Impossible? Can you further explain? Because I see people who live Godly lives and have been trusting God to send them someone, and it has not happened. They have such a strong desire to be with someone, yet feel that the best years of thier lives are passing them by. I talked with a woman a few months ago who fit this description. It was clear that this was really a hurting wound in her life.
*Snacks on a raw lemon as he writes this up* “Under normal circumstances” no I seriously see no possible way. Circumstances other than being shipwrecked on a desert island or some form of serious medical condition, 30 to 40 years to find someone is too long if they are in such a desperate state as your post suggests. I would argue that even though at this time that person seems to show a strong desire to find a companion, it is most likely they did not have such a desire five or ten years ago.
A possible explanation of this is if She gave the situation to the Lord and he toned down her desire for some time. Now maybe the person for her is growing near so the Lord has heightened her anticipation for her companion. Though the desire was never fully taken away, when communication of it with you has revealed the emotion of it making it seem desperate in some form. There are many ways I could put it since I really don't know her situation and you may not fully know either.
She would have needed to be bound to a chare with rope all her life to have no opportunity to meet people and find someone. Not that anyone would do but whom she does find is the one for her for it would have been ultimately arranged by the Lord for his desire for her life. But if she does not seek then she will not find. She can ask all she wants but if she does not follow through and seek then how can she find? It’s not a situation like mana falling from heaven.
I know from my personal experience of being very active in the church and activities that I have had many opportunities to find someone. In fact I was even engaged once. But really, I don’t actively seek for a Wife so I’m not married. Though sometimes I feel the tug, I am content with who I am at this point. That may change, who knows? Does it really need to?
We are supposed to be content in this way. For someone to think that it will be the ultimate end all of all ones problems would be a misnomer. It is trading one set of problems for another. I have plenty of problems and when I get married those problems will be replaced with an entirely different set of problems. *Cuts up another lemon* hehe. Yes there are great things about being married but so to with being single.
As for your friend, I recommend the book Strike the original match (link). It’s written for the purpose of rekindling a marriage but it is a great primer for someone serious about getting hitched. Know what to expect and be prepared to never give up trying. Divorce does not exist in my vocabulary for me.
Last edited by Durelen; 22nd December 2003 at 06:45 PM.
Then we have a difference in opinion over wants and needs. God's Word does not also indicate that He guarantees a spouse for every person. Perhaps providing a spouse for every person could result in something equally not good for us as laziness or gluttony, but we are not aware of it because we can't see the big picture. Perhaps by not getting married, He is saving us from a huge heartache down the road that we could in no way anticipate. We could keep guessing forever. But neither you or I have the mind of God and know exactly what His plan is or know why He does what He does. His ways are not our ways. One of my favorite proverbs is "Trust in the Lord will all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" because there are just some things out there we will never be able to explain, and may never know until we can talk with God one on one, in heaven. But if we allow ourselves to dwell on such matters, we are looking at the proverbial closed door and missing the open windows He has provided.
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"I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." (Psalm 81:10)
"Love God, Love People, Nothing Else Matters." (Mission Year)
Has this always been your view, or is it just something that you have accepted as you have gotten older?
I guess it's my Presbyterian background and learning the Westminster Catechism as a kindergartener and youth, in which the first question asked is:
Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Everything else is secondary.
This is related to the part of the Sermon on the Mount in which Jesus said to take no thought for tomorrow, sufficient is the evil of the day, and Seek first the kindgom of God and all these things will be added freely to you. I trust God is leading me down the right path.
But if she does not seek then she will not find. She can ask all she wants but if she does not follow through and seek then how can she find? It’s not a situation like mana falling from heaven.
No comment really, just wanted to highlight this particular thought......
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Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5
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Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day!
Just thought I would post something God began to show me. I got to a point myself where I am fine with single life. Yet I still desire to show love to someone. So I ended up just telling God about it. I let Him know that it isn't a HUGE request, but a simple desire. I told Him I was fine with whatever He had planed, but also let Him know it was still one of my desires.
Well Next thing I know is that He opens scriptures to me. I always thought that if God would bless me in such a way then I really only had to wait. I was wrong! Proverbs 16 1 The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the LORD.
9 A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.
#9 is a big one. We chose our way. We deside what we want. For me it is a wife. So I know I must divise my way. I must seek in order to find. And God will direct my steps. He is the superviser. His word guides me in my life. His word is my guidline. But if I desire anything I must walk to get to it. I must seek it.
His word keeps me safe along my path, but the path is one I have set. He helps me avoid the pot holes.
So by His words of this and other scriptures I know that all acts God has done for men, He has required them to do something too. Even in the search for a wife (Whom we FIND) we must do the seeking.
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Yes but remember that it does take time. When I was in premarriage counseling I was shown that selecting a person to share the rest of your life with is like looking for and buying a house. You just don’t go out and select any house to live in but look at many houses and find the right one for you. Someone who is eagerly seeking a house will find one even if it takes a few years (hehe not 10 or 20) thinking realistically. No it’s not exactly the same thing but it’s a good example. (edit in)Well come to think of it, that was told to me after she had said, “curse God and die!” to me. Poor mixed up girl. Be careful at what houses you look at, they could collapse on you and spread fire to the rest of the neighborhood.
I do feel led to address something here though. One of the leading age groups of Women having babies are those in the late 30’s early 40’s. These are women that sacrificed having family to pursue a career in todays liberated culture. Make sure you are waiting on the Lord and not just being reflective of a liberated culture. For many, by the time they realized that career is not as valuable as relationships, it may have been too late.
Last edited by Durelen; 23rd December 2003 at 05:08 PM.
Indeed we should be carefull. As long as you both shall live may be a LONG time. We should know that and be ready for it. If you don't know how you are making it in just corting, it is prolly not good to marry yet.
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I was just going to throw in..that earlier when I said that every situation is different that was relevant to whatever age group you're in. It's wonderful to know or feel that you are ready for marriage but as it has been stated here several, SEVERAL times, it really comes down to when God is ready to place you in the appropriate relationship. I feel that when the time is right, you will have the various opportunities to meet and know the person you will hopefully spend the rest of your life with. Just because one has prayed about, read about it and feels ready for it doesn't mean that it's going to all happen within a year, five or even twenty. Hey, I could get married at 65 if that's His will. It may not be what I thought would happen, but it's still His Will.
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"I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." (Psalm 81:10)
"Love God, Love People, Nothing Else Matters." (Mission Year)
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with one another,to be loved throughly and exclusively. But God, to a Christian says, "NO NOT UNTIL YOU ARE SATISFIED, FULFILLED, AND CONTENT WITH LIVING, LOVED BY ME ALONE, WITH GIVING YOURSELF TOTALLY AND UNRESERVEDLY TO ME. He also says he will not give us anything that will take us away from him.. Somthing to ponder..
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