Home | Be a Christian | Devotionals | Join Us! | Forums | Rules | F.A.Q.


Go Back   Christian Forums > Ministry > Life Stages > Married Couples
Register BlogsPrayersJobsArcade Calendar Mark Forums Read

Married Couples Married Area - Available for those who are married, which is defined as a legal union between one man and one woman.

Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Unread 19th December 2013, 05:22 PM
mkgal1's Avatar
His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33

51 Gender: Female Married Faith: Anglican Member For 5 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 22nd June 2007
Location: California
Posts: 15,838
Blessings: 205,006,366
My Mood Amazed
Reps: 729,212,546,106,809,216 (power: 729,212,546,106,832)
mkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond repute
mkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond repute
How to stay on the "right" side of encouraging others.

That's a simple question that asks a lot (IMHO). What sort of inspired this thread now is this post of A34's:

When I post about growing in Christ-likeness, what I'm referring to is influencing other Christians to re-examine those things that don't work and to re-examine their world view in the light of biblical teaching. The 'subject that shall not be named' is a perfect example.

So if we don't want to remain in bondage, maintain the status-quo, and bring death to relationship, we have to be willing to re-examine our world-view according to a higher standard~http://www.christianforums.com/t7792639-12/
How do we do that and still stand secure in knowing that we're not disrespecting someone?

If someone doesn't realize they're in bondage or that they're continually hitting the same wall (one that can be removed with a change of thought).....how do we make them see that (*can* we make them see that)?

If two people have different thoughts about something (like what a Christ-like and mature way of handling something is)....is one wrong....the other right? Is it even about "right" and "wrong"? Don't the surrounding details matter? If we're the one believing someone *else* needs to re-examine their way of thinking......how do *we* know it isn't us that needs to do the re-examining?
__________________
“The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.” ~Chimanda Ngozi Adichie


"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring one another- Romans 12: 9-10

Last edited by mkgal1; 20th December 2013 at 03:10 AM.
Become a CF Site Supporter Today and Make These Ads Go Away!

  #2  
Unread 19th December 2013, 06:32 PM
mkgal1's Avatar
His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33

51 Gender: Female Married Faith: Anglican Member For 5 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 22nd June 2007
Location: California
Posts: 15,838
Blessings: 205,006,366
My Mood Amazed
Reps: 729,212,546,106,809,216 (power: 729,212,546,106,832)
mkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond repute
mkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond repute
A Google search showed this article:

Right before Jesus was arrested and taken to the cross, He had a conversation with one of his disciples, Peter. He said, “Peter, you are going to deny me three times tonight.” But Peter loved Jesus and refused to believe it, “No way! I would never deny You. I’ll stand by You ’til the end!” Sure enough, the Bible talks about three accounts when Peter denied that he had any association with Jesus because he feared for his own life.
Do you know how Jesus responded? You would think He would start off with “I told you so!” But He didn’t. Here’s what happened…
After Jesus died and rose again, He appeared to Mary at His tomb and said to her, “I want you to go and tell everyone that I’ve risen.” Then He said, “And, go find Peter.” Now why do you think Jesus singled Peter out? He didn’t call him out to yell at him or condemn him. No, Jesus wanted Peter to know that he was still loved, valued and forgiven. Jesus didn’t hold a grudge. Instead, He extended mercy to Peter and restored him, and He extends that same mercy to us every single day!

The Bible tells us that mercy triumphs over judgment. That means when you choose to show mercy instead of judging and condemning others, you are choosing victory and staying on the winning side!

Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment! (James 2:12-13, NIV)


Read more: Stay On Winning Side - Words of Hope and Inspiration with Joel and Victoria Osteen
That's not the same thing as sweeping things under the rug.
__________________
“The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.” ~Chimanda Ngozi Adichie


"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring one another- Romans 12: 9-10
  #3  
Unread 20th December 2013, 12:38 AM
Tins's Avatar
The Cat Lady And Thread Watchdog

27 Gender: Female Married Faith: Pentecostal Country: United States Member For 5 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 4th April 2004
Location: Where am I?
Posts: 14,234
Blessings: 1,499,296,892
My Mood Thinking
Reps: 2,737,765,071,198,603,776 (power: 2,737,765,071,198,629)
Tins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond repute
Tins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond reputeTins has a reputation beyond repute
That's something I've been wondering for a while, especially lately. I have friends who are extremely conservative and 100% anti all the hot button topics (homosexuality, abortion, etc) and then I have friends who are completely on the opposite end of the spectrum, claiming the name of Jesus but accepting all these things as relatively ok. I am somewhere in the middle, but leaning more towards the liberal side of things and it is very hard to stand firm in that when I have my extreme conservative friends (and husband!) hounding me. In some of the areas, nothing more than a small shift in thought would help them be more gracious towards others, rather than judgmental. And I have wondered how to stand fast in my beliefs while helping them to see things in a different perspective which will perhaps help them be a little more free. I do not want them to be bound as I was in the past by all the rules and regulations and that stuff. I want them to be free, to love, show grace and mercy, and to be compassionate.

