Confirmed bachelors (and bachelorettes)

Goodbook

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How many of us are 'confirmed bachelors' and what does that mean exactly.

Does it mean...you have a bachelors degree? Cos I have one. lol.
But the funny thing is, some people still get married with one. I have heard of some people just going to university to get their Mrs degree. How it works is this, women are told to go to university but not to study a topic but to scope out the men there, and then, because they are of eligible age (i.e. over 18) and young and attractive looking, the ones that don't have their heads in a book will steal the men and get them to be married.

When they fall pregnant as inevitably happens, they need to give up studying to look after the children and many don't even finish their degree. Some people wait till after, but what happens is...when the woman starts maybe earning more there's going to be arguments as often men don't like it when women are smarter than them. OR what happens is they both have their heads stuck in books, studying and lecturing that they don't have time for procreation and make more books instead.
 

Cearbhall

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How many of us are 'confirmed bachelors' and what does that mean exactly.
A confirmed bachelor is a gay man. I would imagine that this concept is dying out, since it's safer than ever for homosexual men (and women) to be in a relationship. They aren't doomed to a lonely life of secret hook-ups, and they can even marry.
 
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James of Arc

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I only have an Associates degree so I am not qualified.

I would not say I am going to be a bachelor for life as I don't know. I don't see me getting married any time soon but Gods will may decided that I need to be married.

Rumor has it that me and Cearbhall are destined to get married and she will have to submit to my every will.
 
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Goodbook

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What? Cearbhall and you? That was all under the radar.

I remember going to university and my gal friends, well one of them asked me 'any potentials' meaning any potential husbands. But at the time, I had my head stuck in a book and wasn't really looking around. Also if I kept looking for men then I wouldn't have passed my exams. its a myth that women can multi-task. They only say that cos the men aren't doing their jobs so the women HAVE to multi-task to make up for the shortfall. Or short staff.
Of course lots of people had their gfs and bfs at uni but usually not studying the same thing. It just never occured to me that I ought to be looking, and I was never told I had to marry anyway. They never had married couples at uni. If they did they had to wait till AFTER they finished studying. I think there was a rule against it. I mean wisdom cannot be imparted by marriage.

anyway, lots of women aren't encouraged to have an education seeing its useless for marriage, and I have to say, a lot of what I learned was useless. lol. They never taught you how to be a good parent at uni.
 
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blackribbon

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Women can multi-task ... and it isn't hard to date and make good grades if that is your priority ... it actually is easier if you are majoring in the same thing and taking similar classes because time together can be focused learning.

The married students that I knew always had the highest grades because they were focused on getting out of school and getting on with their lives....even when they were going to school full-time while working full time jobs.
 
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James of Arc

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What? Cearbhall and you? That was all under the radar

I was kidding because her life views are way different than mine. I was joking, we have no interest in eachother.

I remember that my sister was married when she went to college and they lived in the married dormitories but she never finished because she was more interested in her marriage and kid than school. She wanted to raise kids while her husband made good money.
 
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Goodbook

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Well thats the thing you can't study and realistically raise children at the same time. I know many mothers who started but didn't finish their studies. But you can study later in life and be an 'adult student'. I think there's less stigma now and more options to be able to choose your life path. You don't need to go straight from school to uni education. You can take a gap year. It never occured to me to take a gap year and people just didn't do it at the time. My mum pretty much controlled me and said I had to go to uni. I just did as she wanted as I didn't know any different and had no other option.

It also didn't occur to me that a bachelors meant...being a bachelor (for the purpose of study) but in the old days that was what it really meant for men. You were a scholar and weren't supposed to be married and you dedicated your life to becoming that, then a master, then a doctor of philosophy. You never left school, pretty much. Then you became a teacher.

I always wondered why, they call it bachelors but for women they don't call it being a spinster, and a masters, but they don't call it being a mistress, and then doctor, there's no female equivalent word. I still remember when being a female doctor was considered unusual and also the uni trying to encourage women in engineering. Its less male dominated now. All the arts faculty was pretty much women. But we called it a can't be arts. It was fun studying arts but basically to call a spade a spade its reading novels, plays and poetry and looking at pretty pictures, and then trying to be learned about it.
They even have a bachelor of film and tv studies now, where people just spend all their time watching movies and trying to analyse them. lol.

You come up with a thesis and it could be something really obscure that nobody will ever look twice at like 'symbolism in james joyce' or something like that. I remember collecting all these thesis for engineering and many of the students would dedicate their theses to Tolkien or something like that. Or you could do an experiment on rats if your were a doctor, get it published, and maybe someone would use it in a study and say well from what we know from this rat study cancer can be prevented blah blah blah, stuff you already know, but 50 rats had to die for it to be a valid study.
 
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Goodbook

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Coco chanel basically said education was wasted on women and we are better off sewing. Which is what spinsters actually were..cos they were spinning wool.

And funny thing is, now knitting and sewing are 'in' things to do as crafts. But they had to make an industry of it and ruin it for everyone by sending it to sweatshops in Bangladesh. So now you can't get decent fabric unless you pay through the nose for it and its cheaper to buy clothes ready made.

Home economics and sewing (textiles) weren't university subjects and I pretty much wasn't allowed to take them in high school because you could only take five and I needed bursary subjects. I just think its weird how I was streamed because I was good at tests and made out to be brainy and academic when I'm not really lol.
 
