(Warning: Long conversion story lies ahead!)
I'm a (sort of) Catholic convert, I guess?
Though I was born into a culturally Catholic family, and attended a Catholic primary and secondary school, I still tend to think of myself as a convert. When I was a baby, I was baptised by our local priest. However, this was done more to pander to my Catholic grandparents than because of my parent's wishes. I sometimes joke that my parents are only 'census Catholics'. If you actually quizzed them on their beliefs, you probably would finish with thinking that they lean on the deist/agnostic/atheist line. Yet, whenever the census comes around, they always list themselves as Catholics!
That's not to say that I had no exposure to church and mass. When I was a child, I was brought to mass nearly every Sunday by my mother. My mother did this more out of a feeling of obligation (as when she was a child she was brought to mass) than religious sincerity. I even remember praying as a child, quite fervently at times. But, though I went to Catholic schools, my religious education was rather lacking. Once at mass, I recall the priest mentioning that Christ was God. When the priest announced this, I thought to myself, "Stop the mass! You mean, Jesus is God?! I thought he was only the Son of God!" Obviously, I knew nothing of the Trinity.
When I reached my teenage years, I went through a pretty rough time. Doctors were called in to have appointments with me, I went to hospital, and I was diagnosed with everything you could think of (it wasn't until recently that I was diagnosed correctly). This led me to fall out of belief in God (that admittedly, I knew very little about). I like to call those years my 'angsty, angry, atheist years'. But I still questioned whether there was a God or not.
Finally, I reached University. I felt lonely and out-of-place. Then seemingly out of nowhere, I thought "wouldn't it be nice to explore whether God really does exist?" At that moment, I was in the University library and literally surrounded by books, and a lot of those books were theology books. I began to read, and watch, and listen, and learn about different religions. I can honestly say, that I know a little about Islam, neo-paganism, Buddhism, Ba'hai'ism, Hinduism, do-it-yourself-ism, amongst many others!
I read the Bible. The Old Testament was hard, and a more than slightly bewildering. I could only read parts of it. I continued to the gospels. To preface this, I'm a huge devourer of books, and when I read the gospels - the actual words and teachings of Christ - I was hooked! It was like reading a best-seller. I kept on thinking, 'what will Jesus say/do next?'. It was an amazing experience.
This launched me into Christianity. Immediately, I was bogged down by the sheer numbers of different denominations. It was rather depressing, as I believed that one surely had to be right. I ignored Roman Catholicism firstly, because since I was brought up in culturally Catholic Ireland I just wasn't interested. But then again, the light clicked on inside my head, and I began to investigate Catholicism. What was this faith that drew such visceral comments from non-Catholics? Why was it so controversial? Eventually, I was drawn in by how Catholicism brings logic and mystery so perfectly together and in such beauty. I know some Catholics have a lot to answer for, but the actual faith itself is astounding.
And that's my story
. I'm still a University student, trying to learn more about my faith, and hopefully, I'll be soon attending Confession for the first time in years! Exciting times lay ahead of me!
