• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

bad church experiece

wend

New Member
Feb 6, 2005
3
0
✟113.00
Faith
Christian
I went to a Baptist church, well because I broke
down crying one night and told them I love Jesus and that I have been saved,
after that they started putting pressure on me to get baptised, which is
fair enough, but I smoke and have a problem with alcohol and I got told that
once you are baptised, you have to stop smoking and never be able to drink
again because Jesus wouldn't like it, I was trying real hard to
give up both and was told that
I cant have been saved because I have not stopped smoking etc . all I have
to do is read the bible and the answers are there,

Well any way I started losing all my confidence and felt so worthless that I
must be a horrible person because of my problems and I'm a horrible sinner,
I felt that I was not good enough to be in this Church in Gods presence, I
would come home from Church every Sunday and be crying my eyes out, my
husband said God does not want you to feel like this he knows the real
you and he know you are trying and that everyone is a sinner including the
people at my Church, they were so patronizing so that is why I do not go now
because of this one bad experience, its really put me of.

Jesus loves us all regardless of our faults.

Why do people have church think they have the right to tell you how to live
your life when they are not perfect themselves.I really do not understand
this.
So nowI dont go to church and say my prayers in my home and feel much better because no one can judge me now only god.
:liturgy:
:help:
 

little esther

Senior Veteran
Jan 10, 2005
3,150
77
66
central pa.
✟3,700.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
hi wend,
just read your thread, it's a shame that some churches treat people the way they do. if you have asked jesus to come into your heart to be your lord and saviour,then you are saved. with time God will help you with your smoking and drinking if you allow him. he loves you and cares very much for you.i know that when you have had a bad experience with a church you tend not to want any thing to do with church. but you need to find a church where they will accept you and help you. a question----do you clean up before you take a shower or bath???? i think not, and it is the same way with
God, he doesn't expect you to be clean before you come to him, he'll clean you up after you come to him. you can pm me if you need someone to talk to ,and i'll give you my email address. will be praying for you. don't give up on JESUS OR GOD.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Radagast
Upvote 0

TheMainException

Senior Veteran
Jun 13, 2004
2,957
92
36
In my universe
✟19,228.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Libertarian
It's good that you have found a way around this.....but it doesn't matter much that you smoke or drink......I have a nasty temper and swear at my parents now and again.....and you know something? Both of those are equal in sin value.......you should TRY to stop smoking and drinking when you become a follower of Jesus.....but he accepts you just the way you are......you see......we come to him as sinners and he picks us up in his hands and begins to mold us into holy righteous spirits......but we cannot become that without his help....YOU are the person God wants to enter his kingdom, not the selfrighteous......Lauren
 
Upvote 0

Just Me Garry

Well-Known Member
Feb 5, 2005
1,030
87
Arkansas
✟1,625.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Constitution
wend said:
I went to a Baptist church, well because I broke
down crying one night and told them I love Jesus and that I have been saved,
after that they started putting pressure on me to get baptised, which is
fair enough, but I smoke and have a problem with alcohol and I got told that
once you are baptised, you have to stop smoking and never be able to drink
again because Jesus wouldn't like it, I was trying real hard to
give up both and was told that
I cant have been saved because I have not stopped smoking etc . all I have
to do is read the bible and the answers are there,

Well any way I started losing all my confidence and felt so worthless that I
must be a horrible person because of my problems and I'm a horrible sinner,
I felt that I was not good enough to be in this Church in Gods presence, I
would come home from Church every Sunday and be crying my eyes out, my
husband said God does not want you to feel like this he knows the real
you and he know you are trying and that everyone is a sinner including the
people at my Church, they were so patronizing so that is why I do not go now
because of this one bad experience, its really put me of.

Jesus loves us all regardless of our faults.

Why do people have church think they have the right to tell you how to live
your life when they are not perfect themselves.I really do not understand
this.
So nowI dont go to church and say my prayers in my home and feel much better because no one can judge me now only god.
:liturgy:
:help:


Hi Wend,

I am new here too and read your post. First of all I want to say welcome to the Family Of God. You are a new creation! Praise The Lord. It is sad but there are many denomnations that follow the precepts of men and not of the Lord Jesus.

There are so many legalism and legalists saying that you have to this and that. I know that your hearts intenet is on serving the Lord. I do pray that you do not totally give up in finding a good Bible believing church becuase you need the fellowship of other believers. I do not agree with everything that is said in my church, but I do not let that hinder me from fellowshipping with other believers.

The Lord will work through your life if you let him. It is not so much what you do not do as it is that you continue in the faith. The Lord will deal with you concerncing the things you are struggling with or make a way out of it. He will help you.

If you are a new Christian I would reccommend you read the book of John in the New Testament.

Do not give up. :bow::bow:
 
Upvote 0

Evie

what he said! <img src="http://www3.christianforum
Jun 28, 2004
4,002
66
56
✟19,530.00
Faith
Christian
wend said:
I went to a Baptist church, well because I broke
down crying one night and told them I love Jesus and that I have been saved,
after that they started putting pressure on me to get baptised, which is
fair enough, but I smoke and have a problem with alcohol and I got told that
once you are baptised, you have to stop smoking and never be able to drink
again because Jesus wouldn't like it, I was trying real hard to
give up both and was told that
I cant have been saved because I have not stopped smoking etc . all I have
to do is read the bible and the answers are there,

Well any way I started losing all my confidence and felt so worthless that I
must be a horrible person because of my problems and I'm a horrible sinner,
I felt that I was not good enough to be in this Church in Gods presence, I
would come home from Church every Sunday and be crying my eyes out, my
husband said God does not want you to feel like this he knows the real
you and he know you are trying and that everyone is a sinner including the
people at my Church, they were so patronizing so that is why I do not go now
because of this one bad experience, its really put me of.

