Apologies to all

[xenia]

Hello TAW people,

I am very sorry I got involved in the thread concerning Gurney. While it is true that he and I do not see eye to eye on things, I allowed my passions to rule the day. I should have just stayed out of the discussion rather than offer my opinions which hurt more than helped.

My use of the hurtful word "despicable" was sinful and I ask forgiveness.

Please forgive.

-Xenia

 

[ArmyMatt]

no worries from me sister. I know how stuff can be both mistyped and misread on here, and how easily stuff can escalate to where we never intended it to go. God forgives and I forgive, please forgive this sinner as well!

 

[GregConstantine]

If you feel you need to apologize, go ahead, but I think Gurney needs to apologize too. He is the reason I'm no longer participating on this forum, that plus the fact that very few here actually take the time to read what is being posted. So Matt, yes, misunderstandings can and do occur, but if people are not making an effort to read and understand first before reacting rather than responding, you will see incidences of "misunderstandings" go down dramatically. So that's really not a good enough excuse.

Had Gurney read what I wrote he would have realized that I was merely cautioning him to be careful about what he says on a public forum because truth be told, it is very possible to be sued for libel. That goes for anyone of us. Instead, he reacted to what I wrote in a very accusatory and judgmental manner. it was obvious to me that he didnt' read carefully what I wrote.

I know he's upset and angry, I've been hurt by clergy and others in the Church as well, but that does not excuse me or him from behaving badly to others.

Too many of you rushed to his defense, and there I could tell yet again, things were not being read carefully.

 

[All4Christ]

Hello TAW people,

I am very sorry I got involved in the thread concerning Gurney. While it is true that he and I do not see eye to eye on things, I allowed my passions to rule the day. I should have just stayed out of the discussion rather than offer my opinions which hurt more than helped.

My use of the hurtful word "despicable" was sinful and I ask forgiveness.

Please forgive.

-Xenia

God forgives and I forgive as well! Forgive me for all I have done as well.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

I'm sorry I'm such a train wreck of a human being that I've kept you from this forum; except for this, I've left TAW. I think I've become some kind of punching bag idol for some.

I disagree with Xenia's view of my situation. I think if she had been in my family or attended our parish or really knew what is going on, she'd feel differently. I've been privy to some conversations with folks at my old parish, and things are worse now than before. And it's all traced back to the same man. Its unrecognizable in many ways...but I will say that I appreciate Xenia's thread here. I appreciate her sentiment.

I think at some point you and I need some IM's and private conversations with this public trashing of my reputation ending. Keep in mind I have suffered A LOT spiritually, and if you disagreed with me venting, you could've taken me aside or with legal concerns you could've thrown an IM my way. If I misunderstood your intent, I ask forgiveness, but between Xenia, Jesus4, and your post, I felt the victim was becoming the condemned and ostracized. I no longer felt welcome in here at all. Hearing people judging me so hard was just too much to bear.

Greg, I was always quite fond of you in here, even when I might disagree with you from time to time. I'm sorry you find me a repulsing force to your being a member of TAW. As I said, please forgive me and realize I'm not really a poster here anymore. I just wanted to comment on this to rest your mind so you'll know I'm gone.

I ask just one thing---I'd appreciate it if people would quit mentioning me. I'm tired of being the villain. If I made mistakes, as people in here pity my Deacon and think me a malefactor for venting about him, please realize I need forgiveness also and peace restored. Bringing me up as the Lex Luthor of each thread, that's not helping me either.

Whether I'm here in TAW or not, I need closure and have dignity too.

Forgive me and rest assured I'm gone.

In ICXC,
Gurney

If you feel you need to apologize, go ahead, but I think Gurney needs to apologize too. He is the reason I'm no longer participating on this forum, that plus the fact that very few here actually take the time to read what is being posted. So Matt, yes, misunderstandings can and do occur, but if people are not making an effort to read and understand first before reacting rather than responding, you will see incidences of "misunderstandings" go down dramatically. So that's really not a good enough excuse.

Had Gurney read what I wrote he would have realized that I was merely cautioning him to be careful about what he says on a public forum because truth be told, it is very possible to be sued for libel. That goes for anyone of us. Instead, he reacted to what I wrote in a very accusatory and judgmental manner. it was obvious to me that he didnt' read carefully what I wrote.

I know he's upset and angry, I've been hurt by clergy and others in the Church as well, but that does not excuse me or him from behaving badly to others.

Too many of you rushed to his defense, and there I could tell yet again, things were not being read carefully.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Prior to this crisis in my life, I don't recall you and I not seeing eye to eye on anything? Perhaps I have a poor memory? I seem to remember agreeing with you on many occasions.

The issue at my parish is complex. If you were there and had watched all the problems, strife, drama, politics, marginalization, and cruelty going on as well as my being talked down to and gossiped about along with so many others, it's all traced back to s root cause. And there are factors, with respect, that you aren't privy to. And the scandal at the school is also very real and already VERY public. It takes A LOT to get my wife to cry, but this stuff has broken her spirit. My family has suffered. I've NEVER felt this heart-broken and lost!!! I'm aching inside. And my kids are hurt by it. I know a few more parishioners poised to leave. Things there are toxic. My spiritual life is burning and I'm trying to put out the fire. Please just understand there is truth in what I said, and people other than me there are hurting too!!

I appreciate your thread here, the attempt to heal, and ask you to keep an open mind with me. I don't need your approval, but I DO need your prayers. Please remember me in them as often as possible. Much love to you in Christ,
Gurney

Hello TAW people,

I am very sorry I got involved in the thread concerning Gurney. While it is true that he and I do not see eye to eye on things, I allowed my passions to rule the day. I should have just stayed out of the discussion rather than offer my opinions which hurt more than helped.

