Need marriage advice

Sore Soul · #1 21st October 2012, 08:43 PM

My wife and I have been married for over 14 years. Throughout our marriage I always felt like she was not fully dedicated to fully live a Christian life and always try to get closer to God. She refuses to read the Bible and now she refuses to have fellowship with other ladies at church. She is becoming obsessed with working out, running, biking, triathlons, etc. She always calls me boring now and refuses to spend time with me or listen to me when I talk about things with her. She is constantly putting down what I do for God and refuses to serve in the church. I feel that God is calling me for more service but she is really making things difficult for me. What should I do?

BFine · #2 21st October 2012, 09:04 PM

Have you discussed your situation with your minister?
What did he suggest?

Avniel · #3 21st October 2012, 09:05 PM

Serve in church what do you mean can you expand on that thought?

Sore Soul · #4 21st October 2012, 09:20 PM

Hello,

Yes I discussed it with my Pastor. He suggests counseling but my wife refuses to go. She has OCD and thinks that everyone is judging her. She doesn't want to share anything with the pastor in which she thinks he can judge her for.

In regards to serving she refuses to help out in any way when the church needs help with things.

cb2012 · #5 21st October 2012, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by Sore Soul

Hello,

Yes I discussed it with my Pastor. He suggests counseling but my wife refuses to go. She has OCD and thinks that everyone is judging her. She doesn't want to share anything with the pastor in which she thinks he can judge her for.

In regards to serving she refuses to help out in any way when the church needs help with things.

This is only based on my experience with my wife. This is more about women in general than Religion.

Don't force it. Making her feel bad about not going and doing these things may push her farther away. Don't look at her with disappointment. Be encouraging. Tell her how good a time you guys all had when you were doing stuff this Sunday. Give her all the highlights. Make it appealing. If you come off as judging she may relate that to Christianity.

You could also try to get involved in the things that she likes. If you are having a hard time spending time with her, go to where she wants to go. I know it is tough. I ALWAYS end up trailing my wife to places I dont want to go. In fact following her to Church is in part how I became more religious, even though at first I didn't want to go. You never know where the road might take you. Maybe you'll enjoy her activities, and if she sees that you are more willing to do what she wants, maybe she'll do the things with you. And maybe, eventually, she will want to go and be there of her own accord.

I will say the one thing I have learned with my wife. She is always right. Period. But the more I let her be right, the more willing she is to let me have my way.

BFine · #6 21st October 2012, 09:32 PM

I would encourage you to seek counseling, even if she won't go.
Do you have a Christian mentor/ and or prayer partner at church? If
not, ask your minister about helping you make the connection with a suitable
mentor and or prayer partner.

You can serve at church without her, just make sure you allow
for quality time with her.

Avniel · #7 23rd October 2012, 08:49 AM

Originally Posted by Sore Soul

Hello,

Yes I discussed it with my Pastor. He suggests counseling but my wife refuses to go. She has OCD and thinks that everyone is judging her. She doesn't want to share anything with the pastor in which she thinks he can judge her for.

In regards to serving she refuses to help out in any way when the church needs help with things.

Does she serve in any sort of charity even among friends. You know not everyone serves in church. We as man think that we have to do service in church. When Christianity was jumping from house to house there wasn't to much service in church it's about what's outside....so many people think they have works because they are on the usher board that's man made religion.

StubbsBoy · #8 23rd October 2012, 09:16 AM

All I can say my brother is stay praying. I agree alot with points mentioned by cb2012 and bfine.

I had to adjust certain things in my marriage also for the things to work. We as men sometimes have to do certain things we might not like just to gain the trust of our wife. I also learn that, the more time I became involve in things my wife love, we became even more closer.

I started to create a business preposition for my wife and I. I encourge her that if I start to do two things she love to do, would she in return do one thing I love to do. Whatever you do please never let your wife feel alone and neglected. Remember just as much as we love the church we should also find a way to love our wife.

Avniel · #9 23rd October 2012, 11:31 AM

Originally Posted by StubbsBoy

All I can say my brother is stay praying. I agree alot with points mentioned by cb2012 and bfine.

I had to adjust certain things in my marriage also for the things to work. We as men sometimes have to do certain things we might not like just to gain the trust of our wife. I also learn that, the more time I became involve in things my wife love, we became even more closer.

I started to create a business preposition for my wife and I. I encourge her that if I start to do two things she love to do, would she in return do one thing I love to do. Whatever you do please never let your wife feel alone and neglected. Remember just as much as we love the church we should also find a way to love our wife.

Your to love your wife as Christ loved the church you are not to love your church as much as you love your wife. That is out of the order of God. It's boarder line idolatry.

Avniel · #10 23rd October 2012, 11:35 AM

I meant you're