That does not mean accepting sin. It simply means to love the sinner, hate the sin. Respect that other people make a choice, even if it is wrong in your eyes. Even if it is wrong in God's eyes. It's not your choice or in your control. But surely being judgmental about it never helped anything...and I wish they could see that.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I have friends who I feel are too liberal and allow anything to slip under the cracks, under the idea of "acceptance" and tolerance, and they fluff God and Jesus up like he is some teddy bear that doesn't have an ounce of judgment. Oh, I know I'm sinning but Jesus will be there when I get done. He always loves me. Stuff like that. So for them, I wish they could have a little more structure when it comes to their beliefs because the lack of any structure at all causes them to fall for anything and releases them of any judgment, consequences, or responsibility, which can in turn hurt them and their relationships because consequences will always be there.

And for myself, I know that I struggle to accept other's beliefs. I say that I accept them, but if they try to question mine, I will end up getting too emotional, and will fail at the "love one another" part lol. So as much as I wish to encourage others to be more open to different perspectives, I myself struggle with allowing myself to do so. The best way for someone to approach me about a different perspective is to just be themselves and to not hound me with it as though it was the be all and end all. Show me how a different perspective works, rather than telling me.

I find words to fail a lot now. With most people. They've all heard it. Now they want to see it in action.
__________________
~~~

The best way for us to lead others to Christ is to show them the love of God.
People are tired of words. They want action. Love is an action that we can put into motion,
for if God is in us, then love is in us, because God IS love.

~~~



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



We're ALL mad here!
  #4  
Unread 20th December 2013, 01:12 AM
Kylissa's Avatar
Servant of God

Gender: Female Married Faith: Eastern-Orthodox Country: United States Fisherman
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 2nd December 2013
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 7,448
Blessings: 2,919,367
My Mood Pensive
Reps: 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 (power: 9,223,372,036,854,784)
Kylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond repute
Kylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond reputeKylissa has a reputation beyond repute
We all tend to be most comfortable with people who are "like" us, no matter where we may be. If we move along the spectrum, we prefer people to share our new views. It somehow validates us.

What I have found helpful is to keep in my mind just how much I have changed. My position on quite a few things has shifted over the years, if not outright changed. I hope that I grow to be more like Christ, so I am forced to look at my "old self" and be humbled by realizing that's is who I was. Keeping that firmly in mind - not in the way of condemnation, but in the sense of realizing my own mistakes - I think helps me to be more understanding of areas where others may be struggling or growing.

It can be dangerous to see others as somehow "falling short" of yourself, as that puts you in danger of becoming prideful. Pride is one of those sins God especially condemns. After all, look what Lucifer/Satan's pride led to for all of creation.
  #5  
Unread 20th December 2013, 02:27 AM
ValleyGal's Avatar
Celebrate Life!

Gender: Female Married Faith: Anabaptist Country: Canada Member For 1 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 19th December 2012
Posts: 3,575
Blessings: 42,103,937
My Mood Serious
Reps: 521,748,323,948,236,544 (power: 521,748,323,948,241)
ValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond repute
ValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond reputeValleyGal has a reputation beyond repute
How do we do that and still stand secure in knowing that we're not disrespecting someone?
I think it would be a good start if the original quote from A34 was actually taken into context....meaning, it was a specific response to a specific thing you said. If you take things out of their original context, it makes some people look like they have beliefs that they don't really have. Perhaps you would consider editing your OP and including the whole conversation rather than some random piece that likely won't make any sense out of context.
  #6  
Unread 20th December 2013, 08:47 AM
Niffer's Avatar
Hook, Line and Sinker

27 Gender: Female Married Faith: Christian Party: CA-Conservatives Country: Canada Member For 5 Years Armor Bearer
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 1st August 2008
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,093
Blessings: 12,279,539
My Mood Lurking
Reps: 559,442,967,074,383,744 (power: 559,442,967,074,393)
Niffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond repute
Niffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond reputeNiffer has a reputation beyond repute
With all the Duck Dynasty stuff that has been coming up, I can see how Christians and non-Christians alike are getting their panties into a snafu.

