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Can a Christian marry a divorced person?

Discussion in 'Non-denominational' started by Eurasia, Aug 5, 2008.

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  1. Eurasia

    Eurasia Living in hybrid space

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    When is marrying a divorced person acceptable and when is it considered wrong? What if a Christian married a divorced person (let say the divorced person initiated the divorce based on irreconcilable differences) would the Christian be living their life in sin if they continued to stay married to that person or could they stay in that marriage?

    Discuss.
     
  2. Bellicus

    Bellicus Account no longer in use

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    I can't see how there is anything to discuss in this. Jesus said it pretty clear that if someone marries a divorced person, they are committing adultery. The only thing that could justify it is if the divorced person already had divorced because of adultery. At least that's how I've view it when reading the bible.
     
  3. Shiversblood

    Shiversblood Civil rights activist

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    Looks like you have to cancel the wedding plans...
     
  4. pgp_protector

    pgp_protector Noted strange person

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    Hmm so do I stay Or break up my family ?
     
  5. Shiversblood

    Shiversblood Civil rights activist

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    Honestly, I think this is one of the sins that is pointless and nobody follows. If your in love with someone you are not going to drive yourself crazy just because in the past they have a divorce under thier belt. People make mistakes. God is all about forgiveness. Why can't you forgive someone for jumping into a bad marriage, and then having the courage to get themselves out of it? Ofcourse this is only my personal view and may go against some sects of relgions.
     
  6. JDIBe

    JDIBe Senior Member

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    Luk 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

    I don't see much wiggle room here. There really isn't much to discuss. Where the tricky part comes in is when you find yourself already in the situation when you discover Christ's teaching.

    A question: "Is there such a thing as a "pointless" sin? Does sin begin and end with what God says, or is it tied to current prevailing moral standards?

    If you are "in love" with someone you'd BETTER drive yourself crazy if they have an (unscriptural) divorce in their past! God expects us to take our vow of marriage seriously. Not only that, He expects us to take OTHER'S vows seriously as well.

    I think you and I define "courage" a little differently. ;)
     
  7. Shiversblood

    Shiversblood Civil rights activist

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    What if her husband is a jerk and at times distant, or is just a moron and is no longer the man she married all those years ago? And gets divorced. She MUST be alone the rest of her life? Does not seem realistic to me. And I used the word Courage because, what if he is emotionaly and/or mentally abusive.

    The Christian must drive him/herself crazy you are saying? You are saying, well it looks like you have a black mark on your Christian walk thus I can not marry you because of a past divorce, even though we both love each other God tells me I must end this and cancel all wedding plans. ....?

    Why would someone do this?
     
  8. Jerrell

    Jerrell Minister of Christ

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    1co 7:9 "for it is better to marry than to burn"
     
  9. Shiversblood

    Shiversblood Civil rights activist

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    You don't know if Pgp_protector is going to hell or not. You can't say someone is going to hell because only God can judge that. Out of all the things to go to hell for you think this is going to make someone go to hell?
     
  10. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

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    "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." - Matthew 5:32

    Not unless that first spouse cheated.
     
  11. Jerrell

    Jerrell Minister of Christ

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    My pastor taught on this and I also wrote a chapter in my book about it. But you cannot isolate scripture. You must take them all as a whole and try to understand. First you must look at what God allowed in the OT, and then look at what Jesus taught and then moreover to Paul. Jesus would not come to refute what GOd had established. That's why Jesus opened up saying what he said "no you cannot divorce for ANY cause."

    I would go on but I have to work....be back later
     
  12. JDIBe

    JDIBe Senior Member

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    Shivers,

    Marriage is more than a simple expression of love for another person. It is a promise and a commitment before God to another person. ("till death do us part...") If one promises to love another "as long as I feel like it", the promise is useless and therefore should not even be made. (All lovers instictively know this. Think of all the love songs that promise to love "till the end of time"....)

    Having been married for 19 years (but not claiming to be an expert...) I can confidently say this..... NONE of us are married to the same person we were married to all those years ago. A husband or wife is not loosed of their commitment when the other simply becomes "inconvenient", "not the best option", bedridden, or depressed. We are called to love our spouse, even in the moments we do not "like" them.

    As for marrying a moron, I simply say..... DON'T MARRY A MORON! Get to know your prospective spouse as well as you can BEFORE you marry them! Go to premarital counseling before you marry. Do not assume "it will all work out". Do not get yourself in a situation years down the road that requires a lot of hard study and prayer.

    As for being alone, there are worse things in life.

    Being in a good, Christian, marriage is perhaps the closest thing to the intimacy (and I'm not talking about sex) we will experience with each other in Heaven. Being in a bad marriage is the closest thing to Hell a person can experience on earth.

    Unfortunately these days, young women rarely think much about what happens past the wedding ceremony and young men rarely think about what happens past the wedding night....
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2008
    Cris413 likes this.
  13. Ryan897

    Ryan897 Drummer For Thresh-Hold

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    well i look at Matthew 5:32 and would say that unless the person devorced because he/she was cheated on i have to say no they cant its a sin.

    BUT Deuteronomy 24:1-5 talks about taking a new wife after sending the old one away.

    BUT BUT in Matthew 19:7-11 it repeats matthew 5 32 but matthew 19:11 is kinda confuseing i dont understand it, it says ... "But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given."

    in the old Testament its ok.
    in the new Testament its not.
     
