Unworthiness and Guilt

I am a Christian who fell into a sinful lifestyle for about 6 months. During that time, I had casual sex with two men . I now have abandoned that lifestyle, yet I still struggle. I know I am forgiven, yet I often feel unworthy to someday marry. It's almost as if I feel that since I have sinned in this way, I now live with the consequence that I will always be single. I do realize that I can be content with my singleness - that is not in question. It's more the issue of feeling very unworthy of attention from males, even in a purely friendly way. Any thoughts?

I am gong to PM you springjoy, if that's okay.

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"Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts,And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? For since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation." II Peter Ch. 3 vs. 3 & 4

"Don't you know my name yet? That's the only answer. Tell me, who are you, alone, yourself, and nameless? But you are young and I am old. Eldest, that's what I am." - Tom Bombadil, FotR

You might consider how Rahab, Judah, and David felt, all of whom were in the line of Christ. The other question is if there are limits on God's ability to purify someone and restore them. There are none - total restoration is there, and that is the greatest of comforts. God can not only forgive, He can heal the wounds we have inflicted on ourselves by our sins, so we can be whole of heart again in His service (in all aspects, including christian marriage). The question is if you can let the guilt of the past go into the past and live in the future, clean in God's forgiveness, purified by Christ's work - and that takes work and letting God be the judge, not only of your sin, but also of your redemption and restoration. He didn't only die for our sins before we were Christians, He died for all of our sins. And he restores our souls. :^)

This is not a chiding - this is an encouragement! There are no limits - our all-powerful God redeems all the way, even from the greatest of sins! Our great Healer can heal all wounds!

Who do you think wants you to feel that way, heaven or hell?

Thinking you are unworthy is a terrible feeling when comparing yourself to other people, in this case, males. We are all unworthly and fallen. Obession with guilt can often lead people to a more difficult relationship with God.

Are you not worthy of salvation? Are you not worthy enough to be considered a child of God through Christ? How can you be worthy of such a gift and not worthy of a wonderful christian husband someday?

*hugs* Springnjoy, you and I could have been typing that same story. I also fell away from Christ for about 6 months. I had casual sex with several men, most on the first date and some I can't even remember their names. I struggled with the feeling like I was damaged goods. I felt that no decent Christian man would want to be with me after knowing even a small amount about my sordid past. Then I read Joshua Harris' When Boy Meets Girl and read the moving story about Shannon Harris telling Josh (when they were courting) that she lost her virginity at the age of 14 and had given her body to men wrecklessly all througout high school and college. As hard as it was for him to hear this part of her life he realized he loved her and knew that God held her past. He forgave her and God has blessed their marriage immensely.

You have asked God to forgive you. He has forgiven you, He holds your past. When you feel guilty and ashamed God is hurting over that because He has already wiped the slate clean for you. We're human, so it's only natural we tend to hang on to those feelings of regret, but realize that it is one of satan's tricks. Just know that God loves you and that your sins have been forgiven. You seem to be back on the right track an someday when God puts "the one" in your life, he will love you regardless of what happened in your past. God bless you.

Luke 7:36-43:
36 Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee's house, and sat down to eat. 37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, 38 and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, "This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner."
40 And Jesus answered and said to him, "Simon, I have something to say to you."
So he said, "Teacher, say it."
41 "There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?"
43 Simon answered and said, "I suppose the one whom he forgave more."
And He said to him, "You have rightly judged."

I've cared deeply for a couple women in my life who have had very troubled pasts. I have a troubled past myslef. Everyone does to a certain extent. Everyone needs to view people for who they are not who they were. Guilt is not from God, love and forgivness are. Hold onto your promises given to you by God and rejoice in your forgiveness. Also keep in mind that the husband is to love the wife as Christ loved the church. Christ forgave women who had done things a lot worse than what you have done i'm sure. You are clean and pure in God's eyes, no one should think any diffrent of you.

AMEN...........and hey springnjoy, i'd be your friend any day.

Wow Springnjoy I was thinking the same thing all day today, the part about not being worthy of a womans love. i went to the jazz club with a friend hoping that it would clear up but naw, still feel the same. Just sayin I know what your going through. Give it time, it will pass. God heals all our wounds.

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We all have pasts to get over wether they are sexual or not. So don't think there is anyway you are not worthy of a loving christian husband, because if so, he's just as unworthy of having you because he is also a sinner.

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"Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts,And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? For since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation." II Peter Ch. 3 vs. 3 & 4

"Don't you know my name yet? That's the only answer. Tell me, who are you, alone, yourself, and nameless? But you are young and I am old. Eldest, that's what I am." - Tom Bombadil, FotR