COMEDY TIME What to do or say when a telemarketer calls:

[minisam]

I usually pick up, say no thanks, and hang up.

 

[JPPT1974]

Better look at another job!!

 

[minisam]

Better look at another job!!

lol, and they just carry on.

 

[Utah Knight]

i usually start with a spill from a compeating company

 

[TheSensitive1]

"Hold on there is a spider on my wall"....

take the reciever and try to wack it with the reciever several times...... lol

 

[symphonyb]

Laughing here because I think we all do the same thing,trying many of the things I read above including pretending I just 'cant hear you,hello? hello? must be a bad conection' it was terrible during election time! I was so tired of the political calls I actually lied and said im voting for ralph nadar just to get them away from me.

 

[brinny]

Can I come to your house for dinner?

 

[P.U.S.H]

I would keep saying hello, hello, hello, hey I can't hear you. Can you hear me? Hello, Hello lol they would usually hang up after I keep saying Hello.

 

[brinny]

hold on......*then go back to watching my movie*

 

[UberLutheran]

Listen to the entire telemarketer's spiel, making a note of the SECOND point.

When he asks you if you have any questions, tell him that you didn't understand anything past the second point.

He'll start there, and explain the entire thing again. Make a note of the THIRD point.

When he asks you if you have any questions, tell him you didn't understand anything past the third point.

He'll start there, and explain the entire thing again. Make a note of the FOURTH point, etc.

The trick is to keep the telemarketer on the line for as long as possible (since they get paid by how many items they sell or how many calls they make in an hour) -- and then, at the very end, to say, "Well, thanks anyway -- but I'm not interested!"

Trust me: they'll never call again.

 

[UberLutheran]

Interrupt the telemarketer and say something like, "I'm lonely. I'm really, REALLY lonely. What I'd really love is if we could get together after work and have a few drinks, because I'm really, REALLY LONELY and I'd love to have someone to talk to!"

It's even better if you can tape this telephone exchange. Most of the time this reduces the telemarketer to stammering and gasping -- before they hang up!

 

[UberLutheran]

Interrupt the telemarketer and tell him/her there's someone at the door.

Put the phone down on the counter.

Now, VERY QUIETLY, get your car keys, leave the house, and -- it's time for ice cream at the really good ice cream store; or coffee at the really good coffee shop. Take your time. Savor the ice cream (or coffee).

The telemarketer will have hung up by the time you get home.

 

[UberLutheran]

After the telemarketer begins his/her spiel, it's suddenly time for a "nature call".

Take the phone with you when you go to the restroom. You don't have to describe a thing: the sound will speak for itself.

I have never had a telemarketer call back after that.

 

[TheSensitive1]

Can you hold on my 2 stuffed animals are in a argument right now and my roommate says that she can not handle babysitting them anymore without me giving her a $50.00 raise.......

 

[firestar]

Sometimes I'll pretend to be my own daughter and tell them my mom isn't home

 

[doc329]

If they call before supper time, I tell them to call back at supper time

 

[Zandy]

I speak a different language

 

[BeachBlonde]

While I have you on the phone..would you like to buy a time share condo from us,let me explain..and really there is no catch..

 

[isaiah5213]

i have nothing to say. i have no credit cards, i do not write checks. how did you get my number? did they tell you you have no way of getting any money off of me? none?

 

[princess_biscuit]

we've just stopped answering the phone.
Our friends and family have learned to ring two or three times in rapid succession if they actually want to speak to us.