Autism, Humour and Behaviour

[Godlovesmetwo]

I'm very new to autism. Met one client recently, the details of which I will keep confidential. But those of you with experience and knowledge of autism, what advice do you have for me? How should I approach someone with autism? The same as I would anyone else?

 

[Sabertooth]

That really depends on your particular client. If they are well-developed cognitively, they can apply their engineering/problem-solving capabilities toward developing coping strategies and workarounds.

If they are of more normal cognition, they can be taught some of the same strategies, but they will be less autodidactic.

If they have severe cognitive impairments (as seen in my children's generation), they may never develop past a particular mental age. My 29yo son has a mental age of 6-10 years. My 22yo daughter, 18 months.

We see plenty of examples of the first two groups when we look back through history. It is the last group that has been experiencing unprecedented growth. Some are starting to believe that it may be a distinct condition occurring on top of conventional autism.

(It is not clear to me about how you want this question answered with respect to humor.)

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Thanks Sabertooth. My client comes in your first category. Only diagnosed around 18. Now 24. Re humour. Their sense of humour would be unusual? Guess I'd like to be able to share a joke to ease tension.

 

[Sabertooth]

For myself, I get most types of popular humor, particularly puns, but I don't always get deadpan or sarcastic humor right away (and I have used both myself).

In our home, we use self-deprecating humor and repartee, but some would take personal offense at the latter. We all make mistakes, and some can be funny when you think about it. You just have to feel out your audience.

One of my running jokes about my wife:
She once went to have an MRI scan of her brain to determine the status of her tumors and the tech said that THEY FOUND NOTHING THERE...!

(We all can laugh at that because nobody thinks that she is stupid.)

 

[Hank77]

I'm very new to autism. Met one client recently, the details of which I will keep confidential. But those of you with experience and knowledge of autism, what advice do you have for me? How should I approach someone with autism? The same as I would anyone else?

Yes, the same as anyone else. Put other "normal" people in a broad spectrum and each one is different. A broad brush doesn't work well.
My grandchild is an Aspie who has changed dramatically from his toddler yrs., especially about age 5, to his almost teen yrs.
I hear about the behaviors, learning skills or lack there of, quirks, social skills, friends or lack of, etc. and some are like my grandson but many aren't.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Can I ask perhaps a delicate question?
It must be very challenging as a parent of an autistic child? The behaviours can be very difficult/exhausting to deal with? Worse than a child with bad behaviour who is not autistic?

 

[gerbilwoman]

Hi,

I have high-functioning autism. I like it best when people approach me as you would someone else without any touch (no handshake, ect).

 

[Paidiske]

Can I ask perhaps a delicate question?
It must be very challenging as a parent of an autistic child? The behaviours can be very difficult/exhausting to deal with? Worse than a child with bad behaviour who is not autistic?

Some of that, yes. My daughter is a delight, not really badly behaved, but very full on and it can be challenging.

But the biggest challenge I think is working to parent your child in a system which can't accommodate them. It's not just dealing with the child, it's dealing with everyone around them as well.

 

[Sabertooth]

Can I ask perhaps a delicate question?
It must be very challenging as a parent of an autistic child? The behaviours can be very difficult/exhausting to deal with? Worse than a child with bad behaviour who is not autistic?

That gets back to my three levels of functioning above. Base autism operates under a different communications paradigm which is quite similar to that of the intellectually gifted. A parent can get that over time.

It is the recent epidemic of cognitive impairment on top of autism that is more of a challenge to work with. Without said impairment, a child [ASD or NT] will eventually learn from their consequences [natural or parental] and parent can make that part of their strategy. We try to prevent children from touching a hot stove, but most won't touch it a second time.

In our experience, this impairment has taken away that sense of causation. Negative consequences [both kinds] are seen as just the world being mean to them; in no way tied to their poor choices. The hot stove is just being personally "mean" to them whenever they manage to touch it. That is uncharted territory for most (if not all) parents.

Further (in our case), rebellious siblings may quickly figure out that, if they ride out the lower levels of punishment, there is nothing more their parents can legally do after a certain point.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I might PM some of you to discuss this further. Thanks kindly for your posts.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Hi,

I have high-functioning autism. I like it best when people approach me as you would someone else without any touch (no handshake, ect).

I'm similar to you. I don't like touch in greetings. And hugs are for those close to you. (IMHO)

 

[Dave-W]

Can I ask perhaps a delicate question?
It must be very challenging as a parent of an autistic child? The behaviours can be very difficult/exhausting to deal with? Worse than a child with bad behaviour who is not autistic?

That is something my middle daughter has to deal with on a daily basis.

 

[Sabertooth]

Another example of my weird humor:
One of my younger [NT] sons once asked why we named him the way that we did.

"By the time you were born, we had already used up all of the good names. We were scraping the bottom of the barrel..."

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

That is something my middle daughter has to deal with on a daily basis.

Sorry to hear that. I think the ones who hardly speak and lack social skill must be very tough to deal with.

 

[Dave-W]

Sorry to hear that. I think the ones who hardly speak and lack social skill must be very tough to deal with.

Our granddaughter is high functioning and is fully conversant; but was quite slow to get there. But she does have extreme mood swings and has a lot of difficulty with social skills.