Any Other Dissociative Systems Here?

[rhyddid_rose]

To Life Immortal

Hello.

We are the Pascha Family, a DID system with 9 members. I wanted to know if there are any other people learning to deal with being multiple and Christian.

I have posted before a while back, but I had problems with my account and had to create a new one. I would like to share with others going through the same struggles.

I was diagnosed as multiple last January. I have severe memory/time loss. I don't remember childhood or teen years much. What I do remember is that I was very afraid much of the time. I was hunted down by older children and teens for 3 years. I lived isolated from people for a very long time. I still live alone and sometimes I want to quit living because I'm afraid.

I am a new Christian and I'm trying to learn to fully trust Lord Jesus, but trust doesn't come easy and many times I feel I dont deserve things. I get very nervous when I hear 'I love you'. It is scary for me.

Relationship are very hard for me and I wish I learned how to make friends. The one thing I desire is that I would be able to accept that God loves me and doesn't wish me harm. I wish I could trust God more and not be afraid so much.


Peace and Long Life
~*~ Babochka ~*~

 

[makkulu]

Hi Babochka,

Welcome back to the forums. I have had DID and it certainly helped me to find a Christian counsellor who understood it, and didn't presume it was "all in my head" or something. Do you have someone like that? Certainly helped me while I was learning about Jesus and getting to know Him more, too.

I found trusting Jesus hard too, and it helped to remember that verse in Isaiah 42:3 - a bruised reed he will not break, a smoking flax he will not quench... and to remember that I don't earn His love in the first place. There is a verse in 1 John 319, which says that God is greater than our hearts and He knows everything, that might help, too.

Anyway, I don't know how many folks around here have DID or have had it or whatever. I have seen another Christian message board with more folks who have it, and chatted there occasionally myself. Feel free to PM me though if you would like to talk, or to see about visiting there as well.

Makk

 

[TheMainException]

Well....even if it makes you nervous.....I love you very much....even though I don't have DID.....I have learned about it....I hope that you are getting counseling for this.....if you need anything or just wanna talk sometime....go ahead and PM me....with all love, whether you think you deserve it or not, Lauren

 

[alilsa]

Yes, I had DID but the alters are suppose to all be integrated now. But the children inside still come out at times and the others. I have trouble talking about it though since my life got so bad screwed up. I have trouble trusting anybody too, even God. I got into cutting and burning and stuff, too. But the child inside just really wanted to feel God's love and know that He won't walk out on me like everybody else did that was put here that was suppose to love and take care of me. I got abused alot growing up. alot of sexual abuse, some physical, alot of verbal abuse and stuff. Did you cut or self injure too?

 

[rhyddid_rose]

To Life Immortal

Yes I used to hurt self as well. I haven't done so in a very very long time.

It is hard to learn to trust after being tricked and hurt and scared all the time. I'm still working on that. Many times I feel like I'm all alone and no one understands. I want to learn how to be God's friend and I want to learn how to help people.


Peace and Long Life
~*~ babochka ~*~