adult children has a whole host of problems for my marriage.

[vigilantsoul]

My son is 18 and half years. I found out these last few months he is no longer a virgin. I did go through a grieving period.

He has a girlfriend and he gets into manipulations with me and my husband about the sleeping arrangements.

She stayed over last night and there was a heated argument with son and husband and so she slept in the loungeroom. She is only 16, 17 next week.

I dont approve of him sleeping with her in my house. It is just not appropriate, his other brother shares this bedroom.

What I really want to know is with those young adult children, where do they go to be intimate?
I no longer have any christian influence on him, I tried, but he his making his own way.
I want to be respectful of my other children as well.

Having adult children has its own strains on my marriage.

I got really annoyed with my husband and told him to stop being our son's friend and be his parent and take dominance over our household.

 

[PolarBear3]

I agree with what you're doing. I have two adult step-daughters - one who lives with us. The one who doesn't live with us has a boyfriend and we have said that her boyfriend can sleep at our house when they are visiting (he's from another town) but they must sleep in separate rooms. This is especially important because we have two other kids at home. But even if we didn't, we would still have the same rule. If they want to sleep together, they need to find another place to spend the night. This issue hasn't come up with the one who lives with us, but she knows the rule.

Where do they go to be intimate? I don't really want to know. They are adults and that's their business, but we don't want it to be at our house because we believe they should wait until marriage. Frankly, they may not be having intercourse, but I'm not going to ask.

While your son is technically an adult, he's still living at your house and needs to follow your rules. And I think those rules are important particularly for your other children. They need to know that you do not approve of their brother's behavior.

Are you and your husband able to talk about what rules you both want? It's better to have the rules in place before situations like this come up. I know that's not always possible, but trying to talk it over with him before this happens again may help.

 

[vigilantsoul]

Thankyou for taking the thought and time to respond. I am appreciative.

Sometimes I just want a validation from other parents and I got it.
I do know how I want things to be in the home, but I have this little bug in the back of my mind, that tries to second guess me.

I do need to make time to talk before hand with my husband. we are busy people, but this needs a priority.