Dealing with disappointment and bitterness

Two years ago I was rejected by Cambridge University, and I have never been able to get over this event. Ever since 12 I had wanted to go to Cambridge and worked exceedingly hard coming in the top 5 of my year in a good private school every year from then on. In GCSEs I got 8A*s and 2 As and in AS level I got 4As. Everything seemed to be going well for me and I was sure I would get in but then I was struck by depression and had a semi-mental breakdown when I was 16. Since then while I did not allow it to let my studies suffer, my enthusiasm and joie de vivre was severly diminished. I don't know whether they sensed this or not, but I ended up being rejected.
After that I went downhill completely, and while I could have reapplied, I just did not think I could face a gap year doing very little. Work was my sole method of escaping.

While I am better now, I am not enjoying university and cannot help wishing i was at Cambridge which I think would have suited me so well, and it annoys me that lots of people at my school who I was a lot cleverer than and outperformed in every year in exams got in. What is worse I knew that I could have got in if I hadn't been so depressed at the time, and what is even more worse is that the depression was my fault! After having everything so perfect before 16 I screwed everything up.

I know it shouldn't mean so much to me and I should be happy I got into any university, but I just can't seem to help feeling this way. I also find myself being envious of any Cambridge students or graduates I meet, and every time I hear the word Cambridge I feel bitterness and sadness.

How can I get over this disappointment?

I had the exact same problem. I worked my butt off in high school and never got into any ivy leagues. My peers were just too darn I don't know what it is.

But I learned that it doesn't matter where you go to college. As long as you do good there. And after college, you can get into grad school maybe where you want to go.

And then in college I worked my butt off to go to med school, and my grades and MCAT scores are just not high enough. But at least in college I finally found God's word and taught myself to write screenplays.

In life, these education thing don't matter that much..what matters is that you know God's word and manifest it in whatever you do. Lots of ppl go to ivy's but leave to find a bad job or are unhappy, God get's them into a car accident or some bad thing.

Just be happy & loyal to God ..that's all you need and trust him for he loves you more than those ppl who don't know God at all.

We won't know why the road turned to the left or to the right until we are on the other side of the mountain where God will reveal all. Discouragement, depression, resentment of others, a sense of failure or inadequacy causes people (even Christians) to dislike themselves and even to distrust God. Dwelling on these negative feelings will lead you to full-blown self-pity. Don't go there. Choose the path of gratitude instead. Do you want to be a happy person? Look at all that God has given you already instead of being angry you didn't get everthing you wanted. Be thankful for all, especially small things. You don't know what marvelous things God has in His plans for you in the future. Why cry now? Happiness depends on what you are, not what you have. For a new start--ask God for a new heart.

ShetlandRose

Mmm. Thanks smash_kate, I am glad that I am not the only one who feels the same about not getting into the college I wanted to. I suppose I have always prided myself on my intelligence and academic ability as that was the only thing i really shone at and made me feel special, and getting rejected by Cambridge caused me to doubt everything I believed about my ability: maybe I am not that clever after all? Oddly the things I am the most insecure about are the things that qualities others tend to associate me with.

Also for me Cambridge wasn't just a good college, it was the whole enviroment and experience: the boating on the River Cam, the colleges, the history, the tradition, the prestige, and being surrounded by lots of clever interesting people from a similar academic, educational and class background.

I realise I should be happy with what God has planned for me and what he has already blessed on me, but I can't help feeling the way I do. Maybe it will just take a lot more prayer and trust in God's plan for me. Perhaps if everything had gone to plan I wouldn't have felt the need to seek God's help and try and find God. Perhaps I would have turned into the stereotypical snobbish, arrogant Cambridge graduate who feels that they are above everyone and superior just because they went to Cambridge. Maybe failure is God's way of teaching me humility, something I desperately need to learn.

Sorry for thinking aloud like this. I think it is doing some healing though. I also realise that once I graduate and get a good job it will cease to matter so much and as shetland rose said I will learn to be happy with who I am rather than what I have.

Sax, learning to trust the Lord is a lifelong journey. Eventually you will see why His plans were not only good, but far more satisfying than you could imagine. And when you see it, it will increase your faith. And then, there will be another area where you will be tested. And another. And you'll grow stronger and stronger.

I heard on the radio of a mission couple serving in a difficult area of Africa. They were Swedish. But the wife contracted malaria and died in childbirth. The couple had only seen one conversion of a twelve year old boy, and that was it. The husband was so distraught he went back to Sweden, where he backslid and maybe fell away, He became an alcoholic, and the baby girl was raised by missionaries. I think they died as well, because she ended up in the hands of a third set of missionaries who raised her, and she became a Christian. One day she attended a conference and there was a man from the same area of Africa as her birth parents had served in. She asked if he knew her parents. Indeed he did; he was the twelve-year-old boy. He was their sole conversion.

Who then went on to convert 100,000 people.

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