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Goodbook

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Great I just looked up the urban dictionary and it said 'confirmed bachelor' was a euphemism for a gay man.

Well thats weird because I was reading that CS Lewis was a 'confirmed bachelor'. So was he gay or homosexual but everyone was just too polite to say? I don't know. I thought it meant just someone with a bachelors degree. But then again, I was reading in his bio that one of his best friends was gay.

And then that movie 'the history boys' it turns out that all those boys in it are gay. I am weirded out now. I think Mum sent me to lesbian school! And come to think of it, many teachers at uni were gay and I only found out till much later, and they tried to make it cool.

arrgh! Now I have a stupid bachelors/masters degree pronouncing my gayness. Instead of a marriage certificate, I get duped into being gay. My sister isn't married either although she's living with a guy. And weird thing is, guys who come on to me never think about marrying me. Its always like I'm some weird thing they want to play around with or 'lets live together' mistress kind of arrangement.

And then, also whats weird is some girls are like really weird around me. Like they unhappy with their husbands or exes so I become like a weird husband substitute they tell all their troubles to.

Now I am horribly horribly *confused* or maybe I am possibly just too ugly. sigh.
 
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Goodbook

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Because lunatics make good housewives? I don't know. At least they know how to garden by the moon.

When you are single, you are sad
When you are married, you are mad.
I don't think there's really any alternatives because the alternative lifestyle is hippie ashrams and then you just sleep with anybody doing yoga naked. ugh.

I sometimes think about those amish places or cults like gloriavale and wonder if I would fit in there. If I were catholic they could easily send me to a nunnery. But non catholics don't do that. If your were raised christian you either get married real young or you get sent into deepest darkest africa as a missionary. Well in the old days. Nowadays africa, china and india can come to you and you don't need to go there anymore. I don't know.

I give up. I became a christian too late to be of any use to traditonal church. its not like I can go to bible college study theology and do my education all over again.
 
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Goodbook

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i was thinking it would be just weird to date a student.
I remember this girl telling me she dated a guy in college they both went to and she wrote all his papers for him. Im like what? Why would you do that??

I wouldnt want to do that. A guy that dates you because you have all the answers and hes too lazy to study is just wrong. I would just tell him to do his own homework.
 
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Chris B

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Because lunatics make good housewives? I don't know. At least they know how to garden by the moon.

No, because given my admitted character, no sane woman would want me as a husband.

C S Lewis wasn't gay.
Bachelor only means "unmarried" so "confirmed bachelor" only means someone, especially as they get older, unlikely to marry.
C S Lewis did marry, rather unexpectedly to all concerned, later in life.
The story made a superb film, "Shadowlands".


I don't think there's really any alternatives because the alternative lifestyle is hippie ashrams and then you just sleep with anybody doing yoga naked. ugh.
Love it!
I've gone more the "withdrawn hermit" route.
"Male intellectual recluse seeks similar female. Your ivory tower or mine?
Initially for meeting of minds.
If interested please send revealing picture of your bookshelves.
No, that was not a euphemism."
 
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Goodbook

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I found the book shadowlands in the church library. I havent seen the movie. So I might read that next. i dont really understand the fuss about cs lewis im sorry. I think i made all his fans mad when I said he was overated and doubleminded and questioned his theology.

I mean, scripture does not include what cs lewis thought about God, so dont know why ppl keep quoting him as if he wrote the Bible.
 
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Goodbook

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I had a friend that wanted to study a pHD in Anthropology. Maybe you two should meet. Shes catholic though. Her bookshelves would be all anthropology books coupled with Hunger Games.

I was concerned she was only wanting to do her phd as she had a crush on the professor. Who I believe is married. Yea. I thought I could reason with her, but i cant, shes catholic and Im not. So appealing to what it says in the bible wont necessarily work. I think what would work for a catholic is praying to a saint or something like that. Which im not in a position to do as I dont know the patron saint for lost causes.
 
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Cearbhall

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This particular confirmed bachelor is not gay.
Well, you're free to reappropriate the label for your own purposes if you want. Like I said, the original definition is falling out of use.
Great I just looked up the urban dictionary and it said 'confirmed bachelor' was a euphemism for a gay man.
Yes, I said that in the very first response of the thread.
 
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Chris B

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Well, you're free to reappropriate the label for your own purposes if you want. Like I said, the original definition is falling out of use.

Yes, I said that in the very first response of the thread.

Reappropriate? I've never encountered it meaning "gay"!
Oh well, language is ever drifting, being twisted or being murdered.
The English language is dead, long live the English language

At the reading of wedding banns, the two parties would normally be referred to as bachelor or spinster, widower or widow.

The neutral "single" could hide any amount of history... a bachelor has never married.
 
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Cearbhall

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Reappropriate? I've never encountered it meaning "gay"!
Probably because that meaning was already starting to die out when you were born. The term "confirmed bachelor" is associated with the Victorian era. It's not a term I would use to describe someone, though, because it still has that connotation.
 
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Chris B

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Probably because that meaning was already starting to die out when you were born. The term "confirmed bachelor" is associated with the Victorian era. It's not a term I would use to describe someone, though, because it still has that connotation.

But then it wouldn't have meant "gay" as "gay", more as gay. A happy man that women could not entangle into marriage.

I'm a confirmed bachelor: I've never married and I'm very unlikely to.
I'm also a cripple, an apostate, an iconoclast (if necessary) and peculiar (mainly the old sense, but I'll accept the new sense.)
 
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