The biggest age gap I can recall in my own relationships is when I dated someone about four or five years my junior when I was in my late 20s. It didn't work out, and part of the reason why it didn't was that she was still wanting to party and I was never very good at that, so it was very uncomfortable for us both. I don't care to drink or stay out until 4 in the morning or anything like that. I figure that kind of thing could be more prevalent in a relationship with a large age gap, depending. Of course, it could also be present for people closer in age who just happen to have different personalities. No degree of closeness in age is going to make someone you don't actually fit with any better for you.
Subsequent to that, I've recently had a much younger girl who expressed interest in me for some reason ask about why we don't date, etc. She's ten years my junior, and while very nice and attractive and such, all I can say is...flighty. Flighty, flighty. I can't in good conscience tar her entire generation with that label, but then even the fact that I think of her as belonging to a different generation than I do indicates that this would probably never work, so I did not really entertain her question. That's the thing about younger people: Maybe it's just the ones I know, but it seems like there's an awful lot of 'finding oneself' going on well into the 20s these days. So you never really know where you stand, because a week from now they could be a completely different person after having read some book, or seen some film, or whatever it is that makes people think that they should make sweeping changes to their lives and identities based on these self-realizations they come to. And that's something I just find weird and cannot imagine coping with very well at all. Stability and a certain emotional consistency, along with reasonable and informed goal-setting, are things that I value a lot in people, regardless of what type of relationship I may have to them. Maybe I'm just past the age of being willing to date someone just because they seem intriguing that week or whatever, but it's like...come on, folks...life is not some hip indie movie where people are constantly having these deep revelations all set to experimental techno music, and everything is super-intense and everyone's emotions are amped up to 1,000 every single minute about every little thing. That's it. That's what I will say: With no disrespect meant to today's young people, I am
exhausted by most of them. I don't want to date someone who is exhausting when regular, everyday life without anyone else is already exhausting in its own way. St. John Chrysostom wrote that the pair in a Christian marriage (and hence I imagine any other type of relationship that could lead to marriage should fit here, too) should be like the hand and the eye: when the hand is hurt, the eye should be crying, and when the eye is crying, the hand should wipe away the tears. Not when the hand is hurt the eye should flip out because AHHH I JUST CAN'T EVEN DEAL WITH THIIIIIS RIGHT NOWWWWW! I'M GOING TO GO BACKPACKING IN INDIA AND CONVERT TO HINDUISM BECAUSE THEY GET EXTRA EYES!!!
Just...please stop assaulting me with your...life.
