Anyone else feel like you're going to be alone forever??

[HazelWings]

If you're not happy with someone, just get rid of them. Why stay with someone who you can't stand that makes you miserable? Why torture yourself? At least then, you can look forward to your newfound freedom and meeting someone much better for you.

Hence the reason I'm divorced

 

[mina]

I think everyone feels like that at some point in their life.

 

[Mydnyte]

I think everyone feels like that at some point in their life.

Yeah, they really do. I've kinda wondered a few times myself. Still trying to have faith though.

 

[MehGuy]

Sometimes I feel like I'll never find a woman who I can connect with. It makes it worse when you read about other people with even stranger tastes than mine finding real love. Sometimes its like.. really the universe provides these kind of people with a compatible mate?

 

[cprstat]

If you're not happy with someone, just get rid of them. Why stay with someone who you can't stand that makes you miserable? Why torture yourself? At least then, you can look forward to your newfound freedom and meeting someone much better for you.

Hence the reason I'm divorced

I realize I'm new to the forums, and I don't know you all, but I hope Hazelwings is saying that "tongue in cheek". I think the rules are different for people who are dating than for those who are married, so I would agree with Blueforest's statement, only under the context of being single in the dating world. I think Jesus and the scriptures are very clear about marriage and under what conditions divorce is condoned, and I've never read anywhere in the Bible that it is acceptable to divorce your spouse because you "are not happy with" them, or because they are "someone who you can't stand that makes you miserable". I realize this is off the beaten path from the OP, but felt it needed to be said. Otherwise, I agree with others, that often it can be worse to be miserable and feel alone in the presence of another, than it is to be alone, but in the presence of God.

 

[darktipper]

better off alone than in a terrible marriage...
Just Sayin

 

[rodsorp]

If you're not happy with someone, just get rid of them. Why stay with someone who you can't stand that makes you miserable? Why torture yourself? At least then, you can look forward to your newfound freedom and meeting someone much better for you.

Because depending on your environment, culture and your own self perception having someone is seen better off than being by yourself and being lonely. In some circles singles are seen as those at bottom of the social totem pole. For the record though I agree with your above statement and your questions can be answered with a thousand different reasons but love & relationships in today's world most often miss the common elements like rationality, sensibility and clarity.

 

[rodsorp]

Also singleness isn't commonly seen as freedom to others or people would be running into single hood instead people liken it to limbo or an emotional and sexual timeout.

 

[Human Clay]

It's all about how we see things. My Father will never nor forsake you! There is no greater love than Jesus laying down His life. He did that all called us His friends, wow! Satan throws fiery darts at us, he wants to to suffer and to destroy us. We are never alone. Put on the mind of Christ. It is always the truth that sets one free.

 

[foodiepeep]

Personally, it's just so difficult for me to now digest the notion that due to the nature of my recent divorce, I have to remain single and celibate for the rest of my life..even though I'm desperately isolated and the Lord Himself said "it isn't good for man to be alone." For these reasons, I often detest being human.

 

[GQ Chris]

Owner of a lonely heart.. much better than an owner of a broken heart... (great 80s song)

 

[Rhye]

Owner of a lonely heart.. much better than an owner of a broken heart... (great 80s song)

Well, that just stinks. =/

 

[GQ Chris]

better off alone than in a terrible marriage...
Just Sayin

Yeah, one just has to go over and peruse the married threads and see that it isn't all peachy in married land.

It is a new set of problems once you are hitched.

 

[Obzocky]

Forever is a very long time, too long for assumptions to be made regarding how alone you may/may not be. Sometimes I need reminding that "forever" is only the near future, beyond that my forever is only however many years I get to live in this world. It can feel awful, but dwelling on it runs the risk of magnifying those feelings until they start to eat away at you.

Those low periods really are rubbish though. Nothing in the world will improve the mood when you're in them

 

[dfreeland311]

Welcome to the forums. Read this thread when you have a moment. Hopefully it will inspire you.

Aww, my first quoted thread.



But I do sympathize with the OP. At first, after the breakup with the girl from church in my original post I felt like she had taken a dagger and punched it deep into my heart, twisted it 180 degrees, and snapped the handle clean off...

For three weeks afterwards, I was 'playing' the good happy guy when I was out and about, with my friends, at church, or at work. I would get home, turn on the radio, start to read my bible / do a devotional and would literally break down. Angry at the world for not letting me have what I thought was mine...angry at God for not letting this relationship be in His will...angry at myself for any one of many little things that could have caused things to go south...angry at her for a multitude of reasons. Unwilling to accept that maybe it wasn't meant to be and then I started to question my faith...because had I fallen so much for something of this world that I started to substitute God's will with MY will? For a man entering ministry that really bothered me. That's when I started to seek him with all of my heart and started my personal transformation.

