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Can I re-marry my ex-husband?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Life2Christ, Sep 21, 2010.

  1. Life2Christ

    Life2Christ Guest

    If Christians aren't under any laws then does it matter what I do...if I re-marry or even re-marry my ex-husband?

    If I follow Christ's commands of putting God above all and loving my neighbor, does it matter who I RE-marry as long as they are a Christian?
     
  2. FallenPaladin

    FallenPaladin New Member

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    It depends on whether God recognizes the divorce as valid or not.
     
  3. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

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    Yeah, it depends on the circumstances. If your marriage to him was legitimate, then yes. If not, then no. Here is how we determine that:

    "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." - Matthew 5:32

    "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." - Matthew 19:9

    "To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. " - 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

    These commands go both ways for husbands and wives. Marriage is for life. We can't marry and divorce and find someone else and think that God canceled our first marriage.
     
  4. Bulucheke

    Bulucheke Stranger in a strange land

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    Not enough info. Remarrying someone you were once married to and get divorced from is frowned upon though.

    Deuteronomy 24:1-4
     
  5. alan650

    alan650 Junior Member

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    I don't know if you have married more than once but if this guy was your first husband and the two of you have reconciled then I would say God looks well upon this marriage since this was your original marriage anyway!
     
  6. Life2Christ

    Life2Christ Guest

    Well we haven't reconciled but I wanted to ask the question anyways in case one day it should happen. He's really my only option for a husband since I'm not marrying anyone else as long as I live.
     
  7. Peacedove

    Peacedove Newbie

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    The best advice I can give you is to earnestly seek the Lord on this one. After my divorce (my husband left me for another woman) I had lots of christian friends telling me that it was ok for me to marry again but that was not my understanding of the scriptures. I got so fed up with it all and became very confused so eventually I said to the Lord "If you want me to marry again then you are going to have to show me in the bible and without any doubt at all" Secretly I thought 'this is impossible because no where in the bible does it say this sort of thing - WRONG - not long after God brought out a verse to me which read 'therefore I will give their wives to other men and their fields to new owners' You can imagine my shock and surprise but some years later along came the man who I believe God intended for me. When God tells us directly their is no indecision and no confusion because it comes in ways which confirm it so strongly we cannot misunderstand. Asking for advice from other christians is commendable and I would advise it but in the final event please get God to confirm this to you in a way you cannot misunderstand and in a way that you can keep going back to to reafirm your decision. God bless you :groupray:
     
  8. Life2Christ

    Life2Christ Guest

    Wow Peacedove. That is amazing. Do you remember where that verse can be found?
     
  9. Peacedove

    Peacedove Newbie

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    Sorry I can't remember and I can't find it in the small concordance at the back of my bible but I will keep looking and let you have it when I find it. I think it was in the OT somewhere but it is such a long time since now and I have got a different bible, it was underlined in my old one. :blush:
     
  10. Peacedove

    Peacedove Newbie

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    Jer 8:10 found it in the bigger concordance. I should have remembered it was in Jeremiah becaue the Lord has spoken to me so much through this book. :clap::bow::clap:
     
  11. dobieman0488

    dobieman0488 Member

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    it's still adultery, even your ex husband, remarriage is adultery if the prior divorce wasnt for biblical reason

    sadly, you can commit adultery, it's adultery on the committment, with a new commitment
     
  12. TheDag

    TheDag I don't like titles

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    It is very sad that so many christians get caught up on petty little issues like this that Jesus spent so little time talking about and ignore the things Jesus spent alot of time talking about. There is virtually nothing in the bible about this compared to social justice issues. I would say if the situation arises that you and your ex-husband are willing and able to remarry go for it. make sure your focus is on God and that the marriage will not prevent you from fulfilling God's will and purpose for you. Focus on caring for others especially "the least of these" like homeless, abused, children and others that society in general see as no hopers.
     
  13. kitty4038

    kitty4038 saved by grace

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    Do not let over zealous fundamental Christians stop you from finding a good and happy life with someone you love. Do you really beleive that this will keep you or anyone else out of heaven?

    I think people try and be so religious, like who can be the most pious. No make up, no pants, don't do this or that, yet what are their open or hidden sins?

    Each denomination will tell you something different. Each church will too. Legalism is running rampant today and people are scared of these folks. Everyone is trying to be holier then the next person. But you will find alot of Christian churches in many denominations, where people have remarried and are serving the Lord and telling others how to be saved.