My use of the hurtful word "despicable" was sinful and I ask forgiveness.

Please forgive.

-Xenia

 

[seashale76]

Forgiveness all around is a good thing. However, from here on out, I think those who have miscommunicated with each other (and I truly believe that is the core issue here) should exchange e-mails or PM each other to hash out, further forgive each other, et cetera. On the internet it is so easy to miscommunicate, misread, and misinterpret. I think we've likely all been guilty of offending someone on-line at some point.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Greg and I have tried to do just that today---good timing!

Forgiveness all around is a good thing. However, from here on out, I think those who have miscommunicated with each other (and I truly believe that is the core issue here) should exchange e-mails or PM each other to hash out, further forgive each other, et cetera. On the internet it is so easy to miscommunicate, misread, and misinterpret. I think we've likely all been guilty of offending someone on-line at some point.

 

[xenia]

Thank you, Gurney. You are in my prayers.

 

[Damaris]

The issue at my parish is complex. If you were there and had watched all the problems, strife, drama, politics, marginalization, and cruelty going on as well as my being talked down to and gossiped about along with so many others

But that's just the thing, Gurney. Nobody here knows the situation, so nobody here is really in a position to help. When I have a troubling situation, I try to take it to someone who can weigh all sides and provide effective support where needed, and otherwise only dispense the information on a need-to-know basis.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

I'm alone a lot, and don't know any Ortgodox Christians in my area. My wife works a lot of night shifts, and some nights I just want to talk to someone, so I spoke up in TAW. Obviously that was a HUGE mistake. I should've just IM'd ArmyMatt or Seashale or Kylissa, All4Christ or Anhelyna. But I let my guard down and vented and spoke my heart in the open forum. DUMB!!!

But that's just the thing, Gurney. Nobody here knows the situation, so nobody here is really in a position to help. When I have a troubling situation, I try to take it to someone who can weigh all sides and provide effective support where needed, and otherwise only dispense the information on a need-to-know basis.

 

[rusmeister]

I would have never known anything was wrong. I would have noticed after a few weeks - "Hey,Gurney's not posting anymore..." and would have been clueless as to why.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

I'm glad you'd care that I'm gone, Rus...that means a lot.

I would have never known anything was wrong. I would have noticed after a few weeks - "Hey,Gurney's not posting anymore..." and would have been clueless as to why.

 

[Antony in Tx]

Gurney, I definitely would miss you being around. You are a good man who is working out your salvation very carefully. Xenia, I think it is very good of you to have started this thread of reconciliation. This was definitely a huge upset for everyone involved, and a chance for all to look inward at how we may have been less than ideally supportive of each other. As He said, "Love one another as I have loved you." That is Christianity in a nutshell. Figuring out exactly what that means and doing it is the hard part. Prayers for you, and for all of us here.

 

[Anhelyna]

It's very hard when you really have no one in real life on whom you can offload/explode when a situation really blows up.

It's a difficult situation - do you use your Internet Friends ? Do you just keep it to yourself and try and cope.

I reckon we try and keep it private till the day when we have to vent and hope that people understand.

We should be able to raise these problems as and when they arise with the people involved - but frequently we can't and that's when we bottle things up. This is where a parish family can and should help - but if it's not one where people really do talk ............

Reconciliation is a two way process

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Antony, during my ups and downs in the East, you've been a constant UP for me! Seriously, your posts are always a shot in the arm. You inspire me. Thank you.

Gurney, I definitely would miss you being around. You are a good man who is working out your salvation very carefully. Xenia, I think it is very good of you to have started this thread of reconciliation. This was definitely a huge upset for everyone involved, and a chance for all to look inward at how we may have been less than ideally supportive of each other. As He said, "Love one another as I have loved you." That is Christianity in a nutshell. Figuring out exactly what that means and doing it is the hard part. Prayers for you, and for all of us here.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Nail on the head!

I have vented and talked about this a lot with my parents, but they're not Orthodox. My dad said a long time ago I shouldn't waste my time with Father. He thinks he's a dirt bag. He doesn't like to see his son treated this way. Mom either!

Kate and I have talked PLENTY about this, but honestly it just makes us stressed out and crazy and even a couple of times we got upset and it ruined our nights together, and we have only 3-4 days a week together TOPS. So sometimes we just don't talk about it and try to enjoy life.

I've talked about it with my friend at work. He's my BEST friend, but he's definitely into "I believe in God, but have my doubts about the bible and TOTALLY distrust ALL churches!" type of thinking.

So, yeah, Anhelyna, that's exactly right. I have spoken with two friends at my old Serb parish about it, and that has helped a bit, but I came to TAW because I feel like everyone here is my Orthodox family spread around the world a bit. I just wanted to vent a bit and talk and get it unloaded....but like I said, lesson learned. It should be IM stuff only.

It's very hard when you really have no one in real life on whom you can offload/explode when a situation really blows up.

It's a difficult situation - do you use your Internet Friends ? Do you just keep it to yourself and try and cope.

I reckon we try and keep it private till the day when we have to vent and hope that people understand.

We should be able to raise these problems as and when they arise with the people involved - but frequently we can't and that's when we bottle things up. This is where a parish family can and should help - but if it's not one where people really do talk ............

Reconciliation is a two way process

 

[All4Christ]

...but like I said, lesson learned. It should be IM stuff only.

Always here, an IM away! Still praying for you, Gurney!

 

[rusmeister]

Always here, an IM away! Still praying for you, Gurney!

Ditto!