She was the first person I'd ever dated that held me accountable as far as being a Godly man. Our first date, we were out, we got food, and when I started eating w/o saying grace she called me out on it. We had some of the deepest conversations you could imagine regarding faith and God and when we looked into each others eyes, I swear it was like peering directly into her soul. We both have servant's hearts, and we both love mission work. When that relationship crumbled, I took it hard. I've still been praying that the issues that caused the break can be resolved, as I personally believe it has more to do with a situation completely out of both of our control, that will resolve itself in about a month...God willing. But I'm no longer holding my breath, and I realize that with prayer, patience, and diligence, I will overcome.

 

[AuburnMeg]

To the OP:

Yes, but not because of anything or anyone but me. I've decided that I do don't do relationships very well. They freak me out.

 

[latech1113]

In the Bible GOD specifically states "it's not good for man to be alone" [and that means women too] so GOD tells us we should not be alone.

There is another place, I forget where but I've read it several times, in the Bible which mentions something like "two maketh a bed warm" and it goes on to explain that two people can keep each other warm in a bed as opposed to one in which the bed is cold. These are GOD's words, not mine.

Also, "it's better to marry, than to burn"..meaning sex outside of marriage is wrong. Plain, and simple.

I've seen people writing things which suggests they love being single rather than fighting the issues which arise in relationships. If couples would treat each other like the Bible says to, there'd be fewer problems.

Another thought is that the world generates so much in the way of temptations it has a significant effect on couples.

Although my ex-wife cheated on me, and I suffered immensely because of it, I would never cheat on her, regardless.

Now that I'm divorced for 21 years, I still don't engage in physical intimacy outside marriage. Relationships are work, hard work, but I'm willing to make the effort.

 

[latech1113]

Aww, my first quoted thread.



But I do sympathize with the OP. At first, after the breakup with the girl from church in my original post I felt like she had taken a dagger and punched it deep into my heart, twisted it 180 degrees, and snapped the handle clean off...

For three weeks afterwards, I was 'playing' the good happy guy when I was out and about, with my friends, at church, or at work. I would get home, turn on the radio, start to read my bible / do a devotional and would literally break down. Angry at the world for not letting me have what I thought was mine...angry at God for not letting this relationship be in His will...angry at myself for any one of many little things that could have caused things to go south...angry at her for a multitude of reasons. Unwilling to accept that maybe it wasn't meant to be and then I started to question my faith...because had I fallen so much for something of this world that I started to substitute God's will with MY will? For a man entering ministry that really bothered me. That's when I started to seek him with all of my heart and started my personal transformation.

She was the first person I'd ever dated that held me accountable as far as being a Godly man. Our first date, we were out, we got food, and when I started eating w/o saying grace she called me out on it. We had some of the deepest conversations you could imagine regarding faith and God and when we looked into each others eyes, I swear it was like peering directly into her soul. We both have servant's hearts, and we both love mission work. When that relationship crumbled, I took it hard. I've still been praying that the issues that caused the break can be resolved, as I personally believe it has more to do with a situation completely out of both of our control, that will resolve itself in about a month...God willing. But I'm no longer holding my breath, and I realize that with prayer, patience, and diligence, I will overcome.

15 posts to PM, & 32 years in the US Army to make this USA free.


SO I post this out in the open if anyone cares to make an observation:


Please don't be offended by anything you read here as it's merely an attempt to heal, and have an observation. My heart is crushed, I'm sick to my stomach, and in deep regret for not pursuing this girl in the manner I feel she was seeking. Understand that I am 60 and she is 63. At out age "desires" tend to lessen so she most likely was wanting to see if I was capable of being able to get physically intimate with her. Here's my story-->


I'm 60 years old/young and "chances/opportunities" don't come along very often.

Can you make an observation?

I've sent this to several people hoping for an opinion. Sometimes when a person is hurting, they don't think clearly. I'm really tired of being alone. Life is not so much fun being alone. Met this girl whom I sure thought was very interested in me.........at least that's how she acted, till about 1 1/2 months into the relationship, then she tells me "no more".

Here's a portion of the events and hope you might make an observation. Thank you.

Maybe I just lost a good woman, don't know, not sure. Can you tell through any means if this girl, Catherine, ever cared for me? or what the real reason was that she left me?

I'm no kid here. 60 years of age, US Army Veteran, still work for the Army. The girl was 63 and we both were in incredible physical condition.

Is there any way? I have to get this mess off my mind before it drives me insane. Mostly because I feel that I may have lost the chance of a lifetime.

Meet this woman on a Friday @ noon. 12 hours later we're passionately kissing and hugging because the attraction was there. Keep in mind now we took awhile before getting into that making out thing. Picnic, house tour, talking, movie, then 12 hours later the making out.


2nd night, the very next night, we have a great day, Saturday. That evening we're back to hugging/kissing and I mean fire sparks are flying.

She rakes her hand across my frontside and I know it's to see if I'm "excited". Because she mentioned some of the guys she'd dated in the past were "dead batteries". Pls don't laugh,,,,,,this is real and true.

She then twists her hips and presses into my leg so I'm knowing she's maybe wanting to go farther.

But I didn't do anything.........I kept from doing anything further because I was afraid she'd think I was there only for the sex.

Not true, I wanted a "rest of our lives" relationship.

