Advice To the Opposite Sex

[Tink]

Strav, goodness. I don't know why she seems so riled up, but I can actually understand where you're coming from. I talk to my husband in spurts so that he's not overloaded with information, and he does the same for me.

 

[Stravinsk]

Strav, goodness. I don't know why she seems so riled up, but I can actually understand where you're coming from. I talk to my husband in spurts so that he's not overloaded with information, and he does the same for me.

I think anyone who's been married knows this, or otherwise in a close relationship knows - it's just easy to forget sometimes especially if one of the people wants to/needs to talk a lot. My head space needs cave time, more so because I'm a guy and also because some of the things I do require it.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I was riled up? ...I'm a blunt person, so I simply tell it like it is. I'm sorry if it seemed as though I was riled up because I certainly wasn't.

I, too, understand what Stravinsk is saying. My point was, if he's going to harp on a relationship needing 'good communication', then he needs to make sure he makes it known and clear to his wife/girlfriend that he has a such a problem, that way they've established 'good communication' on the issue. Not touching on the fact that you a particular problem is only going to leave your spouse in the dark, so it wouldn't be right to be aggravated if your spouse becomes irritated over you forgetting to do whatever it was she asked you to do. If she knows about the problem, then A) She'll be more mindful to not overload you, and B) Should you still forget, chances are she'll be much more understanding and forgiving.

 

[Tink]

I was riled up? ...I'm a blunt person, so I simply tell it like it is. I'm sorry if it seemed as though I was riled up because I certainly wasn't.

I, too, understand what Stravinsk is saying. My point was, if he's going to harp on a relationship needing 'good communication', then he needs to make sure he makes it known and clear to his wife/girlfriend that he has a such a problem, that way they've established 'good communication' on the issue. Not touching on the fact that you a particular problem is only going to leave your spouse in the dark, so it wouldn't be right to be aggravated if your spouse becomes irritated over you forgetting to do whatever it was she asked you to do. If she knows about the problem, then A) She'll be more mindful to not overload you, and B) Should you still forget, chances are she'll be much more understanding and forgiving.

You did seem upset, yes. I'm sorry for misinterpreting your statements. I understand better now what you're saying. Thanks!

 

[Maka]

Hmmmmm advice Got one!! Don't be a stalker.. =)

 

[Keri]

Guys, if a girl is at a club and she's dancing with her girlfriend, it's NOT an invitation for you to join them. I don't care how funny you think you're being. It's rude.

 

[Keri]

Hmmmmm advice Got one!! Don't be a stalker.. =)

Good advice!!!

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Ladies,

Good communication is absolutely necessary for it to work.

Also,

There is such a thing as too much communication. We men (or, at least me) have word intake limit. Although I couldn't tell you what number that is, exactly, I can tell you that once it's reached I'll be nodding my head and saying "mmm" and "uh huh" and "ok" but only because I don't want to be rude and I'm only half listening.

So when I forget about the dinner date we had with X family or that I was supposed to pick up such and such and claim that you never told me that - it's probably because my word intake limit had been reached when you told me and it flew out of my brain as fast as it came in, and into the ether.

easy solution: pull out your phone and write stuff in the reminders app. or, if you have a flip phone for some reason, get a better phone

 

[PinkSweetart]

(Hopefully other girls can relate to these and they are not just preferences)

-Do sweet things for her. It doesn't have to be much, or even all the time. Just something that shows you care.
-Take her out to meet your friends and family. If you're together, introduce her as your gf.
- Let her know she's beautiful. This one is a little tricky... don't overuse it, and don't be creepy about it.
- Don't compare her to other girls! Unless you're saying she's amazing and not like any other girl.
-If she offers to pay ask her if she is sure, and then let her know you're thankful for the gesture, and then let her pay.
- Don't be a gentleman if you're not genuine about it. If it's something you're doing just to "get the girl" then you're just wasting time.

-Respect "the flow". Okay that sounds gross, but really. Some girls do suffer from PMS, so be understanding and grateful that you're body isn't designed to have babies.

-Don't call us babies. Most of us are tougher than you think.

This last one might just be a preference, but...
when a guy takes a picture of me on his phone, I practically melt. Sure I'll probably think I look hideous, but the fact that he wanted a pic of me on his phone, that he thought I was "cute" and silly enough to be taken a photo of, well that just makes me happy. However if your intent is to make fun of her then DON'T DO IT!

