I keep on praying that God will bring me the godly, childfree mate that I've been yearning for for--let's see--three years now and still nothing. It's made all the worse by the fact that I'm still a virgin and am about to turn 34 in a few months. You'd think that I'd be rewarded for holding out that long, but I dunno. It's getting to the point where I keep having thoughts of hiring an escort and then taking my own life afterwards (yes, it's getting bad). Keep me in your prayers--maybe He'll listen to you guys.
__________________ “All laws which are repugnant to the Constitution are null and void.”
Marbury vs. Madison 5 US (2 Cranch) 137, 174, 176, (1803)
"Those people who are not governed by God will be ruled by tyrants." --William Penn
I keep on praying that God will bring me the godly, childfree mate that I've been yearning for for--let's see--three years now and still nothing. It's made all the worse by the fact that I'm still a virgin and am about to turn 34 in a few months. You'd think that I'd be rewarded for holding out that long, but I dunno. It's getting to the point where I keep having thoughts of hiring an escort and then taking my own life afterwards (yes, it's getting bad). Keep me in your prayers--maybe He'll listen to you guys.
What if God's perfect mate for you has children?
If you think you feel bad now you can't imagine the shame and sense of worthlessness you'll feel if you sleep with a hooker just so you can lose your virginity.
Praying for you to have peace and a desire to wait on God's perfect timing, and perfect mate whether they have children or not.
__________________ So the spirit took me up, and brought me into the inner court; and, behold, the glory of the LORD filled the house. - Ezekiel 43:5
But by the grace of God I am what I am - 1 Cor 15:10
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad, brother. I know it is cliched and not what you want to hear, but God's timing really is perfect, and he will bring you together with the one he has for you at the perfect time. Maybe she isn't ready yet... maybe you aren't...
Praying that God will comfort you, and that your prayers will be answered very soon
__________________
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His grace is sufficient...
RIP Dede.
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Your not alone in this, Purge. At my age, sometimes I feel that way. Do you have some friends or family around you? Any kind of support system?
Praying for ya, brother!
Originally Posted by Purge187
I keep on praying that God will bring me the godly, childfree mate that I've been yearning for for--let's see--three years now and still nothing. It's made all the worse by the fact that I'm still a virgin and am about to turn 34 in a few months. You'd think that I'd be rewarded for holding out that long, but I dunno. It's getting to the point where I keep having thoughts of hiring an escort and then taking my own life afterwards (yes, it's getting bad). Keep me in your prayers--maybe He'll listen to you guys.
__________________
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I used to get depressed about this also. Over time and through counselling for my depression I realised that I was putting too much self value and worth into the hands of others - such as finding a soul mate who will validate me.
It is often said that first you have to love yourself and be content with your single life before you can attract love, I have seen it first hand.
Perhaps you could also ask for god to bring love into your life, rather than asking for specifics?
__________________ There is something pagan in me that I cannot shake off. In short, I deny nothing, but doubt everything. - Lord Byron
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"Our danger is to water down God’s word to suit ourselves.
God never fits His word to suit me; He fits me to suit His word." Not Knowing Whither, 901 R
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I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. Waiting is not easy. I don't like waiting at all. But God's goodness is worth waiting for. Can you imagine just how precious this relationship that you've been waiting for, hoping for, praying for, comes along. God is going to bless your socks off.
Originally Posted by dGirl1986
I used to get depressed about this also. Over time and through counselling for my depression I realised that I was putting too much self value and worth into the hands of others - such as finding a soul mate who will validate me.
This really is so important! There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married but we'll always be miserable if we put our happiness and self worth in another persons hands, whether you're married or not.
The best part about being single is that you can use the time to completely abandon yourself to God. Allow God to use this time to shape your character and serve others. When we stop focusing on getting our prayers answered, we can focus on the blessings we already have and we can avoid the temptation and hurt of going down paths that are badly chosen.
Waiting can be painstaking. But hang in there. Praying for you ...and on that note, I'll leave you with 2 awesome quotes:
"I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what he is up to." ~ Elisabeth Elliot
"His ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. And one day, every one of our question marks will be yanked into exclamation points as we see that high plan as He sees it - perfect."
~ Mary Southerland
__________________
"My frame was not hidden from You, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth." Psalm 139:15
This really is so important! There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married but we'll always be miserable if we put our happiness and self worth in another persons hands, whether you're married or not.
The best part about being single is that you can use the time to completely abandon yourself to God. Allow God to use this time to shape your character and serve others. When we stop focusing on getting our prayers answered, we can focus on the blessings we already have and we can avoid the temptation and hurt of going down paths that are badly chosen.
The above quoted is truth indeed. I have struggled with the same issue. And knowing that I struggle with it doesn't make it any easier, it's still really hard! I find that God is trying to teach me that the same way I'm longing for a woman to love her, the same way Jesus is longing to love me because the church is His bride in the Spirit. So I just try to close my eyes and imagine Him holding me to comfort me and His love pouring into my heart like a river.
I do this especially when I am tempted and feel like looking at porn. Giving into addiction has only ever ended up in intensifying my depression, and intensifies the feelings of shame and unworthiness and makes me feel like a loser and like beating myself up so this is one area of my life that I really need to focus for and I need a lot of prayer for. And while I'm doing all these things I know God is working on me changing my heart ever so much and preparing me for my wife and also preparing my wife for me =). But like I said knowing this doesn't make it any easier, especially on those days when I am longing for a relationship. Lord bring my sanctification quickly!
Peace and Love
Last edited by RecoveringwithChrist; 13th November 2012 at 03:43 PM.
Had to bump the thread to say that today was another one of those days. Broke down crying in the cafeteria during break time. If I knew that this endless suffering had some sort of purpose, that would be something. As such, I seem to have an urge for companionship that God doesn't seem to care about.
__________________ “All laws which are repugnant to the Constitution are null and void.”
Marbury vs. Madison 5 US (2 Cranch) 137, 174, 176, (1803)
"Those people who are not governed by God will be ruled by tyrants." --William Penn
Continued depression about being single. 
...and on that note, I'll leave you with 2 awesome quotes:
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