Chronic pain/illness' and depression seem to go hand in hand

[pumanator]

Being transparent in real life usually leads to rejection. I believe you are right about be authentic but its risky business...I have been asked to give my testimony several times in my mens study but have refused and I have found that it has turn some off from being friendly towards me and it is that reaction that tells me that I was right to play my hand close to the vest.

As to parents...my old man left this world on rotten terms with my and my brother...my mother did not have a death bed conversion, though I cried at the hospital I didn't at the services...I never measured up to her requirements of a successful person.

As to the damage "religion" does to the cause of Christ rather than a relationship, I hear you loud and clear. This last week with this nut case calling for the end of the world had the radio, tv and ppl at work mocking our Lord like never before...there is soooo much garbage floating in and out of "the christian" community it makes my head hurt.

 

[Colleen1]

Being transparent in real life usually leads to rejection. I believe you are right about be authentic but its risky business...I have been asked to give my testimony several times in my mens study but have refused and I have found that it has turn some off from being friendly towards me and it is that reaction that tells me that I was right to play my hand close to the vest.

As to parents...my old man left this world on rotten terms with my and my brother...my mother did not have a death bed conversion, though I cried at the hospital I didn't at the services...I never measured up to her requirements of a successful person.

As to the damage "religion" does to the cause of Christ rather than a relationship, I hear you loud and clear. This last week with this nut case calling for the end of the world had the radio, tv and ppl at work mocking our Lord like never before...there is soooo much garbage floating in and out of "the christian" community it makes my head hurt.

I hear you and thank you for your honesty. Yes, I agree on all counts and 'walking the road less traveled' is extremely difficult at times but I find there's a true peace and contentment in doing so. I feel closer to God and he knows me and loves me. It's why my signature is so important to me. Psalm 34:5 Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. As well, I think you are totally right; people who aren't safe, loyal or reliable give themselves away frequently when we even share the slightest bit of honesty concerning our boundaries. e.g. when you chose not to share your testimony. Funny, not funny at all actually, but the people I found who usually react this way are the people who have been hurtful in the past and continue in this type of behavior. They are unsafe. Like the people who have come to me after my brother's or mother's death and have asked prying questions and have given platitudes or certain behavior and advice not having an iota of an idea of the truth but rather rely on gossip and slander are the same unsafe people who then turn around and throw jabs after they've 'claimed' to be sooooooo very 'caring'. People very seldom get deeper things and many christians can use the Bible / religion to avoid the truth and examination of themselves rather than seeking examination and growth and therefore closeness to God and a greater knowledge of themselves.... and I guess others. This is not only frustrating it's very sad. They seem to have no idea what they are missing but real truth about ourselves can be very scary and avoided at all costs by some. But, by daring to face the storm we can make it through to the other side and find a beautiful rainbow and the smell of fresh renewed air. The 'christian' garbage makes your head hurt; the 'christian' garbage turns my stomach and make me sick. Some times walking into church and seeing stuff makes me despair.

 

[pumanator]

2 Timothy 3

1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.



Says it all. I need to be reminded to avoid these things in my own heart.

 

[pumanator]

LOL...I just noticed that this posting has over 7200 views...man...makes me wonder what ppl think that don't post >.<

 

[MaxxOmega]

I have been asked to give my testimony several times in my mens study but have refused and I have found that it has turn some off from being friendly towards me and it is that reaction that tells me that I was right to play my hand close to the vest.

Please don't take this the wrong way but it is nice to see I am not imagining this and that other people are experiencing the "misery" of the Christian fellowship experience as well.
I had only started to go to a mens group when I got sick and had to quit. Once I quit going I never heard from any of them again. Over the years I have had some Christians tell me and my wife "We like to associate with you. You don't put on a fake Christian face just because we are with you and you are real people". Sounds good. I an not going to "act a certain way" to impress others just to fit in with a cliche.

And as far as that kook blathering on about the end of the world, I think the scary part is just how many people followed him, quitting their job and selling everything. Bunch of screwballs who don't seem to grasp it when the word says "No one knows the time"...