Jesus loves us all regardless of our faults.

Why do people have church think they have the right to tell you how to live
your life when they are not perfect themselves.I really do not understand
this.
So nowI dont go to church and say my prayers in my home and feel much better because no one can judge me now only god.
:liturgy:
:help:
whether you smoke or drink,no one should pressure you. In God's time,eventually all that will take time,work on your soul for now. Don't worry about the drinking and smoking at the moment. Give yourself time to grow in Christ. So glad that you accepted Christ,best thing you ever did for yourself!!!
 
Upvote 0

FireKame

Member
Feb 5, 2005
109
6
Colorado
✟7,769.00
Faith
Protestant
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Libertarian
I remember once when my small group (the girls in my grade and I) were having a popcorn prayer time. I said, "God, I don't really know who you are or where you are, or if you even exist. I don't know what to do right now, but my life really sucks. If by some chance you are up there, I hope you hear me." Anyways, a girl came up to me afterwards and told me how much my prayer offended her, and how I shouldn't say such things in church.

It was then that I realized that the Church is not all that matters in your relationship with God. Sure, you need the fellowship, but you should never be afraid to go into God's presence, no matter what. Well, that's what I learned from that expierence.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all have faults, right? I'm really sorry about how your church treats you, but it's important to realize that probably not everyone in that church acts like that.
 
Upvote 0

loribee59

Beautiful hearts and minds makes me swoon! :)
Mar 11, 2003
5,992
249
Keizer, OR
✟23,001.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
FireKame said:
I remember once when my small group (the girls in my grade and I) were having a popcorn prayer time. I said, "God, I don't really know who you are or where you are, or if you even exist. I don't know what to do right now, but my life really sucks. If by some chance you are up there, I hope you hear me." Anyways, a girl came up to me afterwards and told me how much my prayer offended her, and how I shouldn't say such things in church.

.

sorry to go off topic, but I can't help but notice that your prayer is the most hearfelt and HONEST prayer to God I've read, and this girl is OFFENDED that you're being HONEST?! All she ever will know is praying to God in a format that the Church approves. How sad!

Keep on praying the way you do...God LOVES an honest one!
 
Upvote 0

LegacyOfLove

Senior Veteran
Nov 13, 2004
2,163
200
Visit site
✟10,848.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I think one of the problems is that some churches make it seem like you must get your life right immediately...but some problems don't go away instantaneously. For some people they do, but for others they don't. And...God doesn't want you to try to make yourself perfect before you can experience His love and salvation! He wants us to come just as we are...regardless of how much or how little sin we have in our lives. For all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God! Nobody is perfect....it is only something to strive for as we walk with Christ. And there is no problem too big that God cannot handle it and help us to gain victory over it.

The first and most important step you have already taken....you're seeking a relationship with God. In time, you'll continue to grow and He will work in your life as He knows best. Regardless of the terrible experience you went through at that church, please know that is just one church and not a fair representation of every body of believers. God loves you just as you are! Keep your eyes on Jesus and let Him guide you and things will work out.
 
Upvote 0

Saint Taz

Active Member
Dec 30, 2004
361
47
54
Central California
✟748.00
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
I agree with most of what everyone has said here, in God's time I'm sure your habits will be history...as you continue to grow as a Christian. I know some churches do not say anything about this, but there should be encouragement to grow, but also patience is in order, as well. These things are not always an "overnight" thing. I know some people who smoke and drink at our church, and no one says anything. It surely depends on which church you make as your own. It is better to search for a church you are comfortable with rather than just staying away. Perhaps God will lead you to a better church!

We will pray for you. :crossrc:
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Johnnz

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Aug 3, 2004
14,082
1,002
82
New Zealand
✟74,521.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Widowed
Holiness is a process. We don't get 'all cleaned up' in one go. God works on us bit by bit, just as children acquire new skills and capacities as they mature.

Sadly, some Christians have a checklist. Smoking, drinking, drugs and sex are right there at the top. Gossip, covetousness, greed, poor interpersonal skills scarcely rate. However. it's God's perspectives that really matter. he knows your heart, your willingness, your struggles.

Within that church environment is there someone who will be genuinely supportive to be there for you?

John
NZ
 
Upvote 0

madison1101

Senior Veteran
Sep 17, 2004
4,354
288
66
Pennsylvania
✟5,939.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Democrat
Scriptures say we are to work out our salvation. It takes a lifetime to become perfected to Christlikeness. I had a drinking problem, that took me decades to gain victory over. My sister-in-law took years to give up smoking. We grow at our own pace, and God loves us as we struggle and fall and get back up again.

There are other churches that don't have legalistic rules. Pray and ask the Lord to guide you to one where you can experience God's awesome grace and love and forgiveness. I have been blessed in one like that.

Churches are hospitals for sin sick people, not places for perfect people to hang out in.

Hugs,
Madison
 
Upvote 0

Evie

what he said! <img src="http://www3.christianforum
Jun 28, 2004
4,002
66
56
✟19,530.00
Faith
Christian
well put!!!:D

Johnnz said:
Holiness is a process. We don't get 'all cleaned up' in one go. God works on us bit by bit, just as children acquire new skills and capacities as they mature.

Sadly, some Christians have a checklist. Smoking, drinking, drugs and sex are right there at the top. Gossip, covetousness, greed, poor interpersonal skills scarcely rate. However. it's God's perspectives that really matter. he knows your heart, your willingness, your struggles.

Within that church environment is there someone who will be genuinely supportive to be there for you?

John
NZ
 
Upvote 0