Then the "no chemistry" breakup just 2 months later. I think I blew it when I didn't take her the 2nd night when she obviously wanted sex.

Did this woman feel rejected by me and I know some feel quite strongly if you don't act.

Plus, I think she may have viewed me as not being confident.

Please hope I've not intruded. Just angry at me because I feel like I've missed a chance that will never come again.

I've been single for 21 years so I'm not fresh on the dating scene so maybe I messed something else up.

Is there a way to win her back? Tell if she was honest? Heck, she won't even talk to me now.
------------------------------------

We both go to the same Church which is quite a large one. We're in the same sunday school class.

When I hear her voice my heart plunges within me. I keep praying, and I hear a voice telling me to "be patient". Like God is at work and things will work out with this girl.

Just today I did not go to Church because I am so depressed.

 

[dfreeland311]

15 posts to PM, & 32 years in the US Army to make this USA free.


SO I post this out in the open if anyone cares to make an observation:


Please don't be offended by anything you read here as it's merely an attempt to heal, and have an observation. My heart is crushed, I'm sick to my stomach, and in deep regret for not pursuing this girl in the manner I feel she was seeking. Understand that I am 60 and she is 63. At out age "desires" tend to lessen so she most likely was wanting to see if I was capable of being able to get physically intimate with her. Here's my story-->


I'm 60 years old/young and "chances/opportunities" don't come along very often.

Can you make an observation?

I've sent this to several people hoping for an opinion. Sometimes when a person is hurting, they don't think clearly. I'm really tired of being alone. Life is not so much fun being alone. Met this girl whom I sure thought was very interested in me.........at least that's how she acted, till about 1 1/2 months into the relationship, then she tells me "no more".

Here's a portion of the events and hope you might make an observation. Thank you.

Maybe I just lost a good woman, don't know, not sure. Can you tell through any means if this girl, Catherine, ever cared for me? or what the real reason was that she left me?

I'm no kid here. 60 years of age, US Army Veteran, still work for the Army. The girl was 63 and we both were in incredible physical condition.

Is there any way? I have to get this mess off my mind before it drives me insane. Mostly because I feel that I may have lost the chance of a lifetime.

Meet this woman on a Friday @ noon. 12 hours later we're passionately kissing and hugging because the attraction was there. Keep in mind now we took awhile before getting into that making out thing. Picnic, house tour, talking, movie, then 12 hours later the making out.


2nd night, the very next night, we have a great day, Saturday. That evening we're back to hugging/kissing and I mean fire sparks are flying.

She rakes her hand across my frontside and I know it's to see if I'm "excited". Because she mentioned some of the guys she'd dated in the past were "dead batteries". Pls don't laugh,,,,,,this is real and true.

She then twists her hips and presses into my leg so I'm knowing she's maybe wanting to go farther.

But I didn't do anything.........I kept from doing anything further because I was afraid she'd think I was there only for the sex.

Not true, I wanted a "rest of our lives" relationship.

Then the "no chemistry" breakup just 2 months later. I think I blew it when I didn't take her the 2nd night when she obviously wanted sex.

Did this woman feel rejected by me and I know some feel quite strongly if you don't act.

Plus, I think she may have viewed me as not being confident.

Please hope I've not intruded. Just angry at me because I feel like I've missed a chance that will never come again.

I've been single for 21 years so I'm not fresh on the dating scene so maybe I messed something else up.

Is there a way to win her back? Tell if she was honest? Heck, she won't even talk to me now.
------------------------------------

We both go to the same Church which is quite a large one. We're in the same sunday school class.

When I hear her voice my heart plunges within me. I keep praying, and I hear a voice telling me to "be patient". Like God is at work and things will work out with this girl.

Just today I did not go to Church because I am so depressed.

Eek, I feel your pain my friend. Also, thank you for your years of service :salute: After reading and rereading your story, it's complicated. It's different. Honestly, I think I got the 'no chemistry' response for the same reason. I didn't make a move. Right now, I'm in 'waiting patiently' mode but it's the same thing. Even the sound of her voice drives me bananas.

I'm starting to think acting like a gentleman rarely pays off...but on the other hand, it's what God calls us to do. Even if the answer is painful, it may be good to have a heart to heart with her. Don't come off as desperate, tell her you genuinely enjoy spending time with her, but you have unshakable convictions when it comes to certain issues, and you felt uncomfortable moving so fast.

The worst case scenario is that you are where you are now, still not talking to her, but have finality and can start thinking about moving on. At the very least, she may open up to being a friend with you even if there is no 'chemistry' I'm still friends with the girl that ripped out my heart, but everything is on the backburner right now. I've been dating other girls to get my mind off of her, but it's not working very well. Best case scenario is that she respects your decision, and you can rekindle the flames of your romance.

I guess the most important thing to realize is that you are already in a situation equal to your worst case scenario, with the caveat of trying to deal with the feeling of not knowing.

 

[Blueforest]

I will most likely always be alone, but it is only fair. I believe God is just and fair, and that the punishment is fitting.