 

[pumanator]

Don't get me wrong...fellowship is difficult and rejection sux and wish I could fit in. It is just that sort of problem that needs solved at church and it only gets done if we stay the course. What I have decided is to ask God to bring those that no one else wants to fellowship with...this is not easy either as it shows me that I fall short. It is beyond a shadow of a doubt the single hardest thing for us, the older we get, to "fit", to brave the crowd or to let someone, who maybe is not quite what we expected, in.

 

[MaxxOmega]

Don't get me wrong...fellowship is difficult and rejection sux and wish I could fit in. It is just that sort of problem that needs solved at church and it only gets done if we stay the course. What I have decided is to ask God to bring those that no one else wants to fellowship with...this is not easy either as it shows me that I fall short. It is beyond a shadow of a doubt the single hardest thing for us, the older we get, to "fit", to brave the crowd or to let someone, who maybe is not quite what we expected, in.

One big issue for me is that almost all my life I have been somewhat of a loner. I prefer to be with my wife and my pups, been like that for as long as I remember. Sure I "know" a lot of people as acquantances but for the most part I make sure it stops there. And I don't plan on changing that I suppose and now that I am very sick it's mostly impossible for me to be active with anyone anyway. No one wants a disabled person around for the most part I have learned...

 

[Colleen1]

2 Timothy 3

1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.



Says it all. I need to be reminded to avoid these things in my own heart.

Thank you for this discussion and being so honest. The scripture you shared reminds me of Matthew 10:16-39:

16 “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. 17 Be on your guard; you will be handed over to the local councils and be flogged in the synagogues. 18 On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. 19 But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, 20 for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
21 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. 23 When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. Truly I tell you, you will not finish going through the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.
24 “The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25 It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household!
26 “So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.[b] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
32 “Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. 33 But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.
34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn
“‘a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’[c]
37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

It may seem a bit of an odd or difficult passage to some but when you understand it and have stood for right / truth during difficult times and have faced retaliation, it makes sense and is even reassuring.

 

[Colleen1]

Don't get me wrong...fellowship is difficult and rejection sux and wish I could fit in. It is just that sort of problem that needs solved at church and it only gets done if we stay the course. What I have decided is to ask God to bring those that no one else wants to fellowship with...this is not easy either as it shows me that I fall short. It is beyond a shadow of a doubt the single hardest thing for us, the older we get, to "fit", to brave the crowd or to let someone, who maybe is not quite what we expected, in.

Very insightful. Thanks.

 

[Colleen1]

Please don't take this the wrong way but it is nice to see I am not imagining this and that other people are experiencing the "misery" of the Christian fellowship experience as well.
I had only started to go to a mens group when I got sick and had to quit. Once I quit going I never heard from any of them again. Over the years I have had some Christians tell me and my wife "We like to associate with you. You don't put on a fake Christian face just because we are with you and you are real people". Sounds good. I an not going to "act a certain way" to impress others just to fit in with a cliche.

And as far as that kook blathering on about the end of the world, I think the scary part is just how many people followed him, quitting their job and selling everything. Bunch of screwballs who don't seem to grasp it when the word says "No one knows the time"...

Thanks for sharing and 'no, you are not the only one'. I feel the the same way many times. I enjoy people but can be a loner when it comes to certain things as well. It can be risky business to open up at times. I believe there are times when God asks us to speak about difficult things and take risks but He is also interested in our safety and security as well, whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual. Finding a balance in life can be difficult.

 

[Colleen1]

It takes a lot of energy to grieve and process tough feelings and it adds to the pain and fatigue like a sack of bricks carried on my back. Right now I think I'll survive, so thanks to you guys. Much appreciated.

