What to do when it feels dangerous to be with your spouse? I am now on a trip/holiday with my friend and colleague.
I felt I cannot stay at home anymore after she again started the divorce threatening. I am just too much sensitive for that stuff. for 48 hours it was in the air, with all explanations what she will do, who she will call to in the morning etc. and already after the first 5 hours I started to feel worried for my heart as it kept pounding crazy fast without any rest. Then the silent treatment, keeping me on my toes wondering will she start the process now. then she seemed to be with me again, just to start it again after being triggered by something she didnt like, how she wont change mind this time, it is final etc screaming, again getting little bit more peaceful, and then again threatening "or else its divorce" And then 15 hours later coming to say she is sorry and wants to be with me, and I think first time in life said to me she loves me. But after I wanted to tell her how damaging this is for me, again she became cold, telling me it is my fault.
This was just too much for me I guess after all that 2 days of emotional shock roller coaster. I felt a headache, and started to feel very strange. I could not speak clearly, my voice became mumbling and I had trouble speaking normally, I would say words that made no sense. I felt that something strange is going on, like some problem in my brain and she became very worried and wanted to call an ambulance. I still dont know what it was, some mini stroke or just a reaction to strong emotional stress but I knew I could not risk of one more repeat of this until I have rested and feel more strong again, so when my friend proposed a trip I just travelled and now after a week I start to feel better.
I already lost count how many times she has been threatening divorce, to leave me. 2+ years ago we met online on a site where girls are looking for a foreign man. after maybe 5 trips to her I proposed. It started to already after engagement, calling it off soon, just to take it back in days. Before wedding, keeping my on my toes about if the wedding will be or not. one month after wedding starting, divorce, how she leaves me. And promises of never doing it again, just to repeat. Long story short, my friends are worried that I have lost my confidence, how they can see how my posture has changed, and myself I am worried to see how my health is not so strong anymore, how I cannot enjoy things anymore, have lost most sexual emotions and just feel empty. And now this latest episode was really hard, as I started to feel that the way I seem to react to these threats seems life threatening, the amount of stress is just something I cannot even explain.
I have to admit I seem to have some emotional issues, strong fear of abandonment, and I often try to please people so they would like me and not leave me. It is very difficult situation at home. I feel I have emotional issues, and she is very immature. I suggested we could find apartment for her so that we could try to build our relations that way stronger first instead of living in same apartment but she said she will divorce then. I just dont know how to go forward in this situation. I feel we are still like strangers to each other. the emotional closeness and trust has not developed, and it just feels difficult.
I felt I cannot stay at home anymore after she again started the divorce threatening. I am just too much sensitive for that stuff. for 48 hours it was in the air, with all explanations what she will do, who she will call to in the morning etc. and already after the first 5 hours I started to feel worried for my heart as it kept pounding crazy fast without any rest. Then the silent treatment, keeping me on my toes wondering will she start the process now. then she seemed to be with me again, just to start it again after being triggered by something she didnt like, how she wont change mind this time, it is final etc screaming, again getting little bit more peaceful, and then again threatening "or else its divorce" And then 15 hours later coming to say she is sorry and wants to be with me, and I think first time in life said to me she loves me. But after I wanted to tell her how damaging this is for me, again she became cold, telling me it is my fault.
This was just too much for me I guess after all that 2 days of emotional shock roller coaster. I felt a headache, and started to feel very strange. I could not speak clearly, my voice became mumbling and I had trouble speaking normally, I would say words that made no sense. I felt that something strange is going on, like some problem in my brain and she became very worried and wanted to call an ambulance. I still dont know what it was, some mini stroke or just a reaction to strong emotional stress but I knew I could not risk of one more repeat of this until I have rested and feel more strong again, so when my friend proposed a trip I just travelled and now after a week I start to feel better.
I already lost count how many times she has been threatening divorce, to leave me. 2+ years ago we met online on a site where girls are looking for a foreign man. after maybe 5 trips to her I proposed. It started to already after engagement, calling it off soon, just to take it back in days. Before wedding, keeping my on my toes about if the wedding will be or not. one month after wedding starting, divorce, how she leaves me. And promises of never doing it again, just to repeat. Long story short, my friends are worried that I have lost my confidence, how they can see how my posture has changed, and myself I am worried to see how my health is not so strong anymore, how I cannot enjoy things anymore, have lost most sexual emotions and just feel empty. And now this latest episode was really hard, as I started to feel that the way I seem to react to these threats seems life threatening, the amount of stress is just something I cannot even explain.
I have to admit I seem to have some emotional issues, strong fear of abandonment, and I often try to please people so they would like me and not leave me. It is very difficult situation at home. I feel I have emotional issues, and she is very immature. I suggested we could find apartment for her so that we could try to build our relations that way stronger first instead of living in same apartment but she said she will divorce then. I just dont know how to go forward in this situation. I feel we are still like strangers to each other. the emotional closeness and trust has not developed, and it just feels difficult.