There is a line between being gracious and loving, and being tolerating and accepting.

That being said, as a Christian there are more serious issues and then there are lesser ones.
For example, if I found out my pastor had a different end-of-the-word Revelations idea I had, would I leave his church on it?
..Nah, to me, its end-of-the-world theology, and I plan on being long dead before any of that happens.

However, if he came out from behind the pulpit saying abortion was a fine and moral choice, I'd stand up and leave right away...

Now everyone has personal convictions, things they feel strongly about, and that's not a bad thing.
Ramming it down someones throat, or acting in a way that is aggressive or arrogant then THAT can be a serious problem.

When it comes to encouraging those in their Christian walk, unless I know them extremely personally, I am absolutely NO position to judge them or their choices.
If I found out a member of my congregation was a closet-alcoholic, then yes, I would step in and do my best to help them, as they are hurting themselves and could hurt others.
If I found out a member of my congregation was for homosexual marriage within the church, I'd probably just shrug and keep my mouth shut.
It's not up to me to try to make them live what I believe is a godly life or make the same decisions I would.

My responsibility is to care for them as a person, and if through that, they want to know where I stand theologically, I'd be happy to tell them.

I've had many homosexual friends, they KNEW I didn't agree with homosexual marriage (and a lot of them didn't agree with Christianity. ) but that didn't stop us from being able to have a relationship and friendship.
Even though they thought I was silly for "needin' religion" they still liked me for who I was.

And even though there are Christians who we don't believe have the right perception of things, our first course of action should be to create a relationship first, before we try to 'change their minds'.

~ Niffer
__________________
"Strong complementarian women combine things the world cannot explain: a sweet, tender, kind, loving, submissive, feminine beauty, with massive steel in their backs, and theology in their brains." ~ John Piper


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Eco-friendly, baby-wearing, yoga-doing, line-drying, one-car owning,
extended breast-feeding, cloth-diapering, trail-running, herbalist-aspiring, small-town hippie, and ESFJ
  #7  
Unread 20th December 2013, 09:42 AM
Contributor

54 Gender: Female Married Faith: Non-Denominational Country: United States Member For 5 Years
 
Join Date: 8th November 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 17,609
Blessings: 28,769,724
Reps: 1,201,001,981,803,545,088 (power: 1,201,001,981,803,574)
razzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond repute
razzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond reputerazzelflabben has a reputation beyond repute
Personally, I think this is easier than most people try to make it...first, study scripture so that you know what you believe and why, in this way, you will not be guilty of leading others astray. Secondly, understand and accept that God has given every man the gift of choice and you have no authority or right to remove that gift from them. All goes back to God's authority in giving the gift in the first place.

Most people get into battles over theology and life styles because they want to control the choices of others. If we get that it is God's job to convince and change hearts and not our own, then our sole job is to point others to Christ, hold them there in prayer, and watch God work. That does not mean beating them with the truth, or shunning them for unrepentant sin, but rather it's a Matt. 18 approach to sin issues.
  #8  
Unread 20th December 2013, 10:36 AM
Autumnleaf's Avatar
Legend

Gender: Male Married Faith: Charismatic Member For 5 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 18th June 2005
Posts: 23,422
Blessings: 1,545,799
My Mood Happy
Blog Entries: 7
Reps: 355,208,072,360,130,048 (power: 355,208,072,360,163)
Autumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond repute
Autumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond reputeAutumnleaf has a reputation beyond repute
What color is a Rubik's cube?



It depends on which side you are looking at and when you are looking at it. Everything is kind of like that. We all see things filtered through our own senses and our own experience. That makes for lots of different perspectives. Your truth may or may not match what my experience and senses present to me. You never know. Its important we pray about things before attempting to correct someone else. Very few people choose to be evil and do wrong. Most think they are doing the best they can and in their own estimation are good people. Just ask them.
__________________
The flower of consciousness needs the mud from which it grows.
  #9  
Unread 22nd December 2013, 01:49 AM
CounselorForChrist's Avatar
Senior Veteran

Gender: Male Married Faith: Christian Country: United States Member For 4 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 24th August 2010
Posts: 6,597
Blessings: 15,199,204
My Mood In Love
Reps: 459,215,269,012,975,040 (power: 459,215,269,012,986)
CounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond repute
CounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond reputeCounselorForChrist has a reputation beyond repute
For me I have always been able to see things form all angles. And I use what I know to determines what I will say. Obviously I tend to share from my point of view. But if someones POV makes sense then I can agree with them. And if someone says something to me trying to correct me, I examine what they said and if they are right then I apologize.

