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Singles (only*) A forum for the support of single members or Christians with the gift of celibacy. Forum restricted to members 18 and older. NOTE: This is not a dating or matchmaking service. *See Statement of Purpose

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  #1  
Old 30th December 2003, 11:40 PM
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Would I be a total freak if....

I decided to stay celibate and single?
There's lots of things I'm at conflict with it the bible, about women being submissive to their husbands. Maybe I was just meant to stay single and independent...
I can't believe how I can misread men's signals sometimes....and I can never stay in a longterm relationship because I want to have my independence and pull away when I feel like someone is trying to control me.
With each relationship I have I feel like I'm getting closer to meeting the person I'm supposed to meet, but when it doesn't work out, I feel like I know absolutely nothing about love.
Does anyone really know anything about love? The only thing that is permanent and concrete is God. Everything else fails.
I think that if I date other people it would be unfair to give them the idea that I might be interested in something more permanent (who knows, maybe marriage one day) if I'm not. I like doing activities with a partner like dancing and having a great discussion, but more like a companion. I don't want to have a romantic relationship if I know I don't want it to lead anywhere.
Would I be a freak to declare celibacy? It's not something you hear nowadays. If you do, it's by people wanting to be priests or nuns.
It would be strange to announce to everyone that that's what I want to do, but I'm fed up with being hurt by love. And nothing is permanent anyway.
I find that when I'm in a relationship I have a hard time balancing God and the person i love. It can be a struggle sometimes and it distracts from my relationship with Christ.
If there was a way to diminish sexual energy I would do it. That would be one of my reasons for wanting to marry, because it is normal to have some sexual desire. But my life would be so much more meaningful if I dedicated myself to a worthy cause, like child poverty for instance, and focused on God.
It seems like problems multiply when there are two people. It seems like God didn't make me to have a lifelong partner.
I have way too many independent streaks and male-type characteristics to be a submissive female. I am not homosexual, but there are parts of the bible that I read that are meant for men and I can totally relate, as long as I reverse man for woman and woman for man. I don't know of too many people like that.
Sorry for babbling, but I'd love to hear some feadback.
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  #2  
Old 30th December 2003, 11:51 PM
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I think alot of women deal with that. Some women don't want to be married out of fear or they disagree with the Biblical principles of godly submission. A woman can still be independent and submit to her husband. In fact, godly submission is very liberating because it is all a part of God's design.

I think that it is perfectly normal to remain single and celibate for life so long as it's God's calling and not a means of dodging Biblical principles. Whatever you decide to do I wish you the best of luck.
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Old 31st December 2003, 12:03 AM
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Let's see...

First I want to make a comment. You mentioned about women being submissive to the husband. It also says that the husband is supposed to love the wife as Christ loved the church. I personally think that in a balanced marriage with Christ at the center, the wouldn't be a feeling of submissiveness, but two becoming one and working together. Maybe that's a fairt tale, but that's what I think.

I can understand not wanting to get hurt anymore. I got hurt really good about a year ago, and I am still feeling it. Personally, I think as ones get's older that pain is worse, so I often question myself if it is worth trying to meet people anymore. I'm not sure, I do know that in the future, I must be more careful.

As far as a celibacy choice. I would never commit such a thing unless God was leading you that way. I have to assume that there is a lot of joy in finding someone special to spend your life with, so declaring celbacy would be a sacrifice in your life. I guess, the point is to pray hard about it, and really think about why you would want to do something like this.

I probably didn't help...
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Old 31st December 2003, 12:07 AM
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Personally, I don't see why wanting to remain single and celibate would be freakish or disobediant. There are plenty of Biblical people who were single for one reason or another and used that time to complete God's will. If you are doing listening to your own heart and listening to the Spirit, then this shouldn't be a big deal. I don't believe all people are destined to marry. I think we all have the capability but some of us will not. And just because some of us may not, does not mean that we still can not do God's biding.
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Old 31st December 2003, 10:49 AM
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It wouldn't be freaky. In fact I would sugest you stay single till you can work it all out. I believe you must know who you are before you can know someone else. If you are having problems with Gods word on relationships then by all means stay out of them lol.

Mrstace is right too by the way. Submiting is not just one for women but one for men. Because we are not our own in a relationship and we both submit to the other. That forms a union of 2 humble people who are willing to take the low road for each other.

If a woman can't submit to what authority God gave the husband, she should not look for a husband.

If a man can't submit to Gods word in regaurd to loving his wife and what authority God gave her he should remain without a wife.

The rules for both people are the same. The only differance is that man is the leader. But that don't mean the woman has no say. Because a good leader knows who is following and what they want and where they want to go.

Like a captain and a second officer. Both are in agreement, but the captain just gives the word.
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  #6  
Old 31st December 2003, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by looksgood
Like a captain and a second officer. Both are in agreement, but the captain just gives the word.
And the captain ulimately has to answer to the Lord of the Admiralty just as the second officer does. So submission to husbands in a Christ-centred relationship is another way of following Jesus, with someone there to pick you up when you need help and to pick up them when they need help. The Victorian era thinking of submission as a man being able to beat his wife with a wooden rod if she denies him sex is a very wrong view of submission, and thank goodness it's gone.

To attmpt to answer the initial post, I think celebacy is a hard call, but I admire anyone who can do it. If you figure out what God has called you to do, do it joyfully and with your whole heart. Good luck.
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