  14. Shiversblood

    Shiversblood Civil rights activist

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    What if a women is in a very unhealthy relationship, he yells at her all the time, he sometimes beats her, has stopped being a christian and now drinks all the time, always brings her down, never brings her happyness only sadness, but he has never cheated. She must stay in relationship? He never lets her have friends, doesn't like her to leave the house much, gets violent with her if she leaves, often accuses her of cheating even though she didn't, she comes home one day after just spending time with friends and he beats her and says, "You were cheating!" but she wasn't. Yet she must stay?

    This is slavery.
     
  15. JDIBe

    JDIBe Senior Member

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    Shivers,

    What if a woman gets older? What if her body starts to show the ravages of time and childbearing? What if I happen to meet that one special person that I should have ended up with in the first place, my "soulmate"? (who just happens to be 20 years younger...) What if my wife is no longer the person I married, full of life but is tired all the time and no longer fun? What if she yells at me all the time and is "emotionally and mentally abusive"? What if I have aged a little more gracefully than her and can "do better"? What if I want to "follow my dreams", and she disagrees with me?

    What if my wife is bedridden and I must take care of her? What if this brings me nothing but sadness every day? What if she is a financial drain on me due to her excessive medical bills? Must I be a slave to her needs?

    Don't I have a right to be happy??

    There are a lot of sad stories people tell to justify why they should be able to do what they want. Quite often it takes the form of "Well if THEY can do it in their situation, then I can do it in mine."

    My point is the DEFAULT reaction between two people in a Christian marriage is to try as hard as they can to work it out, to make that relationship healthy again. Not to throw in the towel when things get tough. This is almost impossible if only one of them feels this way. It requires two.

    Now with regards to physical violence, I would never suggest that someone should be forced to stay in a situation where their life is in danger. I believe that in such cases, a separation and much prayer is necessary. Hopefully that other person will come to their senses. But, it does not give the person the right to go out and get married again. (As I said, there are worse things in life than being alone...) One does not ignore the "pointless" commands of Jesus because they are inconvienent.

    Now why do I seem to be picking on you? :) I assure you it is only because I have your and your future wife's best interests at heart. (if you are not already married). The absolute best way to solve the sticky issues that arise with divorce, is to avoid them in the first place! An ounce of preventative medicine is worth a TON of cure.

    The choice of lifelong mate is the single most important choice you will make in this life, outside of your decision to follow Christ. Use your head as well as your heart. Find a good Christian woman and make sure that your future wife understands this is for life and both of you conduct yourselves with each other accordingly. If you feel otherwise, make sure she understands your views on divorce BEFORE she marries you. Because ultimately, marriage is not primarily about sexual infidelity. It is about being honest. It is about making a promise and keeping it. How can one expect to rightly deal with urges of a sexual nature, if they can't even find the strength within them to simply be honest?

    I sincerely hope that someday you will find a good Christian woman to spend the rest of your life with. I hope she enriches your life, and helps you in your Christian walk as you will help her. And most of all, I pray that you never have to deal with the issue of remarriage in your lifetime. It is a painful, difficult thing to contemplate when it personally affects you or someone you love.

    Good luck and God bless you.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2008
  16. Jerrell

    Jerrell Minister of Christ

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    Keep in mind that Jesus was talking about Ideal. He went way back to Genesis. And used Adam and Eve as an example. IF TWO PEOPLE who were created for each other were to marry. Be saved. Claim God. and Practice their faith. There would be no reason for divorce. However if one is not saved, Paul warned that we should not be unequally yoked (2 Cor 6:14). However let's remember that Jesus was responding to the question, "Can we divorce for ANY Cause." Jesus responded saying No! You can only divorce if your spouse has commited Sexual sins. If your spouse has cheated on you (and seeing how America behaves I won't be surprised if most have) then when you divorce you are not seen as a divorcee in God's eyes and you have the right to re-marry IF you divorced for the right reason in God's eyes. However, God wants you to be in a home of peace. And will not FORCE YOU, or HAVE YOu to remain married in a abusive relationship. God is not a God of Forced law, but a God of Peace and love. I am speaking of my own now, but I beleive that God wouldnot condemn a wife for divocing her huaband because he abused her. Everyone has their reasons, and they should take them to God in prayer, NOT TO THE PRIEST or PASTOR, but to GOD. After all, a Christian ought to be able to love. Always make sure you are marrying somebody that's saved. THat is not always full-proof (because people fake saved)...
     
  17. Shiversblood

    Shiversblood Civil rights activist

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    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    *Falls to knees and vomits.*

    I'm a guy, I was just talking about hypothetical situations because Usually only the man beats the women because he is naturally stronger. The CF character in the left is suppose to be me. And I have that blue male circle by my name.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2008
  18. JDIBe

    JDIBe Senior Member

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    Ahhhh......(also falls to knees and vomits)

    Sorry about that dude, saw the striped-socks girl and wasn't paying attention like I should have.

    (clears throat) ...So, how about those Cowboys this year......
     
  19. noparty

    noparty Senior Member

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    Yeah, I'm a pretty liberal dude and it's certainly not my place to judge, but scripturally speaking, this one's pretty cut-and-dry. It's even in red letters. :)
     
  20. Corin

    Corin New Member

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    Yep. :)
     
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