However I try not to turn everything into a battle or debate. Best example is salvation. Its my job to help bring people to God. But at some point I give up on a person not because I don't care. But because if a wall chooses to be a wall then you can't change it. That and they have heard the truth and God says He will work on them. I do not like forcing my view on anyone as if to control them.

They are free to disagree and I will respect that. As my one signature says at the bottom "Lets agree to disagree!". This also means I try not to hold grudges against someone who disagrees or can be mean about it to me. On their end they can choose to be how they want. I am not responsible for how someone wants to be.

I love encouraging others in the end.

I can see how Christians and non-Christians alike are getting their panties into a snafu.
FYI i don't wear panties anymore. LOL
__________________
Divorce is never an option. Neither is remarraige.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Pearls before swine!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Lets just agree to disagree.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
  #10  
Unread 23rd December 2013, 04:35 PM
mkgal1's Avatar
His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33

51 Gender: Female Married Faith: Anglican Member For 5 Years
View Profile Pic
 
Join Date: 22nd June 2007
Location: California
Posts: 15,838
Blessings: 205,006,366
My Mood Amazed
Reps: 729,212,546,106,809,216 (power: 729,212,546,106,832)
mkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond repute
mkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond reputemkgal1 has a reputation beyond repute
Great responses.......thanks!

I especially loved how these points were worded:

Respect that other people make a choice, even if it is wrong in your eyes. Even if it is wrong in God's eyes. It's not your choice or in your control. But surely being judgmental about it never helped anything...and I wish they could see that.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I have friends who I feel are too liberal and allow anything to slip under the cracks, under the idea of "acceptance" and tolerance, and they fluff God and Jesus up like he is some teddy bear that doesn't have an ounce of judgment. So for them, I wish they could have a little more structure when it comes to their beliefs because the lack of any structure at all causes them to fall for anything and releases them of any judgment, consequences, or responsibility, which can in turn hurt them and their relationships because consequences will always be there.
What I have found helpful is to keep in my mind just how much I have changed. My position on quite a few things has shifted over the years, if not outright changed. I hope that I grow to be more like Christ, so I am forced to look at my "old self" and be humbled by realizing that's is who I was. Keeping that firmly in mind - not in the way of condemnation, but in the sense of realizing my own mistakes - I think helps me to be more understanding of areas where others may be struggling or growing.

It can be dangerous to see others as somehow "falling short" of yourself, as that puts you in danger of becoming prideful. Pride is one of those sins God especially condemns. After all, look what Lucifer/Satan's pride led to for all of creation.
When it comes to encouraging those in their Christian walk, unless I know them extremely personally, I am absolutely NO position to judge them or their choices. Our first course of action should be to create a relationship first, before we try to 'change their minds'.
I believe this is a great stance to take:

My responsibility is to care for them as a person, and if through that, they want to know where I stand theologically, I'd be happy to tell them.


And....this is important (I believe):

study scripture so that you know what you believe and why, in this way, you will not be guilty of leading others astray. Secondly, understand and accept that God has given every man the gift of choice and you have no authority or right to remove that gift from them. All goes back to God's authority in giving the gift in the first place.
I've been guilty of getting my theology directly from people I respect (instead of seeking it out all on my own). We have to be firm in what we believe.....not in order to convince others....but mostly so we won't be blowing in the wind and changing with everything that passes our way.

That does not mean beating them with the truth, or shunning them for unrepentant sin, but rather it's a Matt. 18 approach to sin issues.
This may be where things get difficult to discern. What some people believe is someone "sinning against them" may just be an annoyance or even something within them that causes them to see things differently (for instance.....a person may have an entitlement issue and see it as "sinning" when someone has to bow out of a ministry project due to a seriously sick family member).
__________________
“The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.” ~Chimanda Ngozi Adichie


"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring one another- Romans 12: 9-10
Closed Thread


Return to Married Couples

Thread Tools
Display Modes


 
Become a CF Site Supporter Today and Make These Ads Go Away!


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:41 AM.