about that dog....

[ImaginaryDay]

ok ok ok sheesh

he was let out several times and had just been out like 2 hours prior when he "leaked". yeah, if he'd been stuck up in the house all day and then he peed id see how people would think i was psycho for getting mad.
he doesn't bark when he wants to go out. i probably should have made that more clear... all he does is jump on the bed and make huffle-snuffle sounds and whine.
the barking happens as soon as he goes outside. he yaps all the way down the stairs because - ??? but i can hear it from up here in the 3rd floor and its embarrassing because i know the neighbors can all hear it too.
Then, when he gets to the bottom, if he sees another dog, he barks real vicious and loud and goes psycho. i can hear that all the way across the neighborhood. also embarrassing.
he won't stop until my husband picks him up and holds his snout shut.
hence why i said "anxiety shirt" because my mom said "get a muzzle leash" and he won't do it.

Did you see the link that I gave you to the bark collar? It really does work, and is not inhumane. Sometimes the issue of "he won't do it" has to become an issue of "we are doing it".

 

[bluegreysky]

I might just try to get use to the dog being in the room and waking me up when he wakes my husband up...
but I might just start "doing things" about the rest of it. He's better from his UTI and acting more normal now but anything else I don't like, I might just take action. go ahead and buy a anxiety wrap. schedule him for proper grooming (my husband will waste 4 hours trying to do it himself and it's patchy looking). pick up doggie pads and diapers should he get another UTI.
find and arrange for training sessions myself because its not like hubby has time.
he can owe me in date nights and favors.

 

[ImaginaryDay]

Sounds reasonable. Seriously, though - bark collar.

 

[bluegreysky]

Ok I'll take "Bark Collar" for $500, Alex!


its the one thing this entire week he's said "maybe" to and not "NO!"

 

[ValleyGal]

Barking collars are $50, not $500. A very good investment. I had one for one of my previous dogs, and it worked. It's better than complaining neighbours.

ETA: My apologies. Since posting, I have learned that the reference to $500 is not to the collar but to a game called "Jeopardy." I don't watch it, so.... sorry.

 

[bluegreysky]

LOL

 

[snoochface]

Have you considered counseling for your issues? Your anxiety, your OCD, your insomnia? That could take care of far more issues than the one you have with this dog.

 

[bluegreysky]

Yes I've considered that.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I agree with most of what you said except for the last sentence. When my husband and I were first discussing getting dogs and getting into breeding, we talked about who would be responsible for the animals. He made it very clear that the dogs are mine, my business, my rescues, my responsibility. He loves them and enjoys them. If I am not home he takes care of them, and he helps with with grooming of the big dogs. But at the end of the day they are mine, digestion issues are my responsibility to clean up. Training is my job. Taking them out, bringing them in, taking them to the vet, staying up with them if they are not feeling well, socializing. That is all my job. We had the same conversation when he wanted to get a snake. I made it very clear the snake is his, and he should be the one to take care of it. I pick up food on the way home and hold it while he's cleaning it space. But that snake is not my responsibility. He has never made it feel like it is. If her husband knew it was going to be his responsibility to take care of the animal he should step up and do it. If he is not training the dog to be able to function in the home with his wife its an issue with him also, not just with the dog.

We don't have any pets; my wife and I. I kind of find snake skin interesting, but as long as they are dead!

There is an interesting reptile sanctuary at South of the Border, in SC.

 

[bluegreysky]

well a few weeks ago the dog was irritating me to the point of saying i wish he'd go somewhere else

this week, the tables turned quite drastically when my husband took him back to the vet and received diagnosis that while some of the issue was improving, the UTI wasn't going away enough and the dog needed a stronger medication. the surprise $106 bill on top of all hubby's other stress made him freak out and say that "if the dog is going to cost a lot, he needs to find him another home".

I had a chance to stick up for the dog, since I was aware just the week before, my husband wanted me to chill out since this dog is kind of a therapy for my husband.
I asked him if "money aside, the dog was a necessary form of therapy" for my PTSD husband and he is. hubby would be completely heartbroken if he had to give up on the dog he said. so i put my foot down and said "no don't do it". hubby will bail on things sometimes when they unexpectedly cost a lot.
its a tendency that might have saved him from a few unnecessary debts but other times makes him seem flaky. i reminded him that when we got the dog we said it was our "child" and our practice for if we have children and if he was a real child, we couldn't just get rid of him if he was annoying (speaking for myself there) or if he was expensive. and if he got sick and needed more medical attention, we would make it happen somehow.


ok so there i redeemed myself.

 

[faroukfarouk]

well a few weeks ago the dog was irritating me to the point of saying i wish he'd go somewhere else

this week, the tables turned quite drastically when my husband took him back to the vet and received diagnosis that while some of the issue was improving, the UTI wasn't going away enough and the dog needed a stronger medication. the surprise $106 bill on top of all hubby's other stress made him freak out and say that "if the dog is going to cost a lot, he needs to find him another home".

