*atheist husband

Anonymous Voice · #1 27th October 2012, 03:49 AM

My husband recently told me he is Atheist. and he has been for at least 5 years. Which means he has lied to me about it for that long. I feel like I dont know him anymore and the more I get to know this new person he is, the less I like about him. I feel like im married to a completely different person. He sees no problems in this at all and doesnt think I should have a problem with it either. I am a christian. Have been since I was 8. Im 33 now. He says he was a believer and that he just sees no scientific proof that God exists. HE wants physical proof. I know I cannot do that, only God can show him that and I do pray that God will show him before its too late.

I just dont know what to do. Im completely stumped. Ive read what the bible says about a believer being married to a non believer, and i can live with that, but the lies i cannot live with.

HE also cheated on me with a lady that I thought was my friend. and I feel God has given me the strength to forgive that.

How can I have the strength to forgive him for cheating but not for believing anymore? How can I be married to a person who is NOT who I thought he was for so long. How can I go on in my marriage not trusting him and not even wanting him in the same room? I dont know if I like him anymore. I really felt that God put us together for a reason. we did make each other very happy, but I cant seem to be happy with him right now.

Like tonight, he started a fight just to "make me mad" and "see where the fight would go" who does this? And why would he do this? My sister is getting married in a few hours and its suppose to be a happy time for her and I will NOT let him ruin that. but at the same time, how am I suppose to act happy when i feel like i am dying inside?

sacerdote · #2 28th October 2012, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by Anonymous Voice

My husband recently told me he is Atheist. and he has been for at least 5 years. Which means he has lied to me about it for that long. I feel like I dont know him anymore and the more I get to know this new person he is, the less I like about him. I feel like im married to a completely different person. He sees no problems in this at all and doesnt think I should have a problem with it either. I am a christian. Have been since I was 8. Im 33 now. He says he was a believer and that he just sees no scientific proof that God exists. HE wants physical proof. I know I cannot do that, only God can show him that and I do pray that God will show him before its too late.

I just dont know what to do. Im completely stumped. Ive read what the bible says about a believer being married to a non believer, and i can live with that, but the lies i cannot live with.

HE also cheated on me with a lady that I thought was my friend. and I feel God has given me the strength to forgive that.

How can I have the strength to forgive him for cheating but not for believing anymore? How can I be married to a person who is NOT who I thought he was for so long. How can I go on in my marriage not trusting him and not even wanting him in the same room? I dont know if I like him anymore. I really felt that God put us together for a reason. we did make each other very happy, but I cant seem to be happy with him right now.

Like tonight, he started a fight just to "make me mad" and "see where the fight would go" who does this? And why would he do this? My sister is getting married in a few hours and its suppose to be a happy time for her and I will NOT let him ruin that. but at the same time, how am I suppose to act happy when i feel like i am dying inside?

Hello,

Normally I would suggest that you ask your Pastor for marriage counseling but since your husband does not go to church I suggest that both of you seek marital counseling with a Christian Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. You may have to find out if the LMFT is a Christian by asking but I think it is important. If your husband will not go to therapy then I advise you to seek therapy with a Licensed Professional Counselor or Licensed Clinical Social Worker. You have got to work on some of these thoughts and feelings in order to make good decisions about your future.

Yes you have the Scriptural OK to seek a divorce because of your husband's infidelity. But, I have seen some very rocky and complicated marital situations get much better as the result of both partners working on them. In fact, I can personally vouch for everything I have suggested. Let me know if he is willing to seek counseling with you. God bless you.

Faithfully,

CH Sacerdote

Anonymous Voice · #3 28th October 2012, 12:21 PM

no, hes already told me he wont go see anyone with me. he thinks we can handle it on our own and clearly we cant. I just dont know what im suppose to do. Im getting to the point where i dont want to be around him. and it bothers me to even look at him.

sacerdote · #4 28th October 2012, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by Anonymous Voice

no, hes already told me he wont go see anyone with me. he thinks we can handle it on our own and clearly we cant. I just dont know what im suppose to do. Im getting to the point where i dont want to be around him. and it bothers me to even look at him.

I'm sorry to hear that he's not willing. Now, please find a counselor for yourself so you can start working through these issues, clarify what your options are, get ready for any decisions you have to make, and not the least reason being so you can start feeling better.

God bless you. I have just prayed for you.

Faithfully,

CH Sacerdote