    If you love this man and you both pray for guidance, and feel it is what God wants then go ahead. He who is with out sin , let him cast the first stone. That is still true today, but not adhered to.
     
  14. alan650

    alan650 Junior Member

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    Where in the Bible does it say that recommitting yourself to your first husband is adultery? In God's eyes they are still married because that was her first and only marriage. If they were to reconcile God would bless the union.

    Explain how you can commit adultery on a commitment. Adultery is being with someone who isn't your spouse.
     
  15. JadedSword

    JadedSword New Member

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    If it was true love, then marrying anyone else was adultery.

    People act like they can't tell when people are in love.


    So they claim otherwise. They claim it does not exist.

    And surprise, surprise, the world is full of strife and pain.



    This kind of logic escapes them.


    Either they are as stupid as they pretend to be, or they are just that greedy and evil to want it to not exist.


    Which is really detestable if you think about it considering how joyous such relationships are. As God intended.
     
  16. Verticordious

    Verticordious Newbie

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    You need to reconcile your differences with him by taking responsibility for the things in the marriage that you did wrong, and have him take responsibility for the things in the marriage he did wrong. In most situations, both parties are at fault. Rarely is only one party at fault, so don't try and minimize your contribution to the problems. (And use common sense, of course. If physical violence was involved, then take someone with you when you talk to him.)

    Ideally, though it won't happen over night, you guys will be able to repair your relationship. It will likely take a lot of work, but there isn't any marital problems that two Christians can't overcome as long as they are willing to swallow their pride and work together, which is something Christians should be willing to do. A professional marriage counselor is always a good idea.

    Of course, it is possible that he may refuse to take responsibility for his actions and not want to reconcile with you. If that is the case, perhaps wait a week or two to give him time to think about it and then try again. If he claims to be Christian, then it would also be helpful to contact a mutual Christian friend to talk to him about it as well. If he still refuses to reconcile with you then you are free to pursue other relationships.

    Marriage is intended to be a lifelong commitment. The important thing is that you do not take marriage lightly, and that you aren't just ending it because it is inconvenient or boring. Even in cases of marital unfaithfulness you should still give the other person a chance to repent. If the other person simply refuses to change their behavior, however, then you are free to divorce and re-marry. God knows you cannot control another person's actions, so as long as you have made a genuine attempt to reconcile there is nothing more you can do. God doesn't expect you to remain single because of someone else's sin.
     
  17. ChristieP

    ChristieP New Member

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    I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with you. The following verse from 1 Corinthians plainly states that reconciling with an ex-spouse is the only acceptable form of remarriage less the ex-spouse is deceased. I know this original post was from two years ago, but it may still be helpful for someone else. Thanks!

    1 Corinthians 7:10-11
    To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
     
    amandatea likes this.
  18. BFine

    BFine Seed Planter Supporter

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    *I don't even think re-marriage enters into the picture yet...
    after my first marriage ended, I had some work to do on me
    and my attitude towards my ex.
    There would be no point in seeking someone else when I was bitter
    towards him and in denial of my own part that I played in the failure of that marriage.

    You see...
    I knowingly married a man who wasn't a Christian and I suspected he
    was "crafty" to begin with but I had on those romantic glasses and told myself
    I could change him...oh how wrong I was! I allowed my "feelings" of desperation to lead me down a path I shouldn't of trodden...I had to learn things the hard way.

    I don't want that for you, so Check yourself-- Have you taken responsibility for your share of the stuff that contributed to the fall of the marriage?

    How have you grown as a Christian woman since you and your
    husband divorced?

    Are you now able to say: "I've forgiven my former husband for the wrongs he committed against me and I've successfully worked out my animosity towards him?

    If the above "issues" aren't resolved-- there's no point in seeking anyone for marriage.
     
  19. HiLo

    HiLo Newbie

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    You're not a Jew. Follow your heart. :thumbsup:
     
  20. amandatea

    amandatea Legalist extraordinaire :s

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    MY understanding is that if your spouse dies, you are free to remarry and if your spouse commits adultery, and you can't work it out (they're not cooperative) you are free to remarry eventually. It's better if you can work it out because God hates divorce but if you can't, then you're not longer obligated to be part of that marriage. This is because marriage is a picture of God's love and devotion to his people. Even when we "cheat" on him, he always takes us back but he will never force us to be with him. Does that make sense?

    To the OP, I believe that God would have no problem with one remarrying the same spouse again. This is because of the explanation above^