Christian masculinity

[RDKirk]

My dad was a seminarian, ordained in the Wesleyan Methodist denom. He also knew the bible really well.

That's good. My dad was/is an extreme alcoholic. So this thread is pretty personal when it comes to Christian men not acting like men. He knows the bible like the back of his hand, but he is emotionally manipulitive, belligerent when drinking, will spend all his money on drink rather than support his family. Etc.

So what is it about Christianity that makes men worse fathers than pagans?

Or if they were going to be bad fathers by nature, why did Christianity fail to make them better?

 

[Tallguy88]

So what is it about Christianity that makes men worse fathers than pagans?

I don't think it does.

Or if they were going to be bad fathers by nature, why did Christianity fail to make them better?

Even the devil can quote scripture. More to the point, people have free will to reject God.

 

[Paidiske]

Do you think some of the stuff about authority - and even texts like "spare the rod" etc - fed into some men's idea of how to be a father?

In my case the abusive parent was my mother, but she certainly knew how to quote Scripture to justify her abuse.

 

[Cimorene]

That's good. My dad was/is an extreme alcoholic. So this thread is pretty personal when it comes to Christian men not acting like men. He knows the bible like the back of his hand, but he is emotionally manipulitive, belligerent when drinking, will spend all his money on drink rather than support his family. Etc.

I'm really sorry your dad was abusive. Don't you think the behaviour of a man is more important than his style? I think you made this thread bc you got frustrated about the thread about Maybelline picking a man for its cover. To me if that man is decent & treats people right he's acting more like how a Christian man should act than the one who dresses the part but is abusive. (not trying to put down your dad at all, just asking the q)

 

[RDKirk]

I don't think it does.

You said a bad Christian father is worse than a bad pagan father.

 

[ken777]

The men in our family are expected to cherish their women by doing the tough manual stuff. If it's raining and the car has a flat tyre, I get out and change it. She could do it - and would do it - but I choose to do it.
We also practice old fashioned manly courtesy - get her a chair, give her your coat when its cold, carry her parcels, etc. Some might call it gallantry.

In 1 Peter 3:7 the wife is called the "weaker vessel" and of course she is physically, that is why domestic violence is usually the woman being abused.

But a more controversial point is that a man is harder emotionally to provide a balance to his wife who is more sensitive, more nurturing, more easily moved, and therefore more vulnerable to being deceived. My wife would give away her last cent, but I am more calculating. Not sure if that is always a good thing, but the man being more dispassionate can provide balance.

 

[Tallguy88]

You said a bad Christian father is worse than a bad pagan father.

Right, because he should know better.

 

[Tallguy88]

I'm really sorry your dad was abusive. Don't you think the behaviour of a man is more important than his style? I think you made this thread bc you got frustrated about the thread about Maybelline picking a man for its cover. To me if that man is decent & treats people right he's acting more like how a Christian man should act than the one who dresses the part but is abusive. (not trying to put down your dad at all, just asking the q)

He wasn't abusive to me, just to my mom and his other wives (verbally, not physically). Well, he got manipulative as I got older and could give him money for his habit. But he never hit me or berated me. He's just hard to say no to.

I do still like when he teaches me things like how to cook decent food cheaply or how to break down and re-roll cigarettes. Or how to make a pipe out of a can. I don't smoke, but it's still interesting to learn things like that. And he's a walking encyclopedia of baseball and football rules and history. So watching sports with him this past year or two has helped me learn some of the finer points of the game that I couldn't pick up by just watching.

 

[Cimorene]

He wasn't abusive to me, just to my mom and his other wives (verbally, not physically). Well, he got manipulative as I got older and could give him money for his habit. But he never hit me or berated me. He's just hard to say no to.

I do still like when he teaches me things like how to cook decent food cheaply or how to break down and re-roll cigarettes. Or how to make a pipe out of a can. I don't smoke, but it's still interesting to learn things like that. And he's a walking encyclopedia of baseball and football rules and history. So watching sports with him this past year or two has helped me learn some of the finer points of the game that I couldn't pick up by just watching.

All that stuff in the 2nd paragraph sounds nice.

 

[Tallguy88]

Do you think some of the stuff about authority - and even texts like "spare the rod" etc - fed into some men's idea of how to be a father?

In my case the abusive parent was my mother, but she certainly knew how to quote Scripture to justify her abuse.

I don't know. I wasn't physically abused and wasn't spanked much after maybe 5.

 

[Tallguy88]

All that stuff in the 2nd paragraph sounds nice.

He's in rehab now. Hopefully it works this time.