterfly99]

NOT GUILTY means HE IS NOT GUILTY.

Every not guilty finding at trial comes from the fact that there's not enough evidence to find someone guilty.

Wasn't OJ Simpson found not guilty of murdering his wife & the other victim? Then he was found guilty of murdering them when the families sued.

 

[Cimorene]

He did explain the whole thing to mom, but apparently did not trust her to follow through on the discipline.

Where was it stated that he explained the whole thing to the mom, but didn't trust her to follow through on the discipline?
That's the opposite of what Ella wrote in post, and her info has proven to be correct. She said the mom had stated she would have respected his parental right to discipline, but had wanted the phone she had bought and paid the monthly bills on to be returned to her.

If he told her he was planning on keeping the phone for two years for one "inappropriate text" that wasn't all that inappropriate, then maybe she disagreed. I doub that's what happened.

And from what I now understand, he was arrested a few hours after she reported the phone stolen, something I find extremely fishy. It would be nice if my friend could get the same consideration for his phone, n'est pas?

That's not what happened. The text was written in September of 2013 and he was arrested in April of 2015 after repeated efforts by the police and the prosecutor to him return the phone to the mom.

Nothing on the internet indicated what the text was. I still can't find an article that says what the text is, and most of them allege that the text was sent to the daughter of the dad's girlfriend. Perhaps Ella can link again to where the text was spelled out.

Obviously it was spelled out because she found it. I just thought it was strange that there was an entire week's worth of posts with some cruel and callous speculation about this poor girl, and that most important piece of information was never found. Is there a way to change the order of posts here? Or maybe you could edit your OP and put the facts in there that Ella got?

And to me, the text is still inappropriate and if any of my kids sent a text like it, yep, I'd take away their phone.

I read through this thread before it was sanitized, so you can add me to the list of people floored by the hypocrisy.
What was so inappropriate about the text? The word ratchet? Would you have even known what it meant if it hadn't been explained to you? It's not a profane word. Taking away a phone for an "inappropriate text" for a weekend, or a week, or even a month is one thing but nobody in their right mind would think that text deserved a punishment that is basically still going on 2+ years later since he never returned the phone.

 

[Cimorene]

Wasn't OJ Simpson found not guilty of murdering his wife & the other victim? Then he was found guilty of murdering them when the families sued.

There's been so much media about that show lately. I think that's what happened. He got away with murder in court because of the admissible evidence not being enough for proving guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. Then he got found guilty in the civil case. I think he had to pay the victims families. He's in prison now for robbing someone he'd sold his own things to.

 

[trunks2k]

There's been so much media about that show lately. I think that's what happened. He got away with murder in court because of the admissible evidence not being enough for proving guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. Then he got found guilty in the civil case. I think he had to pay the victims families. He's in prison now for robbing someone he'd sold his own things to.

Yep. Not guilty in the criminal trial, a lot due to racial issues with the police who handled the case (Mark Fuhrman) and some bonehead moves by the prosecution. There was enough reasonable doubt for a "not guilty" verdict. The family then sued Simpson in civil court, where the burden of proof is lower, for wrongful death and the family won that one.

Simpson has since been found guilty of other criminal charges relating to trying to steal back some sports memorabilia. He was given a 33 year sentence for kidnapping and robbery. He'll be eligible for parole after serving 9 years (I think either 2019 or 2017, I'm not sure exactly when they count him as starting his sentence).

Back to the original point - just because you are found not guilty does not mean you are innocent. Innocent means you didn't do what you are accused of doing. Not guilty means the prosecution couldn't show beyond a reasonable doubt that you did what you are accused of. It's an important difference.

 

[Neal82]

I read through the first couple of pages with posts containing a range of speculation about the text at the beginning of the week but have only skimmed through the remainder of the thread, so I'm not certain if anyone has revealed what the daughter in this now infamous situation actually wrote in it. She was not sexting; she was not bullying or belittling another child; she was not engaging in behavior that compromised her safety; she was not wild and out of control; she was not using profanity or vulgarity; she was simply venting to a friend about her father's new family.

The then-12-year-old wrote the text: "I don't like his ratchet girlfriend or her kids" in late September of 2013.

A "ratchet" is not a profane word, nor is it one that is appallingly crude. It's teen slang for a self-obsessed diva who lacks class and a clue. Yes, it's a pejorative but one that is actually relatively benign; it's not caught by the filters on this forum like many other words deemed offensive are, so it will not be redacted with "bless and do no curse" when I hit submit to this post. We do not have insight into the dynamics of that relationship to know how that woman treated this girl, and whether she had a valid reason for feeling as she did.

The content of the text has been readily available through published articles since last week, but I've gained some information that is not as publicly accessible through discussions of the case on a private site for students at my college who are part of the undergrad law association. I'll outline the gist of them now -

- There was a court order in place mandating that all articles belonging to the daughter, including that iPhone, be returned to the mother at the end of the weekend visitations with her father, Ronald Jackson. He violated that order.