 

[LadyNRA]

I feel for you. Really! I mean, I have had my husband, who is retired--early--and doing most of the housework (and cluttering up the same), always telling me that I should do more. But then I remind him he wanted the job and now he's got it, especially now that I am still working full time and on the road for another 75 min. a day. I say all this to explain that with all the chronic illness garbage I go through, I just realized that I conserve energy for the important tasks of the day (namely work). When I get home, I dont feel like doing more than sitting in the chair and watching TV. It's not laziness so much...although that's probably part of it...it's that I want to enjoy my free time and not spend time home exhausting myself doing stuff my husband and kids should be doing, and having even less energy the next day since sleep for me isn't always restorative.

 

[Jazer]

It does bring you closer to God. Ive found myself praying more and more... but Im thinking that it brings you closer in a way where you beg for healing much more as well...not a closeness of the happiness that should be felt, but more of a "please save me from this dispair" closeness.

Isn't that what Jesus prayed: "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass away from me." Only He added: "Yet, not as I will, but as you will." Even if there was pain and suffering He was willing to serve God and do the will of God.

I remember one day reading: "In all things give thanks". We can all wonder how can I give thanks for what I am going through. Yet when we think about it we know that all things work out for the best. God is going to cause good to come out of it.

various afflictions and try to lead a normal happy life....but it is very hard and many times you simply just cannot "turn off the unhappiness switch".

We can not "turn" it off, but the joy of the Lord is our strength. He can give us gladness. He can comfort us in our time of trial and trouble. I would not want to go through any of this without the grace of God working in my life. We can have favor with God and His healing can work in our lives. Even if we do not get it all, we can get some of what He has for us.

 

[MaxxOmega]

Isn't that what Jesus prayed: "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass away from me." Only He added: "Yet, not as I will, but as you will." Even if there was pain and suffering He was willing to serve God and do the will of God.

I remember one day reading: "In all things give thanks". We can all wonder how can I give thanks for what I am going through. Yet when we think about it we know that all things work out for the best. God is going to cause good to come out of it.

We can not "turn" it off, but the joy of the Lord is our strength. He can give us gladness. He can comfort us in our time of trial and trouble. I would not want to go through any of this without the grace of God working in my life. We can have favor with God and His healing can work in our lives. Even if we do not get it all, we can get some of what He has for us.

Well said Jazer...

 

[pumanator]

the truth is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow but it is what it is, we are simply left with it in our lap and whether or not we let Him in on the carriage of that particular load what every it may be.

 

[Colleen1]

I feel for you. Really! I mean, I have had my husband, who is retired--early--and doing most of the housework (and cluttering up the same), always telling me that I should do more. But then I remind him he wanted the job and now he's got it, especially now that I am still working full time and on the road for another 75 min. a day. I say all this to explain that with all the chronic illness garbage I go through, I just realized that I conserve energy for the important tasks of the day (namely work). When I get home, I dont feel like doing more than sitting in the chair and watching TV. It's not laziness so much...although that's probably part of it...it's that I want to enjoy my free time and not spend time home exhausting myself doing stuff my husband and kids should be doing, and having even less energy the next day since sleep for me isn't always restorative.

Not an easy situation. the thing about illness is that at times, others want more than we can give. But then, this can be true even when we aren't sick. Take care.

 

[Colleen1]

the truth is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow but it is what it is, we are simply left with it in our lap and whether or not we let Him in on the carriage of that particular load what every it may be.

Well said.

 

[MaxxOmega]

...always telling me that I should do more.

My wife is excellent in this regard, always telling me to get more rest.
Anyone who dares tell me to do more is in danger of getting my foot up their rear end...

 

[pumanator]

I have so much that needs to be done at home that the house is the one doing all the yelling at me, lol. This summer I am going to file for unemployment and just accept what it brings in for the 2 months, staying on call for trips but working on what needs done at my own snails pace.

 

[Colleen1]

I have so much that needs to be done at home that the house is the one doing all the yelling at me, lol.

Same here. At times it seems to be 'freaking out' needing so much more care than I'm giving it. After all this time I still find it hard to know how to balance everything. I hope things work out for you this summer.