I used to be a theist, this is my testimony, God came to me, not I to Him. Or shall I say I cried out to him many times and cursed him for my seemingly terrible life. He must have either got sick of me complaining and just wanted to toy with me or he had compassion and wanted to show me His son since His son is the only way to salvation. I struggle with my faith, I am very confused about why God did this, not to mention I also went through some other miracles that were very unpleasant, and terrifying. This being one of them. Choose to believe what you will, but please read below what happened to me and know it opened my eyes to the one and only true God, and his son Jesus Christ. I had posted this on this forum in the testimony section, but I'll post it here for you to see.
"This is a pretty interesting story I'd like to share with those who are interested, how God turned an theist into a Christian believer, here is how I realized the existence of the one and only true God.
I'd also like to add that I was seeking God for quite a while before this vision, "Where are you God, where are you?" Asking Him if he even exists I would cry out to God asking him why things are so hard for me, I suffered a lot of abuse, and as a result suffered some form of brain damage, and as a result it makes life almost impossible to enjoy. I asked him if He got pleasure out of watching me squirm, and where is He when I need Him? I told God he was cruel and that he didn't care many times and I guess even now I still think that way. I'm trying to get closer to God and Christ now, but it seems so difficult.
After you read my "vision" I don't know if it could be called a vision as I was wide awake and conscious experiencing this, but please tell me your interpretation of what had happened to me. God also filled my head with strange thoughts, some of which confuse me into wondering why God would do that, he filled my head with the thought of my mother's head was buried by the bucket/faucet by the school, which confuses me as to why God would go that far. Many many strange and disturbing thoughts that God forced into my head until God released his wrath upon me. Here's what happened below.
God, being angry at me for my life of sin and also not believing in the one and only true God, showed me his wrath. My goodness, how scary this experience was. I was filled with a terror unlike any other, and I just couldn't explain what it was. I thought I was going to die from fear and terror alone. This fear lasted about half an hour If I remember correctly.
It started while I was in my room, I was watching a show called King Of The Hill a comedy cartoon not really strong on Christianity, but it is mentioned quite a few times during the series, and one of the characters, Luanne , was doing a Christian puppet show for children, and during her story with her puppets, the puppets were in a bad situation and Luanne said "Who wants to live in a world without God?" and then said to the puppets, "God does care, and he will show it!" As soon as she said that my body was filled with terror unlike anything I have ever known. Like God was squeezing me.
I walked out of my bedroom and sat for a bit in the living room, trying to understand what was going on. My grandmother told me she saw a child alone near the elementary school right near our house, and even though I was nearly dying out of fear, I decided to check it out. I didn't tell her what was happening to me, but I'm sure she noticed I was acting pretty odd for the time this was going on. That "child" near the school wall made me think it was actually a demon, waiting to drag me down to hell.
Now at this point I was feeling much pity for myself, and feeling pretty sorry for myself at this point because I wasn't sure what I did wrong to deserve this, or if this was even God doing it. I was confused. Right before I was about to leave the house to see if it was a young child alone out there, which I really didn't think it was, I heard on the TV a woman say, look at him! He's feeling sorry for himself! The audience in the background laughed. Which is exactly how I was feeling, like the television was mocking me. Coincidence? I don't think so. God sure does work in mysterious ways.
So I leave the house and walk on down across the field, to the school, and this child was nothing more than a bucket, and the bucket had a hole in it on the back and a faucet-like thing was poking out from inside the bucket hole. Must of been a faucet that was connected to the school wall, and a bucket connected to it for whatever reason. It looked like crimson liquid was dripping out from the bucket, not much, almost like blood. Here, I was at the height of the dread, and I walked back home, God, it seemed like such a long walk even though I didn't walk far, must of been from the dread, I was trembling.
My neighbor, Flow, had a beautiful setup on her lawn, the 3 wise men, Mary and Joseph, and Jesus in his manger. I felt like I had to go up there, so instead of heading back into the house, I walked up near where this manger setup was, and said, here I am, an unwelcome guest, forgive me. I walked up to Jesus's manger, I got on my knees, and begged for help, to help take this horrible dread away from me, when that didn't work, I got up, and walked away towards my house.
I turned around and I said to Jesus, I want to call you Lord. Immediately the dread and terror I was feeling was lifted from my body, I felt none of the dread I felt before. So, let me tell you my friends, I sure do believe in God now. I wonder if God did this out of love or if he just hates me and wanted me to suffer. I'm still confused and I can't figure out why God did this. Please help me understand."
