Being single in 40's trying to find purpose... Anyone feel this way??

[watergem40]

So I find myself at 42 really struggling to find my purpose. I wanted to so much to be married by now but it never happened. I really desired to be a wife and have a big family. I can no longer have children *thank God I have my daughter*, but she is 20 and really is just living her own life now, she doesn't need me as much. Now that I have given up on that dream, I just don't know what to do with myself. I have no family that cares, thankfully I have a couple of good friends.

Anyone else feel this way? OR Has anyone felt this way and figured out how to find purpose?

 

[Peripatetic]

I'm not single, but I can assure you that your feelings are not unique for people in our stage of life... married or not. The first half of our life is often focused on some plan that peaks right about now. But when we get here, we realize that it didn't turn out the way we'd hoped. My kids no longer require most of our attention either, so finding purpose and some kind of new direction is a struggle. And loneliness is there too... sometimes it seems like just me, but I'm guessing not.

That's why my faith is so important. It's the one anchor that helps me make sense of all the disappointment. When in doubt, I remember that I still have a LOT to learn, and that's always a good place to start when it comes to purpose.

 

[aflower4God]

Oh my gosh I totally know this feeling, I am SO DREADING my 40th birthday in, a little under 2 months away cause I have absolutely NOTHING to say about my life, never married, no kids, and no job (cause of severe panic disorder). I have been so depressed about this issue, thinking "Wow I must be taking up space in this world". This has even affected my health as I have high heart palpitations. Being almost 40 is VERY hard for that VERY reason. I know how you feel in many ways (((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))))) to you.

 

[watergem40]

Thanks Peripatetic. I really would not have thought a married person could relate! What you said helps because all I do lately is go to work and read the bible, watch my favorite pastors or read Christian books. I am trying to learn, learn, learn because honestly, I feel this is my last shot at trying to be happy and feel useful, if that is even possible anymore.


Oh aflower4God , I am so sorry. It does make me feel less lonely though knowing there are others out there that have the same struggles (hope that helps you as well). I am sorry for your medical issues as well. I deal with pain everyday from 5 herniated discs after a car accident and osteoarthritis, oh yeah and my spine is not curved like it is supposed to be. It is hard to have emotional and physical pain everyday but I have realized that God has to have me here for something!!! Just like all of us. I mean wouldn't he just take us to heaven if we were all done?

 

[aflower4God]

((((((((((((((watergem))))))))))))))))) Awww thank you for your advice sweet sis. I AM SO VERY sorry that you have to deal with that physical pain, I will def. pray for you sweet sis. God bless you

 

[wort01]

watergem, I too am asking myself those types of questions. I will be 43 this year, and am currently in the middle of a divorce. we didn't have any kids, but that doesn't make it any easier. I had thought that at this point in life I would have it all figured out, but instead, I find myself with more questions than answers. But, through it all, I read the bible everyday, and pray a lot more than I used too. I just hope and pray that God is working things out for the best.

 

[watergem40]

wort01, sorry about you divorce, I know that can be painful. I have found there are a lot of us out there with the uncertainty but holding on to God's promises is what is helps me get through each day, hoping, praying that someday he will fulfill the desire in my heart. God Bless you, I pray he helps you through this difficult time.

 

[lisavega09]

I am in he same boat. Not having a family really hurts and I feel alone a lot. I am alone a lot of he times and I cry a lot. I feel lonely and don't have kids or a prospect.

 

[lisavega09]

Amen!

 

[Nelson123]

To find your purpose, you must know your passions. That us what will lead you to your purpose.

Yeah, I know, easier said than done! ��

I'm 43 in a few weeks time, and I've asked this question many times. I've prayed on this many times too.

All I know is that we are all completely unique. We all have our own strengths and passions. I believe God made us this way, so our purpose is to honour what we've been given.

What gets your heart thumping a little more than usual? What makes you want to leap out of bed in the morning? What do you get enthusiastic about?

 

[Nelson123]

Sorry for the appalling spelling on my previous post. I'm using a teeny weeny smart phone, and I can't scroll through the message to check it!

 

[sisbarn70]

I was married for 10 years and got divorced just after I turned 40. Seems like I spent 3 years trying to figure out what to do with my life. I made some bad decisions along the way too. But the last year has been different. I started serving more in my church. Once I finally stopped trying so hard and put my faith into action things settled down. Do I still get lonely sometimes? Yes having my daughter only part time is hard but I won't deprive her of time with her dad. So I've found that I spend time with others sometimes just an encouraging word on the phone. Sometimes running a car less friend to the grocery store. It's good for them and for me it takes my thoughts off myself and truly helps me focus on them. We aren't meant to be alone...but our company isn't always what we expect either.

 

[erickonasis]

To find your purpose, you must know your passions. That us what will lead you to your purpose.

Yeah, I know, easier said than done! ��

I'm 43 in a few weeks time, and I've asked this question many times. I've prayed on this many times too.

All I know is that we are all completely unique. We all have our own strengths and passions. I believe God made us this way, so our purpose is to honour what we've been given.

What gets your heart thumping a little more than usual? What makes you want to leap out of bed in the morning? What do you get enthusiastic about?

Bills get me up lol... I turn 44 this year and have the same exact problem. No kids and its just the same routine everyday its almost like why am i here

 

[FanthatSpark]

Joy,

What Does the Bible Say About Joy?

 

[Marc_Antony]

So I find myself at 42 really struggling to find my purpose. I wanted to so much to be married by now but it never happened. I really desired to be a wife and have a big family. I can no longer have children *thank God I have my daughter*, but she is 20 and really is just living her own life now, she doesn't need me as much. Now that I have given up on that dream, I just don't know what to do with myself. I have no family that cares, thankfully I have a couple of good friends.

Anyone else feel this way? OR Has anyone felt this way and figured out how to find purpose?

Yes, watergem40, I can relate to much of what you are saying. I am at the point in my life where I believe I shall remain single until God sees fit to place me with a mate at some point.

I wonder about my life in general; I think about how the last 20-Years has gone by so fast and I did not really realize it. It was somewhat of a shock to realize I was turning 44.

I do not dwell on it much and try to fill my time with things such as reading, art, church, etc.

It is lonely sometimes but I realize I cannot settle for just anyone. I have been on a couple of dates in the past year. They were nice, interesting, but they did not lead anywhere nor should they have (I now am able to see that, if that makes sense).

 

[nightflight]

You are not alone; I never married (seems like a gamble) and I feel I have no purpose. On the other hand, there are good restaurants.

 

[ToBeLoved]

So I find myself at 42 really struggling to find my purpose. I wanted to so much to be married by now but it never happened. I really desired to be a wife and have a big family. I can no longer have children *thank God I have my daughter*, but she is 20 and really is just living her own life now, she doesn't need me as much. Now that I have given up on that dream, I just don't know what to do with myself. I have no family that cares, thankfully I have a couple of good friends.

Anyone else feel this way? OR Has anyone felt this way and figured out how to find purpose?

I'm in just about the same boat, but I'm divorced. I'm hoping that this is the dreaded mid-life crisis and it goes away.