I have recently started to look for a new church to attend after 27 years of not attending church.
There is one thing I am really struggling with. I became a Christian in 1985. I had several relationships with Christian girls. None of these worked out. One girl in particular we split up then a couple of years later we got back together again. I genuinely thought she was the one and she was the one that initiated the relationship. I adored her.
However, it didn't work out and I was very hurt.
Many years later she is very active in her church, does Samaritans and charity stuff. I am married to a non christian. She is a lovely sweet person but wants nothing to do with church. She sees it as something people have to comfort themselves and if that helps them then that's fine but it's not for her.
I know we have free will, but if I had had my wishes I would have married the christian girl i loved and have never met my wife.
I don't want this to sound like I am not happy with my wife but I cannot understand this as I thought the Lord would give me a Christian wife. It all seems so random and left to chance without any kind of God like guiding hand.
*You exercised your free will and married a non-Christian...I did the same thing many years ago...
God isn't to be blamed...I don't blame him for something I choose to do...
even though I knew it went against scripture.
I know the heartache and the struggles one goes through when one is married to an unsaved person...my first marriage lasted nearly seven years
before he walked out on me to be with his girlfriend
whom he married after our quick divorce was finalized.
Can anyone offer any explanations for this as it makes no sense to me?
Thanks
David
*God's guiding hand... His Word is our guide, we can obey it or reject it. There are godly men and women who are in place for us to turn to for sound biblical advice... I knew of some but I didn't go to them, I went to my "friends" who gave worldly advice, of course it was dressed up to sound just right and
was pleasing to the ear.
Not listening...
I remember my minister telling me that I shouldn't be
unequally yoked, I quickly shot down his remark with some clever quip...turns out I wasn't so clever after all.
Like so many I ended up yearning for a godly spouse.
..and hating myself for being so stupid for ignoring all
the red flags and not listening to my minister.
God was still there...Christians would drift in and out
of my life all the time I was in that first marriage.
I remember how the Lord kept me going when the
rough times came, the on-going affairs my husband
had, his rude/crude friends who he let belittle me etc.
The Lord would send in a kind stranger to encourage
me and or to bless me. Then came the blessing of a
great paying job and finding friends instead of uncaring employers.
When my husband left me for his girlfriend-- it was
the lady I worked for who made it possible for me
to pay off all the debt my former husband left owing.
[My ex found a way to work "under the table" and since he had "no income" the bill collectors came after me...I could of lost everything but the Lord put me with the right people who would help.]
Advice on being in a marriage to an unsaved person:
1 Corinthians 7:12 "To the rest I say (I, not the Lord)
that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and
she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.
Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is,
they are holy.
But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so.
In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved.
God has called you to peace.
For how do you know, wife, whether you will save
your husband?
Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save
your wife?"
*Do you have a good strong base of Christian support?
For example: prayer warriors, advisors, mentors.
If you don't, do see about getting connected with the
aforementioned people.
Also...
There's a book by the Strobels on being in a spiritually
mismatched marriage...have you read it?
It's available over at www.christianbook.com. --
Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage
By: Lee Strobel, Leslie Strobel
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father encourage you and strengthen you in every good thing
you do and say. God loved us, and through his grace he gave us a good hope and encouragement that continues forever.”
1 Peter 1:3-4
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
In God’s great mercy he has caused us to be born again
into a living hope, because Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Now we hope for the blessings God has for his children. These blessings, which cannot be destroyed or be spoiled
or lose their beauty are kept in heaven for you.”
Colossians 2:6-7
“As you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so continue to live in him. Keep your roots deep in him and have your lives built on him. Be strong in the faith, just as you were taught, and always be thankful.”