I had a chance to stick up for the dog, since I was aware just the week before, my husband wanted me to chill out since this dog is kind of a therapy for my husband.
I asked him if "money aside, the dog was a necessary form of therapy" for my PTSD husband and he is. hubby would be completely heartbroken if he had to give up on the dog he said. so i put my foot down and said "no don't do it". hubby will bail on things sometimes when they unexpectedly cost a lot.
its a tendency that might have saved him from a few unnecessary debts but other times makes him seem flaky. i reminded him that when we got the dog we said it was our "child" and our practice for if we have children and if he was a real child, we couldn't just get rid of him if he was annoying (speaking for myself there) or if he was expensive. and if he got sick and needed more medical attention, we would make it happen somehow.


ok so there i redeemed myself.

Interesting; for myself, I find dogs rather stressful...

 

[bluegreysky]

oh yeah I totally agree with you.
Yesterday I slipped up big time. My husband was on the phone in his office so... dead to the world... and the dog starting barking while I was trying to use the restroom. He was barking like a psycho and so I finally gave up on using the restroom and went out into the livingroom and screamed at him and banged something on the metal arm of the futon-couch. He slinked away into a corner.
Yes, my husband came out and saw that. Yes, I got a "talking to".
No, I'm not proud of losing my temper.
Yes, dogs ARE stressful.
No, I'm not going to go back to demanding we give it up just because he was being a psycho.
I'll just ignore his psycho barking next time.
Maybe if the neighbor comments on it, I'll tell them the'yre the psychos.

 

[Dave-W]

Rather - you can get a remote control collar that will give a shock when barking - either in automatic mode or you can trigger it manually. The dog quickly learns to not bark.

 

[mkgal1]

Rather - you can get a remote control collar that will give a shock when barking - either in automatic mode or you can trigger it manually. The dog quickly learns to not bark.

See my comments on this earlier. Dogs communicate via barking.......silencing their communication via a shock will just force them into another means of getting one's attention (ie tearing things up or other behavior---peeing on things). To punish an animal for having needs that aren't convenient to address (IMO) is cruel. (BlueGreySky.....I'm not saying you're doing this---just that is what's being suggested to you & I disagree with that "solution").

 

[mkgal1]

This just came through my FB news feed, and it caused me to think of this thread. It'd be horrible if this dog's family used a bark collar and used it when this dog came to their bed when they were sleeping. I'm grateful (and I know they are as well) that they investigated what the dog needed:

 

[snoochface]

Instead of ignoring the dog when it is behaving in a way that you don't want, why not actually train the dog to behave in a way you do want? You can't respond to a dog barking insanely by acting insanely toward it. You scream, bang loud things, scare it into a corner -- that's not teaching the dog that you don't want it to bark. That's responding to insanity with insanity. It's cruel and it's not going to help your situation at all.

You would benefit a great deal (and so would your dog) with some obedience training with an animal behaviorist. If you can't afford it or can't invest the time in it, try reading some books by Cesar Millan about how dogs communicate and what it means to be their pack leader.

Dogs are not mind readers. They react instinctively to their environment. They don't know what you want them to do unless you show them.

 

[ImaginaryDay]

See my comments on this earlier. Dogs communicate via barking.......silencing their communication via a shock will just force them into another means of getting one's attention (ie tearing things up or other behavior---peeing on things). To punish an animal for having needs that aren't convenient to address (IMO) is cruel. (BlueGreySky.....I'm not saying you're doing this---just that is what's being suggested to you & I disagree with that "solution").

This actually isn't what happens. It's sort of like Pavlovian conditioning.With the collar, the dog barks, and a tone is emitted. If the dog barks again, then a mild current is sent. It only increases to a certain point - not enough to hurt the dog, but enough to get the barking to stop. Classic negative conditioning (negative stimulus bringing about a desired response). Eventually the dog learns to respond to the tone and not bark.
And with a friend of ours, when her dog is not wearing the collar, he will bark. So the behavior is not completely extinguished.

 

[mkgal1]

I'm not going to argue with you. I will only say that it's frustrating for a dog (just as it's frustrating for us!) to not be able to "communicate" their needs.

when her dog is not wearing the collar, he will bark. So the behavior is not completely extinguished.

Right. He's figured out the collar is what he has to fear. Fear isn't my idea of a good motivator. I prefer that my dog trusts me (personally) and that he knows his good behavior will be rewarded.

 

[ImaginaryDay]

I'm not going to argue with you...

No argument. Just trying to be objective.

 

[Hetta]

I really wouldn't have kids at this point in your lives, with your psychological conditions and stresses. Not when a dog has you both this stressed. Shouting at a dog, making loud noises - I can't even imagine what that would serve other than to make the animal feel that it lives in a very dangerous environment. It doesn't reason that "because I barked, she banged on something", it just knows that it was frightened and threatened. Either find it a decent home, or get it into some training program. Those are the only two options I can imagine.