I got banned from recovery because of my clonazepam thread because I talked about something I should not say to not trigger, that's how I understood it, so I should not trigger. But I used cannabis half my life now, and I just can't seem to stop. Many of my old friends are drug addicts and on heroin now, so I'm respected because I only smoke cannabis. But I've also been addicted to benzodiazepines for about 2 years now, by getting Valium from the doctor for a year and then he just stopped it. So I had to buy illegally to avoid withdrawal and got addicted to Klonopin. I tried 4 or 5 times to - with help from doctor - to decrease the dosage of Klonopin or Valium, but it didn't work. If they didn't give it to me, then I had to get it on the streets. So my doctor even gave me doses of Klonopin where he clearly said "This will make you high" and it was great, but I crashed and had adverse reactions I think I lost my mind or something and kicked in the door of my docs office after he said I could not get Klonopin if I couldn't remember the appointments, and both benzo and cannabis affect memory, so I got really bad memory. So he punished me by giving Valium instead, and demanding urine samples free from ethanol and cannabis, and I just honestly said I could not stop smoking, since I've been smoking since I was a kid, and the ethanol thing was just stupid since I was no alcoholic. And now I have to use illigal substances that are much stronger to keep going. I found a new doctor and hoping I can get prescriptions on benzos and just not have to worry about it, then the problem with drinking to often would go away too. If I got enough benzodiazepines, then drinking seems like waste of money.
I got no idea if I broke any rule by describing my life like this. I'm just looking for advice, so don't ban me or anything if I wrote anything wrong.
I got no idea if I broke any rule by describing my life like this. I'm just looking for advice, so don't ban me or anything if I wrote anything wrong.