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Are WELS and LC-MS pastors willing to officiate mixed marriages?

Discussion in 'Theologia Crucis - Lutherans' started by Basil the Great, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. Would most WELS and LC-MS pastors be willing to marry a parishoner who was marrying a Catholic and the Catholic was not becoming Lutheran? Would they be willing to marry a parishoner who was marrying a secular Jew who did not mind a Christian wedding, but was not willing to become a Christian?
     
  2. doulos_tou_kuriou

    doulos_tou_kuriou Located at the intersection of Forde and Giertz

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    I think you might have a hard time finding either willing to marry a Jew who would not be Christian. And the WELS I'm not sure about, but when I was LCMS I was told (in relation to the CoP decision to not ordain seminarians whose wives were not LCMS) that interdenominational marriage of members is ok. And I did know Lutheran pastors who were married to an ELCA wife and a Jehova's Witness (she is now Lutheran but was not I believe at the time of the marriage or shortly after).
    From the website:
    Q. What is the LCMS policy regarding interdenominational or interfaith marriages? Is there anything that must be "promised" about children of these marriages?

    A. The LCMS has no official position or "policy" regarding interdenominational marriages, but entrusts to its pastors the responsibility of counseling couples regarding issues such as this. A pastor in this situation may well want to discuss the serious issue of the spiritual nurture of children in such a "mixed marriage" and the complications and challenges involved, but the LCMS as such does not require that a member make specific "promises" in this regard.
     
  3. Ok, your post reminds me of the discussion in another thread re: seminarians who will not be ordained if their wife is not a LCMS member. Now, let's take this situation a step further, as I am sure the situation must arise from time to time. Let's say a single man gets ordained and then after ordination and placement he falls deeply in love and marries. What would happen to the pastor under various circumstances:

    (1) He marries a non-LCMS Lutheran, who will not convert, but agrees to allow the children to be raised in the husband's faith?
    (2) He marries a non-Lutheran Protestant, who again will not convert, but she agrees to allow the children to be raised LCMS?
    (3) He marries a Catholic, who again will not convert, but does agree to allow the children to be raised LCMS?

    For any of you WELS Lutherans, I would respectfully ask the same questions. What would happen to your single pastors, who marry outside the WELS faith after ordination and placement - be the wife non-WELS Lutheran, a non-Lutheran Protestant or a Catholic, and again assuming that in all three cases the wife refuses to convert, but agrees to allow the children to be raised in the WELS faith?
     
  4. Tangible

    Tangible 100% Saint & 100% Sinner

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    I thought an LCMS-WELS marriage was a mixed marriage! /jk
     
  5. I guess that a WELS-LCMS marriage is a mixed marriage, but the two denominations do seem to have much in common.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2011
  6. seajoy

    seajoy Senior Veteran

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    .
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2011
  7. doulos_tou_kuriou

    doulos_tou_kuriou Located at the intersection of Forde and Giertz

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    I'm not sure if anything would be done to put his standing as a minister in jeopardy (that is a question for like Rev or something), but I can tell you that there would be a good many congregations going forward who would not call him and some in his congregation may even treat him much differently/try to report him for anything they might get him in trouble for.
     
  8. QuiltAngel

    QuiltAngel Veteran

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    I asked my husband and he has had numerous ones of members marrying a non-Lutheran. Having a member marry a person not question has not come up for him.

    (
    All single Pastors I have known would not marry a person who was not LCMS. They would first have many discussions with the woman first and if they were not willing to convert, they would not let the relationship go so far as to consider marrying them. Or, if it got that far, would discuss her becoming LCMS.

    I was LCA (one of the synods that made up the ELCA) and my husband was LCMS. I knew he would be going to Seminary. I also agree with the LCMS so had no problem joining the LCMS.
     