 

[ImperialPhantom]

For teh womenz:

-Your past, especially your sexual past, does not make you any more or less worthy of love, whether you are a virgin or a nonvirgin.
-Your mind and spirit are just as important as your body, no matter your body shape, how you dress, how you walk etc.
-Men will lust no matter how you dress. Ultimately, while I'm not advocating running around nude, Jesus told us that we are ultimately responsible for our own sin. You are not responsible for someone else's sin. Their sin issue is their sin issue.
-If any man disagrees with these, drop kick him through the uprights.

 

[4christ88]

For teh womenz:


-Men will lust no matter how you dress. Ultimately, while I'm not advocating running around nude, Jesus told us that we are ultimately responsible for our own sin. You are not responsible for someone else's sin. Their sin issue is their sin issue.
-If any man disagrees with these, drop kick him through the uprights.

Oh Mr.Imperial Phantom...
how i wish my dad would read ur point lol...back in my home country and he's completely cracked down on my dressing...not that i didnt dress modestly before things like not wearing jeans and sleeveless cuz don;t wanna tempt men around me to sin, right? ...arrgh so aggravating! lol any single ladies in their mid twenties still got their dad overprotecting them from over-hormonal boys ahem i mean men???! haha

 

[alyssadarling]

Men: Take care of women, never abuse a woman's kindness either. If you love her show her.

 

[Maka]

Men: Take care of women, never abuse a woman's kindness either. If you love her show her.

I love this!!

 

[Thunder Peel]

Advice to both sexes: personal hygiene counts. Seriously. Brush your teeth regularly and floss, shower, wear deodorant, take care of your hair and wear clean clothes. It's 2013: there's no excuse to smell and look like you've just survived the apocalypse.

 

[AwesomeSock]

Advice to both sexes: personal hygiene counts. Seriously. Brush your teeth regularly and floss, shower, wear deodorant, take care of your hair and wear clean clothes. It's 2013: there's no excuse to smell and look like you've just survived the apocalypse.

Zombie uprising not withstanding, I expect my future spouse to always have minty-fresh breath.

 

[BlueLioness]

*Deep sigh* I'm not very good at this...

 

[lsdj]

Ladies, Good communication is absolutely necessary for it to work. Also, There is such a thing as too much communication. We men (or, at least me) have word intake limit. Although I couldn't tell you what number that is, exactly, I can tell you that once it's reached I'll be nodding my head and saying "mmm" and "uh huh" and "ok" but only because I don't want to be rude and I'm only half listening.

So when I forget about the dinner date we had with X family or that I was supposed to pick up such and such and claim that you never told me that - it's probably because my word intake limit had been reached when you told me and it flew out of my brain as fast as it came in, and into the ether.

The irony here is you could have summed all of this up neatly (as well as avoided the collateral damage) had you simply advised for women to "get to the point".

Men are simple creatures. We see black. We see white. Grey is too many details and too much time spent accomplishing, in our minds that is, nothing. I have devised a rather comedic approach to whenever I need to drop this particular hint to my wife. When she gets long-winded on a topic or instructions for me to do some task, I simply look at my watch. This reaction is funny (to her) because I don't wear one and am rather famous for saying, "take your time, I've got ALL day" when most around me are growing very impatient.

 

[Owlette]

Old but good thread. Worthy of a bump.

 

[Inkachu]

I'm surprised I never chimed in on this

For now, I just wanna respond that I totally feel Strav's frustrations (and it's the same for a lot of men, I guess)... but mostly because I'm the same way lol. I can't multi-task. If I'm reading something, and you're in the next room yelling something to me, I won't hear you. If you're going on and on about a subject I don't know much about, I'll really try to stay with you, but at some point, my brain starts to get all fuzzy, like a TV that's lost its signal, and I'm a goner. And if I'm tired at night, and you suddenly want to talk for an hour about your day... again, I'll really try to hang in there with what you're saying, but at some point, my brain stops processing lol. Now, I don't let my dear hubby ramble on and just pretend to be listening; that's rude and inexcusable, as Miss Spaulding pointed out. So I'll say "Sorry babe, the brain is shutting down" and he usually heaves a sigh and then I feel bad, but... it is what it is!

 

[jimmybones]

Women: I really have no idea what you are thinking about, or how you are feeling, so instead of asking me, just tell me what the problem is!