- The mother stated she respected Jackson's parental right to discipline their daughter by revoking her phone privileges, but simply wanted her property to be returned to her (not their daughter).

- Over the course of several months repeated documented efforts were made to have the phone returned to the mother.

- Jackson was mailed a citation for petty theft, a class C misdemeanor, and ordered to return the iPhone.

- According to court documents, in January of 2014 the city's attorney office offered to dismiss the case with no additional consequences or conditions if Jackson returned the phone, which he refused. He instead hired an attorney and requested a jury trial.

- The case was first filed with the city court, but the prosecutor in the case asked that police file it as a harsher Class B misdemeanour in a county court in 2015 due to a repeated lack of cooperation from Jackson.

- When the police came to Jackson's door in the middle of the night in April of 2015 he was once again given the chance of obeying the order and relinquishing the phone to them, but refused and was arrested.

- The daughter was subpoenaed to testify by her father's attorney. It was not an act of filial treason, but an obligation to appear and not perjure herself.

- The judge's ruling was not a vindication of the father's actions, and should not be construed as such. There was a lack of evidence to continue the case. The mother has the receipts proving she purchased the phone and made the monthly payments, but it had been on the father's data plan.

- A police department spokesman stated that though the mother's fiancee is a police officer, that never came into play throughout the course of the investigation. He also stated the police did not want the matter to go into the criminal justice system, and would have preferred for the phone to be returned and the parents to have acted like adults and worked it out themselves.

- The father requested that his parental rights be relinquished. That case is currently pending.

- The daughter wrote him a letter in which she listed the Webster definition of a father, and stated that he never been any of those things to her.

She sounds amazing.

He sounds like a loser.

Thanks for providing that information, Stanfordella. Cearbhall, I agree. As a father, this man's actions disgust me.

 

[Cimorene]

I was thinking about this again just now because a friend is texting me venting to me about her stepdad. She definitely is saying much stronger things than what that poor girl said in her text, but you know what, it is all justified. She needs to vent about him, too. I'm still shaking my head anybody could possibly think that what that dad did was right. Legal, maybe. Right, no way.

 

[Hammster]

I was thinking about this again just now because a friend is texting me venting to me about her stepdad. She definitely is saying much stronger things than what that poor girl said in her text, but you know what, it is all justified. She needs to vent about him, too. I'm still shaking my head anybody could possibly think that what that dad did was right. Legal, maybe. Right, no way.

Do you think it's wrong for parents to set standards for their children?

 

[Murby]

I read the news story but did not read all the comments in this thread.

So here goes my take..
1) I don't believe a parent can be held for criminal charges for taking ANYTHING that belongs to their own child so long as they have custody of that child.
2) Seems to me his wife who called the police and IS a police officer, used her own influence to have him arrested and prosecuted. BIG LAWSUIT there.. Unlawful arrest, malicious prosecution, etc etc...

Arresting a parent for taking something away from their child? Are you kidding me? If I was this guy, I'd sue the living heck out of the police department and the city prosecutor, and once I won those lawsuits, I'd divorce the wife and sue her too.

 

[keith99]

I read the news story but did not read all the comments in this thread.

So here goes my take..
1) I don't believe a parent can be held for criminal charges for taking ANYTHING that belongs to their own child so long as they have custody of that child.
2) Seems to me his wife who called the police and IS a police officer, used her own influence to have him arrested and prosecuted. BIG LAWSUIT there.. Unlawful arrest, malicious prosecution, etc etc...

Arresting a parent for taking something away from their child? Are you kidding me? If I was this guy, I'd sue the living heck out of the police department and the city prosecutor, and once I won those lawsuits, I'd divorce the wife and sue her too.

He had visitation. There was a court order that he had to return all property when his daughter was returned to her mother.

But I guess violating a court order is just fine as long as it only impacts a child.

 

[Cimorene]

Do you think it's wrong for parents to set standards for their children?

Of course not, so long as the standards they set are reasonable. The consequences for not meeting them should be reasonable too. Few reasonable people would think that what this father did was reasonable, if they have the facts. The problem is that the OP here is missing most of those facts.

 

[Murby]

But I guess violating a court order is just fine as long as it only impacts a child.

Court orders are a joke. Not only are they rarely enforced, but there is rarely any penalty for violating them. You'd be surprised at how often they are just ignored and how little is actually done about it. Even in family custody cases, while they are enforced, there's very little penalty for violating them.. Only when the violation is a direct insult to the judge, or a bravado challenge to the court system, is anything ever done about it.

But now I understand..(thank you!) he didn't have custody.. Interesting.. So the father's rights have been reduced to nothing more than that of a strangers for the most part.