  9. Thank you for your responses.
     
  10. PreachersWife2004

    PreachersWife2004 by his wounds we are healed Staff Member Supervisor Supporter CF Ambassador

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    You won't a great number of WELS pastors who would be willing to marry someone outside of the WELS themselves, but they will perform "mixed" marriages, depending on the situation. I will say that the couples who came to hubby wanting to be married who were not both WELS ended up both being WELS by the time they were married or shortly after. Once you hear the truth it's kinda hard to go back to lukewarm gospel.
     
  11. WildStrawberry

    WildStrawberry It's almost time....

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    I have a very mixed marriage in that, my husband is an agnostic. My Pastor was only concerned that my husband would try to influence me from the Church but since my husband brings me to Church and to all of my Church related things and has no problem with my being a Christian and also attends with me from time to time, Pastor had no problems marrying us.

    As for my husbunny being an agnostic, he is so close to believing that you couldn't get a hair between my fingers if I were to show you...he just needs that last "step"...so, if you all would pray for him...I would be very appreciative!
     
  12. MDIVGRAD

    MDIVGRAD Guest

    All single Pastors I have known would not marry a person who was not LCMS. They would first have many discussions with the woman first and if they were not willing to convert, they would not let the relationship go so far as to consider marrying them. Or, if it got that far, would discuss her becoming LCMS.

    That was one of the problems my marriage had before going to seminary. I think I fooled myself into believing we would survive Seminary and I would be ordained. If God will bless me with a wife who also holds the same faith as I do and is Lutheran, I will be more than happy to marry again, but having a mixed marriage is more than just a disagreement about church, its a fundamental difference in how one perceives Christ and how the Holy Spirit works.
     
  13. MDIVGRAD

    MDIVGRAD Guest

    What he needs to realize is that it isn't up to him. He doesn't get to decide to believe. Either he does or he doesn't. If he does it is because God has instilled in him enough faith to believe. Faith is a gift from God given to us in Holy Baptism as believers. However, we can also receive faith by hearing the word of God. So I will pray that he hears more than enough of the Word and that faith is given to him to believe that Word.
     
  14. doulos_tou_kuriou

    doulos_tou_kuriou Located at the intersection of Forde and Giertz

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    Personal preference of seminarians to feel the need for the spouse to be LCMS before marrying her I understand, Synod impositions and requirements I do not nor agree with.
     
  15. ratchet30

    ratchet30 Super Newbie

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    HAHAHA That was Good!
     
  16. Aibrean

    Aibrean Honest. Maybe too Honest.

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    I hardly see any LCMS/WELS contributing to "unequal yoking".
     
  17. DaRev

    DaRev New Member

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    But how can a man shepherd God's flock when he doesn't even have concord in his own home? For a man to serve as a pastor in an LCMS congregation, he needs to fit the requirements laid out in Scripture which includes being the head of his own household. The synod is in place to assure that its member congregations are able to call a qualified pastor.
     
  18. doulos_tou_kuriou

    doulos_tou_kuriou Located at the intersection of Forde and Giertz

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    If this is about being head of the house, then all LCMS men should be asked to do the same. It seems quite wrong to say it is ok for the laity but not the clergy. Especially because it then undermines whether the laity ever has a future as clergy. And forcing your wife to be LCMS is not Concord, it is ruling your house with an iron fist, which scripture also speaks against.
    This is not too mention that it is only a requirement for ordination (so technically a pastor could marry a non-LCMS wife while a pastor) and that this is a rather recent development as a rule, and I knew plenty of LCMS pastors who were very good pastors who never would have been ordained had this been an official rule in their day.
     
  19. ratchet30

    ratchet30 Super Newbie

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    Anyone here marry a pastors daughter or son? My church has 2 single pastors daughters.
     
  20. PreachersWife2004

    PreachersWife2004 by his wounds we are healed Staff Member Supervisor Supporter CF Ambassador

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    I did, after two years straight of me sayin I didn't want to be a pastor's wife. :D

    I think all Christians should strive at the very least to marry another Christian, and if at all possible they should marry someone in their denomination, specifically their synod.

    First marriage, I married outside of my synod thinking that our beliefs would just jive together. We see how well that worked. :doh:
     
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